Blast From The Past.

[BOB]

Salam Aleikum W.W

 

Allow me to take you few years back and share few things with you that you never knew and its all FOR FREE.

 

 

My Story:

 

I first joined SOL sometime in 2002 and back then I had my real name as a username until I lost my password, over the years we went through so much changes both in our public (cyber) and private lives. Some of us lost a loved one and we all mourned together and offered our deepest & heartfelt condolences and some of us found a soul mate and got married and started a family which we all rejoiced and some of us came of age and went on to finish school & college and for the first time in their lives received their first ever pay cheque and I remember we all had a wonderful time talking about that in every topic we could lay our hands on.

 

 

I remember one day saying to myself "Well, enough is enough and if I wanted to leave SOL it will be my own choice and not because I got banned or something after all I got the most unenviable record which is being the guy banned from SOL most, in fact more than any nomad in the history of SOL and back in the day you only needed to misspell some insecure Moderator's name or some crazy girl's nick and before you know it your dusty behind was history.

 

Back in the day SOL was like a day care school we had so many people with odd names and dodgy personalities who liked to mourn and whine all the time and the older they were the dodgier and most of the brothers wouldn't tolerate a friendly mock never mind a joke and the girls, oh my god, they must have sent a zillion PMs to the Admin asking my uncivilized behind to be banned, that is why I can't even tell you the last time I had a glimpse at their kingdom let alone posting something in their section and to be honest just by mentioning the name "Women's Section" causes my heart to skip a beat and that's how scared i am of the girls, however not all the girls were unfriendly as there were so many sweet and friendly sisters who gave as much banter as they got and we all had a laugh and I am glad to say that some of them are still around to this day while others got married and decided to retire into their nomadic kingdom with grace while some got promotion at work and decided to dedicate all their energy and time to their work while others just drifted away and in the end disappeared into thin air however, I would like to say all of them Your place in SOL's history and your legendary status will forever be reserved because you made SOL what its today.

 

Old timers were on a roll when it came to creativity and we always had a few great topics with great issues to discuss about and it was like a non-stop party.

 

Back in the day SOL used to be dominated by folks from the North America with their crazy nicks and I used to make the dreaded mistake of thinking a sister as a brother and vice versa, I mean I can be forgiven for thinking Cutie was a girl, after all what kind of a man would call himself a Cutie unless he's mistaken SOL for Lamu and then there was a guy who chose to call himself Lovely_Abtiyoow, now brothers & sisters I am from South, Kista to be precise and in South we don't call our uncles Abtiyoow but Abti, mention the word Abtiyoow to Baashi and I promise you, you will get his attention for days & weeks and that's natural for the brothers from Kista and then there was a girl named High and I swear I thought here was an Aalkuliiste but the poor girl was referring to her height then there was Bluband and I told him (thinking she was actually a he) that my name is Kimbo, the cousin of Rama and god knows the kind of hell I was put through until she made sure I was banned, maybe she was from the Royal family in other words the Admin's night school classmate but too bad, now the folks from the North America are in the minority as now its officially the Island's turn as they seem to be the flavour of the month or you want me to be more specific and say UK, well, its still an island isn't it?

 

 

The problem of the UK folks is that all they seem to know is BBC London and we Somalis don't have to be shipwrecked on that Island to know BBC London as all we need to do is listen to the radio and every other second we would hear "Halkani Waa BBC London" I mean aren't there other institutions apart from BBC London, my cousin lives in a institution called Bristol, come on, even the Zoo has different villages, like the Chimpanzee Village, The Baboon Village and The Gorilla Village and one more thing..there are other plants in the forrest other than Fish & Chips..Hellooo.

 

Lately it became a trend in SOL to be from the Middle-East, even my buddy Northerner left BBC London for that institution and he's so happy there that he even put Arabic flavour into his name, hence Al Burcaawi and I am afraid soon we are going to have people claiming to be from Bottom-East, you know how our Somali people like to be all over the place which is exactly what took me to the bottom of the continent so that I could remain true to my nomadic roots.

 

 

So many things have changed over the years but one thing that has never changed is that, I don't know how many of you are aware of this but I am still the sole representative of the mother continent and the last time I invited a friend to gate crash this party it resulted our banning which was kind of anticlimax as he was a genuine fellow with a heart of gold not to mention a good entertainer as well until one day we decided to break the rules and today he is busy making money & babies at the same time and he doesn't have the patience to sit around for hours like he once used to so Mr/Ms Admin you can take a break now as once the naughty boys are responsible young men today (I'm still curious to know whether you're a He or She) hope I wont be banned for this.

