BORN_BRANIAC Posted June 18, 2004 Men--would it please you if your wife was a stay at home mom. Or would you prefer her to work? Ladies-would you like to be a stay at home mom if given the chance or do you prefer to be a career woman? Could you do it? Would you like for her to do it? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OG_Girl Posted June 19, 2004 I am glad I am first one to reply my twin What about if both possible.. to have career and take care of house with help from ur husband? I mean 50/50? I don't know, since we r refugee and we aint rich,we need both income!. In the end there is NO rule , deppends on the couple. Salam Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OG Moti Posted June 19, 2004 A women should stay at home, there she has the chance to achieve the highest achievement in one's life, A women is her house, every house has a name and dignity and these are build by a women, When a child behaves good they will not say ooh no wonder his father was a good man, instead people would say he or she has a good mother... a women with career can not achieve such noble goals, a women with career will have a broken house, a building a house is also a career, it is not backwards, I have a lot of western friends, none of them, I mean zero, has grown up with 2 parent, and what is the reason? Women forgetting their role in life and running after fake promises of independency and challenge with the man…. what is independency? if you want to be independent then don’t get marry, marriage is two people depending on each other, and when you get marry independency is out of the window….so I conclude women should stay at home, and build a house which has strong bases build on moral and ethical grounds, otherwise the equations wont be balanced … As for me, I don’t mind if she works, however I know that will be the reason if we will ever have a problem in our marriage… it is a risk and I will take it…. peace Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rudy-Diiriye Posted June 19, 2004 first! lemme say i congrat u with your new handle name...lolo.. some how deep inside, i kinda give less attribute to qabiil name!! lolol.. no harm intended.. but the truth is, i really respect u clan but it dont have to be on my face 24/7.. if u know what i mean!! i wanna be your homie coz u is nomad!namean! no coz, who u is!! okey, that said! my response to topic in hand! brotha, me being the new on the homie who got married, i really, appreciate my wife working. reason, is following! at least in america, if i take off one day off, tv drives me crazy!! walaahi.. now imagine, a wife that's there for a only week!! homie, she will be talking in tongues!! one more thing! families who both wives/husband are working, r the most successful couples, at least, in LA! when i see them, i admire them like and threat them like celebrates! u tell me! where else will u find, a couple with 4 kids, both have full time jobs and they also HAVE a business on the side, bringing the brothers or sisters and they work with on the WEEKENDS!!! yo that is a win win situation!!! this what happen last wedensday! there is this nomad family that owens a 7/11 close by me. so there was there kid helping the register in the morning, (la no visiting each other, be may only wedding or fesvital times only,so kids dont know who is who, coz there see u only in in blue mood) so when i got to him, and said to him... ok! i get a free coffee and a hundred dollar! :confused: he was gonna give it to since his dad was on the phone! he handed to me! yo, i told the kid that i was joking with him! he smiled so hard!!!!lololo.... the moral of this story is, 2 is better than one!! more productivity in hand! to feed that the tail end....the clan!!!!!!lolol... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Juxa Posted June 19, 2004 well what a good Q. i think i would not mind staying home if that was a necessary thing to do. for example i believe if a woman has a child, she should be with that child first 2 yrs of his/her life. alternatively she could work when her husband has the day off. this ofcouse requires both partners agreeing into some kind of compromise. 2 income is better than one, working wife is also good for the marriage, as bro rudy mentioned, woman need to be stimulated mentally, specially if she is educated and enjoys working, i see no reason why she should not. provided her home, husband and kids dont suffer. so ideally for me, i wont like to give up working, whoever makes most ££££ works most days. so if he works 4days i can do 3. or he does 5 and i do the weekends. when a woman is out of the house, she is more productive when she is back to the house. boredom and repetitive and mundane work such as cookin, cleaning and lookin after kids aint healthy for a woman who had a career before. so if i can have both. will be good now, to mr508. i think u should not reply to this topic, maybe if some1 posted a topic with the title of what do you understand as thou shall not cheat that will be interesting thing. you my dear 508, should try to understand human emotion or the concept if u get caught put yr hands up and say sorry untill yr eyez go green. finally remember always that woman talk. get them together and yr A_Z will be hang like macawis on sunshine. oh oops, sorry, this is not exactly staying on the topic. women have feeling, ambitions, goals. most if not all can do whatever a man can, if not better. so maybe its time for change, and change wont come unless the attitude of our men become more positive. if they allow their women to have all they want for themselves. marriage, home and kids is always a couple effort. read my lips it takes 2 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rudy-Diiriye Posted June 19, 2004 yup! it take 2 to tango!!! fitty fitty!! amiin! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Warrior of Light Posted June 19, 2004 Juxa, I have the same idea in mind. Prefer to balance. Intend Inshallah to put my career on hold after deciding to create a family. for atleast 3yrs-5yrs but will also depend on the home economics. wouldnt mind doing volunteer work or a comfortable half-day job twice a week to keep me sane. I know sounds a bit unrealist in these days with student loans to pay n everything but I beleive when that time comes, the childs nurturing needs to be the first priority. There is a swahili saying Mkunje samaki yungali mbichi similar to if you have to snip a plant, snip while still a bud. Anyway another break thru in the career field is working at home.Can work as an option. And 508, independency is a good thing. The secret to everything in life is moderation. Have to find the balance and take the responsibility. $100 question is do the parents know their responsibilty? Child raising is a responsibility and takes both parents efforts and sacrifices to have a healthy family. So, you cant just point a finger to the woman of the house. It maybe she did her responsibility but the husband has being sabotaging her efforts. At the end you also end up with wild children because the maestros of the house dont see eye to eye on raising their children. As said earlier it takes 2 to tango likewise a home is established by 2. