Wedding Season!

[Bambina]

Salam ,

 

Garab tuujiye , what wouldnt I be surprised to read your reply? Like always you like to come to Qac Qaac's rescue , both true partners in crimes , one is Dr Jekyll and the other Mister Hyde , I see .To be honest the fact that you think alike scares me a little bit

 

Well tuujiye , I've never guessed that feminism which mainly focuses on women's rights in the society was a bunch of crap to you.I do understand you , after all what would some men like you care about women?

 

But you said feminism is haraam and bad , so I challenge you , prove me the opposite brother.

[Qac Qaac]

all the things we said to u, all these time was proves, and it is no point proving it to u, coz u'll just argue about it. how about we just leave it at that....Bombina...

 

but i am sorry sis, but the 5 questions u wrote up there, are not what feminism stand for.. as i said, that is what they tell the girls.. to emanicipate u guys, as if u guys were in jail before.. and just destroy u guys... devorce is high among muslim ppl now ask any local imam he will tell u, why because we are adapting to feminist way.. and we are suffering...

 

Bombina i always thought u were better than this, to actually defend a movement, that is made by a non-believer to give u guys right... i am not against women getting rights...but i want the men, women, trees, environment, animals.. everything to get their rights.... and only islam does give everything their own rights...

 

what u gave about feminist has nothing to do with the actual movement's objective... to get the same pay... i don't think men are against that... yee idinka waalin gabdhoo these movements, and yee idin dhigin wada nin la'aan this movement ee ka hara.. my advice....

 

p.s. bombina no name calling, just stick with the topic...

[Bambina]

Salam ,

 

Again you failed to notice the positive sides of feminism and I think you're doing it on purpose just to prove yourself that what you say is right. And since you mentionned that you did some research , Im interested to know in what book or website did you get your definitions.Cuz Im pretty sure the way you portray feminists doesnt exist anywhere.

 

And yes as for the rise of divorce , it might be due to men as well to women. Unlike you I dont only use feminism to explain the rise of divorce in muslim communities it might be adultery and lack of responsabilities of both gender or even physical or emotionnal abuses.

 

And since you have enough knowledge of Islam Im sure our religion preaches equality between men and women ,rights that feminists preach too and dont say the opposite. And as for calling feminists non-believers I think you meant non-muslims because a non-believer is someone who doesnt believe in God and associate partners with God ,and does not believe in the messengers of God. So did you mean non-muslims or atheists? I do believe atheism is not preached by feminists in case this is was you meant.

 

So brother you can ignore my response or answer by coming up with some real facts because you're the one who's getting all emotionnal here.This will be the last time I reply to your posts concerning feminism and if you want to have the last word so be it , I wont refuse you this satisfaction , since its one of your hobbies.Salam.

[Valenteenah.]

Bambina,

 

Sweetheart, I wouldn't waste my breath if I were you. The feminist discussion has been exhausted in other threads with no positive outcome. Let it go sis...No point in flogging a dead horse.

 

QQ,

 

So, whenever Darman posts, its because he wants to hook up with a SOL sista eh? First it was OG-girl, then DA, who's next? Anagaa wax aragnay... *Shakes head*

 

 

Regarding the topic;

 

There's too much pressure put on young girls to get married these days. Often to the point that they would marry anything and ultimately end up being one of those dreaded 'single mothers'.. The number of very young single or separated mothers (in their early 20s) is rising fast, which is so sad. They dont have much support, no-one gives a shit about them (being a divorcee is still stigmatised...even a divorced guy wouldn't want to marry a divorced woman). Despite all this, however, we still continue to advocate for girls to marry at a young age. So we can end up with even more single mothers? So we can have more juvenile delinquents from broken families, who grow up to be irresponsible and unproductive members of society? WoW...what a future we have ahead of us.

 

My position is fairly simple...everyone (male or female) should complete their formal education, or gain some professional skills at the very least, before they attempt to get married in order to provide well for their families (notice the emphasis placed on 'well'...relying on council housing and benefits does not apply).

 

Marry at 25 or onwards...where one is still young, but with more maturity, capability and education. What's wrong with that? eh? Answer me damn you!

 

Having said that, we are all destined for different things, therefore I dont think it really matters at what age one gets married. As a hundred ppl already said, wixii kuu qoran waad heleysaa, God willing.

 

Raxmah, Sweetie, I feel for you walaahi. But at least your relatives care. LoL...my relatives have never approached the subject with me, which is a little mystifying. The only thing they ever question me on is school, 'have u finished ur degree? what about your masters? why dont u apply for a job with this or that organisation?'.

