Wedding Season!

[Raxmah]

My whole family is obsessed about my age (any girl :mad: over 18 is too old and should be married) and the fact that I’m not married yet drives them crazy.

 

2 of my younger cousins are getting married-this summer and my mom is on my case about how all my younger cousins and sisters got married before they were 20. (They don’t seem to understand I’m not them, and we have different priorities).

 

Every time I go to a wedding I can’t talk to my aunts without being bothered with the comments “are you waiting to be 30” my answer nop am waiting until am 99 :rolleyes: or “Don’t you think you are getting too old”. yeah so are you.

 

I can't seem to enjoy a wedding without getting lectured.

 

Am I the only one in this sad predicament? How do you deal with it – without disappointing your parents?

[Reality Check]

Raxmah,

 

Girl, you have it rough. I can't say the same thing happens to me, as most of my family members got married in their late 20s. Just tell them you will get married when the opportunity presents itself and that right now its not THE TIME.

 

Gosh, I wonder how you can get married younger than 20. They are still babies !!!

[Senora]

LOL...my mom use to be like this..even though she use to tell me that she was only playing, i think deep down inside she meant it!..My mom got married real young..and had me young too....and by the time i was 16 she was nagging me about how i needed to get married... :eek: ..

 

i use to really get upset..i hated that..i use to say things like, i dont need to get married, and i dont need a man..i'll just be a famous lawyer, and adopt children,lol.....i miss the good ol' days....naaaw, im glad i got over that mentality,....but once in a while, she still slips it in by teling me..you know at your age, i was married, had you, and i was working full time... my mom, gosh I luve her, but what kidder!

 

anyways, well now, she doesn't bug me as much abt it ....she just buys me these dishes&Pots that she says she will give to me as a wedding gift...

[Iffah]

It seems like the wedding fever is starting again along with those annoying questions from women relatives and strangers alike :rolleyes:

 

Raxmah,

Many girls can relate with you, believe me. I guess the only thing you can do is to remind them that wixii calaf u leedahay waad helaysaa...whenever that time may come.

[pearl]

raxmah...miskiin....u need to lighten up a bit...joke about it....everytime they ask when ur getting married....just reply...go to somali and find a true geelgire...or better yet when there is wedding and they say "ur next, ur next"....and hopefully with weddings comes funerals and that when u get everyone and say to them "ur next, ur next"....

[Rokko]

LOL@ "wedding season"..It reminds of this place i'm living..where so many weddings r taking place here..as weather gets nicer na'mean.

 

Raxma, I feel ya but then wonder how come guys dont' get that type of push when it comes to wedding...?shoot am sure some wouldnt' mind getting hook with nice gal..right?

 

P.S...if da pressure gets too much, get a fake one..to get'em off ur shoulder.lol. VOLUNTEERS NEEDED!

[x_quizit]

Actually Mobb,I know of a couple of guys who are pressured into marriage by their parents,so its not as much as girls only these days, guys are feeling the heat too.

 

Raxmah,I understand ur situation, many parents pressure their kids into marriage b/c sometimes, they are afraid their son or daughter will stray and behave in an un-islamic way,or some parents compete with others in society, to see who's kid is married off first....they don't realize that everyone has a pre-set time,and only God knows if marriage is even in our future.

 

Personally, I've never had the "when are u getting married" talk...mainly b/c our whole family,immediate and extended, believe in education before marriage...and having to bring something into the marriage b4 the big committment...i've had nosey neighbors/family friends bringing offers to my mom,saying once ur daughter is done school...i have so and so for her...i even saw pictures of my suitors...lord help them...

[- Femme -]

Get married as early as possible, that's the sunnah of the Prophet.

[Qac Qaac]

listen to your parents as they are more exprienced then u r, as they know what u about go through. good advice from them get married, all your cousins got married what u waiting for....

 

or else let the biological clock go tik tik tik... and still soo taagnood. oo hadhoow halaguu qaraabtee.

[LuCkY]

Waraa what in the bLue heLL is that...bioLogicaL cLock tick tocking?Cant you see the girL is aLready under tremendous pressure?

 

Raxmah I aint in that situation but I know of some peopLe that are facing the same thing Lord HeLP Ya'LL.Just take it easy and do tie the knot when you want to and NOT because you are trying to pLease those around you.

 

LoL@PearL thats how you do it..."ur next...ur next...ur next"Loool!

 

X baL ma araktay them nosey a$$ peopLe...God they might as weLL open up a coLumn in the LocaL paper.

