Blackflash;900127 wrote: There's a big difference between playful coercion and rape. If we need to actually get in to the difference between the two, please don't get married and try to keep human contact to a minimum. Intelligent summary. Why can't Nin Yaaban came up with something as clever as this once?! Just add one more thing which is the case usually when the playful coercion is done on the male. It is called huruuf coercion or Uunsi cajoling.

I'm not in love So don't forget it It's just a silly phase I'm going through And just because I call you up Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made I'm not in love, no no, it's because.. I like to see you But then again That doesn't mean you mean that much to me So if I call you Don't make a fuss Don't tell your friends about the two of us I'm not in love, no no, it's because.. I keep your picture Upon the wall It hides a nasty stain that's lying there So don't you ask me To give it back I know you know it doesn't mean that much to me I'm not in love, no no, it's because.. I'm not in love So don't forget it It's just a silly phase I'm going through And just because I call you up Don't get me wrong, don't think you've got it made I'm not in love I'm not in love :D Igu soo war celi kolaad heesta dhagaysatid, bal wixii aad ka fahantay.

:D @NY. Apophis - again, is it wrong to state facts. Show me single statement which is wrong in what you said. Once again, I don't hate the western culture wholesale, but I don't swallow it all as well. Nin Yaaban, yaa is waydiiyey in ay danbi tahay iyo in kale? We are only discussing definitions.... A wife and husband will often do favours to each other against their own desire, and I don't see as a rape. Voluntary is the key word...

Which one?

Nin-Yaban is a very strange creature who almost always accepts definitions and judgements of Westerners, robot-like, so I see where he is coming from. But to answer this question, we need to de-Westernize the discussion and discuss it in context. 1) if the question is does a non-consensual sex always become a rape, the answer is NO. It only becomes a rape a) if it happens in the West b) if the woman is sufficiently angry about it to lodge a complaint. Even in Western countries, for a woman to go and accuse her husband, there must be something else other than sex between them; for instance physical violence and abuse must accompany the rape. Iyadoo daalan oo please i am tired leh, haduu dhinaca ka saaro, she will not enjoy it, but it is hard to imagine she will report him. Again, this is not about politic correctednees or generalization to all cases but pretty much what we can expect on average 2) Can a Xaliimo be raped by a husband, seems unlikely given how violent and shouting they are; but the case in #1 applies here to 3) Is bothering Xaliimo when she is not in the mood ( though not by physically abusing her), a rape??? ...i don't know what the Western law says but in many cultures it is not rape. But also if that is considered rape, I bet Faarax's are raped every week in that definition and it is us who have to sue our wives!! P.S. by the way and on the SNETification of SOL, bisha December miyaa la fasaxaa Somalinet; a disproportionat number of SNETites come here for what I can only assume to be Xagaa-bax in December. :D

Carafaat and Wyre are avid lovers of Ethiopian music. For them and for the other fans of music, I present Gashaw Adal - May he rest in peace. Gashaw Adal suffered from Vitiligo, a condition which involves complete loss of melanin - the primary skin pigment, and many speculate his late entrance into music was because he preferred obscurity to escape the harsh judgement of a superstititious society that considered those suffering from this skin condition as wicked and cursed. But when he finally and courageously took the stage, parallels with the greatest was made. Some even declared a new Tilahun Gessesse was on the making. Gashaw's second name is not Adal; Adal or Afar is the name of the cushitic people in North East of Ethiopia. He is named Adal because he was from the Afar region - An Amhara who lived there. 1994 was when he released "Abay, ye bahay". This Afar song rocked Addis, and the Ethiopian TV crew seemed to not get enough of it. The world cup in USA was on and the games made more sense, because Gashaw's incredibly melodious voice was aired for hours before and after the matches. He died prematurely. How I loved him! Abay,ye bahay, ...yani de delaki balaniiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.......................