 

I used to enjoy picking on the so-called macho guys because I knew no matter how badly I annoyed them they will never send a PM to the admin asking him/her to ban me as they were fully aware that their "reputation" was on the line and some were smart and completely annoyed me and that always left me fuming..funny how I find myself avoiding confrontations at all cost today..mind you I am not smart..just a coward.

 

I had the privilege to get to know so many wonderful brothers & sisters whom I still remain in touch with through e-mail or by phone and I will forever cherish their friendship (you know who you are) and there were a couple of people that I wish I never came across but by meeting bad people teaches one to be a better person and today Thanks to them I am a better man than I was yesterday and there will be some that I might get to know in the future and hopefully they will leave a lasting impression on me..wait..make that..people should try their outmost best to know me, after all in a few years time we will be hosting the world cup Insha Allah and me and my grandkids will be selling tickets like a Hot Canjeelo and being Somali you know your goofy-toothed reer end can't afford tickets plus accommodation even if Uzbekistan were playing against Kazakhstan let alone Italy Vs Brazil and in this country people are not allowed to sleep in the mosques anymore, well, blame it on the drunkards who made a habit of stealing the Microphones and the speakers of the mosque, so the old mattress in my tiny and untidy room with a leaking roof is the only option you got, after all we invented the saying "Gacal Isma Cariirsho" so come one, come all but remember guys that the Ladies are FIRST.

 

I will tell you a story that happened when I first joined SOL and it involves my old time buddy Rudy, one day him and me had a friendly chat and wouldn't you know yours truly thought he was a Chinese in Calanleey as I couldn't tell a word of what he was saying and I only understood the word 'Gangster' and living in a country where the real gangsters murder for diapers & tampons I thought I should ask my buddy what is it exactly that he does and I was expecting him to say he was the Bugsy Siegel or Lucky Luciano of this era but the brother left me on my backside after I fell off from my old and worn out Gambar, he told me that he was in the same league with a cousin of mine named Juuje (a dude who used to hang around the weddings looking for a purse to snatch and believe me, it will be a crime against humanity to disclose what he used to find in those purses most of the time, he once swore to me that he found a yellow Al-Fallaah in one purse, I told you it will be crime against humanity to reveal all the dilemma the brother went through) my buddy Rudy got offended when I laughed so he thought he should raise the bar and hope that will impress me, he whispered that he's Blood, now how could a brother who never left mother Africa know Blood? I whispered back "Look bro, hadaa Dhiig tahay I am Dhacaan" to cut a long story short, after long discussion and argument we finally agreed that even Great Cigaal Shidaad would make a better gangster than the so-called Blood & Crips or even MS-13 for that matter, after all Cigaal could outwit any danger without ever breaking a sweat and Cigaal could get away with genocie let alone attempted murder as he wouldn't need to cause a violent death to his own women & children, instead all he needed to do was scare them to death and the job was done and Cigaal would avoid the murder rap.

 

Then came 9/11 and Rudy dumped his red & blue bandanas (only homeboy to have been both Blood & Crips at the same time) for Khamiis and borrowed turban and suddenly Rudy was Al-Qaeda and working on his first hardcore rap album called "Da 411 of 911" doing all this infront of his bathroom mirror and to be honest my buddy was whining rather than rhyming "Yo, you refuse to pay us welfare and now we defuse the bomb like a warfare" and suddenly Rudy saw what was happening in Afghanistan on the telly and realized he couldn't tame that beast and decided to retire from the game (What Game?) then the brothers from ICU came along and Rudy, the good old patriotic was up in arms and immediately went back to his bathroom booth dropping his latest LP and this time laying off on the Amxaaro with his venomous lyrics "Yo Melez, Da Donkey of Zenawi, My Name is Menace from the Legend of Al Zarqawi, You're Drunkard Waste While Am da Funk Master..We're Mujahideen n We don't Die but Shaheed , You're with Mujrimeen and Y'all Will Rot in Jaheem" Rudy was upbeat and for the first time in his life he was giving "something" back to the community and then the Mujrimeen got their way and my buddy Rudy was devastated as any good patriotic with pure Somali blood in his veins would and he was seriously contemplating on hanging up his mic when one day he heard that Somaliland was celebrating its 15th Anniversary on Radio Macno Laawe and my man was back..but wait..the Somali folks don't like rap, especially hardcore rap that he's so famous for..what he must do..what would he do? have no fear as his creativity came to his rescue once again and since North is blessed with so many great artists Rudy decided to settle with good old Somali song and the genius of Rudy whose love for the Xaliimos will never cease as he's the only man I know who believes if a sister is nice to him, she is indeed in love with him and ladies if you think I am bluffing then say just one nice word to Rudy and I promise you he will flood your inbox with his legendary cheesy rap songs...Rudy take it away Buddy.