[Haneefah]

Lol@mobb...why don't you just say I'm willing to volunteer

 

Raxmah, I can understand dear. With me, it's not the age but rather the circumstance. This yr has been the marriage year for my family, brother after brother getting married, and so I'm the only one left at home...I so happen to be graduating soon too...so NOW, everyone is on my back. They always go, " You'll be done school soon, so what are you waiting for?". Or with a big grin, they'll say...your brothers are gone, so you'll be next right? It's just my relatives that pressure me though...it's like my whole friggin' tribe can't wait to see me go....toloow maxaan ka bi'iyey :rolleyes: They'll be calling mom and asking her...gabadha maxaad guriga ugu heysataa... :mad: ...and mom is so sweet, she just tells them, my daughter is on a different journey, guur uma jeedo! Jac kuleel ka dheh, lol.

 

Just the other day, my adeero was telling me...you wanna become like your eedoyin and wait around til your in ur 30's to get married while your workin on PhD baas soomaha? and I'm like, Yes adeer...ishaad ka toogatay.

 

My immediate family though...alhamdulilah...they never bother me...they're actually too attached. Seriouly, my brothers can't stand guys... I can't wait to see the reactions on their faces the day some guy comes and asks for their lil sis' hand My mom, Ilaahay kheyr ha siiyo, she is so encouraging and understands my priorities although these days, she slips a lil and goes..."honey, I would luv to see my only daughter's lil toddlers running around calling me ayeeyo"...qalbigeey iga xanuujisaa

 

Raxmah sis...it'll all work out for you Insha'Allah...for the time being, just smile and ignore

[Warrior of Light]

Ameenah sister its just another phase in life. Myself have relatives asking ma about the possibilities. Happy to say got cousins in their 30s n still not married although have started to pray for them to get married . My own dad jokes about ol man in badiya but in reality the aim is one -get that education. You can let the biological clock to tick for a while. In the end it is Allah who provides children to who He wasnt.They are just another Amanaah.

Inshallah, as wife , mother, companion and an wise,educated person u can make changes in ur family unit and the community as a whole. I beleive in the hadith in educating a woman is like educating the whole Ummah. So dont let this teasing get to you. Inshallah youll met a man of ur calibre or better and fulfill your part of Iman and deen.

Dont sweat it give em a broad smile and pray to Allah when the time you really need to marry may He provide you with a suitable suitor.

[Raxmah]

Salaams

 

Thanks all for the encouraging responses.

 

I wish it was only a simple teasing, but nop they are dead serios about it. My dear grandpa who used to lecture the daylight out of me-wont say a word to me bc I wont get married this summer. (He thinks he has a good suitor for me) :confused:

 

By the time I'm 23 I think they will go crazy on me. For my b-day, yesterday my aunt called to remind me I was the oldest neice they have who hasn't got married yet. :rolleyes:

 

Whenever I say something about my neices or nephews-I'm being bombarded with comments-you could have your own, you know. :mad:

 

My younger sisters plan on finishing school first-thank god- but ofcourse I'm being blamed for their decisions. :rolleyes:

----

 

QQ--Why is it that most Somalia guys think a woman who decides to get married beyond 25 the abilty for them to have childeren diminishes. I'm sure u r aware Khadija RA was able to have 6 children after the age of 40.

[Bambina]

Salam Alaykum ,

 

There's this bad habit among somalis to believe that girl past 20 will have some difficulties conceiving children and it makes me laugh everytime.Its like saying after 20 , you're good for nothing ,lol. First of all , things are calaaf. Second of all , its not cuz ur physically able to get pregnant that u might get ready for marriage , its a psychological state , u need to be emotionally prepared.

 

My parents wont allow me to get married unless Im done with my education , to him education is a bonus so I wont have to depend later on my husband financially and emotionally.

[Warrior of Light]

Ameenah Ive passed that margin Ive just hit 27. I know the consequence of my actions, a sacrifice I decided to take. Wont mind thinking about marriage in 2 yrs time. Though I beleive before that the pressure will be on me.Allah knows better. One thing I have of advantage is im very far from all my family so I dont get any reminders.

 

QQ--Why is it that most Somalia guys think a woman who decides to get married beyond 25 the abilty for them to have childeren diminishes. I'm sure u r aware Khadija RA was able to have 6 children after the age of 40.

Sis, what you said is true but biological it has been proven that woman hits 25 she is in her most fertile state but after then onwards her reproductivity starts to diminish slowly. Being born female our she eggs have already been created and stored in the ovaries and diminish with age. On the other had men - he eggs are reproduced freshly once they hit manhood. It is for this reason prenatal monitoring is done when their is the risk of the mother being aged greater than 45.