Are you guys having some sort of identity crises?… I know all what have two names considering that I all live in some foreign countries, but come on we are FARAXSSS AND XALIMIISSS. P.S. I enjoyed reading it

Eating the same type of foods everyday is really unhealthy.It can cause a lack of major essential nutrient deficiencies in body. therefore i would not recommend always eating what you know.. Trying out new food groups is never harmful...unless it fast food. I know we Somalis think that eating a lot of meat is health, unfortunately, this is inaccurate. You should always try to have more fruits and vegetables in your diet and less of every thing else… p.s. thanks for the informative information…………… may ALLAH reward you in return

Alright ladies and gentleman, I think you guys have made your points about Somali weddings obviously. But the whole point of this topic is to help my fellow brothers and sisters in choosing a prospective partner, and not to quarrel amongst ourselves Thanks

I found this article very moving i hope ya'all enjoy it tooo I, a Simple Woman ( Relates a story of how women are treated in Africa ) By: Sharif Amin My God, how hard it is to be a woman, how hard it is to be a simple woman back home in Africa. Little girl, you are relegated to the background. You are the shadow of the little boy who is the guarantee of the perpetuation of the family and of your name. You, girl, will belong to another family. Over there you will be the stomach that makes babies, you will be a cook to nourish this new family, you will be a maid who does everything, you will be in some ways a slave who doesn’t have the right to speak, whose only right will be to obey and accept whatever is imposed upon her. You, girl, will only be seen after they are done looking at your brother. You will go to the kitchen next to your mother to learn to be a woman, to be a mother, and especially, to be a good, submissive wife who doesn’t know how to say “no†or “Iâ€, who knows only how to say “yes.†Your fate and your destiny are in the hands of others who dispose of it as if you didn’t exist, as if you were a small object or a little dog that one manipulates as one wishes. You will go to school, but in a random sort of way. There won’t be any real investment in your education because they know your education won’t be a long one. Soon you will have to leave school for your own home. You must get married. This is your first responsibility. This man will be chosen for you. Do you love this man? Do you even like this man? Oh, it doesn’t matter. The important thing is that you marry. That you don’t stay at home until you become an old maid. The important thing is that your parents hold their heads high having successfully accomplished their exalted mission, to educate and marry their little girl. No, in the scheme of this decision, you don’t exist. Anyway, as they say, “Appetite comes in the course of eating.†So, my girl, you will have this appetite in marriage, you will love this man and you will produce handsome males for him. And yes, they will be males. Be especially careful not to produce females for him. Make sure they are little men. As if you had divine powers. As if you could determine the sex of these children that you will put into the world. But my girl, if you want to have the esteem and respect of your in-laws, make only boys for them. To put girls into the world is only a waste of time and energy. You will have spent nine months of your life suffering uselessly. This girl is nothing but a superfluous responsibility that we could all easily do without. So, my girl, you will only make men with your husband. Only in this way will you be a good wife. But how old is this girl who marries and must give birth to masculine power? She’s probably about twelve years old, or maybe thirteen, not much older in any case. She’s a girl who hasn’t yet finished playing with her dolls. She’s a child who still needs her mother, who still needs to be pampered and coddled. Even so, this child will be torn away at an early age to assure her function as an adult. She who still needs to be taken care of must take care of another home, of a husband, and of in-laws who are sometimes very demanding. She whose body has not yet finished developing must give life herself. Your childhood is sacrificed in this manner. Married at your age, what kind of childhood can you hope to have? I don’t see it. But such is your destiny. The young girl who has become a wife despite the fact that she will live with the thoughtlessness of a young adult projected into a universe that isn’t her own. You will be a woman, a real, responsible woman. No one will put up with your childish ways, or your bad behavior. You are no longer a little girl, you are now a woman with responsibilities, and you are the mistress of a home. Keep this always in mind. Never forget it. The little girl who has become a woman will give birth to many children who will grow up in the fold of her love and under her protection. She will be a good mother, loving and attentive. Her children will be her happiness and her joy. And one day her life, and the life of her children, will take another turn. The sky is darkening. The horizon threatens. The future seems to slip away. The mother, the wife, is anguished. She is frozen by fear. But what is this thing that point toward the horizon, that frightens her so, that rips the happiness away from her motherhood? Woman, your life is suffering and self-sacrifice and abstraction. This thing on the horizon becomes clearer. This very night, woman, you will be awakened by an unusual noise. Your heart stops beating, you are short of breath you’re frightened. The far-away sound gets closer. Your heart bleeds. You’ve identified the noise. It’s the sound of machine-gun fire, bombs exploding, combat tanks advancing