Dream wedding

[Nasir]

Haven't been to somali wedding for 8 years, but I do watch wedding videos. I wonder why are all weddings are the same, same songs, same dress, and same old dances for couple of hours. My question is if you was to make a change and this was your wedding, what would you do diffrent?

[Fouzia_Bella]

hey nasir i totally agree with u, i mean it's ALWAYS the same ol' thang. i thought about ma wedding (insha'allah) and it's definatly gonna be different hopefully.

you know how most somali ppl have their weddings in a hall, well i was thinking more like having it on a cruise ship if not have it outside, and instead of arriving in a limo, arrive in a horse carrage. i would wanna have those ice scalptures and the music would be 50% somali(iam somali after all) and 50% hip hop/R&B.

there's ma idea!!whatchu got?

[runawayvirgin]

yep BELLA no more Limos..we already did that for the prom

 

I really love camel carriages..especially when it's comming toward people..very graceful..

and if I couldn't find any camels here....I'll just settle for a horse carriage....beside that..Inshallah I want a belly dancer, and someone to play piano while we slow dance..I don't want to cut a cake..coz it doesn't make sense to me..but instead, I want caano geel for a drink....

[Senora]

yep BELLA no more Limos..we already did that for the prom

I Totally agree......but a lot of ppl are going for the whole horse and carriage thing now...i've actually been to a wedding thats done that b4...so until i meet that special person, i'll start brainstorming new ideas for my grand entrance

[Haneefah]

I'm not into weddings which is why I rarely attend Somali weddings and as odd as it sounds I don't usually think about how my wedding will be like...just cuz it's not part of my plans for the near future.

 

But in general if I had to make some changes...I would separate the traditional dances from the wedding day...maybe leave all the Dhaanto/braanbur/hilib iyo caano geel for the Nikaax and keep the weddding day strictly formal

 

I would also change the timing, make it during the day...I'm just not into weddings that end 5am in the morning...it's my wedding night for goodness sake, I wanna be able to enjoy the "night"

 

And last but not least...I would definitely make sure that the wedding represents me and my husband of course (although men sadly tend to care less)...I would make sure that things such as the decor, food and etc have my personal touch...like I love greenery and water, so the site will probably comprise both, maybe outdoor wedding?...and the floral arrangement is very important...I just luv lilies, orchids and of course roses...right now, I'm thinking red would make a perfect theme colour since it symbolizes love.

 

God...the ideas seem endless, I never had a clue :confused: But thanks Nasir...now at least I won't go errr, uhm when the time comes

[LuCkY]

NASIR I FEEL U BRO...ITS LIKE DEJA VU EXCEPT WITH DIFFERENT COUPLES GETTING MARRIED. IM NOT MUCH OF A WEDDING ATTENDEE BUT I DO SEE THE SAME OLD THINGS REPEATED OVER AND OVER AGAIN. IF I WAS TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENTLY IT WOULD BE THE WHOLE APPROACH TO THE WEDDING AND THE GUEST LIST(MOST DEFINITELY)-TOO MANY UNWANTED AND UNINVITED PEOPLE.(I DONT MEAN TO BE HARSH BUT SOME PEOPLE ARE NOT INVITED FOR A REASON---->THIS IS STRICTLY ME:I DONT KNOW ABOUT U GUYS).

I WOULD PLAN THE WEDDING MYSELF(AND MY HUSBAND TO BE, OF COURSE)THAT WAY ITS OUR THING---->MOST SOMALI WEDDINGS ARE NOT PLANNED BY THE COUPLE BUT BY THE FAMILY OR RELATIVES(ITS NOT A BAD THNG--HOWEVER LET THE COUPLE DO THE PLANNING AND WHATNOT) ITS KIND OF A TRADITIONAL, THE WAY EVERYTHING IS PROCESSED. ITS LIKE AN UNWRITTEN RULE OR SOMETHING.

NASIR:---->

***I WILL FILL U IN WHEN I GO THROUGH WITH MY WEDDING***

[shyhem]

I don't really give af**k about weddings until i believe its my turn,and in that case i'm obliged to honour my family values.

 

I define simplicity and as such i will most likely not do anything thats goes head on collision with my faith.Someone of the weddings i have seen lately have become aplace for soliciting sex.In otherwards it ain't the wedding couple who gonna have sex that night,some others will do it illegally courtesy of you.Remember its u'r wedding and u'r the one who brought this pple together and whatever bad they do is on you, since you're the cause of them coming together in the first.And a wedding with such a bad footing definately won't last that long coz it doesn't look like it was blessed by God.

 

Here in my city,somali weddings cost about or close $20000......i'm not so sure how my fellow somalis value money, but that to me sounds a whole lot of money,i mean think of the folks in Africa,i swear that money will change the life 8 kids and their parents for good, and here is some of us burning it off in one night and even worser than that is the fact that 95% of somalis do their weddings on money borrowed either from other somalis or from the bank.

 

The keyword in this weddings is to impress others so folks will talk about how huge the wedding was.I say nothing impressive about u'r wedding when certainly u and u'r new wife are going to live in public housing.

[Rising Phoenix]

hhhm, wedding *looks hard* damn, I cant even see that on the horizon!