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jumatatu Posted June 19, 2004 Originally posted by SisSade: Child raising is a responsibility and takes both parents efforts and sacrifices to have a healthy family. I could not agree more. Isnt the raising and nurturing your child/children a career and a responsibility in itself and a primary concern? Having asked this I accept the fact the situation could be determined by the financial status of the couple. But if the husband is capable of furnishing the basic needs of his family then the role of the mother is simplified.The role of an ideal mother is to be the backbone of the famliy, and that is rasing her children and being part of the decission making process in issues that concern her family.A mother who has a 9-5 job will never be equivelant and have the same value and calibre of a mother who has made her children her career. Now the argument could be for both ways and each will have its reasons..but please do not demean the real role of an ideal mother who has a supporting husband and their responsebility to their children.That supercedes anything else. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Juxa Posted June 19, 2004 ^^^^^^ i agree with u 100%. we should not demean the role of a mother who makes her kids first priority. its all about a choice. i think whichever way, the kids and their needs should come first. having family means facing responsibility. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Qac Qaac Posted June 19, 2004 Is this a trick question Sis? Well i believe my wife should be a stay home, is that a crime ladies. if she is really educated and she stays home woow, i know my kids will be the next scholars of this Ummah or nation. women with career gees ha iga marto, qeelo iyo buuq xoog uma hayo. mac salaama all. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OG Moti Posted June 20, 2004 ^^ my friend Qac qaac, I have a lot of respect for you, I really like the way you answered the question, and it seems this is what is the real open minded man thinking, yes women should be educated no limits in her education, but many women think being educated means finding jobs and getting positions, well Qac qaac got it… it is to build strong generation who are scholars and intelligent children who will lead the nation… I am with Qac Qaac I want my wife to be educated well so that we produce next leaders and people who actually have minds to lead a nation.. peace Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Juxa Posted June 20, 2004 most pple wonder where (somalis) went wrong! well wonder no more, cause its because of the thinking of those ^^^^^^^^^^^^ who claim to be educated, though i have not seen any prove :confused: . how can we ever be something, develop and produce next generation. if all our men think or believe as 508 said, that a woman should be educated for their convenience. what is the point of struggling, learning, if you are not valued, if the man u are sharing life with considers you nothing but a trophy. oh yeah she is educated, oh yeah she is smart, just so that she can look good on my arms. well i say 'hus', that man who is man enough to respect his wife's ideas, ambitions, and appreciates her and all she stands for, is OUT there. i intend to find him. the rest i think, it aint Q of family interest, it is a FEAR. that their women will be ahead, accomplish more, achieve the impossible. conclusion men are XAASID , xaasidna ilaahay ma garabgalo. :rolleyes: Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OG Moti Posted June 20, 2004 ^^^ misunderstood my wisdom, and since when women have their own ambitions? what is ambition, running after a job and competing with the man, I mean come on wake up, can you guys please tell us what you feel without the western influence in your thoughts, I repeat women’s ambitions should be to build a nation through her children and her husband, she should take care of their welfare and be by the side of her man not runs steps ahead of him… I said what I said for the sake of women, I am a women’s rights activist and I think women would have a dignity and honor not by winning chairs in the parliament, or running organization, she gains her respect and honor by running a house, parliament and organizations are off shoot of the house, the house is the base for everything, you run that, you gain respect, you ignore or neglect that you have nothing.. that is my advice… I am not young, I have been around, and my words are as strong as a rock, so think about it and read between the lines, and if you only listen you would know I am for women not against women.. peace Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Juxa Posted June 20, 2004 ^^^^^^^^ u are just contradicting yourself. listen to what u saying, u call yrself women right activist, duuuuuh u not, on the other hand u claim women lose their dignity and honour simply by wanting to be somebody and want a life of their own. u must understand there is no competition . have u even seen a woman denying her husband's role. NO. yet the man is quick to deny her basic life ambition which is wanting more than to serve a man day and night, and born him many sons. u see, somali men, specially this generation would like us to believe that they have moved on with times. that they appreciate women's capabilities of doing both. family and career. yet i think they even worse then last generation, atleast those men were brave they come out what they believed, which was, guriga ii joog, serve me, have my kids. i think this is all about some men feeling they are inadequate, their raganimo in question. well dont take it that far. look at it simply. imagine gacalo waa gacmo is dhaafsan or far kaliya fool madhaqdo . imagine the wellbeing of your family, economically, and mentally. think all u can achieve when u secure. after all i think what we women want is basically to make our family 'husband+kids' comfortable and secure our kids future. tell me this why and for whom are we doing what we doing. when we can simply sit on our fat mateeko, wait for u to do all. women wanting a career aint a reflection of a man's shortcomings . capiche? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Qac Qaac Posted June 20, 2004 have u even seen a woman denying her husband's role R U Kidding me Juxa?... YES i see it all the time. actually by contrast if women would stop denying men's respect the society will be in better place by now. 508 bro i agree with u, and i actually think u r one of the few wisdom ppl we have here. but bro women think now adays like juxaa, so just save your energy and very intelligent women would know what u r talking about but the rest of them, let's them live in their illusions. don't shuttered coz they won't like it. is like if u wake up a person who was having a good sleep, he would get mad at u, samething here bro. i would say to women viva la famme go ahead, emanicipation of women, waxa aad ka soo heshaana hal ila soo marinina. no wonder why devorce is too high on the muslim community now adays.. almost 70% do u believe that 508 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