 

Finally to the newbie, first and foremost Welcome to SOL where legends are buried and fools are hailed; I know you want to know what I have learned right? Well, NOTHING is my reply to you, as I haven't learned anything that I didn't know apart from some girls in here are quite..ahem ahem..How should I put it..are worthy of serious attention and some of the brothers are big time MARAX and that's down to their baadiye mentality but overall SOL is a grand old site with the most good looking & smart sisters..brothers, you're not expecting me to comment on your physical appearances now are you? If you are. You lot is mistaken, as I am nobody's mother.

 

PS. Sorry my fellow comrades & traitors, I took some time off to attend the funeral of my 87 year old neighbour whose wife hacked him to death, I don't know why but according to Baashi's "Waxaa La Yiri" newspaper, the old man spoke to his son in US and since the son was on his way back home asked his father if he needed anything and the poor old man said "Please bring me big, nice *** and don't tell your mother or she will be mad" as you can imagine he was old and weak and his wife didn't want him to work in the garden because of his back but the son was caught up within his American lingo and thought his dad was planning to cheat on his mother and he was asking him to help, the son got angry and told his mom and as they say the rest is bloody history.

 

wait until you read the stories of Baashi, Qori_Xabaalan, Conspiracy, SoMa_InC and Northerner and many many more that you may or may not know and i promise you its going to cause a riot in here if i reveal their secrets as i got thousands of recorded conversations, pictures and one of these has even confessed to being bribed by the Admin him/herself more than once. :eek:

 

 

Peace, Love & Unity.

[Jamster]

Sol has become the beacon and bonfire of our collective inspiration. Many have harvested delightful fruits for eternal pleasure.

 

Friendships forged, love bonds made, and most of all cemented oftentimes our collective thoughts.

 

May it continue to be a source of delight, charm and thoroughly inspire us all.

[UK_ROSE]

am gonna print this off to read on my way home!

[-Serenity-]

OMG BOB, my attention isnt that long! Try installments the next time. But I did read.

 

What can I say, SOL is truly great in so many ways, I've had nothing but good experiences with the nomads (all down to my slim-pickings and natural talent for recognizing the good peeps ).

 

p.s. You didnt have to beat Rudy up. I'm sure there is an understandable person behind all that text speak/ebonics.

[Baashi]

Wa caleykum Salaam Mr. Fuuf aka Ooji

 

Wlc back sxb. How is the tubaako coming along? Great, I hope

 

Admin is picking on you! Whatever happened to the Ma-shallaaye kid who grew up in Majengo where the lions are tamed and qubbo are skinned

 

Goat herders from Nugaal valley picking on sharks in the mool? This is crazy awoowe...

 

I don't wanna hear this cuz it scratches my overinflated pride in all things Kismaayo. Plz handle!

 

On a serious note, have you read the papers lately? We are taking a beating from Uncle Sam and his sidekick Zenawi. Poetry section is calling ur name buddy. A poem for the recent events will do.

[UK_ROSE]

Hi BOB,

 

as i said i read it on they way home from work, Really good to catch a glimpse on the past of SOL, as you can see am new here, am enjoying it very much coz i have never interacted with as many Somalis in my life..

 

Though I’ve lived in London for the past 14 years I’ve had 1 or 2 Somali friend.. i know its sad but am hoping that this will be a gateway to meeting nice somali sisters

[Intel]

and brothers Rose

nice somali sisters and brothers

 

wa aleykum salaam BOB

wlc back sxb

[-Nomadique-]

BOB very entertaining peice.

[Saabir]

Yo, you refuse to pay us welfare and now we defuse the bomb like a warfare .

That was a good one . by the way where's Jamaal_11??

 

Silent_Guy

[UK_ROSE]

Originally posted by rokko:

and brothers Rose

nice somali sisters and brothers

Sorry and brother's of course!!

 

I am really loving it here :cool: and its becoming more like an addiction!

[BOB]

Salam Aleikum W.W

 

 

Athena or should I go with the flow and call you Serenity? I liked Athena better though, because she was very sweet and down to earth girl and generous as well as she always tipped well and me and all my fellow villagers whom in the skeleton world of the models would be classified as OBESE were planning to go on hunger strike until you and your partner in crime freed the two grand old SOLers you secretly silenced in the favour of Serenity & Valenteenah (I know NO Valneteenah but BARWAAQO) you better make up your mind young lady as you only got 8 hrs or we will go ahead with the strike.

