If anyone was to elevate the parameters of Somalia’s notoriously reducible identity politics to a whole new amusing levels, it was only going to be the mirthful Khatumoites. Who else! “Ask NOT what Khatumo can do for you, ask what YOU can do for Khatumo” reads the tag line of http://khaatumastate.com/. It is a rendition of Kennedy’s patriotic punch line, only altering the subject of the statement and making it a rallying war chant for an “aggrieved” clan waiting for the second coming of the era of horses and zealot Sheikhs. The arrival of the horsemen prefigures the return of lost grandeur and chivalry. Recalcitrant northern infidel clans will get repaid in full for the horrors they inflicted on the sleeping nobility – the progeny of the Daraawish. Victory is certain, for the enemies could not fathom the might and marvel they are soon to face: the inimitable kids of Khatuumo. For evidence, all you need to do is click on the “khatumo kids” entry in the website. The cartoon that plays is foreboding. These kids are unlike any in the Somali peninsula. They don’t drink milk when they are born. They get boiled ribs from selected goats as their first meal at birth. They eat the enlivining special “KH-Meal” which is also in the same website. You do not have to be smart to imagine what these special breed of kids could do. At the age of 2, they can mount a speeding horse with ease, and throw poisoned arrows up to 70 meters. “I am being led in Taleex without honour, As though I am a slave from Zenj…” Khatumoites may as well have already adapted these lines from the poem of the Arab historian Abu Makhuaf who decried his mistreatment in Damascus. But surely such humilation is going to be history soon. And the Khatumoites do no need a magical qilin - that legendary, single-horned animal with the body of a deer and and the tail of an ox, which medieval China fabled as an omen of the arrival of imperial virtue, wisdom and renaissance. My Daraawish cousins have the the magical, mysterious, horse-riding, bone-munching kids who will soon be unleashed! Secessionists beware!

Horta gabadha afka ka jeedi adiga salaanta kaama qaadeene!! Siday u socoto ma eegtay horta mise kuwa horey horey u foorarsada ee gacanta tuura ala laafyo camal ayey kuugu baxdaa? She is ok waryaa, I see a bit down the tires are a bit lean laakiin duuduub waa maraysaa inanta!

NY, @ 3: 36 the one he followed is irresistible!! Waa kuwii lagugu xidhi jiray! Basically, the guy tries all medication couldn't get over the addiction and decides to relocate to the rural areas. He says "daale la katama, eninem la duru" (booty to the town, me to the forest). What he seems to forget he will find it even in the village.

Comedian Tilahun Elfineh won his moment of fame during the Ethio-Eritrean war when he composed a war chant called "Ashaw"! He is mainly a comedian but has a nice voice too. In this song, I like the first parts when he says: Gobazu yi rootaal, la zina la agaru Nagaadew yisaraal la edget la biruu Arashu yi dakmaal la sabil la zaru Yeneee gin lela new wadii naw Mistiru Ya ayne qum nagaru daale tiru tiru.... Meaning: The brave ones run for their country, for fame Businessmen work hard for growth and money Farmers get tired to produce crops and seed But mine is an affliction here is the enigma The essence of my eyes is the best among the best booties!

Maya! oo ileen ceebti dhacday kuuma sheegin? :D Soo iyadoo tii yarayd tu kale la socota maan arag maalin dhawyd! Oo ileen show ta kalena wakhti hore ayaan ku idhi ma isla qadeeynaa? Waa ta tidhi uun hey when is lyour unch! It is overdude by six months. Tii yared siday ii eegtay...if looks could kill! Marwo jooji dagaalka mise ...baan wacaa? Anigu kuwa gaalada ka war qaata ma ihi. Adiiga iyo Juxa iyo Ibti ayaan waxan aan ka hadlayey u arkayey inaan anigu alifay, markaa I was saying now that the NYT is reporting, I thought you northerners would give it a serious look.

:D :D looool@ maxaad anaga naga rabtaa !! Marwo Blessed furkay tuurtay! Can't say I haven't budgeted for this; ilaa shalay have been provoking her. Iyada iyo cidda kale ee ay leedahay "anaga"!

Juxa, I got Baashe's drift. I am not daft. But I also know he didn't mean to be mean to me. It was his way of encouraging me to go a bit on this thing. Got that! That is why I said I amo fickle as you think to run after this! I LIKE Ibti. I admire her and that is why I named my daughter after her. Nothing I heard about her has changed my initial impression.

