ijabo Posted January 15, 2004 Warning to all haters : This opinion is not intended to humiliate, anger or sadden Somali men! Its just a reaction to SOME somali guys who have been a bit arrogant in their opinions and observations of women today. Its part opinion, part fact. There are two things that irritate me : the first is how guys think that Somali gals have become more western, over confident, demanding and unprincipled. The second thing is how guys think that any girl who does not wear hijab must be either sleeping around, highly adventerous, easy and or unislamic therefore she would not make a good wife/mother. I know plp have talked about this, in groups, within social circles and etc, and i know that a few guys admit these days that there is nothing wrong with being over confident or whatever, but i think that this issue has not fully passed. Its a silent problem in that plp have not completely discussed this issue honestly and that is why i want to get this issue addressed once and for all. Concerning the first issue, i would like to state that it is a great tragedy that our guys are blaming westernisation and personal weakness ( on the part of somali ladies) for girls these days being more demanding and loud. This must be nothing but a conspiracy waged by insecure, egotistical,woman-bashing somali men. Why and How you ask? Culturally speaking Somali women have always been hard working, strong-minded,clever people since the begining of time. Its baiscally in their blood and language. In Somali literature and music and poetty as well as in our great history, the man is always posed as being in awe and admiration of the Somali woman. He is always the one that is being led by her and she is posed as being in control of his entire being and sitaution. This also applies to our courting and romancing tradition. Ask your great grand farther, and his farther and so on, they will tell you the same thing. Our women are beautiful, physically and mentally strong and charismatic plp and that is why they are too confident. They have many reason to be. But that is down to culture, NOT western influences. It may seem to you guys that the somali ladies of today are too confident in a western way, but that is not neccessarily a bad thing, and it does not mean they are becoming more western. What it means is that they are expressing their cultural self independence in the enviroment they were raised in.Thats only natural and logical. Still that same charisma is there and is only being transalted in different ways now due the fact that our sisters are all around the world, and not in Somalia. The second thing is that plp should never judge others at face value. Just becasue a girl does not wear hijab does not mean you could walk all over her. Religion, i believe, is a private matter. I have heard of (and seen a few) many girls who wear hijab, jilbab and all that and are hookers and users by night. So it is really unwise to make sweeping generalisations about women with no hijab, u never know whats in her heart. I bet there are plenty of gals out there who dont dress unislamically but dream to be great teachers and mothers. In conlusion, it is my personal wish that Somali men should just stop hating on their sisters and being ashamed of them. Sure we have somali hookers but what about also the lazy chad -chewing guys, what about them? Are they not a problem too? It is so ironic because the Somali woman of today are so much better, more hard-working and educated than they were 50 years ago. You guys should be even more appreciative of us. My mother is highly educated woman, majored in a Economics, and worked as a director of the Ministry of Finance before the war, she had a car and a villa before she met my dad. those days women had help in child bearing, they had maides all over. Now, in this day and age ,its like waking up at 5.00 am in the morining, breast feeding/feeding the children and the hsuband , dropping the kids off and going to work @ 9.00. Come back at aroung four to do the same breast feeding and feeding routines, cooking for the husband and manage to get about 5 hours sleep atleast for the next day Could you imagine investing your emotional and physical being to every body in the house and still keep a good 9-5 job career ? A man could never do that, he was not made for that. But its getting harder for us these days and we are stronger than ever, stronger than any somali man will ever be in a battlefield. The bottom line, we are better than you, more educated than you, stronger than you , more patient than you. So dont hate us , blame us, patronize us, demean us and belittle us to a few alcohol drinking girls that you saw in last weeks rewayad at stratford! There are many others out there which you could only dream to be like! Thank you nOTE: I did not bring up the hijaab issue cos i dont wear one - because i do wear one. I have been living in london for the past 14 years and there was not one day i took my headscarf of. Its a personal choice. And i am 22 years of age, student of economics at university in London, 2nd yr, and suprise suprise i aint fish and chips and will vehemently (and politely) react to anybody who says i am. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
N.O.R.F Posted January 15, 2004 Our women are beautiful My sentiments exactly Sister i understand where yr coming from, this is a problem in our community where the women are taking up the role of Wife and Husband at the same time due to '****** ' men not doing what they are supposed to ie respect their wife/sistas etc, but plz do me a favour,dont put us all in the same boat. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ijabo Posted January 15, 2004 assuming that ur a guy, you point about putting you all in the same boat, perhaps u think that i believe this way about all Somali guys, well the response to that is no, this is why i said to SOME SOMALI GUYS. OK! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
N.O.R.F Posted January 15, 2004 ^^^lol, ok, must have missed that , it was a long one,,,,,,, Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Macalin Posted January 15, 2004 and suprise suprise i aint fish and chips and will vehemently (and politely) react to anybody who says i am ...... What the hekk is Fish and CHIPS?...i know its a type of food enjoyed by the brits but what does economics,xijaab and u being 22yrs OLD?...is it some kind of slang? please kindly elaborate Sincerely confused signed Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miriam1 Posted January 15, 2004 ^^fish and chips are what the somalis over at britland call kids who are either born or brought up in the country Arent kids in the Us and Canada called YoYo's..i am not exactly sure. Peace..and havent entirely finished reading ur post ijabo but its interesting enough for me to come back ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Baashi Posted January 15, 2004 Ijabo, Westernized! what does that mean? Do u think Hijab is an option for Muslim women? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jewel Posted January 15, 2004 very nice and insightful article Ijabo, bravo to u. I was actually thinking about this a few days ago and im glad u raised this issue here. hope all u guys read it in an open minded fashion, rather than just jumping down her throat or saying ur not one of the guys she's mentioning. Maybe u are not, but im sure one of ur boys is, so take this message and enlighten ur fellow men, maybe around the khad table? Too often, ppl post here to bash women, criticise them when in reality some men in our society cannot point the finger when the woman has always been the one with more responsibiliies on her shoulders. peace Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Haaruun Posted January 15, 2004 Ijabo even tho' I blv ur mom is well educated, again remember to work for Siyad's goverment or to hold a high rank position didn't need no education..It was about Who u knew not what u knew....Good1 tho, u didn't generilzed all men..but this matter goes for both men and women Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sophist Posted January 15, 2004 Boys you have to write another thread --- perhaps titled : In defence of the indefencable Somali MEN!!! Ijabo, I like that sister. The sheer force of which you have delivered your msg; what happened to my fellow brothers who hold some of the elleged ideas. If no one bothers to defend their beleives I shall become their Barister and vow to refute those alegation that hold no water--- devil's advocate. I will give you couple hours! Markey arkaan gabar articulate ah ayeey sidii qooleydii kala cararaan! Rag l'aan aa ka dhacdey meeshaan. Thus Spake I Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Baashi Posted January 15, 2004 ^ What a hero! Ijabo's frustration is evident in that long post...once she defines this term "westernization" that arouses this kind of passion then and only then we would be in a position to understand where she is going with this. There is no haters in this site Hate is strong word to use. There is difference of opinions...and I trust there is room for that in this site. Plz don't sideline my little tiny insignificant inquiry all the ladies who share ijabo's sentiment r wlc to enlighten me on this one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar Posted January 15, 2004 Salaan... Originally posted by ijabo: So dont hate us , blame us, patronize us, demean us and belittle us to a few alcohol drinking girls that you saw in last weeks rewayad at stratford! Caasho that drinks! Whoa! :eek: I thought those half-nuudo were enough to make me sad to see, but, but, but Caasho aaskuluusto umbaryaako eh?? Woow, that is ii koow, walaashiis. Caasho jaad cuneyso aa qaatir bilaah ka joognay mid Vodka ka tuureyso oo alaalax eh hadee imaatay aduun xaalkiis ahaa. P.S.: I never understand those competitive "gender" wars on the Internet. How can I be against or depreciate or bemean a public club that has members of my own mother, sisters, eedo, habaryariyaal, ilmo abti, ilmo adeer, ayeeyo...I just don't understand. Perhaps this whole "war" had been started by a frustrated Jaamac who was lagu soo daadiye one night and then writing his whole disgruntlement ordeal on the net. __________________ Macsalaama. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mis_Nasima Posted January 15, 2004 Perhaps this whole "war" had been started by a frustrated Jaamac who was lagu soo daadiye one night and then writing his whole disgruntlement ordeal on the net. looooool i so agree with that, ijabo sis i blve the only Somali men who talk too much about how Somali women are this and that are those who can't get any somali women therefore they end up hating somali women full stop. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Business_Man Posted January 16, 2004 Although I agree with some of your points, let me tell you that you have the uneducated impression of Somali Men. IJABO Could you imagine investing your emotional and physical being to every body in the house and still keep a good 9-5 job career ? A man could never do that, he was not made for that. Some men do that like my father so dont put all the Somali men in one category! :mad: :mad: My mother is highly educated woman, majored in a Economics, and worked as a director of the Ministry of Finance before the war, she had a car and a villa before she met my dad. those days women had help in child bearing, they had maides all over. Alot of women worked for Siyaad Baree. My mother was also a Civil Servant but that is history now and should be forgotten because it is painful to remember how many people died during his era. Alot of my relatives were killed by him simply for being educated!!! :mad: In conlusion, it is my personal wish that Somali men should just stop hating on their sisters and being ashamed of them. I never ever ever heard of a Somali man being ashamed of his nomad queens!. Again, you are refering to Merfish dealers! :eek: The bottom line, we are better than you, more educated than you, stronger than you , more patient than you. So dont hate us , blame us, patronize us, demean us and belittle us to a few alcohol drinking girls that you saw in last weeks rewayad at stratford! There are many others out there which you could only dream to be like! Why you behaving like a hater!. You need to take a chill pill!. Haarun: Ijabo even tho' I blv ur mom is well educated, again remember to work for Siyad's goverment or to hold a high rank position didn't need no education.. ....Siyaad gave top jobs to people who were educated regardless of tribe!. It was towards the end when he became nasty because he wanted to stay in power until he died!!!. The views above are mine alone so feel free to express your views to my comments!. Peace. Cont. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ijabo Posted January 16, 2004 Well Well i never really thaught plp would respond to my post so well - thank u - i guess im new to this whole forum thing. Thanks again. Could i just say that my message was targeted at SOME guys that are inclined to think the way i that i was opposing. And u really cant tell me that there are'nt guys out there who think like that - cos i have known them SO IT WAS TO JUST SOME GUYS. I know plenty of others who are so much better than that. I aint no feminist either - and i dont hate the Somali men. Hate is definitely a strong word that i never use , not even with family or friends. So i really hope that the nice guys in here dont think im eating on them - cos thats not right and i would never do that. Yes i admit that it is true that there are guys these days who do what mothers do , i appreciate that but u gotta be honest - thats rare in our culture - but ur right - there are men out there who do that. Thats a fair comment but i never really said that there were'nt guys like that so anywayz. Again this aint a bash on Somali guys in general - just the ones that are holding serious misconceptions about the gals these days. Peace to u all Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
