welcome back serenity. We been missing you for real. Indeed, calaf is a scapegoat. A lame one too.

Is Uchi Liqaaye horta? If he isn't, and he doesn't sound like him runtii, where is Liqaaye?

kismet. Thanks Ngonge for enriching my vocabulary. So, the scapegoat is not a sole somali franchise? In a way, with somalis, it is the first things you say when you know the flirting will go nowhere. Hadaan calaf isku leenahay, waan is helaynaa. it usually means, until I find someone better inoo wad sheekada. For example, if you are deployed to a tuulo for flood response and have to stay there for over two months, you will find a village beauty. Nervous about your imminent departure, she will most likely ask "maxaa qorshe ah?". The seasoned ones used to relply" qorsheeye waa ilaahay, inagu waynu iska nool nahay uun, he knows what will happen". P.s. I checked the meaning of Kismet. Instead of wasting words, they could simply have said "like the way Chelsea won the champions league cup this year". It was kismet. Messi missing a penalty? Robben missing it too? Holding Barca with 10 men? All those shots missed by Bayern?

It has no colour, timeline, weight or meaning. No one has empirically confirmed its existence or relevance. But it is pervasive, comes in all vernaculars and cools hearts, soothes raging minds. It is called Calaf. The closest English word is “fate” or “destiny”, if my Victorian-age English is to be trusted. When men break pledges and promises, when girls in far places get impatient and take other men, they all say it is Calaf. “Calaf baa na kala geeyey”, “calaf ayaanaan isku lahayn” etc. It is the most tolerated scapegoat in the Somali peninsula. I recall the instances I, myself, have suffered because of it or rejoiced because of it. When Ifraax jilted me, after I waited for four years, for that pot-bellied man from Canada, it was not because she thought I will never earn as much as he had. It was calaf, it was not greed. When I married cudbi, four nights after Ruun made me swear in the name of Allah holding the quran that I will marry her, it was not betrayal, because Cudbi had longer neck and fairer colour than Ruun. It was calaf! Only this week, when Jaamac married a hot young girl, on top of his previous three, he said it was calaf; not the result of an animalistic bahaviour that makes him sleep with whoever he desires under nuptial pretentions. It is a word that expiates infidelity, doublespeak, scheming and opportunism. It is a very important word, one that lessens the pain of rejection and the guilt of unfaithfulness.

anigoo ku hadlaya beelaha SOL looga tirada badan yahay ee Somaligalbeed waxaan aad ugu mahad naqayaa Paragon inuu naga aqbalo codsigii ahaa in uuna meesha nagaga tagin oo meeshu noqon "maatidii iyo waxaa isugu hadhay naag la murankiiye". :D

Heesti "Please don't go" ahayd aniga iyo Chimera ayaa bilaabnay, markaa intii kale ee nagu raacsan ah inay kaalintooda ka soo dhalaalaan ayaan uga fadhinaa. Nin la araareeyey oo qabsoomi waayey nin ma aha, so Isse will have no option. Chimera is clever and I think his request matters.

People, what is this goodbay baloney? This is not "anybody" leaving! It is not like Uchi and Peasant are bidding us farewell!!!!! This is Isse also Paragon also shabeel-naagood, one of the wisest and most vibrant members of SOL. Ma tagi karo anagoon ka tashan oo aan go'aan wadajir ah qaadan. Paragon, bal go'aanka SOL dib uga noqo intaan Nairobi isagu imanayno ee aan ka tashanayno. Hadii +or slightly - 40 gii meesha ka yaacaan, dee forumka magaciisa waa in la badalaa oo loo bixiyaa 'maaweelada caruurta", anagana mushahar nalagu siiyaa "maaweelo fiican macalinoow ii sheeg..." :D

Who told you there is no internet in Somalia? Jooji warkan goodbye SOLers. There is no scientifc connection between you going to somalia and not posting on SOL. You may have decided to call it a day as far as SOL is concerned. But that decision has no relevance to your return to Somalia. Adeer meesha ha nagu cidleeyn dee. Raggii waa weeynaa haday iskaga tagaan, ma King of Kings iyo Somalia ayaan maalin walba is hortaagnaana? Iyo waxaan waxba dhaamin oo Burahaadeer iyo Uchi oo miidhan ah? :D Ciise, hadaad Naiorbi timaadid na soo raadi dee walaal. I am sure you will enjoy Somalia more than qurbaha. I just can't imagine how people live in the western countries. Life is in Africa and the coming years will prove this. While Europe is a dying continent, Africa is a growing one.