to get into position. It’s the sound of soldiers’ footsteps on the ground, of anguished cries. Woman, the children that you put into the world through tears and suffering are getting killed, massacred by the children of another woman like you. These sons that they asked of you are warring. The ground is flooded with the blood of your children. Every day, more are being killed. You look on, powerless. You look at the carts filled with the mutilated corpses of your sons, riddled with bullets. You cry with all the tears of your body. There is no one to console you, no one to ease your pain. Who can you turn to, on whose shoulder can you cry? Your pain is even greater for the fact that there’s nothing that you can do about it. You watch your children die and you are nothing but a poor woman. You scream your rage, your hopelessness before the body of the fruit of your womb. And you ask yourself questions. Why give life when you can’t protect it, when you can’t prevent it from meeting a violent and bloody death? It’s so that they can kill each other that I, woman, must give birth to men. Childbirth is much too painful to watch your children suffer so. Nine months of painful suffering, of sickness, of fatigue, of uncertainty. And then comes deliverance, in the midst of blood and cries and tears, and anguish above all. Will I survive such pain? To what will I give birth? Will this child be perfect? Will all his limbs be intact? Will he come into the world alive? Will he be in good health? All those many worries in vain, just to see these efforts annihilated in the blink of an eye by the bullets of a soldier who fires without even knowing why he’s fighting, or the implications of the combat he’s undertaking. This son of a woman is also a pawn who complies by wounding the heart of a mother while fighting to save his own life in order to ease the fears and worries of his own mother who lost sleep because her son was on the front, because at any time she might hear the news of his death. I, the woman, I will always cry for my son, whether he’s a soldier or whether he’s the victim of a soldier. I will always agonize for my children. I will always suffer for my own inability to protect them from the greed of white-collared men. Pain will rip again at my womb in the face of the unlimited ambition of these politicians who are completely unaware of my existence, who are indifferent to my suffering. I, woman, I will continue to watch my sons die because other men have so decided. My son, you will die from the bullets of this man who wants power at all costs. You, your life has no meaning, as long as he runs the country, as long as he has the glory, as long as he has international recognition, but especially as long as he amasses the greatest wealth possible at the expense of the people. My son, it is for these reasons that you will die alone somewhere, maybe on the corner a street, struck down by a bullet that might not have been destined for you, on your way home from class or coming home from work. In this way, my son, you will leave without saying goodbye to me, plunging me into a state of complete distress. In this way, men in white collars, like gods, have decided your fate. They have decided that your life here below was over. And that I, woman, should be plunged into the solitude of your absence. Woman, from this point on you will remain alone to collect the memories of your son. You will see, every day, these men who killed him on your little television screen. You will see them prosper; you will see their stomachs grow. With pain, with hatred you will spite them. But this won’t bring your son back to you. And you will ask yourself why God permitted this to happen to a woman and the mother of humanity, to be treated in this way? To be constantly afflicted? For how much longer will these men continue to rip my kind mother’s heart? I scream my indignation to the face of the earth. Are there even ears to hear me? I am a revolted woman. But how do I express my revulsion? Do I need to make up my mind not to put any more sons into the world so that I don’t have to sit by, powerless, and watch them massacred? Do I too need to take up arms to protect them from everybody who would want to harm them? I would like to find a solution that would put an end my anguish without doing as they do, without using violence as they do. For a woman is love, she is kindness and tenderness. Hate must not find a place in her cotton heart. But how, woman, not to have hate in your heart when they constantly make your tender heart bleed? When your soul is constantly tossed about in your body? You’ll know how to ease your heart. Because you give life, you don’t take it away. You don’t take away the breath that you instilled into a body. That’s how you are made. Your mission is to take back the happiness around you, and not the opposite. Woman, if you had a magic wand, I know what you would do. I know it. You would transform yourself into a little fly and enter into the bodies of those murderers. You would take away from them all the evil that is within them. You would soften their hearts to make it as soft as yours. You would make new men out of them, men with the tender hearts of women. You would make them understand the errors of their ways, which you will make them see. In that way, tears filling their eyes, they will ask you forgiveness for the evil they have done. They will express their remorse and their regret. In this way, you, woman, will finally be happy and satisfied with your place as wife and mother. Childbirth will not longer be painful for you, but only a joy. For your children, they will live in the fold of your love for as long as God is willing. Sharif Amin, B.Sc; M.A; Social Worker/Advocate for Victims of Domestic Violence!. Denver, Colorado.USA. E-mail: sharifamin@hotmail.com

