^^^I'm glad that you are honest about it bro, and if u can afford it and follow islamic rule, the four positions have been a privilige given to you by our creator. It is funny how naive ppl seem. At least this guy can afford it and his wives have accepted his proposal and he's taking care of his children, which is most of what is required of him. Juba i was aware of the group of men we were talking about, but thanks for setting me straight. Who told you that somali men didn't do it as extensively as the saudis? Or that it wasn't a common costum? Somali men did it back in the day and still do it now, there is nothing new or shocking about that. The only diference is that they do it in a manner that isn't allowed, they can't provide for two households and are yet driven by their urges so they abuse their rights. And usually their wives are the ones that suffer through this because they are the ones left with the care of the children... If the guy was married to 58 women at once i would b shocked, but come on, he is doing it the right way and not deceiving anyone into it. It is a given that he has misunderstood the whole point of it and is bragging about it and his "abilities" to marry when ever he wants, but he is following what islam dictates by caring for the wives and all children. I can be politically correct in the western prescriped way, but the truth of the matter is that men have been given this privilege, and like it or hate it we muslim women must come to terms with it. Og-girl sis i know u get it

Why are we all surprised and disgusted with the behaviour of this arab man when many of our somali men do the same thing on a smaller scale, though they can't afford it. How many times have we seen a wife of 5 struggling abroad and hearing about her husbands extravagent wedding and marriage to a 16yr old while he had told her he was building a future for them back home. Do you think that some of our men wouldn't do the same thing if they had the money for it? Well why not, some do it while they are too broke to care for their current wife(s)

Some of the words being used in here :eek: subxaana laahi, it is disappointing to see what has become of sol So anyway back to the topic, this whole topic would make a nice film, it has a broad appeal. It has intrigue hate/love relations betrayel self adoration(nafta/atfan ) hero/herione, villians and even surpasses language barrieres. Nuune nice one! now you only have to write it into a script and sell it to bollywood, shahrukh khan can play u As for adeer moti i would also say dawaco but she is a kido Adeer it only seems like that cos u is an old geezer dating from the victorin era

lol dr khan is a strange man. If it was my family they would have disconnected my internet and taken away my pc and fone to teach me some edab and aqlaaq And as for that dowry, u can tell the girl aint somali, accepting those fake coins

Salaams sis and wlc, As for ur dilemma, you only mentioned guy #1,3,4 -what about bachelor #2? Seriously though, my mother always says that the guy that was meant for you will come knocking on your door, so don't go after him in a way that would compromise you. The guy ur after might not be the one meant for you. Stop worrying about who is intrested in you- though it must be an ego booster - and who might be hurt and just do what u have to do in life.

It’s all sour canab huh bro I humbly thank u for including me, though it was an unnecessary gesture Honeymoon iyo diamond ring iyo shuqul gaaleedkaas la iguma soo barbaarin, nin waxaas ka dambeeyo neh waa la iska ilaaliyaa oo ragi la yaqaanay intii ka haray midkood ee gabdhaha sida aniga camal reer baadiyaha ah ku duceeystaan... Having said that, modern minded brothers who are sophisticated and who enjoy the trimmings minus the crystal glass Champaign are something of a novelty, so I am sure I will enjoy reading about the views of others when it comes to holidaying and beach trotting like the average western couple . There u have my simple opinion, make of it what u like. Oh swiftly progress moves, and how misinterpreted it is... Sorry to disrupt your soiree bro, do continue

Raula thnx sis, same to you. Wiilo if we are going to be technical we are all on holiday, free from working and studying and Raula could be reffering to us taking a break from the rat race while these gaalo decorate a tree and re-charging for a new year in regards to our daily lives:) But then again, i could be wrong, so explain urself Raula

Thanx for sharing dear, that's cheered me up

Are you kidding me?! just when i thought i had witnessed everything on sol comes a thread directed at particular nomads.... :confused:

Viking bro i can understand your views but as far as i know every individual will be judged on his and her actions-whether they be righ or wrong- i don't think a country as a whole is going to be either doomed or rewarded. What i am trying to say is that maybe not all those rich sheiks are wasting money, laakin only Allah knows what is in the hearts and minds of everyone. However right you are about your dedication to bettering the lives of muslims all around, i don't think views expressed on a forum are going to make a change on how mony is spent by those who have it. Spreading around ideals is great but that doesn't acheve anything but creating a fairy-tale while the world around self distructs. We somalis have enough on our hands without worrying about other nations.

