Wedding Season!

[Rahima]

Folks,

 

Let's get a few things straight. Whilst we all agree that it is the teachings of Islam that we all get married at a young age (all relative really), it is not always possible- especially for us sisters. Whereas you men can continue your education and have a family, for us it usually comes down to one or the other and personally the way I see it is, why forsake my education when I can still get married after I have completed it. If you think about it, you can't exactly get married and continue your studies (without a great deal of hardship). I can't ever contemplate the thought of having my children been taken care of someone else while I attend school (except my mother, but she too has a life and it would be unfair of me to ask her to raise my children). And as for not having children at the beginning, we all know contraception would be xaraam in this situation.

 

I see no problem in getting my degree and then finishing off half of my diin. Is there something wrong in getting married at 22? Or 23? Or 25? I think not! So boys, you do as you wish, but please for the love of God don't try and condition us towards your ways of reasoning for we are not the same. Believe you me, a decent Allah-abiding, well-educated respectful sister would have no problems in getting married. But yes, I concur and am not contradicting the established Sunnah, it is always best to tie the knot young-BUT it's not always possible.

 

The best way to handle an impressive proposal before you have completed your studies, is just to tell him frankly, if his willing to wait till you finish your studies then he can wait, if not then I wish you all the best brother, but right now I have priorities.

 

 

and our common Faaraxs are disadvantaged to be less educated than sisters of the same age group, this leads to a problem I have addressed before, the imbalance of eduacted sisters in comparison with Camel boys who may not earn the interest of sophisticated sisters with College education

Nur akhi, walaahi this is so true! But whose fault is that? Personally I feel the blame lies with the brothers who do not step up to the plate. Anyway, the solution to this is to get married to a brother who has been taught Islamic knowledge for regardless of whether or not they have received secular knowledge they are mashallah amazingly intelligent and conduct themselves in the best of manners.

 

Raxmah, don't stress sister , this was all written for you and will only happen by the will of Allah. Having said that, I advise you to not let a good brother go simply because you want to complete your studies (I used to have that thinking and let's just say a chance too good to pass by came up and I learnt to compromise). And as for your family, i make ducaa for you that they take it easy on you.

[Sophist]

Nur,

 

I concur brother. Educated women should marry less educated boys and vice versa. This will create a balance in our society--- I wish I could follow this advice myself (I just shot myself on the foot.

 

Also

 

Ibnu Taymiyah never got married

 

and Imam Ahmed Ibnu Hambal got hitched at 40.

 

Rahima,

 

Sister, where did you get the idea conraceptive being Haraam? There was Ictizaal at the time of the Sahaba and this was common practice. Never did the Prophet denounce this-- I am sure Nur will correct me.

[Raxmah]

Nur

Walaal I’m dumb enough to pass by a good Muslim brother whether he has a paper to show if he is educated or not, but these disadvantage guys you are talking about we all are on the same boat—we are struggling to make something of ourselves, it wouldn’t hurt for some of my Somali brothers to leave the malls and coffee shops—and get some education allah willing so they can provide better care for their future family. No matter how sophisticated or educated I’m – marrying a camel boy won't kill me, provided that he's good muslim and able to take care of a family.

 

X

It would be turn of the century for most Somali guys to encourage a female to finish their education.

 

Tamina

Qac Qacc is the lawyer of sol!

 

Rahima

Agree with u 110%

[Rahima]

Sophist,

Sister, where did you get the idea conraceptive being Haraam? There was Ictizaal at the time of the Sahaba and this was common practice. Never did the Prophet denounce this-- I am sure Nur will correct me.

True akhi, i was actually referring to the modern forms of contraception, but nonetheless correct me if I'm wrong, but is it not so that contraception can not be used except for one of a few reasons (e.g. to space out the children-which is also under much debate, illness etc) and not just because a couple wishes to delay having a child (the first child). I was always under the impression, that wishing to complete your studies was not a viable reason. Walaahu aclum.

[Qac Qaac]

Exactly why does Darman make u sick? Cuz he challenged a male in this forum? Big blow to the anti-feminists soo maaaha

Hey Tamina lol, are u leaning towards feminin side... and no it is not a big blow to my anti feminist, i just think the brother Darman is trying to get with DA.. that's why i said he makes me sick... sorry darman. i am just making a pt to my sister here Tamina.

 

Rahma no i am not lowyer in here, but i just felt u made the brother comment into something else... where he just said harmless thing... subxanallah.. biyo qaboow cabba kuligiin including u Tamina.

[OG_Girl]

i just think the brother Darman is trying to get with DA.. that's why i said he makes me sick... sorry darman

hmm, Isn't history repeating itself or as we say "ma ashbahal yoom bel bare7ah"!!

 

Just wondering when some guys stop insulting girls in SOL!.

 

Salam

[Reality Check]

Only simple minded folks would assume others post in order to hook up.