I am not justifying or rationalising anything. I am just stating few facts, unpalatable they may be though. The rusting goes both sides, but the women take old men than men take old women on the side. It is demand science that is at work. :D

Juxa;835568 wrote: Of course one needs a bargaining tool. See this from logical point of view, if farax knew he got a diamond of a wife and dahab of children and he cont replace them, he would think twice before calling number qalad ah (aaheey) This statement is a bit oxymoronic. In real carnal valuation terms, a wife cannot remain diamond when she has children dahab ah. There is an inherent contradiction here, because the process of bringing out the gold makes the diamond to rust (conceptually if not physically). Markaa, hawa gadis wuu isaga baahan odaygu! Seriously, most men who are cheating know that they got gold and diamond at home, but they long for a bit of emerald somewhere and they think the risk is worth it. They also count on the diamond not finding out about the emerald. And if she does, the intervention of odayaal is also another consideration. They know they will not lose the diamond so easily.

Malika, ugaaso, you are right qof tuug ah ma waayayo si uu wax u xado. But the effectiveness of checking on men when they go out is not the discussion here. No woman can effectively control a man. The issue is will you not try to investigate if you get some leads on him, let us say because people told you something about your hubby? I belive most people will! That is what I was trying to say.

Juxa, I said Malika is influenced by the Sawaaxili culture. What she said is simply not acceptable. I think wifes should know what men do when we go out. They should and the men should not find this bothersome.

In fact, I did not save Khadro's number at all. I wrote it in my agenda book and I type the numbers when I want to call. looooooooool@ Alpha's name. Speaking of this, JB made a big blunder the other day when he was talking to me on the phone. Anigoo talafoonka speaker ku hadlaya ayuu yidhi hebla (gabadh aanu isbaranay laakin wax kale naga dhexeeyn) waxay lahayd xagu ka dhacay odaygii saaaxiibkaa ahaa. I rushed the discussion to another agenda,and that was it. The cheater he is, he instantly knew things are not ok and went along the new agenda, which was a bit out of the sequence of the discussion. :D The swahilis, believe the husband is yours once he is indoors, he is any ones when he is out and about..Loool. You see Malika, the same way the Amxaaro cultute influences me the Sawaaxili does to your thinking. What you said, living in blissful rational ignorance, is not only unacceptable, it is actually irresponsible. Especially in this age. I subscribe to the rational ignorance line of thought only in religion.

Malika and Juxa, I am trusting. In fact, a lot. Not only on marriage issues, but in social life. The biggest worry of my mom is I will be betrayed by a person i trusted and will end up in bad situation!! Qof aana aamini karin one night naag iima ahaateen. Laakin when it comes to men, I advise you to be alert,just a little bit. We, men, are too complex and dynamic in our love quest! Maybe I am a bit more suspicious than the average faarax because I grew up in a culture where they say "Maa manum lay kafaa, indhiyaaw tinish tertir" (which translates to: While it is not bad to trust, it is wise to have slight suspicions"). kkkkkkkkkkkk By the way, I do not believe trust/suspicion is something that comes by default. It is the other person who creates them for you. Naag adigoo shaah la cabaya talafoon lagu la soo hadlay oo tidhaa "saloonkii baa timaha la iigu hagaajinayaa ee markaan dhamsyto ayaan kula soo hadli", and then looks at you and says "hooyo ayey ahayd", yaa aamin kara? Not me. Blessed, No, I am absolutely old school. I do not even call and say sideed tihiin to the wives of my friends, let alone joke around. honey, iyo hi hebla iyo waxaas I find them not only disgusting but a sign of moral depravity. Nin oday ah iyo naag marwo ah wax la yidhaa dadka aaminsan baan ahay. For me, grilfriends are for fun, not wives. :D by the way, the old women are right. As A man of many years old, I can count the number of men loyal to their wives in my fingers. Walaahi, most men are not! That I know. I believe I am, relatively - I repeat relatively, one of the loyal ones. kkkkk