Diamante thank God you managed to get back to the library. If the neighbourhood residents are aware of the danger they should have reported it. Many people just can't be bothered. Moti iyo orgi laqe you guys are terrible! Us females can't afford to joke about things like personal safety because we are more vulnerable than you guys...Though discussing safety isn't as exciting as talking about who is sexy on sol and how to chat up ppl, little advice shared can make a big difference in certain situations..Here is my little list: 1) make sure someone knows your constant where abouts, what time you are supposed to be where and what time you leave to get home etc. 2) never follow a strict daily routine in your journey, the wrong person might identify it. 3)Although the latest craze are those mp3's, it is best to not have a headphone on as it might distract you from the noises that surround you-making it difficult to pick up any unusual noises like approaching footsteps. 4)when using a minicab make sure it a local one and that a family members have the details of the cab head office. Also it is better to book a known cab to pick u up beforehand if going to a wedding and unsure whether transport will b available to bring you back. 5)don't talk on your mobile when strangers are about. when we talk to a friend we usually unwittingly give out personal information that could be used to harm us. If not any new information, i hope that this serves as a reminder to stay alert and safe when out and about.

Bro wlc to sol. Make urself feel at home and post away.

The western world is getting scarier, something as innocent as a picture seen by the wrong people can become lethal. A woman has been targetted for her child because a picture showing her pregnancy was on a website that advertised the dogs she bred. This is just an example of how vulnerable women are to crime, no matter what sort of crime. here is the article Wixi noo qoran qof naa celin karo aaba jirin laakin it scares me to read these sorts of stories. Now that it gets dark quite early my own shadow scares me, we females have to be careful and make sure we know everyone around us, so that we immediatly know when someone seems to be following us and whether we are in a crowded place or not. Most of us londoners use the public transport and don't have the advantage of a car, so we have to do a bit of walking between our destination and our chosen transport. Even those sisters who drive have to be careful their doors are locked when they are on a desserted road stuck infront of a traffic light and so on... What kind of precautions do you girls take when home alone? What do you do when ur stuck in college or work and everyone has long gone by the time you get out of the building? Do you carry something to protect you like pepperspray or do you have a group you travel with? Lets share ideas of how to keep the odds in our favor girls, and more importantly, let's stay safe!

Dress maker cloth thy self, farmer feed thy family and so on, or something like that....All of u have an opinion on something that has nothing to do with you. You might as well be discussing the structure of buckingham palace-whether to change the exterior or not- discus it till u see red but your opinion means less than nothing because it isn't your country nor is it your money Any simpleton can have these sorts of discussion, what is needed is action and where it is needed is in your own country.. LST nice topic, was this the reaction you were hoping for?

Everyone is very nice in giving the sister their take on the whole thing, but isn't it a little bit late to participate in this discussion? :confused:

