I wonder if the price is right?

[Jaber]

I spent sometime reading all of these new topics,alot has changed in a short period of time.

 

 

However,onething never seem to change,that being "women's-want"...That ever-expanding list of "wants" and "needs' they always gotta have at any price!!

 

Am not here to point the finger at anyone or involve myself in an endless war between the sexes,but can I get an honest answer from some of u ?(or is it too much to ask 4?)

 

What do the average Canbarro bring to a relationship to make it seccussful?

 

From the Meher money to the toilet papers is Faarx's responsibility,add to it the "new-needs" of the in-laws scattered around the globe!.

 

Poor Faarax,takes on more than he is prepared to handle,and not having a helping hand or a woman make it even tougher to swim in a sea of "wants"!

 

 

Add to it a nagging wife at home,who spends her entire day gossiping about what that other Xaliimo wore to some wedding,and another who's pregnant for the fifth time in two years?!...

 

 

He comes home seeking comfort in her arms,only to be greeted with a sad face who wnats this and wants that without asking where the bling bling will come from!

 

 

Folks,u may think am exaggerating,but this is the daily life activities of a large group of Somali households everywhere.

 

 

So,young-n-fresh,generationX Canbarroyin,what is it u planning on to make it work?

 

Honest ideas r most welcome,swearing and finger pointing r out of the question...

 

 

Gotta run.

 

Later

[Hibo]

Ok.. jaber u want an honest answer.. here it is...

1. we bring food to ur table...(ur ass can't feed itself..except with fast food)

2. we satisfy ur never ending sexual hunger.

3. we bare ur child..carry them for nine months.

4. we manage ur money, clothes,..so that ur stinking ass won't ceebees the rest of the our kind.. ( not u in particular..so don't get )

5.We keep our arms open whenever the rest of the world... slams the door at ur face).

6.We are there, be it poorer or richer.

7. we rescue ur ass when u r out of work, or gotten disabled...

The list is long bro..so never say, what does cambarro bring to the family...she carries more weight than u do.. markaa ilaahey u jeedso oo salaad shukri duko..he made u a man!

 

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Each one of us is a masterpiece in progress

[commonsense]

Well said Hibo.

 

Jaber, any of the things you mentioned does not happen (with our generation anyway)

You're probably comparing us to welfare chasing, good for nothing type of women you deal with.

Women today juggle work, school and family life, without complaining.

Men today expect a woman to pay half of meher, sooryo, yarad....etc at the same time refer to himself as "the breadwinner"

 

What are you doing when your wife is gossiping with other women, you're standing at the Donut shop with your mouth in the air.

 

If your women is a looser, most likely you're too. So stop hating on women and try to be more productive next time.

 

[Hibo]

jaber here is another honest answer

 

first of all we help the wedding expense so is not totaly the farax's responsiblity as you protrayed up there anyway here is a list of what we contribute aside from money

 

1 we spend more time with the kids and is us(women) who discipline the kids and make sure they are raised properly

2 we keep up with all the household work and not to mention still having our own careers

3 we stand behind you evan when we know you are making the worlds stupidest mistake cuz we don't want to let you down "]http://www.somaliaonline.com/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm37.gif[/img]

4 we are the one that give you your bridest ideas cuz you know what they say "every great man there is women behind him"

5 we let you think you running someting when it's us who is actually doing all the work and thinking for you

6 we push you to do your best...cuz we all know the reason man prosper is to impress us lol

the list goes on and on bro...so never understimate the power of xalimoos

peace

 

 

p.s hibo i couldn't put it any better way...we need more women like you to represent us for real

 

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"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams"

--Eleanor Roosevelt

 

[This message has been edited by Indhadeeq (edited 04-19-2002).]

[Hibo]

U go girl Hibo*****Tell him like it is.

Nice try Jaber, I almost cried for Faarax, I mean what a miserable life for him

 

[Hibo]

I think the score is tie for now so 1-1

 

i'll come back to let ya all know.

 

[Baydan]

Jaber

Walaal I cant help but notice how you're always sensitive about little male bashing

what's up with that? you deduced this topic in response to, like you've told us, topics the ladies posted/replied about "women's want" okay so what if the ladies mentioned some not so good characteristics about the male they met..it is only natural there is millions of somali men is crazy to say none of them have faults. Again I'm just wondering why you soo touchy about this I remember ya from somalinet (okay it's past and better forgotten) but somethings about ppl's character never change.. ya cant be spokes-man for somali-male species. Ya another thing..on the other hand I dont want to do too much speculation..lol I have feeling you will take it personal and before we know it..battle field..

 

as always luv to read your inputs you're unique character all in your own..

 

[Hibo]

Here we go again... Im the Ref. gotta be Impatial

 

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("`-''-/").___..--''"`-._

`6_ 6 ) `-. ( ).`-.__.`)

(_Y_.)' ._ ) `._ `. ``-..-'

_..`--'_..-_/ /--'_.' ,'

(il),-`` (li),` ((!.-` S-h-a-q-ss-ii

[Jaber]

Just as I expected some r ready to sweep generalization and lose track of the question in hand,case in point"Commonsense" this woman hadly knows me,yet she so mysteriously found out about my marital status??!!!

 

CommonNoneSense

 

You don't know me that well,even though it's none of ur business am a young Somali bachelor in his mid twenties(soon inshallah) unmarried and on top of that I don't like eating Donuts nor drinking coffee!!.So there falls ur mountain of assumptions to the ground!...A word of advice next time try and stick to the question in hand instead of waging a personal attack on the poster!?

 

 

To the rest of u ladies....Thank u for making sense and also for not taking questions personal.