CLASSIQUE thank you abaayo for passing on the words of wise and may ALLAH reward you.. LAYZIEGIRL: u need to chilling abaayo... we understood besbaaso's point. so if your frontal lobe is not processing thoughs don't take it out on her . Besbaaso:

P.S. I LOVE YOUR STORY BOB... I HOPE YOU CONTINUE WRITING IT

WELL SAID BROTHER BOB.. ONLY IF EVERY INDIVIDUAL IN OUR SOCIETY WAS THINKING LIKE YOU THAN WE MIGHT LIVE IN PEACE AND HARMONY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MIGHT ALLAH BLESS YOU FOR ENLIGHTING THE SOMALI FOLKS IN HERE SISTER WITH SOUL

Pointers on Choosing Marriage Partners By Rabi'ah Hakeem In light of the experience of the past years, it is time to take stock and try to halt the ever-mounting tide of divorces among Muslims. It is not unusual today to find Muslim women (and even an occasional Muslim man) who, by the time they are 30 or 35, have been married three or four times, their children suffering again and again through the trauma of fatherless and broken homes. Accordingly, we may list a few essential points to be considered by both brothers and sisters in the process of choosing a partner in life (although the masculine pronoun has been used throughout for the sake of simplicity, the following is generally equally applicable to both men and women). 1. Du'a. Unceasingly ask help and guidance from Allah, Most High, in the matter of finding and choosing a mate. As often as you feel it necessary, pray Salaah al-Istikhara, Islam's special prayer for guidance, in order to reach a suitable decision. 2. Consult your heart. Listen to what your inner voice, the 'radar' which Allah has given you to guide you, tells you about the prospective partner. It is likely to be more correct than your mind, which often plays tricks and can rationalise almost any- thing. For many people, first impressions are often the most accurate. 3. Enquire. Find out the reason why this man wants to marry you. Is he interested in you as an individual or will just any person do? Why is he not doing the logical thing, that is, to marry someone from his culture? If there is evidence that the primary reason for this marriage, despite claims to the contrary, is for convenience (greencard, money, property, etc.), forget it. This spells trouble. 4. Get to know your prospective partner, within the limits of what is permissible in Islam, before deciding on marriage. Just ' seeing' someone once or twice in the company of others, who may be anxious for this marriage to take place, is simply not enough under today's conditions, where two per- sons of totally dis-similar backgrounds are meeting each other without the safeguards of families. Without violating Islam's prohibition about being alone, try to understand his nature, what makes him tick, his temperament, what he might be like to live with. 5. Talk to several people who know your prospective partner, not just one, or have someone whom you can trust do this for you. Ask about him from various people, not just from his friends because they may conceal facts to do him a favour. And ask not only about his background, career, Islamicity, etc., but about such crucial matters as whether he gets angry easily; what he does when he is 'mad'; whether he is patient, polite, considerate; how he gets along with people; how he relates to the opposite sex; what sort of relationship he has with his mother and father; whether he is fond of children; what his personal habits are, etc. And find out about his plans for the future from people who know him. Do they coincide with what he has told you? Go into as much detail as possible. Check out his plans for the future - where you will live and what your lifestyle will be, his attitudes toward money and possessions and the like. If you can't get answers to such crucial questions from people who know him, ask him yourself and try to make sure he is not just saying what he knows you want to hear. Too many people will make all kinds of promises before marriages in order to secure the partner they want but afterwards forget that they ever made them, (this naturally applies equally to women as to men). 6. Find out about his family, his relations with his parents, brothers and sisters. What will his obligations be to them in the future? How will this affect where and under what conditions you will live? What are the character and temperament of each of his parents? Will they live with you or you with them? And are they pleased with his prospective marriage to you or not? Although it may not be the case in most Western marriages, among Muslims such issues are often crucial to the success or failure of a marriage, and answers to these questions need to be satisfactory to ensure a peaceful married life. 7. Understand each other's expectations. Try to get a sense of your prospective partner's under- standing of the marriage relationship, how he will behave in various situations, and what he wants of you as his spouse. These are issues which should be discussed clearly and unambiguously as the negotiations progress, not left to become sources of disharmony after the marriage because they were never brought up beforehand. If you are too shy to ask certain questions, have a person you trust do it for you. At an advanced stage of the negotiations, such a discussion should include such matters as birth control, when children are to be expected, how they are to be raised, how he feels about helping with housework and with the children's upbringing, whether or not you may go to school or work, relations with his family and yours, and other vital issues. 8. See him interacting with others in various situations. The more varied conditions under which you are able to observe your prospective partner, the more clues you will have as to his mode of dealing with people and circumstances. 