A Turkey For Eid!

[NGONGE]

This year, Christmas day in NGONGE Towers was very quiet. We spent quality time together, played games, went for a walk in the park in the afternoon and watched lots of Christmas TV.

 

I also made and received lots of phone calls from various friends and family. Most of them, it seems, had a similar day to mine. Worse still, many used the opportunity to invite people for lunch or dinner and quite a few cooked feasts that would make the top list of any Christmas gathering.

 

That evening, whilst talking to a friend about all of this, he referred me to the festive programs on TV and seemed obsessed with a certain festive bird. Our conversation went as follows:

 

Him: I would love to cook a turkey

 

Me: An entire turkey?

 

Him: Yes. Like the one they had in Come Dine With Me the other day

 

Me: What was it like?

 

Him: It was a big turkey and the woman that cooked it stuffed it with all sorts of things, even honey!

 

Me: But do you know how to cook a turkey?

 

Him: I’ll get the recipe off the net

 

Me: What stuffing would you use?

 

Him: I have it all worked out in my mind but I am not sure if it is halal

 

Me: What is?

 

Him: Having a turkey

 

Me: If it is slaughtered correctly then it is halal.

 

Him: I know that. But I am talking about all the things that come with it.

 

Me: Things? What things?

 

Him: The tree, the gifts and all those other things.

 

Me: Alcohol?

 

Him: No. Not alcohol.

 

Me: Hang on! Did you just say TREE?

 

Him: Not a Christmas tree. I was thinking of cooking the turkey on Eid day and having a PALM TREE in my living room.

 

Me: What for?

 

Him: To make Eid feel like Christmas.

 

Me: Why in the world would you want to make Eid feel like Christmas?

 

Him: Because Christmas seems more fun.

 

Me: So why don’t you celebrate Christmas instead?

Him: Because I am a Muslim.

 

Me: Well, you could have fooled me.

 

Him: You don’t understand. You will never understand.

 

Me: I think I do.

 

Him: No you don’t. I want to have a turkey, a tree and gifts for Eid, not Christmas

 

Me: I understand the turkey part, it is food after all and food is fine. But what is with the tree?

 

Him: So I can put the gifts under it.

 

Me: Do you HAVE to put the gifts under a tree? Can’t you just give them out on the day?

 

Him: It is more fun when you put them under a tree and nobody is allowed to open them until the big day.

 

Me: Put them in a corner of a room then and tell people not to touch them.

 

Him: I told you that you would never understand.

 

Me: You are right.

 

Him: What is wrong with having a PALM TREE in my living room anyway?

 

Me: Nothing at all. It may even add a bit of colour to the room.

 

Him: So why do you keep sneering?

 

Me: Because you seem to be cutting and pasting an entire tradition into your own way of life.

 

Him: I am not.

 

Me: You are. Why else think of a turkey and a tree? Next, you will have Mullah Saleh falling down the chimney!

 

Him: I thought of that too! But, I keep telling you that I am MUSLIM. I will have no Santa coming down my chimney. However, what is wrong with asking the Imam at the mosque to give out gifts? He can dress all in white and he already has a big white beard.

 

Me: You even thought of that? Listen, why don’t you forget this boring idea of Islam and just celebrate Christmas? It will save you a lot of bother you know. AND you will have the chance to have a real Christmas tree (no palm nonsense).

 

Him: You are making fun of me now.

 

Me: What do you expect when you’re talking all this nonsense!

 

Him: It is not nonsense. Look at the Americans.

 

Me: What about them?

 

Him: They have Thanksgiving and they cook turkeys.

 

Me: I am not sure I follow.

 

Him: It proves that you do not have to be a Christian to cook a turkey. Anyone can.

 

Me: I did not say otherwise.

 

Him: Besides, thanksgiving is not a religious festival.

 

Me: It is not NOW. But the origin, as the name suggests, is religious.

 

Him: I mean it is not religious in the way that Eid or Christmas is.