Waraa Nin-Yaaban, xikmadaada waan naqaan waa o' I was in Maine, no just off the 54 Avenue....iyo don't do this, you will be arrested! That is what you contribute to this site, yet you have the temerity to say AT has nothing useful to share. Each time you spew one location in US or a name of a village in the West, you think you have shared with us a ground-breaking theory. You mistake names of cities for ideas, you mistake cautionary tales of an-ex convict who learned the hard way as words of wisdom. Thread'ka qas ka kala dhex bax.

No, Baashi, I am not as fickle as you think. There is nothing to milk here. I have always known that social science is a manipulated facility and have never taken such researchs seriously. I trust my own experience and the experiences of those around me which I observe in a time-series way. So, the NYT piece does not add anything I didn't know nor does I agree with the "do this-do that" in order to overcome the fatigue of monogamy....I think that is rubbish. This piece will be an eye-opener for Juxa, Blessed, and the girls who take me as a sex maniac for saying what is pretty much a common knowledge. Even Norf can benefit from this article. For now, he prides himself of being young and immune to these temptations, but let us give him another couple of years and then we shall check on him! :D

Wadani;895858 wrote: Haatu, labadani iyagaa iska kaa xiga. Oodi ab ka wayn bay Soomaalidu tidhaahdaa. Warkaasaan ka hela aniga...abaabow abaabow...waa buubaa badaa galaa! So true wadani. Alpha ayaa iga xiga Haatu. That old poem oo nin rer-waqooyi ah tiriyey ma hayo miyaa Haatu?: Agaaa iyo eegga haduu yidhaa waa is afgaranaaye Afmadoow markii lagu daraan nacay Ogaa.deene

Tonight, laba gabdhood oo HAG ah ayaa marti gurigayga iigu ah as unseemly as it is. Abti baa loo yahay baa la yidhi; dameerahanagu ina isa saartaan xitaa ma moodi jirin. Could be an Oba Hilowle project to smoke me out?!

When we say it, Juxa goes for our neck and says it is ciyaalsuuqnimo. So does Ibtisam. But when New York times or any white man says it, it is research, it is knowledge to be cherished!

War ileen tankoo kale!! War Ibti is talking about education and empowerment and these are not the preserve or impositions of whites!! She is not talking about men telling women not to wear trousers!! Why twist what she is saying. I disagree with her that the bad counsel of the men who teased the young girl for thinking about going to office is to do with being a small. It is about not being educated enough or lack of exposure. But I agree with her such attitude is pervasive and stifles our collective development as a society. Ibti- either you have given up on me as unsalvageable outcast or you no longer has that zeal to speak out against bad stories! Or you just hate me. Warkaaga ma hayo for some years now. You do not come to my threads at all! waan ku salaamay walaashay!

Goormaa lagu dhawaaqayaa natiijada? By now all the real people have voted and what is remaining is Alpha's scripits to do what he calles "the last push" which is a euphemism for more scripts! :D He has already done Mooge and is getting close to me. War ninka naga qabta dee. Lol Alpha posts his real picture! Waryaa waa sidee?

Che has lost his muse from the day he was recruited by Maadeey and co and embraced a terrorist ideology. He has become someone with no sense of humor, a sulking man angry against man and god, a bored man with a boring demeanor. Even his stint at feigning lawyer-hood unravelled spectacularly.

NGONGE;895538 wrote: ^^ Aren't these the preliminaries of the thrust and parry of Somali courtship though? She says "my abti beats his wife every day" You say " though it sounds bad, I don't want to say anything negative about your abti just yet" She says "my father had an argument with some man about a debt" You say "why are you trying to scare me?" She says "hoyo just came back from holiday" You say "does that mean you're not free to see me as often as before?" She says "my sister in law had a miscarraige" You say "slow down now, ma ana ba gacantaada taabtay" :D war hedde I am not that creative to use these opportunities. Usually, it goes like: She says abtigay beats his wife, and It is "the mother-forker needs someone to punch him hard". And because she probably was lying about her abti, she feels it and says maxaad abtigay u caayaysaa and i return it and mayhem ensues! Or she says her father is cheated by a man, and I say how much. 1200 oo dollar, and i say aabahaa wuu iimaan la'yahay; ilaahoow uuna wax nagu yeelan; ma 1200 buu dadka maxkamadaha u geeyaa!! Or it is dumaashi miscarriage and I say ninka weel foorara wax ku shubtay baa ma waan, and then she insults me and waa lagu kala kacayaa...