NGONGE;899827 wrote: How much is due to the old man's wish to see his children progress and prosper and how much is down to these children's own hardwork, I wonder! I mean, the boys moved to another town at an early age and were left unsupervised except for the occassional letter/tape telling them to be good and work hard. Ngonge, I think you missed the sub-narrative about the older brother. Mohamud Cadde never - for a second - entertained the idea that it is own hard-work that made him. It is hard to imagine he would have gone far without the extraordinary far-sightedness of the father, who not only decided to sell everything he has - land, animals, properties - to raise enough money to take his sons to a town where he thought they would get better schooling, but who also had the wisdom to realize that the risks of juvenile temptations that can wreck the future of his sons in distant cities never outweighed the dangers of keeping them in fake schools in nearby towns. If the father had a strong belief that the young son would make it if given the opportunity, he NEVER doubted the conscientiousness and puritan convictions of the older one - Mohamed. In later years, he repeatedly said he would never have sent Mohamud Cadde to a town 20 Kms away, without the company of Mohamed (the elder). Mohamed lived an ascetic teenage life and while the young one was easily corruptible the strict supervision and constant advice, and the young one's love of the elder's compassion and collectedness, made the boys follow their parents instructions to the letter. For Mohamud cadde never feared God, or gossip or parents's wrath, but feared a bad judgement by the older brother. To err was to anger and disappoint the older one; and Mohamud cadde would do everything to avoid that. To this day, the old brother sees the young one as someone prone to hasty decisions and a sort of daredevil that can invite hurt and agony to himself and those around him.

Ayoub and Stoic, abtiyaal barasho wanaagsan hedde isa soo galaye. Ma reer Guuleed Suldaan baad ka sii tahiin sand-diver ka?? :D

Ok, for the scripts; but again why have you regarded Jacpher - a man whose only contribution to this site is to post pictures of events in Puntalnd - as a normal person against all the evidence to the contrary??

NG, why has it taken you so long to notice the level of the trollers these days?! Of all things I see, the regression of CHE is the most baffling!

d/p

AYOUB;899799 wrote: A&T ,Even though my cousin was better looking in my biased opinion, he too had that Saddam Hussein stare. Tuug! :D Beauty is behaviour waryaa. It is those who are compassionate, caring, humble and understanding that I call beautiful. Not those with the faces of George Clooney or .... Ayoub, what you seem not to appreciate is that I belong to those kids Radio Wiilwaal says should have been statistically dead...or in my case statistically illiterate. Marka highlight the success in the story not the ascribed aesthetic deficiencies of the photo. Disco, .... Waa ra'yigaaga. But I doubt you will have said the same if this story was told by a Ugandan, a Nigerian or a Bengali poor kid. Taking away from others so that we don't look small, or using insults and insinuations as stilts to look taller or bring down others to assuage ingrained feelings about own inadequacies is a communal habit for us Somalis. So, not one bit surprised about your statement.

My moral judgements are inconsequential in this hypothetical scenario. The whole question is simplistic and diversionary. Whether Xenphobia is acceptable or not is a wholly different topic. That income disparity causes social tensions and upheavals and that this gets worse where those in the lower income group are locals and the better-off are migrants is beyond doubt. And by the way, we have not even yet edtablished if this was a genuine xenophobia or if it was a spontaneous anger that enticed hooligans to take advantage of the situation. Let us wait for the full details and how it goes from here. Of course, if the death of a Zambian worker pains me as a human being, the death of a fellow Somali pains me equally. Human compassions transcend regional or racial identities and the death of Puntlander is as painful as the death of a Peruvian in my eyes.

Che, stop twisting my words and be a decent person like you used to be. Where I referred to the joke, it wasn't even about the tragedy. It was about our culture of trying to cover up for criminals. I was saying the narrative that the guy is mad could be false because I have seen Somalis using it many times to cover for a criminal. There is no were in my post where I talked about people deserving punishment. I said they were lucky that no one is dead given what the somali man did. I said they were lucky because the State of Zambia protected them. How that is construed to be an endorsement of the attacks against Somalis, I don't understand. And people should not draw parallels and analogies where there is none. It doesn't make them knowledgable. The cry baby that is Jachper can chirp the whole day about my clannishness and what not milking this moment of tragedy to ventilate accrued hate against the person of me, but Che must be careful.! He is undressing himself to embarassing nakedness, urged by the nudges of the quasi-nationalist from a state called Puntland.

My joke on the LibaaxSankaTaabte culture is wholly inappropriate given the tragedy. I take it back. Harcord clanist?? Do you really think I mind that judgement? :D Do you really think I don't care about the Somalis in Zambia because of clan reasons?? Sheikh Bashir and Ina-kuraas who are from Puntland and who have a business in Chaisa should have heard you? There are people who are like close families to me in that land. But I hate childish sentimentalism, particularly when your analysis fails to reflect on sociology and economics during, before and after Xenophobic eruptions. Che and Jacpher, yes, those killed in Zambia are not my sub-clan. Why do I care? Foolish Somalis need to be spoken to in the foolish language they understand. ... And yes, those in Somaligalbeed needs to be exterminated but it is not your problem because they are not your clan. I know Jachper; but Che?? What confusion and myopia can do to people, brothers!!