 

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[Bambina]

DA , you have my full support sista , keep on posting and state your opinions whether it hurts some or not . :cool:

[OG_Girl]

Bambina, r u faminist by chance...lol joking

I know he will say that to u

 

salam

[Reality Check]

^ bambina, that is so sweet sister! Thanks.

 

Og, Its ok, we are expanding the feminist army..and there are room for more

[Qac Qaac]

Only simple minded folks would assume others post in order to hook up.

DA, coming it from you... is funny. coz i was actually amazed with Darman, to want that. and i give him lot of respect for handling u... loooool.

 

OG Girl, i stop talking to the teen agers....

 

Bombina what's the need to tell, an opinionated person with no facts to keep posting his/her opinions.. they will do it anyways...

 

Og, jiq haku ahaato, Bombina is not a feminist coz i saw her other postings... even u is not a feminist OG.. is just u too young that's all...

[Bambina]

Salam Alaykum ,

 

Dear Qac Qaac , you failed to understand what a feminist is , you keep throwing this adjective to DA or to her supporters as if they were some parasites , you need to learn what are the positive side of feminism instead of looking for the negative points.

 

As for advising me about DA ,unlike you I truly believe she posts topics because she has a personnality , no doubts about that.

 

I had a lot of respect for you Qac Qaac and I was always looking forward to your posts , but I sadly noticed that you dont respect people who dont agree with you and this is not an islamic attitude.You call OG_Girl an immature , you call DA a feminist or a devil ,here's a simple solution ,just avoid replying to her posts if you dont like her that much ,lets not even talk about Darman that you like to put down .

 

Your "knows it all" attitude , shows your lack of respect and sensitivity and Im surprised that most of the SOL community doesnt remark it instead of focusing on DA.And if to you a feminist has to be your enemy , so be it , cuz Im proud to be one.

 

At last but not the least , Im sorry that this wedding topic turned to an online WWF challenge ,cuz that wasnt my attention.

[Qac Qaac]

you failed to understand what a feminist is

So u know, tell us what it means...

 

I like your postings too, and i still like it, even if u call your self a proud feminst, i just assume u don't know what they are... u said look at the positive things they have, none. the positive they show u is propaganda and just illusions, the true objective of the group is only to break family values.. once u break each person's value they have no power but to listen to the TV... and all this u see is from this cause...

 

anyways i wouldn't even go to why u called urself a proud feminist but i believe u r smart person, and u should do more research on them... instead of just making a naive and just emotional response on this issue...

 

i called no one names sis.... and u failed to see what they called me b4. which i don't really care if u see it or not. i know what they said to me, and i am not here to look good in front of the ppl and say something else in privates like some ppl here already called me dog... but then again i would just assume u didn't see that. and i would give u 72 excuses... u should do the same.. next time.

[Bambina]

Salam ,

 

Qac Qaac brother , maybe I do not get your definition of a feminist, after all we are different people and I respect that. But why look for a more complicated definition of a feminist when you can simply admit that a feminist is just a woman who cares first about women's rights? I dont believe any feminist would like to destroy family values , unless she is crazy.

 

Perhaps you referring to feminists who dont want to be reduced to the role of mothers and do not want to depend on men.Im sorry that you only stick with this image.

 

If any woman in the SOL is able to reply to these questions , they will definitly know what values they stand for ,I thought some quotes might make you understand and yes I did some research, thanks to your advice Qac Qaac.

 

Quotes:

1-Do you think men and women have equal talents, abilities and potentials?

Then you are a feminist.

 

2-Do you think men and women should receive equal pay for equal work?

Then you are a feminist.

 

3-Do you think women who spend their lives making a home for their families deserve respect for the job they are doing?

Then you are a feminist.

 

4-You're a feminist if you favor equal opportunities, equal responsibilities, and equal treatment for men and women.

 

5-You are a feminist if you think promotions in business should be based on talent and not on gender.

 

So Qac Qaac , you might wonder why Im bothering myself to explain to you what is feminism? Because I hope you might change and reconsider your thoughts about feminists. My job is done , let me know what you think about this.

[Tuujiye]

Salaaama CAleykuuuum ciyaal kuni kuni..how y'all doing ..

 

I see we're still talking about this feminist crap, when does it stooooooooooooop.....feminism is haram .

 

So for y'all to call each other a feminst is BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD..so stop it please...

 

If you don't think that feminism is haram, y'all just let me know because I will prove it to you..

 

Any ways qac'qaac these girls don't like U and thats why they will never understand your point man..Is like talking to a rock. when someone doesn't like you, no matter what you say, they will have something negative thing to respond with..

 

waraa dhagax bax biyo katuuji, walaahi gacantaa kugu xanuuneyso. the more aa ayaga la sii hadashaid the more aaba atention siineysid..xarash u xoor adoomoo....

 

Ileeheey qalbiga saliid naar ha idiinku tuujiyo aaaaaaamiiiiiiiiiiino dhaha...

 

So for the last time Qac'qaac