lulla Posted March 2, 2003 Asalam Calaykum everyone how ya doing? See i have a question but i don't know how to put words into it.. see I want to talk to my mother about guys and realtionship and allowing me to let guys called my house and ask for me..iam tired of playing the pertending game..u know..the mother act like iam not talking to any guys and me acting like iam not either..and if a guy actually gets the nerve to ask for me..my mother would be standing next to me..giving the look that says u better hang up the phone..so i say bye to the guy and then after he hang..i said to the don't ever called my house again in somali..lol. so then i tell my mom..i don'tknow where he got our number and i don't know him ect.u get the point. all my friends go through the same thing..anyways..i was wondering did this happen to anyone here and did it change when they got older? iam just wondering..is this some kinda cultural thing that most somali female go through? cultural thing meaning that their are some topics we just can't talk about with our family member or feel comfortable enough to talk about it? anyways let me know what ya think.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Miskiin-Macruuf-Aqiyaar Posted March 2, 2003 Salaan... Koraa lagaa salaamey mar labaad. Anyway, If I was that guy, and your hooyo phone-ka qabato, this is how I would have conversed with her. Hooyo: Halooow. Ani: Eedo macaan, ii waran? Hooyo: Eedo nabad. Waa kuma? Ani: Eedo, wah, dariska waaye oo caafimaadkiina idinka wareesanaayi. Cida iiga waran? Soomaaliya maxaa laga sheegay? Hooyo: Eedo waa la wada nabad qabaa. Ani: Eedo Luulu makuu dhaw dahay waxyar aa wax ka wareesan lahaa iskoolkii baas. Now, maamada is all :cool: and even complimenting that conversation at the back of the phone, and perhaps could be heard as she is trying to say, "Nayaa Luuleey wiil baa ku doonayo oo walee waligeey sidiisa camal aanan arkin." Now, iska dhafee in phone-ka dhig lagu dhahee, even ma lagu weydiinaayo su'aalo kale. But hooyooyinka do not like most guys because this how it goes with their conversation: "Haloow?" "Yeah, Is Luulu there?" Or "Luulu majoogtaa?" Hooyo would be pissed off with that attitude. Hooyo hadii hadalka loo mac macaaneeyo, she would really like you eventually. _________________ Anyway, I have one solution for you: Get a cell phone if you can. I am not myself fond of cell phones, but if you are a situation like this, get a one since it is ubiquitous in these days. _________________ Macsalaama!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Isra Posted March 2, 2003 Salam MMA is quite right with his suggestions. I think it hard for parents to accept the fact that thier daughters are dating or even talking to guys.Its a cultural fact trust me.For example my father is preety sure my sister's husband simply came and asked for hand in the most respectable way with his parents, without a relationship existing between them! Get a nice reliable cell with some password that makes it impossible for anyone to acess it.There ends the dilemma. Peace Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Haneefah Posted March 2, 2003 salaam Actually with me, My mom is like...honey I know I've raised a very responsible/moral daughter who's old enough to make her own decisions...but, it's one of my many older brothers who's a bit rude to guys when they call...And it's kinda understandable cuz brothers will always have a hard time adapting to the fact that their little sis has grown up and might be seeing some stranger. Now, MMA is right in that politeness/cell do help but at the end of the day, you need to confront your mom and tell her how u feel. Tell her that you're at a certain stage in your life where you think you're ready to talk or have relationships with men, and you need to reassure her that your very conservative about it and that everything is within the boundaries...lol..then finally, ask her what she thinks and do listen to her well! I hope that helps ya out a little Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DA_BEAST Posted March 3, 2003 MOTHERS KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR THEIR DAUGHTERS. so sister your mother is acting the way every mother should act when it comes to their children especially their daughters. so i agree with the brother all the mothers need to hear is a voice who's familiar we all know that our mother's don't speak english and they don't wanna learn so why talk to them in english when you can make a lasting impression with a somali? so sister you don't need a guy who likes to put down his own language now do you?YO STAY SOMALI peace i'm out. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kool_Kat Posted March 3, 2003 Lulla, hon, you're always a baby in your mother's eyes... Parents, specially Somali parents, don't want to let go of their children, when it is time... They're always thinking of the negative things that could happen to you, specially since you're a girl... Alla tan amay ceeb noo keentaa; Alla maxay habra kale u maleynayaan hadeey nin gabadheyda ku arkaan; Wiilkaan gardhayda soo wacayo muxuu u danleeyahay... That's just some of the things they think when a guy starts calling... Me, I am one of the few luck ppl, I was raised in a open environment with my mother and bro/sis... My mother always said "qofka wixii lagaceliyo buu ku cararaa uuna suubiyaa"... Of course she didn't allow us to talk on the phone with guys, or go out with them all the time... But you know when we reached that certain age of dating, we had the freedom to do so... You know everyo now and then, she'll put us in check and show us who's in charge... Like saying "nayaa taleefonka kabax dhaqso" or when we want to go out, she'll say "Nayaa bixidaada badatayee joog, ma aqaani movie movie gaan aa sheegeysidee"... To have the freedom is good, but a mother will never let her child have full freedom... So my advise to you is, talk to your mother... Let her know that this guy is from school or whateva... Or get a cell phone (that doesn't work most of the time though, specially if you're at home and he calls, your moms can tell right away), or my fav is a two way pager, where you can text message each other... And when she ain't home... TALEEFONKA DHIIG KAKEEN SAA UGU HADLEYSID...lol Lastly, this is a stage every teen or young adult goes throu, so no need to worry... You'll be thankful later in life... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Section6er Posted March 4, 2003 tell them when they call and your moms pick up to just say some random name like...... (insert your bf name here).....dials #...phone rings Hoyo....haaalo (inset bf name here)...My I speak to darrel? Hoyo.....aah aaa wrooong numberer Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
seduction_queen Posted March 4, 2003 Hey abbayo, Lulla i feel what your going through I went through it 4 months ago...lol. The thing is (you might find it weird) i went to my dad. I talked to him about who I think I'm mature enough for guys to call and I responsible enough to know what I can and can't do. What did my father say, well he goes alright just don't let them call the house to much. I was off the hook!!! So I thought. My mom walked in asked us whats going on, my dad told her. Her expression was like she was gonna have labour, I FELT SOOOOO BAD! But I nogotiated that I can only talk to them for sometime, and that I will tell them who he is (name etc.) I learned to live and except that rule. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SafiaLuuL612 Posted March 8, 2003 Baby Girl, I went through that phase, and so does every other Somali adolescent female at one point or another. At first I lied and said I didn't know who the ni99as calling were. It just made momz more angry. But what I learned if you just open and honest about your business that your momz will come to accept that you growing up. I didn't think I could ever tell my momz what was up wit my dating life, but now we open about everything. Its gonna be hard on your momz in the beginning, but really them ni99as calling is just a sign that you growing up, and when she see them calling she gonna recognize the deal. Keep yo head up girl and remember its a phase, it aint alwayz gonna be like this. Get a cell phone or pager too, that alwayz work. Safia Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
StarGazer Posted March 8, 2003 LOL@ MMA, I guess it worked for you in the past huh. I agree with Nafisa, communication baby girl, communication is the best way!!! best of luck. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ajakis Posted March 13, 2003 MMA .......I THINK THAT IDEA U COME UP WIT WILL ONLY WORK WIT MOMS.....I WANNA KNOW WHAT DADS WILL SAY IF HE ANSWERED DA PHONE TO BE HONEST...I ONCE CALLED THIS SISTA AND HER MOM ANSWERED DA PHONE...SADLY I DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO SAY SO I COME UP WIT THIS IDEA: MOM: HELLO ME: HELLO EEDO MOM: EEDO YAA DOONEYSAY? ME:(PAUSE FOR A WHILE) AND FINALY REVEALED HER NAME MOM: MAXAA KA RABTAY? ME:EEDO WAXAAAN AHAY MACALINKA ESL-KA SCHOOL-KEEDA U XIL SAARAN ARDADA SOMALIYEED LABADAAN BARI GRADE_KEEDA MA FIICNA INAAN KA WAREESTO AYAA DOONAAYAY MOM: ALLA EEDO QEYR ALLAHA KU SIIYO BAL SUG AAN KUUGU WACEE NAA HODANEEEY! KAALAY MACALINKA LA HADAL! HODAN: HELLO MACALIN ME: WHATS UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP! MACALIN BEELE WAA ANIGIII DEEE Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
