what would you prefer?????????

[Qac Qaac]

Xisbi sorry bro if i understood u wrong. but i was just wanted for u to stay away from what most of the somali ppl do or say, we justify our positions by discredating our wadaado, for example, WAR WADDAADABA WAY SAMEEYAAN, EE ANAGA FARAHA NAGA QAAD. i hope u got my point, but obviously u were not meant to do that. seef labood baan noqday.

[Valenteenah.]

Only a few months ago, I would have been all over this debate, demonising house-wives and glorifying working women. Now...I could not care less. One thing I have noticed is we all use a 'one-size fits all' framework for every debate, when the reality on the ground couldn't be further from the truth. As an astute nomad already implied (P45 NGONGE? Only if it is accompanied by my Student Loans Company statement ), what might be right for one person might not be right for another. Therefore it is not advisable or even fair to apply what you want or aspire to as an individual to the rest of community.

 

So, on a particularly enlightening Sunday, I decided to stop fighting for Somali women's right to work (when most probably dont want to) and concentrate on figuring out what's right for me personally. Do I want to keep working thru motherhood Or would I prefer to become a full-time mom? Would I be able to survive as a housewife or completely lose my marbles? Or maybe I should be thinking about all this when there's an actual potential husband on the horizon? Or is it all a load of bollocks?

 

I dont know...am still trying to put it all into perspective. In the meantime, its back to working, saving, shopping and paying off debts while I await that knight in the shining macwiis to arrive and complete me. :rolleyes:

 

However, all this soul-searching doesn't blind me to how completely misguided and out of touch with reality 508 and QQ are. Someone needs to bring them back down to earth. I have heard Jupiter can be an awfully drafty place. :rolleyes:

[NGONGE]

^^^Oh. My. God! :eek:

She agrees with me for once! Somebody check her tempreture.

[checkmate]

posted by aeryan

I dont know...am still trying to put it all into perspective. In the meantime, its back to working, saving, shopping and paying off debts while I await that knight in the shining macwiis to arrive and complete me.

 

looool very creative, may allaah grant this wish ta all the single females in SOL, so that the somali knight in the shinning macawiis can put some of yall outta ur miseries

 

posted by sissade

Another question which arises is how do you define a good parent?/parenthood . As far as now we have been discussing the wife to be based at home and be educated. though it takes 2 to keep the household running.

Any ideas ?

 

sis i now believe u hav touched a critical subject which has flattened our entire communit. how ever i blame the fathers in most cases (they either abandon/neglect thier families or devorce) 75%of the kids raised in the western world have no fathers and outtof that 75% ONLY 25% have morally educated mathers. so where the rest 50% goes or does we will neva know.....

 

asxantu

[N.O.R.F]

Do I want to keep working thru motherhood Or would I prefer to become a full-time mom? Would I be able to survive as a housewife or completely lose my marbles? Or maybe I should be thinking about all this when there's an actual potential husband on the horizon? Or is it all a load of bollocks?

loooool, but a very good point!

 

I think it will all depend on whats right at the time with the husband and wife. Different situations different outcomes. We are not all in the same boat.

 

I'm personally all for becoming a 'house husband', if shes making good money why not?

As long as Sky Sports is being paid for, i'm :cool: !

[Juxa]

majority of the pple have managed to understand or read the whole postings of those smart enough to separate the issues in discussion. i dont blame those who have failed to recognise the difference between undermining or putting down their somali sisters and the need for proper and well-balanced family life.

 

some of the brothers have made good points, i call it common sense . so all i wanted to say have already been said. what i want to add is to each their own, meaning qofwalba tii u roon isagaa yaqaan, as long as women dont neglect their kids and they can achieve their potential, be a career or being a full-time mother.

 

a good man once said to me, if my wife thinks she can do better, earn more, i dont mind staying home. i think he lived happily ever after ok dont jump at me, bt my point is alot of women would have prefer to stay home if they could, and work only to help their family, and secure good future for their kids.

 

waxa loo kacaa, loo kufaa,,,,,,,,,waa adinka. so stop being bloody big headed, encourage and celebrate your women, be happy, be proud inay ku garab taagantahay

[raula]

I converge with most of the sensible heads in this forum who said different strokes for different people. However, majority of the males in here who said that I would implore the woman to stay home and take care of the children seem to have forgotten about the wife’s family. If he certainly is working and very much supports his pressing family (his wife and children), as well as the wife’s family (especially, with the majority of Somali females in the Diaspora supporting their immediate (birth) family) then no need to hassle. For males, (especially with waning and unpredictable current economy) if you cannot take the burden of supporting both families (yours as well as the wife’s, and maybe your own biological too), please don’t press the wife to stay at home (affirming some religion fallacy and incongruent gender roles) because you will be taking away the only chance for some families (especially with an educated daughter) to enjoy their daily bread.

 

In my case, I won’t mind being compensated for my sleep and many years of hard-labor’s work by being a stay home mom, while daddy is working his *** off to bring home the bacon :rolleyes: .

 

NB: Sis Sade pointed out a key insight in that the ‘Mother’s of Islam’ (RA) were very much working and had a career (I definitely think this word CAREER was just in a different term during the beginnings of ISLAM)-and certainly most of the mothers, If you read carefully the Siratul Anbiya’s –especially our exalted prophet ‘s wife (S.A.W.) each wife had a different role in their respected communities (such as the ‘mother of the poor’ etc).

[Common]

I think women should stay at home, take care of their kids and cook and clean for their husbands. There is nothing worse than a 27 year old chick with a professional job thinking she can take care of her kids, husband, career, and house all at the same time. KEEP YOUR FAT #%$ IN THE HOUSE AND QUIT TALKING SO MUCH ON THE PHONE!!

[NGONGE]

^^^^ Are you married to a sales rep, saaxib?

 

[N.O.R.F]

^^^lol

 

KEEP YOUR FAT #%$ IN THE HOUSE

or maybe she is a Lorry Driver