High divorce rate amongst somalis ? Do you agree?

[bint hamid]

Originally posted by STOIC:

If you want us to tell you that Somali marriage is like a seeds sown in the desert or the tundra that will only sprout for few cycles and then eventually die, I'm sorry to disapoint you!The truth is that Somalis couples are human just like everybody else ...

jazakallah khayran akhi that is sooooooo true! somalis have the same problems as everybody else

 

sister sister1000, in islam what's his is mine and what's mine is mine too, so there's nothing wrong with sisters getting jobs and being educated. but you know there's something wierd in their marriage cuz she doesnt have a maher but that is just another way that people today are claiming islam but doing whatever they want

 

ameen

[Blessed]

I sort of agree, there is a global increase in divorce rates. That includes Somalis and generally Muslims. There was an article on this (high divorce rates in Muslim communities) in Jumuah Magazine.

 

However, that your husband might divorce you is not the only motivation for a wife to go work.

[Aaliyyah]

I agree that there is higher divorce rate within the somali community at least if we compare it to the pakistani community.

 

salaam

[BOB]

Originally posted by Sister1000:

in my culture, the divorce rate for muslims is very low. Divorce is pratically unheard of.

^^^and what culture is that where divorce amongst Muslims is very low and practically unheard of…if you don’t mind me asking that is and by the way we are SOMALI and not Somalians…Thank You.

 

 

Welcome to Somaliaonline.

 

 

Peace Be With You.

 

 

Peace, Love & Unity.

[LayZie G.]

^tan waa Paki oo hadanna deodrant marsan or so she tells Sir Qalbi.

 

PS: Aduunyada waxaan ugu necbahay Somalida oo sheegtaan iney somali aheyn oo ajnabi iska doondoonaayo, oo hadanna wadan walbo sheegan karaan but choose to iney kufaanaan iney Pakistan of all places ay-kayimaadeen. Pakistan waa meesha kaliyay oo dadkeeda ay si isku mid-ah ay isla uraan.

[Paragon]

Sister, shut it woman. Who the heck are you to make such a far-fetched hypothesis. Stay with your lot.

[Aaliyyah]

sister we had topics like this one that we discussed how divorce rates are higher within the somali community. Today they are all just being defensive since they think your non somali. I guess sort of like we can talk abt the shortcomings of our community but you can't kinda thing

 

salaam

[Paragon]

Sabriya, don't be so naive. Think before you speak, please.

 

Originally posted by Sister1000:

Indhoos

 

When I say that comment, Im not refering to any other posts. I obtained that information from just some somalian people I've spoken to. Anyway, in my culture, the divorce rate for muslims is very low. Divorce is pratically unheard of.

In your culture divorce is low because there exists no possibility for a woman to do so. Honour killings, have you forgotten?

[NGONGE]

^^ Who says it is low in her culture though? Are we using real figures here or just talking from personal expeirence? Well, let me tell you that almost all of my Pakistani friends are divorced and not one single Somali mate of mine ever got divorced (some got kicked out but found their way back in again). Only last week did my mate Malik tell me about his old man divorcing his wife and marrying another within two months. Not to mention my mate Arif and the two women he already divorced.......

[Paragon]

^Well thanks, NGONGE. I speak of my personal experience with Pakistanis I have known over the years. What I have come to know disturbed me.

 

Indeed you make a good point.

[Ibtisam]

Well considering the unlikelihood of a divorced women getting a husband within the Pakistan community, it is not suprising that divorce is very uncommon. In addition, the fact that Asian families have to PAY the guy dowery(money/gold) to marry their daughter makes marriage a family run business where a women cannot simply decided to walk away from her family investment because she no longer gets on with her husband.

 

The reason Somali divorces are more common than Pakistan divorces is in fact a positive thing, Somali women do not have a huge guilt or severe obligation to stay in an abusive or unworkable marriage. Living in the heart of East London, I have seen my share of abused Asian women who cannot walk away or speak out against mistreatment, often staying in unbearable situation, at a huge psychological and at times physical cost. So please don’t preach to me about marriage and oh how divorce is so bad. Asian cultures have made a hala option (divorce) almost haram, making it impossible for women to leave. There is nothing worse than feeling trapped, with no exit strategy, immense pressure from your family and shunned by the community.

 

In contrast to that, Somali women are not seen as burden or investment by their families, while every effort is made to make a marriage work, and the family will put pressure on them to try harder, there is no force, nor are they required to stay in abusive or uncomfortable environment. Somali women can remarry (some remarry many many times) Furthermore ultimately they women can turn around and refuse or go against her whole family and his if she feels that it is not work. This is mainly because our families don’t have to buy a man for us, in fact the guys are required to compensate the girls family. Obviously if I knew my family has been saving up to pay for me to marry some guy, I will feel obliged to stay with him regardless of how I feel or what I am getting out of this marriage. Somali women expect a lot more from their husbands, and they demand more, there is not an obvious hierarchy of I am the husband and you must obey me like the Asian community, it is more informal and mutual agreement. For example a Somali women will never live and cook for her in law, even back in nomadic life styles, they demanded their own space, house, food and sources of livelihood.

 

So my dear sis, to answer your question, yes the rate is higher when compared to the Pakistan or even Asian community, but this stems from our different cultures and approach to marriage and we do not see it as a negative thing. It is a good option compared to be stuck.

 

Cheers

[Paragon]

^So beautifully put, Ibtisam. Thank you. Now I don't have to go on being mr. nasty to sister.

[Malika]

^AND,a Somali woman is her fathers daughter even after marriage,she has ties with her own family, unlike in the Asian community,once a woman marries she no longer has ties with her family,she is 'wholly' her husbands.

 

Somali Women have the full support of their families,including the husbands family..If there is a dispute,99% its the woman that gets compensated.

 

The freedom of choice/movement that Somali women have even in marriage am yet to see in others and believe me I have friends of all nationalities..

[Ibtisam]

^^^I agree, Only think I love about Somali marriage. If it does not work, I jus have to make enough hu-ha about it and after few attempts they let me out. The Asian Community is like a prison, your never coming out.

 

Paragon: inaanta Guurso waryaa.

[Malika]

^You really don't like Paragon,taan isku darsaan maxaa wilka noguu sineysaa?