9. Find out what his understanding of Islam is and whether it is compatible with your own. This is a very important matter. Is he expecting you to do many things which you have not done up to this point? If he emphasises " Haraams", especially if you are a new Muslimah, and seems unable to tolerate your viewpoint, chances are your marriage will be in trouble unless you are flexible enough to accommodate yourself to his point of view and possibly a very restrictive lifestyle. Let him spell out to you clearly how he intends to practise Islam and how he wants you to practise it as his wife so there will be no misunderstandings later. 10. Don't be in a hurry. So many marriages have broken because the partners are in such haste that they don't take time to make such vital checks as the ones outlined above and rush into things. Shocking as it may seem, marriages between Muslims which are contracted and then broken within a week or a month or a year have become common place occurrences among us. Don't add yourself to the list of marriage casualties because you couldn't take time or were too desperate for marriage to find out about or get to know the person with whom you plan to spend the rest of your life. 11. Ask yourself, Do I want this man/woman to be the father/mother of my children? If it doesn't feel just right to you, think it over again. Remember, marriage is not just for today or tomorrow but for life, and for the primary purpose of building a family. If the person in question doesn't seem like the sort who would make a good parent, you are likely to find yourself struggling to raise your children without any help from him or her - or even with negative input - in the future. 12. Never allow yourself to be pressured or talked into a marriage. Your heart must feel good about it, not someone else's. Again, allegations of "Islamicity" - he is pious, has a beard, frequents the Masjid, knows about Islam; she wears Hijab, does not talk to men- are not necessarily guarantees of a good partner for you or of a good marriage, but are only a part of a total picture. If an individual practises the Sunnah only in relation to worship or externals, chances are he /she has not really understood and is not really living Islam. Possessing the affection and Rahmah (mercy) which Islam enjoins between marriage partners is vital for a successful relationship, and these are the important traits to be looked for in a prospective partner. 13. Never consent to engaging in a marriage for a fixed period or in exchange for a sum of money. (Mut'a marriage). Such marriages are expressly forbidden in Islam and entering into them is a sinful act, as marriage must be entered into with a clear intention of it being permanent, for life, not for a limited and fixed duration. If these guidelines are followed, Insha' Allah the chances of making a mistake which may mar the remainder of your life may be minimised. Choosing a marriage partner is a most serious matter, perhaps the most serious decision you will ever make in your life since your partner can cause you either to be successful or to fail miserably, in the tests of this life and, consequently, in the Here- after. This decision needs to be made with utmost care and caution, repeatedly seeking guidance from your Lord. If everything checks out favourable, well and good, best wishes for happiness together here and in the Hereafter. If not, better drop the matter and wait. Allah your Lord knows all about you, His servant, and has planned your destiny and your partner for you. Be sure that He will bring you together when the time is right. As the Qur'an enjoins, you must be patient until He opens a way for you, and for your part you should actively explore various marriage leads and possibilities. Two words addressed to brothers arc In order here. If you are marrying or have married a recent convert to Islam, you must be very patient and supportive with her. Remember, Islam is new to her, and chances are that she will not be able to take on the whole of the Shari'ah at once - nor does Islam require this, if you look at the history of early Islam. In your wife 's efforts to conform herself to her new faith and culture, she needs time and a great deal of support, love, help and understanding from you, free of interference from outsiders. It is best to let her make changes at her own speed when her inner being is ready for them rather than demanding that she do this or that, even if it means that some time will elapse before she is ready to follow certain Islamic injunctions. If the changes come from within herself, they are likely to be sincere and permanent; otherwise, if she makes changes because of pressure from you or from others, she may always be unhappy with the situation and may look for ways out of it. You can help her by being consistent in your own behaviour. So many Muslims apply those parts of the Qur'an or Sunnah which suit them and abandon the rest, with resulting confusion in the minds of their wives and children. Thus, while firmly keeping the reins in your hands, you should look at your own faults, not hers, and be proud and happy with the efforts she is making. Make allowances, be considerate, and show your appreciation of the difficult task she is carrying out by every possible means. This will cause her to love and respect you, your culture, and Islam to grow infinitely faster than a harsh, dominating, forceful approach ever could. Finally, a word of warning. Certain situations have occurred in which women, posing as Muslims (or perhaps actually having made Shahaadah), have deceived and made fools of numbers of Muslim men. Such women may be extremely cunning and devious, operating as poor, lonely individuals in need of help and/or husbands. The brothers who fall into this net may be shown false photos, given false information or promises, cheated in all sorts of ways, and finally robbed of anything the conniving lady can manage to take from them. As was said, it is wise to check out any prospective partner with local Muslims who know her. Keep your eyes open and take your time. Since marriage is for life, for eternity, hurrying into it for any reason whatsoever is the act of a foolish or careless person who has only himself or herself to blame if things go wrong. Back to Path to Islam ...