waanu daalnay walaal. Boqol jeer oo hore ayaanu ku welcome gareeynay, markaa welcome'taadu ma talaalka teetanada oo kale sidiisa in markaan dhiig cusub aragno ee aad shaadhka soo badalatidba ma inaanu welcome nidhaabaa? Adeer Somalia, naga dhaaf ciyaarta iyo IP addresska ha la check gareeyo as if we don't know you have many gadgets.

^ I didn't know women always know! Seriously, I think they would know. Qofku markuu corruption ku jiro xagga reerka, signs yar yar oo la arko ayaa jira. He or she will lie about small things that really shouldn't have mattered: like where are you now? eh..meel.. eh magaranaysid.. qaar yidhaa baan arkay. Ayoub, funny you say that, I was about to say ma chinese baa kaagu walaahi. War nin dhan oo Somalilander ah baa Dubai maalinkuu soo baxay iiga keenay. Kaagan u maleyn inuu yahay iphone (made in Somaliland ah). Wuu jiraa ee la soco.

I see your problem, Alpha. I am now known to at least three SOLers. A fourth one (Sharmarke) waaan balansan nahay coming weeks. It is kind of difficult once you are known. In a way such revealtions defeat the purpose of online personality. But then you can still invent a persona alien to you and enjoy the cyber world. The friends will soon learn the split personality (one for the real world, the other for the cyber world). But also you have to know some of your online behaviour can give a vital clue as to your real personality. I mean if you are not funny in real life, you cannot be funny online. If you are not polite online, you probably may not be polite elsewhere too. If you do not tell off people with silly pretentions online, you may be a meek guy who wants to please everyone online. I say you maybe, not you are, because it is quite possible to be everything you are not in real life on cyber life. You can even be funny by borrowing people's jokes! What am I saying? Just a palaver. The thing is Alpha, if you have nothing to post, just don't post. You have no obligation to post everyday or every week. Some months you will get many things you think you should share, some months you completely dry up. It is very NORMAL. Laakin adigu sidaad miskiin isaga dhigtid in real life uma tihid. You are somewhere between the Alpha online and the real "C" i saw in Hargeisa. We met twice and stayed for some hours togather, so was my impression. Trust your impression about me too; first impressions matter. I may join you for a full month there soon, by the way. War Guri ii sii raadi furnished ah agtaada, hotel 'martidu' naguma soo booqan kartee! :D

Juxa;835474 wrote: I dont agree with checking your wife/husband's phone. I was brought up with the notion of digsi d*a*d*a*n* waligaa ha fiiran unless you have the permission of the cook to me going through pockets, bank statements, telephone bills waa tuuganimo, i consider it theft, violation of basic privacy walahi. it would never cross my mind to look, i simply refuse to live that way. This is fairytale! And you know i Juxa. The thing is you do not have to search your partners gadgets and pockets. Such things do not start like that. You only do that or hesitate to do it, if you are sufficiently in doubt things are not in order. So, it is easy to say such catagorical 'i will not check anything' when you are not in a state of confusion or suspicion. That said, It is highly unlikely that your partner (wife or husband) will not come across something that is private for you while you are living togather. If that is the case, it is an odd marriage. Your wife or husband can discover or see (accidentally or trying to help) messages on your phone, receive calls for you while you are in shower or sleeping and you were expecting a 'normal' caller. Or you leave your computer for a while and the wife sees your incoming emails or facebook account. Actually, if she is not suspecting anything bad, she may actually decide to just have a look at your friends on facebook or etc. It is very NORMAL. There is a difference between privacy and hiding things. If I notice my wife is apprehensive about her phones, cuts incoming calls, or runs to the kitchen to answer some phones or strange things, I SURE will get suspicious and if I am suspicious I will not lie to you, I will try to know what is going on. I will do so, because I have to make a decision and I canot allow to make such a decision on the basis of a hunch or guess. I will try to know if my suspicions are right or reasonable and if I find out they are, it is the END OF the story. In this age of AIDS and HIV, there is no second chance! Markaa Juxaa hadaad shakidid maxaad sameeyn? you say I am thought not to be 'theif' and put your life in danger for the sake of respecting a social moral code 'of not intruding into the privacy of others"? Ayoubd, Iphone 4. clear markuu kuu soo baxo you get the list of all calls (with red stop-like mark) and then on the top side you will see EDIT. All you have to do is touch the number you want (meesha cas ee STOP sign u eg taabo) and then the DELETE option comes up automatically. Why am I teaching cheaters how to delte calls? :D Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any deletion of numbers of cheating that takes place as the result of this advice.

