Break ups

[finestsista2005]

Hi My sisters,

 

I have recently went through breakup and wanted any advices from sisters who been there before.

 

What did you do to that made you heal faster?

 

What hobbies or activities made you forget.

 

Any helpful advice or information I would really appriciate. Breakups are heart breaking and would not advice anyone to go through them.

 

 

Thanks alot,

[Valenteenah.]

Sorry to hear it, Sista. I don't know what can make you heal faster. I have been told going on the rebound makes it easier, but I wouldn't advice it.

 

 

Maybe there isn't anything you can do. Maybe you keep feeling horrible until u wake up one morning and realise you feel OK?

[J.Lee]

First. Break-ups aren't heartbreaking: they always happen for a reason; if you always remember that, believe me you'll be over it in no time.

 

Second. lol. Whatever you do, don't mull over it. Put it behind you, and I do mean completely behind you and you can do that by doing something, anything!!! Just keep yourself busy.

 

Third. The time it takes to heal depends on the lenght of the relationship, the strenght of the feelings you had for that person and the reason(s) it was over especially if it was or could of been avoidable.

 

Give yourself time but move on!

[finestsista2005]

Thanks to both for all your support and advice. I started healing aready by making myself busy with chores and life.

 

Again, I don appriciate for taking the time to write two words of advice. It really is hard thing to do, but as one of you said, it happens even when we want to avoid it.

 

 

Thanks again,

[Pujah]

As someone said before me break ups dont appear out of thin air there has to be something that cause it so concentrate on that lil fact. Also delete everything that was good from your mind and focus on all the litle stuff that irritated you about the other person and in no time you will wonder whatever made you choose that person.

 

hope that helps.

[Strawberry_Xu]

Watch really violent martial arts movies. And imagine your ex's face on every henchmen the hero defeats.

 

It really helps.

[sheherazade]

Originally posted by Valentino:

Also delete everything that was good from your mind and focus on all the litle stuff that irritated you about the other person and in no time you will wonder whatever made you choose that person.

 

hope that helps.

This is re-writing history; she did choose him for a reason! What was good about him is still good about him regardless of her focus. Focusing on irritations whilst ignoring his good as a way of demonising him inorder to get over him will only get her to a place where she questions her own self and judgement- and now everybody's wrong and bad. May be it's not necessary to question it that deeply. Moving on entails accepting everything as it was: the good, the bad and the ugly. Bittersweet takes some getting used to. An important part of getting over someone is getting over yourself. Don't indulge; go do something altruistic. U're in a certain state of mind; it's not fixed, it's not uncontrollable and it's not misery ever after.

[Ibtisam]

i think you will only be truly over him, when you appreciate his faults, but remember his good points, but yet rationalise why you broke up, the reasons. Hating your ex makes you bitter, does more damage to you than him, messes up any other relations you develop later. solve the problems, get answers for things that did not make sense, once it all makes sense then move on.

 

For me dancing always helps. dance your troubles away, works wonders. don't dwell on it or focus on getting over anything. just have fun. out of sight, out of mind.. time heals everything.

 

p.s. you cannot, i repeat cannot be friends with someone you are trying to get over. it just does not work.

[TenaciousSoul]

Originally posted by XulaXu:

Watch really violent martial arts movies. And imagine your ex's face on every henchmen the hero defeats.

 

It really helps.

^^^^i highly recommend that.. !!! OR another thing i would suggest; is a bit painful at 1st, but after that>>> all pain free (promise)...that is 4 u 2 drink a cup of Poison ...(im not hating but simply trying 2 help)...

 

all good recommendations out here.. as someone said b4.. shift ur focus.. that always helps.

 

seriously.. good luck on wht ever u decide.. but if u decide mine , try 2 throw the bottle out right away or make sure its not accessible 2 children

[muunad]

why are break-ups always a bi*ch? i have been postponing one for months just so i don't have to deal with the "what if's".

but if this advice helps don't dwell just know that u have gained a more percise insight on what u want from a man in the future.

 

as my high school teacher always said "there is someone out there for everyone who thinks that u are indeed perfect, and is gonna love u if u let them". with this in mind it eases the pain this the idea of a sexy knight waiting for u

[Shakti]

naya why did u give ur heart so fast?? i just need 2 know

 

haven’t u heard of this phrase " love comes after marriage"

if u weren’t so eager 2 give ur heart so fast to this faraax, u wouldn’t be in this predicament!!

U would've got out the relationship without feeling this way

 

let ur mistake be someone else’s lesson!!

 

Im sorry 4 being a insensitive *female dog* but u must wisen up b4 u leap into the same situation again and again

[RedSea]

What, you divorced? if not what other breakup is there? sorry to sound mean, but really we are all getting caught up in this boyfriend girlfriend thing. Forget about him sister, and may Allah reward a loving husband in place of your "exboyfriend".

[Pujah]

Sheh, its true she did choose him out of the thousand other suiters but honey what i was suggesting wasn't to become bitter but to realise that it wasn't "all good" and that there was obvious incompatability and a big reason why the relationship ended. I am a firm believer that eventhough one person may make the actual move of breaking the news but deep down its never complete shock to the other partner... you always know it was coming but too afraid or too lazy to face music or maybe hopping it will go away..

[Inner_Essence]

Instantly after every prayer make dua to your creator after all non can heal other then him. And just be conscience that everything happens 4 a reason and maybe kheyr baa kugu jiray, and most luckly he wasnt right for you.ALLAH knows best sister and as a muslimah its best to have sabir and put ur trust in ALLAH. Preserve ur respect and dignity, practise ur deen and in no time allah will reward u a more deserving and obedient brother that wont let ur feet touch the ground lol.

Good luck,SalamAleikum

[Passion_4_Fashion]

reblace him asap......NO1 healer that is