There is a programme on one of the bbc channels that got me thinking about being “Somali†whether one is born in the northern or southern regions. The programme is poignantly titled “who do you think you are†and follows celebrities around while they trace their family tree and try to discover what their ancestors where like. It is ironic how easily we Somalis can achieve that feat and how our pride in our family lines has brought about the ruins of us. Instead of seeing it as a way to tap into the history of our nation, we have used it to set up a hierarchy that defines our place in society. It is naturally laughable that the hierarchy is set up differently in each tribe, with the said tribe being at the pinnacle of the tribal tree. This firm believe of “my family is the best therefore I am the best†seems to have turned us into a nation of id!ots who are tribe controlled, many of whom have killed and molested in the name of a man that existed once upon a time. Putting it that way is oversimplifying the issue, granted, but isn’t that what the tribal system comes down to when one removes all the glorified details? After a decade and a half of bloodshed a long overdue government has been chosen, we have made a break through, now things will be better. But hold on, the chosen government has not been chosen by the people, who each wanted a clan member for president so that they and their family could prosper. After all that time of negotiation we now have a government that can’t govern. I, like many, hope that the government works out well, never mind the fact that it is made out of people with their own interests in mind. As long as they achieve what they have been selected for, who really cares right? Whether they posses the Herculean will power to do so remains to be seen. Still, not all Somalis are useless hen wits who have more brain cells than they know what to do with. There is yet hope for us, in the form of all those over qualified and over opinionated nomads abroad, me being one of them, who have been empowered by their western upbringing and education. Surely, they will all return to build up the country and help disperse the overvalued tribal system. Since all of us speak more than one language and are highly qualified in our chosen fields, with the added bonus that we posses a great appreciation for a land of our own, how can we not succeed? Quite easily actually, just go and look at the political forum of each Somali run website and the hate spewed there. This includes our own sol. It seems like a cliché, but it still stands that you can take a Somali away from any tribal system but that you can never take the inbred sense of tribal pride out of the Somalis. Instead of learning from the pain inflicted on our nation, of the uselessness of each Somali individual being related to a war casualty or knowing a victim sought out for his/her last name and family tree. Witless individuals who never experienced the anguish of having to flee ones home in fear for ones life are arrogant enough to stand up and defend ignorant opinions. Who can blame them, their families have been spared. This gives them the privilege to have crude discussions about things that they know little about, albeit in a political context. The whole Somalia-Somali land argument is a prime example of this. Personally I don’t care whether there is a separation of states or not, if it helps some of our people better themselves then so be it, as far as I care. However I have no respect whatsoever for those in western countries who advocate for and against separation between the north and south of Somalia. The deluded Somali Landers who use the poor people killed in the south to showcase how they are superior as region/country give good people from the north a bad name. Thank god those hateful creators are in minority. As for the equally deluded proud southerners who believe that they will bring the north to heel, they need a serious reality check. Instead of thinking about how to break the vicious circle we have found ourselves in, people waste time dreaming up heroic scenarios that stem from misguided notion of nationalistic pride, instead of trying to act as humans and help those who are trapped in a Somali-made hell on earth. My ranting is bordering the obnoxious by now and I could go on for quite some time. I am not a westernised girl who wants to disassociate herself from her roots. Being Somali isn’t all bad and I don’t think I would be anything else if given the choice. What bothers me is that for people who have so much potential and who have their faith to guide them, we have made such a mess of things and we are still at it. In a time when we should have been learning from mistakes made we are still making more. I, for one, want my children to have a secure sense of who they are. But by the rate we Somalis are going, that isn’t likely to happen and it angers me. According to a diplomat involved with the peace agreements in Somalia the world “must think out of the box for Somaliaâ€. It seems that we appear to be a different breed calling for drastic and customized actions. The article itself is very informative, if somewhat condescending. It shows how we Somalis still have a long way to go to achieve normality. Why is it that when other people meet us we are the epitome of civilization, when we seem to be savages amongst each other? With many back home having blood on their hands and many having been influenced by life abroad, how are we Somalis ever going to come to a common agreement? Will we have a country to be proud of within our life time? What is the ideal solution for our country and when will we find it, I can’t help but wonder. If you have a better insight into how things will turn out according to you, please share. *Do forgive me if I have gone a bit overboard with some of my descriptive words. Feel free to call me on it and correct me if you disagree with any points made.

salaams ppl, nice one diamante, some things are just meant to be, like love and drinking and driving

checkmate, ik vind je behoorlijk lelijk- i think you are veery nice

lool@ you lot! the guy feels bad for making such a silly joke...I hope to god i never make all of you angry Messenger, mar dambe ha u noqon or Allah help u!

nafta meid, schaam je -nafta, u soo nice girl Ok let me elaborate on nafta's lesson on basic dutch... Je bent een kip zonder kop-you are organised like a mother hen. Waar kom je vandaan?-where do you come from? Je doet me denken aan Z-piet- you have a nice complexion. Wat er ook gebeurt- wat ever happens Helaas pinda kaas-tough luck Sukkel- smart a.s.s Lekker ding- nice person godverdomme-bless us Waar kan ik ________ vinden- where can i find (fill in the blanks) jan alleman- anyone in particular toonje komt om zn loontje- little toon (a name) gets what he deserved. ouwehoeren- talk about anything and everything Het spijt me- i am sorry Vergeef me- forgive me.. Nafta, dat verdient een bloemetje, toch?

I absolutely adore Saado Cali. She exudes glamour and elegance and is absolutely gorgeous. The way she dresses, the way she dances and moves around the stage, a true star as far as i care *gone of to create a fanclub*

Thanks to all that replied, the good, bad and funny Garab tuujiye lol, I’m not in Il capo’s league as I can’t develop fiction like that, but u have had such a colourful life. maybe our esteemed creative team can turn it into a soap opera Nafta, in die tijd was nl nog leuk en alles zo gezelig en in orde, maar nu is er teveel waantrouw tussen de mensen Mutakalim you have hit the nail on its head. It takes a long while to realize how these things have created a character. And perhaps the unwise decisions made go on to create the weaker aspects of our personalities. If Fatima died and was reborn she would in essence be the same person, i.e. have the same personal qualities and react the same on situations. But if Fatima had to recreat memories and was surrounded by people she has never encountered before, she would be faced with new prospects, new challenges and new experiences. This would naturally produce new memories and Fatima would be shaped into a new individual due to the people she has been exposed to and the different situations she had to deal with. This Fatima, though still an extension of her former self, wouldn’t identify herself with the same things she once did, because she has developed in a different way. It is nature versus nurture I think, nurture overriding nature. I hope my ramblings made sense. My mind is dulled by the Friday afternoon laziness, so do bear with me.