 

Me: Well, if we’re being picky then Christmas isn’t either.

 

Him: The point I am making is that many different celebrations use turkey as the main foodstuff

 

Me: And I do not oppose that. Have turkey if you must

 

Him: I will.

 

Me: In fact, have the tree and the gifts too. Ah! Why not have candles too? There are at least three days of Eid, right? Light a candle on each day and sing lots of nasheeds.

 

Him: Why the candles? Christmas has no candles.

 

Me: I thought you were not copying Christmas.

 

Him: No. I am not. I am just celebrating Eid in a modern way.

 

Me: Have candles then.

 

Him: What’s with the candles.

 

Me: The Jews use candles when celebrating Hanukkah.

 

Him: I am not copying the Jews.

 

Me: That is discrimination.

 

Him: I don’t care. I am not copying the Jews.

 

Me: But you would still see no problem with having a tree and turkey on Eid day?

 

Him: That is different.

 

Me: Warya. I'm running out of qat, bal orbeeto kale ii tuur......

[Ibtisam]

Looool

 

Ngonge stop hanging out with Ciyaal and calling them friends AND giving then Qaad. Seriously this guy must have been what 11?

 

Wax Walan anaga aya araganey. Bal adiguna diinta ha ka saarin with your madness!

[Malika]

LOL..Ngonge,did you guys have tons and tons of sweets too? We did!..lol

 

The festive spirit rubs off huh?

[Haatu]

Talk about mirqaan. Waryaa are you sure u weren't imagining that.

[cynical lady]

We’ve muslimfied Santa in our household and the kids love him. He comes on Eid and Christmas. And yes, had a tree, presents under it and massive turkey. Good times.

 

lol@ 11yr old

[NGONGE]

Ibti,

This might be murqan talk for now but I guarantee that the first Somali woman to cook a turkey and boast about it to her friends will start the trend that everyone shall follow.

 

I'm planning to try cooking one on 18th May.

 

CL,

I don't believe a word you're saying.

 

For any recent arrivals, this is what a turkey looks like:

 

[cynical lady]

wow!!

 

Finally got you to talk to me and all it took was a muslimfied Santa and a turkey.

 

I should have known.

 

p.s why don’t you believe me…..is it the brats part?

[Ibtisam]

Ngonge, I've been promised Hala Turkey this friday. I will give you feed back okay before you burn the house down on the 18th May.

 

Don't see the big deal, over grown chicken iga dhe.

 

CL talk about confusing them, our kids don't do uuf xaram santa. In fact Santa is a dirty old pervert- akhaas.

[NGONGE]

No CL it was the turkey. (as if you would know how to cook one).

 

And what do you mean got me to talk to you? I talk to you all the time.

 

Ibti, you mean a proper one like the one above or just a sandwich?

[Ibtisam]

^^^NO I mean the one above- In fact I am going to take your picture along and demand it looks just like that shafaka taagaya. I hope SOL iney akhiryian before friday

[cynical lady]

Bless Ibti- you got to them young didn’t you? And what did you tell them by the way? P.s Sheikh Santa is soo much fun and a very loved by the kids in my family.

 

Old man- No you don’t…and ibti can testify to the pining and crying I’ve done.

 

p.s don’t be silly, I don’t cook anything, I just appear when its time to eat it. And I can safely say Turkey with stuffed pilau is yaaaamy!!!

[Fabregas_Bruv]

lol.

 

the turkey can be halal, but i wonder if it is the only blood halal here. let me ask LX,bal...

[Haatu]

^what, u want him to make takfiir on NG for talking to himself whilst high?

[Fabregas_Bruv]

^^Maya, I am trying to find a way to make ngones large house and fancy laptop ghanimoworthy. (it was a joke sxb or maybe ir came out in the wrong way). Good day.

[MAXIMUS POWERS]

looooooooooooooooooooooooooool@Me: Warya. I'm running out of qat, bal orbeeto kale ii tuur......

 

useless mirqaan talks.