 

Being a geek has some advantages after all. I suspect they all think I'll never get married.

 

SomeAlein...make space for this potential gumeys.

[Qac Qaac]

Bombina, u told me to prove it, and as i just said, u didn't accepted so u know what u r right... mac salaama..

 

Barwaaqo... read what the guy said. don't just talk out of nothing...

 

p.s. about the difference between non-believer, and a non-muslim i let u say it... i don't need anymore arguement with anyone, anymore.

[LuCkY]

Lol@YaLL...*UnbeLievabLe*

 

GUMAYS=OWL

[Lake Da agony]

.

[Qac Qaac]

Lucky walaahi waad dhibadantahay, maxaa usoo faagtay topickaan. huh. in aad wax biloowdid again hayye. dhibleey.

[LuCkY]

Excuse Me...I dont know what u are taLking about here.

[Qac Qaac]

excuse me, kulahaa ma dhaga la'ahay... excuse u.. aan ku dhahay adiga yariisay, koolba aariyo yee kugu dhicin, ee is qari.

[SomeAlien]

Where's the Washing Machine?

by Talal Sarwani

 

There's a very interesting worldwide phenomena taking place among the

Muslim

youth of today. Everyone's favorite bit of Sunnah has become the advice

of

the Prophet(SA'AS) to get married asap. Alhamdulillah, the wisdom of

that

advice is nothing short of Divine, but the abuse of that advice is

causing

much trouble in the Ummah today. That trouble has manifested itself

into the

most hated of what is Halal: Talaq (Divorce). Kids are getting married

right

and left, lost in some romanticized version of what married life seems

to be

about, and the second they find themselves stuck in a mud of

responsiblity,

it's time to flip out the cell phone and SMS your significant other:

 

I divorce you

I divorce you

I divorce you

 

Indeed, it is a time of cowards.

So I set out to investigate what was causing this desperate desire for

the

Great Hookup. What did I find? Were the beards really growin and the

brows

left un-threaded? Were the kufis being worn and the hijabs being

tightened?

Was the thawb and the 'abaya truly being donned? Was the scent of 'oud

aromafying the surroundings? Read on, brothers and sisters, read on for

the

truth....

 

The number one danger towards the one who is single, is to be around

those

who have newly become doubles. It's been refferred to in the past as

The

Fever. The Fever is not just the feeling that one needs to get hitched,

it's

the malady that causes such feelings simply from having attended the

hitching ceremonies of all-too-many people in an all-too-short amount

of

time. For proof of the existence of this syndrome, please go up to any

brother (Though I claim to know their perspective as well, out of

respect, I

shall take the fifth as far as sisters are concerned) during the

summer,

especially during this Summer of a Thousand Weddings. You'll hear the

usual

talk of empty hearts needing companionship, of guys swooning over she

who

looked back and if you're around one after someone else's wedding, a

feeling

of slight dejection rather than complete happiness for his just

betrothed

brother and sister. The Fever is a powerful thing, taking over the life

of

he or she who is stung by it, causing him or her to find themselves

raising

their hands to Allah every night, asking for either the filling of

their

empty hearts or at the very least a respite from their feelings. So,

brothas

and sistas, if you find yourself in this most unwanted predicament, the

prescription is as follows:

Step 1: Lower your gaze

Step 2: Pray for the feeling to go away

Step 3: Lower your gaze

Step 4: Don't talk to others about your predicament (you'll realize

they're

in the same hole, and then the both of you will wallow in each others

misery)

Step 5: Lower your gaze

Rinse. Spit. Repeat.

InshaAllah The Fever should soon subside and all will be back to

normal.

HOWEVER, say the ol' heart sparks at the just barely-sighted-glance of

a

certain someone, then be sure to follow the following steps. Now, keep

in

mind this is the ONLY accpetable follow-up to that "cue the chorus"

moment.

Consider this your final warning not to join certain committees of

certain

organizations, "accidentally" finding certain someones sitting there.

BONUS:

Step 6: ISTIKHARA TIME!!!!!!!!

Possible Step 7 for Brothers: Be a Man. Call her parents.

Possible Step 7 for Sisters: Just sit there all coy and shy (I keed, I

keed).

This prescription is signed and endorsed by Shayk (of the Polaroid

Picture

kind) Ishq ibn Al-Hubbatani, so you better believe it works.

 

There is however a lot more that contributes to the I Think I Love You,

Marry Me syndrome plaguing the Ummah today. The majority of these

causes

rests in the realm of what a brother once said: "Blame it on the Deen".