Everything I experience nowadays seems to have a glossy coating of memories attached to it. That song I once love that came on the radio again after five years, my sister getting a take away kebab that tastes exactly like something I had while surrounded by good friends chattering away, the way each day seemed remarkable poignant. All that seems to be gone, and rather than creating new memories, dwelling on all things past seems preferable. Education was a sideline of life and school was attended to catch up with friends and discuss the programme that was on the night before. Indulging in teenage tendencies, talking on the phone for hrs on end with people I had seen just an hour ago was a must. And of course, the class room consensus. We were a horrible bunch. Our poor first year French teacher was very sweet and looked like a wood nymph, with long her down her lower back waving around her as if to protect her from the taunts. She always tried so hard, but with her pleasing ways she never had a chance. She left before the year was done, of course. The first year came and went in the midst of camping trips, disco nights and get togethers. It was so wonderful, getting to know everyone and feeling at home. Though it makes me embarrassed to remember my behaviour on hindsight, there was the deluded sense of popularity. How easy it came and how fast it changed. It happened unconsciously that from a group of friends I became best friends with another girl and everyone else was on the outer circle. She was fun and we would do the craziest things and were always laughing. Though I doubt I would befriend her now, at that time in my life it was such an exhilarating feeling, just being and acting mad. Others always surrounded us; oh how it irritated us. How horrible we were to those who got on our nerves, and how bad I could feel about it now. There were two girls in particular who were told that even though we liked hanging around with them, they were lingering around for too long and should find other sources of entertainment. At the time it was justified, but it must have made them feel bad. Maturity was lacked and sophistication took back seat to fun. At the beginning though, there was a third member of my “groupâ€. She and I would always meet up at weekends and go to the cinema together. She wanted to be just as fun loving as us, but felt left behind by the other girl and I. She started to change, her father storming into one of the school events and taking her home because he wasn’t happy with her. She was Turkish and blamed me for her father seeing her talking to a guy. Very unreasonable considering the fact that I was no way near her, but we were friends, forgiveness came easy first time around. Not long after I started hearing stories from my other friend how the first was gossiping about me and ended up having many arguments with her. It was sad, but soon enough everyone started to dislike her because of her moody ways. Still, it didn’t help her that we dubbed her “aangespoelde walvis†meaning beach stranded whale. In those days everything was less serious and had less consequence. There were no grey areas just bright pink and bright green. Now everything is serious. Making decisions is hard and there are so many things that need to be taken under consideration. And in the midst of this, I end up remembering million minutes like the ones I have shared with you today. At the time they were so fleeting, but now they are frozen in time and out of my reach. Every little thing can be connected to them. The report card I got, the old school newspaper, even the cup with the school logo on it. Everything is drenched with memories. It is infuriating to realise how serious I am now, though I can’t determine whether there was a time when I wasn’t serious. The truth of the matter is that those little incidents have formed me as a person, and I didn’t even know it at the time. So now I know, I keep dwelling on the memory of it.

My mother has this saying she is fond of. "nin waa la helaa, wiil neh waa la dhalaa walaalkeey macaanoow".(i hope i said it right, always sounds better from mummy's pov) Basically you can find a second love and even get more children, but ur siblings are irreplacable, as the saying goes.

Walahi there will be a great loss to the ISLAMIC and somali culture...and JAMAICANS KNOW.. Bro you are out of order, from what i see ur the one with the lude taste of humor and western concept of discussin and even jokin abt sex. I dnt pretend to know the diin insight out, but surely islam doesn't condone it. Waxaad ku fakatay in aad nin tahay, or else u would have been in that list of those with the jamaican admirers i am sure. With ur liberated ideas of sex and all. Bro me and u will never see eye to eye, u see, i believe in common decency. So ii baashaal, keep goin with ur tasteless jokes, and we will c where they get u.