 

But yeah, y'all are right. I'm not into Somali weddings, simply because when you've seen one, you've seen them all. Personally, I've never been to one, but the video tapes were more than enough :eek:

 

Well, I havent really thought about my wedding, but for one thing, my sis Nafisa is right, I do NOT want it at night. The ceremony itself should be during the day. I love nature, so it would have to be somewhere outside, preferably in a park, near a lake...or you could travel abroad...and do it in style...say Africa...maybe near a waterfall..I would like a live band, to play somali music as well as western...also a bit of jazz to slow dance to...horse carriages are beautiful, and the dressing would most certainly be formal...its not about turing up in tracks/trainers/caps, like what seems to be happening a lot...from what I've gathered from the video tapes, the faraxs turn up and finish all the bariis that was meant for the bride and groom and the xaliimoos are there to gossip and see if the next xaliimoo looks better than her...such going-ons change the whole purpose of the occasion; its about LOVE, people!

And Shyhem, money aint an issue. If you wanna show the world your love, and you got the cash, then why not do it with the biggest bang and splash that cash?? But I do see your point, where those involved dont have a furnished porperty to sleep in and yet are spending money they dont have.

 

Anyway, the ideas are endless...its just depends on where your tastes run.

 

~harmonyangel~

[LadyMo]

Like Shyhem I believe dat today's type of weddings are not just a waste of money but also a big sin which surely u cud live wivout.

 

Insha Allah when I get married I am not planning to hav a big wedding of any sort. We'll hav our mehr and then we'll do wat any other couple shud do i.e get to kno each other on a different level by goin on a honeymoon for 2 or 3 weeks.

 

We both hav similar ambitions which include travelling the world together but as we're both students finishing off our degrees will be a priority and once we've found a place to settle down Insha Allah (a good job and a house) we'll start building a family (if Allah wills)

 

Its obvious dat money aint de issue as we're Somalis and most of us hav supportive families who are willin to giv a hand & its not like you cant get a loan or sumthin but gettin into debt is one of the main causes of marital breakdown!

 

Now a days u see soo many couples who hav had a fairytale wedding yet after a few months they start arguing and mite even divorce after a few years and wat for..wat did they gain by havin dat weddin....Other than dembi?? Was it worth it??

 

I am a great believer in doin everythin for myself & I do not like takin handouts I as a Muslim always wants to hav de upperhand in a Sekhat situation instead of de bottom (receivin) hand. I dont want my (Me & my future husband's) house to be all ready for us to move into once we finish uni coz its somethin I as an individual want to accomplish its one of my goals and gettin sum1 else to complete it for me wont give me de same satisfaction.

 

When I get married Insha Allah I want to build my own life wiv de man whom I will marry and no1 else! Also marriage is de halfway mark of completing one's religion and how can u complete ur religion by a big sinna feast of a weddin??

[Xafsa]

I agree with shyhem adn exdane.There are alot of wrong things that go on in weddings these days...I don't want to start my new life with a guilty feeling. I would just have the meher to make things official...then I would go on a honeymoon with my new hubby. Why go through all that hassle just so that a bunch of people you hardly know can make fun of your dress and hair?

 

peace and luv.

[MaLikah]

I gotta agree with the sisters- there's definitely too much sin going on in weddings nowadays. Imagine, you going to a mixed wedding. You are only gettin sinned for yourself but the couple having that wedding are getting sinned for everyone else there, as well as themselves. Uhm..i dont think so..I can barely keep up with my sins let alone anyone else's.

 

If I could have any typa wedding possible, I'd probably have an outdoor wedding on a beach by a garden (slight breeze would be perfect-but hey, I cant predict the weather). I think that would be soo butiful. And my ideal number of people attending would include immediate family, extended (but not like my grandmothers cussins step-daughters son lol) and good friends. The smaller, the better.

 

 

__My Two CenTs__

[lol]

Mine would definitely be different.. wanna know how.. I will let my mom run the show. I think its the greatest gift a girl can give her mom by allowing her to choose everything and anything she wants for that night. However if the choice laid with me than I would definitely not have a wedding at all. I think its just waste of money and time. What will you gain from all that fuzz anways...One lame night with women chattering and criticizing about what you should have done?? Or guys dressed like charlie chaplin. I don't think so...

 

I would make lunch for odayaasha and then maybe some casariyo for the women. If they want to dance traditional dances its upto them. I will definitely provide them with drums and sticks.. bbut my hubby and myself would be on a plane to Seychelles or maybe Zanzibar for honeymoon of 3 months. I want to remember my wedding in raaxo way then daal.. so Nasir....that is my dream wedding bro...

[La-y-La]

me, i aint gonna have a big wedding insha'allah if am still alive, cuz all ppl do is just critizise it after it is over.

 

but one thing for sure is ama make sure Dhaanto is danced on ma wedding day, cuz i sure love dhaanto. I learned it a few months ago and we even performed it in ma school, it was fun, oh yeah we also went to Mankato to do it, it was tight. Everytime, i hear the dhaanto song, "culture ka iyo hidaha, something something, kaala ila cayaar" i be dancing to it.After that, I just fell in love with it, i guess that the only thing in ma culture that I really enjoy doing.

Dhant, dhanto, dhanto,lol, dhaanto all the way.

 

asalaamu aleykum.