 

The Romantic Islam

 

As a preface to what follows, let me say that this topic includes far

more

than I can write about in this space, so I'm not gonna cover

anything... I

mean everything. There's literally an incredible amount of things that

fall

into The Romantic Islam, but I'll just touch upon these two of

varyingextremes, to give you just a taste of what I mean.

I'm using the word romantic not in the sense of an ideal, but in the

plain

old Qais/Majnu/Romeo and their Lailas/Juliet sense. These are those

bits

(according to the very doubtable research done for this) of Islam that

when

people gain knowledge of them, at a certain time of their lives, in

that

certain state of mind, all havoc lets loose, the hearts opens up in

need,

and the shaitaan is called in for playtime.

 

You... complete... me...

When Tom Cruise uttered those words to his love in Jerry McGuire, the

heart

of every woman in movies theaters around the world let out a collective

sigh. If only they knew what Muslimahs had already known for centuries,

or

at least what they did, once, know. I'm referring to the oft-repeated

hadith

of the Lone Hearted:

Narrated by Anas, who reported that the Prophet(SA'AS) said:

When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion...

We are the creations of a Creator who knows our innards better than we

know

our names, so when we experience this wisdom that has been passed down

to

us, our hearts yell: SUBHANALLAH!!! I NEED to get married. Let's just

face

it, this hadith makes everyone feel good about things, and is among the

greatest proliferators of Wandering Heart technology. Do note the

",,,",

because you rarely ever hear the rest of the hadith:

so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half.

'Nuff said, yo. Fo schizzle.

 

Sweet Nothings

Ahem, the following is a very interesting tidbit. It's something I

gleaned

from a brother in whom the desire to be wed was knawing at him from the

inside. We were in a room with just pillows on the floor to chill on.

It of

course happened to be a time of someone else's wedding, which is why I

just

sat relaxing after a long night of partying with the

*cough*aunties*cough*.

So, this brother comes up to me, with a copy of Sahih Bukhari of all

things,

and he prompts me to read:

Volume 2, Book 21, Number 258:

Narrated 'Aisha :

After offering the Sunna of the Fajr prayer, the Prophet used to talk

to me,

if I happen to be awake; otherwise he would lie down till the Iqama

call was

proclaimed (for the Fajr prayer).

 

"Alright", I thought, "so?". He plopped himself down onto the floor,

and

with a bleary-eyed look, said: "Wouldn't it be amazing to have someone

to

talk to when you walk up a little early for Fajr?". Let's just say he

didn't

take too kindly at me falling over from laughter nor my suggestion that

he

could always give me a call anytime he feels lonely at that hour. If

you're

in this state. brothers and sisters, please follow the prescription

given to

you above, and inshaAllah spare the rest of us from stomach-hurting

hilarity.

 

The End of This

Alas, all great things come to an end, as must this column. I just

barely

touched upon what I really wanted to talk about, but my mind is not in

a

state of organization, so I leave you with this little conclusion.

Realize

that marriage isn't a joke or little fling you go through. It's a

responsibility, where the third party in the trust between a husband

and

wife is Allah. All this talk of love and all that jazz is a

distraction, so

pay little attention to it. There is ONE person for whom you are meant,

inshaAllah, so take care of your personal half of your deen, and Allah

will

provide you with the best of companionship. Take the halaal way, and

you'll

feel it yourself. The second the Nikah is done, the man and woman are

infused with a feeling of rahmah towards each other granted to them by

Allah. It's akin to that sudden mercy felt by one who has just become a

parent. It's not something you can understand beforehand. There's lots

of

things in Islam that stir the hearts, but they are there to convince

you of

the correctness of the Straight Path. Don't let the shaitaan lead you

astray

when he discovers the state of your heart and mind. Seek refuge and

establish trust in Allah, for that is the only way to keep yourself on

the

Sirat-Al-Mustaqeem. Someone once questioned the hurried rush to

marriage

seen in the Ummah, and couldn't understand how they took that step when

they

didn't even have a way of supporting a family. "When you're capable of

getting her the washing machine, then you're ready to begin a life

together".

So, I humbly bow out, going back to saving a little every two weeks, so

that

I can inshaAllah buy whatever washing machine her heart desires

 

http://www.hidayaonline.com/archives/000033.html

[Arwa]

^^ Long but Intresting

 

[Paragon]

Originally by nur:

 

My point is education makes us more analytical to the point we over analyse any option out till one day we realize that we are reached

paralysis by analysis

, the famous cliche.

Lol. I have been saying this for sometime. Good to hear it again .