 

 

Killing Rudy aa? Naah I Love my brother Rudy too much to kill him especially now that the Oscars are just around the corner, he promised to introduce me to Bugs bunny, my man Fred Flintstone, Shaggy from Scooby Doo, Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse, the boy genius Dexter and his lovely sister Dee Dee and last but not least Pluto, he even promised to introduce me to the Hollywood signs and have my picture taken with Johnny Bravo and then buy me tons of Ice Cream as you know here in Africa we share one Ice Cream amongst the entire village...like I stressed I cant dare kill my brother Rudy as he's one of the last genuine brothers around and if I borrow a phrase that he taught me to say to all the bullies in the jungle, the likes of the lion, the rhino, the elephant, the buffalo and the leopard, he said I should wear my macawiis very low and say unto them "Hey, I'm a lover not a fighter" and all the wild animals would respect me, but I wish he would teach me what I should say to my ungrateful donkey, the bloody thing kicks me every time I try to reason with it by telling him to stay away from all the pretty Donkey girls who happen to be way out of his league as he is too ugly even for a donkey.

 

 

Don't worry I will post in installment Insha Allah when I come to you and you know I got a whole lot of chapters to write about you especially how badly you treated me the last Eid when I came to your house hoping to get Eid Mubarak and you gave me all the left overs and had me believe that you saved it for me, no wonder that Xalwo caused such abruption to my stomach "whoooooh" that was cruel especially knowing how much I love free Xalwo.

 

 

Then you turned all the BBC London boys against me by telling them that I wanted to steal their smelly plastic shoes, :mad: they wouldn't fit me even if I wanted to steal them as I am no midget and don't wear lower than size 10, hence my preference in tire shoes ala true nomad style as no plastic shoes could cope with the African jungle plus I wouldn't want to intoxicate the atmosphere with the foul smell from my Vietnamese made plastic shoes so Athena believe you me I got a whole lot to write about you and you know you can't sue me as I haven't got one cent.

 

 

Peace, Love & Unity.

[BOB]

My man Baashi,

 

Where do I begin? First and foremost the Tubaako business is booming and I've bought 7 Cariish by the seaside, secondly the Macawiis you sent me isn't a high quality one, you sent me a cheap one made for the fishermen in Maldives and the TV wasn't a new one plus its a Chinese made and it soon broke after your pregnant DOORO stood on it and I have to inform you that TV which can't even be watched BBC on caused a lot of stress to the chicken and the poor thing ended up having a miscarriage but don't worry, your Ari Carbeed is doing great and one is pregnant and another is seriously thinking of starting a family as soon as she finds a suitable Orgi and then your favourite one, the one that you used to adore started flirting with Cali Uraaye and I think she is in love as she doesn't eat & sleep and she doesn't even wash her body anymore, the last time I've seen her wet was when we last had rain and that was when we were both toddlers so Cali Uraaye put her under his spell.

 

 

The donkeys are on strike, they refused to have their daily dose of Coos, they say they want Bal and you know because of the drought I can't afford it, especially now that we have Amxaaro Urtooy in the country who can't get enough of our Beedaan & Qoone, in other words Reerkii waxba ma hayaan oo shiid xun oo shiir iyo injir wato ayaa jiro, lawaalkaana aw caksaday niuu ruugsaduu baraa.

 

Yeah I know whats happening back in Kismayo, I lost family members & close relatives but at least they sent few Xabash to hell on a express train!

 

Uncle Sam got mad because Aunt Samantha dumped his good for nothing a$$, they bombed a wedding in Af Madoow and claimed they bombed terrorists, Allah gaalo been badanaa, illeyn Gaal been kama xishoodo. but the funniest thing was, you will love this, they even bombed the Xabash after they thought they were Wadaadada...you know in the area of Canjeel, Beer Xaani, Xaliimo Cadeey, Kulbiyoow, Cag Libaax, Af Madoow you can't tell who is who even if you are Uncle Sam looking for Aunt Samantha...

 

 

Peace, Love & Unity.

[BOB]

Originally posted by rokko:

and brothers Rose

That's my man Rokko...but you forgot to mention or even at least give her a hint on the kind of the Brothers that she should look out for.

 

How's the Aussie Open going? have you attended any matches yet after paying your life savings? please don't tell me you went to see Maria Sharapova or friend of mine will never speak to me ever again!

 

 

Peace, Love & Unity.

[BOB]

Salam Aleikum UK_ROSE,

 

Welcome to SOL my sister, i hope you will enjoy your stay here as we've got so many wonderful people in this site who are great to interact with especially once you get to know them, my advice to you is.. don't take anything some of the people in here say too seriously especially some guys who are not too young and not too bright...apart from that you're in a save crowd especially now that ROKKO volunteered to play your tour guide , he's daddy's favourite and he's Caano Ma Daadshe and Farta hadaa afka ka gelisana ma qaniinaayo and no he isn't afloow its just that he's soo baari.

 

Once again Welcome Aboard my sister.

 

 

Peace, Love & Unity.

[N.O.R.F]

Welcome back ya BOB!

 

Hows life in SA saxib?