Blessed, for someone who wants to cheat, the sky is the limit in terms of tactics. Not being able to delete a call received is not an effective deterrent. He can have other ways of getting to his illegal lover. I was only assisting him in technological terms; not to encourage him to delete phones. By the way, it is true sometimes you want to delete some messages. For example, if you send money to a long-time friend and you get thanks I received the money at a time the wife was accusing you of wasting money, you sure want to delete the message. :D Or from a relative of yours (lacag aan la isku ogeyn hadaad dirto kkkkkk). The other instance is when a male friend of you sends you a cheeky message on some issues you talk about which you know you shouldn't be! Honestly, the only time I have faced something of a mild embarassment was when a young somali girl oo ku kulanay workshop ii soo dirtay "are you free on saturday?" message. I think she may have thought I can find her a better job or whatever, sidaa unbaan u maleyn. The wife saw it, but did not say anything. I knew the message was read after I got my phone back and also fromthe puzzled face of wifey. In wax si yihiin baan fahmay. Then, without saying anything, I waited for a while, and sent a message back to the same number. "No. saturday's I take my family out. Sunday too. You can call me on Monday or anyday during the working days". Ileen waa la shakisnaaye, the message was later read and only then was I asked: "haa, waan arkay fariin aan fahmi waayey laakin waxaan is idhi waxba ha waydiin". And a proud husband replied 'it is someone I met in a workshop. I think she wants to speak to me about work-related issues". Allah knows how I felt bad that day because I thought I may have brought suspicion disease into the house!

GaroweGal;835414 wrote: These are the sort of girls that make it to Abtigiis phone list under the pretentious name of 'Burhakaba Police Station', so Abtigiis wasn't lying there are young single woman willing to have an illicit affair with married men. You men are NOT to blame. ... Plenty of them! Plenty! hadaad run dooneysid. It is not the supply but the level of responsibility on the part of the man that nowadays determines how many illicit affairs he can have, with young girls willing to sleep with a married man. Having said this, Somalia's new script -idol- is exciting. He is trying to project a more amenable personality in this new edition.

MMA, You can delete a call on the iphone. Go to recent calls, then Edit, then you get see the recent calls with a red (like stop) sign on the left side, touch it, and then the horizontal white line in the stop sign becomes vertical, then you will see a delete option on the right corner. U sheeg saaxiibkaa. He can delete one or two calls without erasing all recent calls.