Again, I did not take offence at any point and my remarks about yaa iga qabta Apophis was really said in a playful way. Remember, unlike the arrogant Xinn who believes he is the best thing that happened to the virtual world since bread was silced, I have huge self-doubt and therefore like to argue with everyone in the hope of either convincing the other or getting myself convinced. That is the source of my loquacity. I would not have played back and forth if i am not appreciative of your points even when you are being cheeky. But if you feel you have to apologize, it is fully accepted and appreciated. Stoic, I don't bielieve that is his intention although your theory is plausible. I think he is either a true iconoclast or he is just struggling with the warts of growth and all the insularity that goes with it.

There is no moderation Che here. The State of Zambia protected Somalis from poor hooligans who were trying to loot more than kill Somalis. You don't have to look for a middle ground in every story - even where there is no such thing as this one - just to look sober and intellectually profound. Political correctness disgusts me and is soon going to be added to the catagory of harmful traditional practices like FGM. People are increasingly getting fed up of hypocratical zingers that no one actually believes in.

Seriously, Apophis, my cousin, you did not do anything wrong on this thread. You raised interesting dimensions that people can discuss. But of course age and own experience shape how we think about our parents and their "control" over us. As we grow older and start to wear their shoes, we become more appreciate of their sacrifices and less resentul about their control and harassment. When I say I did not feel like you wronged me, I mean it. Or is this apology a more dignified way of rescinding your eariler laments against parents' "stifling of children's freedom in latter years as way of recouping earlier investements" ? It is ok to say I am sorry, I was wrong.

The title should have read BARBARIC SOMALI MAN MURDERS EMPLOYEE AFTER FAILING TO PAY SALARY The Zambians reaction is entirely understandable. The somalis are lucky none of them is dead. Somalis are notorious for not honouring committments when it comes to paying employees or others who trusted them. I have seen many maids complian about this. And the Somali killer is not mad. Sheekadii Puntlanders ka ee "war ina libaax sanka taabaaa la yidhaa iimaan laawaha. 13 hore ayuu dilay, iskaga carar meesha yuuna 14 kaaga dhigine" that used to be used to deny long-foot qat merchants should not be exoprted to Zambia and other lands. If he is mad, why didn't the community detain him if they knew he is dangerous as the woman in the video claims?? I visited Zambia in 2009 and the Somalis were living dangerously with a lot of businesses in Chaisa slum. It was a ticking bomb. I understand the riots happened in Ndola but expect Chaisa to ignite anytime. Rest in peace poor proletariat Kabasso. Your death pains us.

Waranle, great observation, valid critique. At first glance, the boy's venial narcissism - given the odds and ordeal endured and overcome - overshadows the sacrifices and generosity of the poor father. But on closer scrutiny, the father's parental sacrifices and exaggerated belief in the capabilities of his son is relayed through a drifty narration on the son's ability to fend for himself and the family. The sacrifices of the father is read and redeemed through filial struggle and achievement.

And where have you seen parents who say those words with the purpose of getting favors from their children?? Do they not always, always, always think of our welfare even when they talk to us like that?? Is their message not one which says be a better person, we raised you so that you can become a better person? Of course, Xinn is always right. I have the uncanny habit of wasting ink on trivial things and with trivial people.

You have done enough damage. It is too late. You will not be left alone. But seriously, are you serious about your positions on parents?! Or just pulling our leg?

Apophis;899435 wrote: Yap, that's called internalised guilt. I freed myself of it in my late teens and freedom feels like magic. War odayaashi hore waxay odhan jireen wiil yar oo iswaala oo aan wiil da'diisa ah oo garaaca loo hayn waa ibtilee, away kuraydii cagdheerta ee meesha joogtay,... maxay ka yar iigu daawanayaan?? kii xumaa ee The Zack ah away?! Mise kuwaa hadii la waayo kuwii Khaatumo ee Abdi_Khader ku jiray baa dad iigu xiga oo aan u dacwooda? JohnnyB - I agree the picture is a distraction but it is what reminded me of this story. Never thought I will find it, nor knew about its existence, but once I received, it invoked memories...And I have a propensity for engaging in maudlin sentimentalism when memories hit me.

It is not a guilt. It is a privilege. Anyway you are still at fire age. So we shall grant you some more years to see if you still think the same way. At your age, I did not know what I know today but the resolve was there to pay my parents back when I grow up.

Those who work in the KFCs did not fail just like those who are playing Rugby or those rehearsing for American or Indian Idol. Perhaps their comparative advantage lies in what they are doing. The role of the parents is not to curve a surgeon or astronaut out of us. It is to provide us with material and moral support to the best of their ability. The rest is luck and choices we make.