NG, what I witness everyday is what you described in your holiday post. Good ladies like Juxa would want to dismiss it like the talk of wayward men - ciyaala suuqiin - but the thing is men belong to either that category or the mullah category. The mullahs story regarding women, we all know. Nowadays the more you are a mullah, the more you are inclined to be a casanova. I sometimes think the Amhara way which is to do all before marriage and then settle once you marry is a model to replicate than what I see these days. And let me clarify one thing. My failure rate of 90% is with Somali women, not with Ethiopians for instance. The Ethios are direct and you know from the eyes whether it is going to work or not. By the time you start talking, everything would have been settled through the eyes (and I don't mean winking) and the discussion is usually about venue, time and technicalities. With the somalis, it is a different ball game. What amazes me is not the ubiquitous suuro. That we can live with. What amazes me is that our girls are more secretive about themselves and more open about the secrets of their kins and families. Even before you figure out what this woman with you likes or dislikes, or what her life philosophy is, you will know about the frequency with which her abti beats his wife, the quarell between her father and a man who refused to pay back a debt, hooyadeed safarkeeda iyo ilmaha ka soo dhacay dumaashideed! You wonder since when you have become an Ocampo to prosecute whoever wronged her father, or a gynecologist to assist the miscarriage of the in-laws, or a campaigner against domestic violence. Waad yaabi uun!

I understand LST's frustrations. But I think Ngonge has a point. This site would be nothing without Ngonge, it is like like Napoli without Maradona. I now see the voting is finished. Stalin's elections are not won by men who vote but men who count doesn't apply here. The result is there for all to see. I won and I call it now and here! Except Emperor, Bob, Tuujiye and Sharmarke, and ...the scrpits remaining, everyone else has voted. All that remains is Alpha's concession speech. Of course, Mooge is disqualified and can't claim to have come second. What is not clear is where I am voted the best or the worst Soler of the site. The jury is yet out on that one but it looks like the latter. And this is all the work of my enemies. The song I invite to all in this "victory" parade is Abdinasir Macalin, may he rest in peace, Bal malee..... Aaaaaa, malawaal naftaydii, muusanoow ku waashee Hadii aad maqlaysiyo, hadii aad i moog tahay Miisaanka aakhiro, madasheedii iga eeg Malyuunaadka moodane, Qabdiryada mar hore galaybaa Magacaygii lagu darayee Bal malee, bal malee, Marinkii siraadkaan Malaa'igo isku jiidhnee..... Bal malee...Moogoow! :D Did you get the drift?

NGONGE;895481 wrote: A&T, for all those who know him is not the type that was ever going to age gracefully. In fact, I am willing to wager that he knows at least two moves from the “Gangnam Style” dance and maybe even the lyrics. I am also willing to bet that he can land at least seventy percent of the women he sets out to entice. Alas, I don’t really believe enticing them is really his aim or goal. For like I said above, it is all about convincing oneself that you are able to do what you did (or could have done) when you were younger, more able and stronger. So, A&T is not far wrong when he argues that Xiin or Ayub have the same thoughts as him but choose not to air it. Little does he know, of course, that both these gentlemen carry walking sticks, have scarves on the shoulders and machetes under their beds! Keep at it, saaxib. It’ll all soon fade away. :D Horta, NG, I sometimes wonder why you know so much about me. it is not like we met and studied each other.Yet, in every thread, you read my mind like a micro-chip planted there in. Of course, that doesn't mean you are right when you say I can get 70% of those I desire. I rather say my failure rate has been close to 90% in truth. And of course, I have never been "hablaha walaalkood" or what in plain terms we use to say " fur [bahal] (the cover of the woman's thing). No, no, that is insulting. I always pretended I am a serious gentleman even when making jokes. The problem is no one took me seriously. One thing I agree with you is that Xinn and Ayoub and yourself and Norf and all, feel the same way. Where I sip my coffee, I usually have 4-5 men around me and each time a talking backside passes by, funny things happen with the men around. Nowadays, I don't even look at who passed by, I look at the eyes and nervy movements of the men beside me. The craving is pulpable. So, the dilemma of the married is a universal thing. The story I wrote is the story of every man. The differene is how we cope with this fact. Some deny it, some use delusions about their moral pedigree, some laugh about it, some hide behind condemnations, some dismiss it, most blame an entity that is the whipping boy of all scape-goaters - an indiscernible entity by the name SHAYTAN. I talk about it and earn names for it, but the clarity I get from questioning my instinctive nastiness helps me regulate it. And no, no, you are wrong about Gangnam style! no! warya. I am big-footed, I am not allowed those child-things. Although, the other day, I checked what this Gangnam style is about after it came in every field - including football. No, I am not someone who follows fashion or those things. Very casual and avancular from the surface. And I hardly start jokes with people I don't know. No wonder some can't believe when they are told that guy talks. Almost always I hear, "war ninyahow. We never thought you utter a word." And....and, I get tongue-tied if you bring 2 people I don't know to the table. really can't say a word.