Faroole’s petulant denunciation of the Istanbul meeting is actuated by irreverent self-importance, never by irreverent politics by Southerners. Mark my words. Dry Puntland will soon be hoisted by its own petard of sowing seeds of malice and division. After all, Faroole is the mayor of Garowe in real terms, only hermeneutically linked to power over puntland, not through real control of its territory. He does not rule Sool and Saang, or Galgala and its environs, or Galackyo or seething Bossaso. And soon he will learn pushing too many clan politics is playing a Russian roulette. Soon he will grabble with resurgent Omar, determined to put Isse to his insignificant political box. Puntland’s saving lie, to quote Joseph Conrad, is that it is the epicenter of Somali politics and nothing moves forward, if its fingerless clan fascist doesn’t lift his remaining fingers. It will soon crumble as the saving lie finally dies, brutally killed by a chastising reality. The uproar against Istanbul was mainly coming from the secular wing of the TFG, which thinks the Ala-Sheikh is taking roots in Somali politics. The Ala-Sheikh, if you do not know, is many things to many people: Islamic militants in modern coats; nationalist Somalis in touch with the real issues facing Somali people; a Southern clique grabbing power through a mix of politics, economics and religion etc. The real threat to Somalia’s future is not Ala-Sheikh, or their supposedly extremist views, if you ask me. The majority of these men may be from the south, which makes Faroole nervous. They may have some strong islamic views, but they are individuals who understand that pandering to western interests is not going to save Somalia. They are people who are wary of 20 years of western theatrics. They are determined to seek other allies and ideas. They may not be perfect but they are better than those who seek salvation from Mahiga and his mercenary politics. Yunis, Xinn maanta oo kale la ma helo. Shirka ka danbeeya Istanbul meesha lagu qabanayo ayuu soo daraaseeynayaa. And then he will come here and say "ya Jamaaca, calm down. Faroole's outcry is normal. It is about the MANAMA conference. The process is moving forward. Faroole is only trying to show the Turks the way forward. blah blah."

Infact were it not for PM Abdiweli interjecting last minute, a faction of the TFG were to issue a statement condemning Turkey! So sad, indeed. So sad. As to Faroole, we have been saying he is fool and all....but in times when the somali political intelligence is personified by people like Uchi who listens to us?

Juxa, dhaaxaan meeshan sheeko baralay isku eryanee bal aan dhab wax uga wada hadalno. 1) I don't think the issues of martial abuse against women can be discussed without considering the education and economic aspects of the subject women. Inta badan haweenka lagu qasbo inay nin abusive ah la joogaan waxa qasbaya ma aha hadalka dadka (ama bulsho-weynta ama reerkooda) ee waa pure economics. They simply have no exit doors. I said inta-badan. 2) Haduu ninku naag kale guursdao iyo haduu cheating zinna ah samaynayo xagga ilaahay way kala duwan yihiin laaakin health-wise waa isku risk. Anigu uma arko in modern life'ka ay suurto-gal tahay in laba naagood la guursan karo. (I now expect a tongue-lashing from Takfiiri's and islamic zealots in this forum). 3)From the sample I have (which is big) gabadh lala guursday emotionally waa dead for the rest of her life if she still stays in that marriage. Although divorce is a bit more painful for the children than polygamy. 4) Hadii gabadha la heshiin waayo, waxaan qabaa in la kala tago inay ka fiican tahay in la is dhibo oo guur kale iyo wax aan micno lahayn lagu meeraysto 5) Waxaa kale oo aan qirayaa in hadii caruur jirto ay haboon tahay in xaalad kasta oo lagu badbaadin karo reerka la sameeyo waxaan ka ahayn in la ogolaado nin ama naag gogol-dhaaf samaynaysa iyo in naag moral aan hayn ay iska dugsato caruur. Waxbaan is dhex dhigay baan u maleyne wax miyaad ka fahantay?

Juxa, Soomaalidu AIDS inuu ku dhici karo maba aaminsana. At least dadkaan arkay anigu. I am sure there will be a big catastrophe soon in many places I know (eastleigh included). And the sad thing is the innocent ones are the most vulnerable. Kuwa gogolaha ka bood-booda waxoogaa way og yihiin halista oo some even take some precautions. Laakin waxaad maqlaysaa hebel gabadhi hebel furay buu guursaday shalay, and you wonder whether they have gone for test before becoming man and wife! I personally find cheating not as a sexual issue but as much higher matter of individual dignity and trustworthiness. It violates the cardinal rule that you do not lie to a person who trusted you. And you can sense how hurting that is, if you imagine you are the one being lied to. Perhaps that explains why I do have different behaviours when I am in a marriage and when I was not! That moral deterrent of knowing you are lying to someone who think you are good person is key to live an honest life. looooooooooooooooooo@blessed haday taa gaadho waaban u duceeyn! :D I did not say all men will cheat at one point in their life. But I know the urge will come at one point. How many of you actually guess what my position is on men who abuse their marriage? I am bellicose! Even if there are 10 children, the women should leave such a man. The thing is, it is about life and death nowadays!