I LOVED YOUR POEM........... BUT DAMN..... TALK ABOUT AWSOME ONE NIGHT STAND...

yes..... i would feel horrible to vocating while other people in that same region are suffering under that situation

Originally posted by Jumatatu: quote:Originally posted by thalamus: i think your making an excellent point and i fully agree with you... however, everyone is not thinking like you. ................ thalamus Damn this must be an achievement for you....your first post...you compliment a post made by Bari-Nomad three weeks ago, two days before you joined SOL as an Alien. Lool..! keep it up the writting is in the wall... ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: IF I WERE YOU I WOULD SAVE MY BREATH IF I DIDN'T HAVE ANYMORE INTELLIGENT TO SAY..........

Originally posted by Jumatatu: quote:Originally posted by thalamus: i think your making an excellent point and i fully agree with you... however, everyone is not thinking like you. ................ thalamus Damn this must be an achievement for you....your first post...you compliment a post made by Bari-Nomad three weeks ago, two days before you joined SOL as an Alien. Lool..! keep it up the writting is in the wall...

Bari_Nomad -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How can we compare peaceful nations(US/UK), with Somalia which is ruled by dozens of warlords and is attempting to pull itself out of civil war? I find it even more absurd how others can speak of bureaucratic 'efficiency', looking at the state we find ourselves in. Speak to me of 'efficiency', once there are no more Somalis dying due to conflict, children are full and attending school, and some semblence of peace, stability and nationhood have been restored. ............................................ ........................................... i think your making an excellent point and i fully agree with you... however, everyone is not thinking like you. ................ thalamus