People, stop moralizing and offering vague sermons about the sanctity of sticking to one woman and whatnot. This is not about me planning to go on a carnal escapade. This is about understanding the enigma of a man very approachable to woman yet so far to their bosom, except when consoling them on a loss of relative or a friend or when bidding them farewell. This is about gathering lessons learnt and best practices. Can you offer specific tips or ideas why you think this has been happening? At least Apophis gave some useful tips, which means next time I am in close proximity to a woman what I need is not to keep distance and talk, but to act decisively and grab them by the waist. According to Apophis and Coofle, even if they slap me, that doesn't me they don't like what I am doing, so I should breathe by their neck in case that stirs some desire in them. Seems a plan.

Most of the time i don't believe in shaytan and when I do, I rarely blame anything on it. I usually think 'shaytan' is another word for scapegoats and temptations. That said, I still think the sociological paradox and dilemma in this personal story is highlighted by Chimera - who else. The dilemma is the bliss and pride we associate with having children, being responsible parents and husbands/wives, and the discipline and dignity associated with these values on one hand, and the constant desire for newer and auxiliary sensual gratifications that we hunger after. The outward dignified image we present as a facade for inner depravity is something that warrants more ink than devoted so far. Juxa should not personalize this, it is not a story of one person nor does it end if one man sits with his spouse and is assured 200 live kisses a day let alone hi's and dear's in text. Apophis - the few times I believed the hands should take the charge and lead in these engagements, I got violent rebukes and labels of miyikoole, so I don't think the hands do a better job than the mouth at the preparatory stage!

D/p

By the way, what I mean deprivation does not include what you get by knocking on the door of a woman you were on the same bus in a long journey as you overnight in a cold obscure village like Hirna - half way between Addis and Jigjiga. Very often you knock on the pretense that you are looking for a match to light a candle and end up twisting the fat elbows of the lady - who mounts what can only be described a mock resistance. You know that the lady consented to it less from sensual pleasure and more from survival instinct in freezing and dark night. What we miss is not those kinds of hit and run love booties, what we miss is the uplifting texts, hi's and dear's, that my friends say they are getting tired of.

I am 100% sure no one is voting for Mooge. Those who are voting for him are voting against me. It is a protest vote. They think Mooge is the closest and to give to Mooge is to deprive Abtigiis!! They can go to hell. This contest has already turned into a farce and a contest for the best Clown of SOL. My enemies have voted for me to slight my good name and I can't say they did not succeed. I have already lost! If I win, I will be remembered as the guy who narrowly defeated a moron called Mooge. If I lose, i will remembered as the second clown of the site, a man who lost the title only to an unbelievably clownish creature called Mooge. Alpha is not going to come to my rescue. He is another buffon. What would really help me is for people who do not like me to vote for real characters who still can win this race; or for the admin to accept my withdrawal and take my name off this roll of shame!!

Salahudin;895028 wrote: Abigiis...And it should be easier now that you know telling a joke isn't the secret to bedding women. Lesson learnt. But what is it then?! Or are the men lying about their exploits? I usually take solace in the knowledge men who talk about these things often aren't telling the truth! @apophis... War bal waxan eega?! Why outside Somalis waryaa ??! I reject your insinuations.!