 

 

Hibo&Indhodeeq

 

You've made ur point and I must agree u women do wonders around the house(some of u do)...However,saying that men r a total failure before they get married is an absurd logic my dear,most of us do take good care of ourselves before marriage without the help of a xaliimo,we wash our cloths and iron them thank u very much...Most single Somali men who share homes do cook for themselves(who else do u think feeds them???)...About men being sexholics,oh please!..We all know u guys crave the stuff too how else can u explain the poster of Shemar Moore on ur wall or on ur girlfriend's???...The only difference is we men r straight forward about our "needs" and believe me they r not many like yours!

 

As I wrote before all men want the same things and we want them on a regular basis,men have and will want three eternal things till we all meet our creater ALLAH,

 

1- Food(the closest way to a man's heart goes through his stomach).

2-Sex(lots of it,it's enough that we r banned from it for a whole damn week every month).

3We want you to leave us the hell alone after preforming the previous two tasks.No nagging no remote-control grabing.

 

 

Baydan

 

Walaalo,I admit to having a bloody past back in the old Somalinet,but again we all change and grow up am no longer that immature jerk some of u seem to always remind me of!!.I came along way from the days when I use to address women with certain qaab daran words,now am more careful in my selection of words.As far as being unique goes I believe we all r unique in some way or another,again most of us appear to be comfortable being followers rather than leading the crew to a save shore.I love each and everyone of u in a brotherly way(I know at times I might show it in a cruel way) but nontheless it's nothing but pure love.

 

 

Honest questions deserve honest answers,I never mean to be mean,I call the shots as I see them.

 

 

 

[Hibo]

Jaber: Although i found your assumptions and generalizations a bit exxagerating, let me try to address your q's. 1stly, some of women you happen to mention do sadly exist in our community. But you fail to understand that they were the first generation to arrive here and some of them did choose to stay home and look after their young ones. Can you for once address the problems that we seem to face in the somali community as a whole without blaming the females soley. I will tell you something, judging from my experience, you hardly see hard working somali men refraining from coffee shops and spending quality time raising their children. You hardly see families setting goals to either make it out here in the diaspora, or to go back home. I believe there is a break down in the family unit. And it starts with both parties. I don't want to point the finger at either gender, but both need to realize what their responsibilities towards their family is. Can you explain the high rate of divorce or single mothers in our community? So let me guess, its all about the women's fault?

But I have hope, our generation is geared towards the right direction. There are few of us enrolling in higher education, because its the only way to make it. And those who make it, will someday inspire others.

Jaber, don't base your judgements about somali women from the forum titles...have you picked up the latest Mademoiselle magazines...same titles!!! Iam sorry for the long essay, but unless there are nomads out there willing to discuss some productive solutions for our community, lets not start this whole war for nothing (we've all seen somalinet). ~*Peace n' Blessings*~

 

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"My Umi says shine your light on the world..." Mos Def

[Hibo]

Jaber, walaalo thats a little dated, mahaa?

 

I mean those comments were true 5 years back and perhabs is still true with the older guys and girls... Laakiin, hada it's a whole different game show.

 

 

I think your 3 point list is aight... I can't imagin any 'cambaro' that would have problem with providing the food and sex.

 

However, the nagging .... hummmmmmmmmmm, Ur gonna have to work for that privilige, ya know. I mean, you can't act like an arrogant so and so and expect respect can ya?

 

All women like to be respected, appreciated and treated like ladies ..... if she is bugging walaalo, Ur doing something wrong!

 

Also, a lot of sisters are now working so Farax isn't necessarily the main breadwinner..... so I think, it would be fair 2 allow the Ladies to question the merchandise also ... if that is absolutley neccessary.

 

2 me marriege is about sharing your life with that one special person .. I don't think it's wise to go into a marriege with negative notions about the opposite sex... cos that is gonna cause problems for you before U begin. I think 'Cambaro' should be given the benefit of the doubt and her individuality should be the main factor for any judgement regarding the marrige .. same rule applies to the Abdi's.

 

 

My advice walaalo, is to make sure that U and your future wifey are on the same chapter prior to the Aroos.

 

 

Hope dat helps,

[Jaber]

Why do I find myself in total agreement with the opposite sex on this issue??!!

 

Very weird indeed!?

 

You all r right about onething,times have changed and youngwomen seem to be more enlightened and self-reliant nowadays,perhaps I exaggerated a little?

 

Oh well,the generationX Canbarooz might be different,one needs to test the waters before swimming and that is exactly where am going with this topic.

 

Don't get carried away and be defensive,explain yourselves like Hibo,Indho and Ameenah did.

[Hibo]

I like to think that wat each partner brings to the marriage is different, yet of equal value.

 

Of course, there r times when one half of the equation shoulders more of the work, eg: the guy working 12 hrs a day, every day or the woman looking after all 4 children, cooking and cleaning all on her own. This can be very difficult 4 both of them....and more times than not, this is wat leads to marriages failing.

 

I believe if things were shared, if there was mutual respect and love, if there was consideration, space and privacy on both sides, then a very good marriage could be built.

 

I think I've gone off the topic....damn, I can't even remember wat the question was. I better stop nattering...lol .

[commonsense]

Jaber you're probably expecting me to attack you, naah not today.

Why don't you post something positive for a change. Enlighten us!

[Jaber]

CommonNoneSense,Nop aint expecting u to attack a fly on the wall,but would love to know how u came up with all of these intelligent discoveries about me,my future-wife and my obsession with coffee(knowing am a tea-preson)and the donuts I don't even eat!??

 

R u Miss.Cleo by any chance?.. u know? the Jamaican psychic on TV??