This page is about satire and parody. It has nothing to do with who is winning a war and who is losing. If greiveing clan boys think it is, so be it; they can go hang. I am not to be denied my right to parody political events in Somalia because I have to babysit the nonesense of hateful kids who read mischeif in all things. I will continue the parody even if Madoobe's head is cut. If Gabbal fails to win in time for me to be also making fun of the demise of the other side ( FC Madoobe ), it is NOT my mistake! Marka kuraygan should go and open a calaacal page where I promise to join and commiserate with them. This one is for a different purpose. Stop bullying me.

^ waa sax Dhagax-tuur ee MMA iyo Somaalidu kolkeey doorkan Kikuyu lackeys qaxootiga ah eryeto yayna sidii waayihii hor ilaa Dhadhaab iyo Kenya kaga soo hadhin. Waa inay ilaa Nigeria meel ka sokeeysa kaga soo hadhin. Kenya haday baxdo waan idinka adag nahay waa waxa lugooyada ina baday ee ina lumiyey. For now, let Allan Green ala Tilamook commentate for the second half. Tillamook, do you think Ahmed Diiriye is quiet on the wing because he is misfielded?? And why is FC Madoobe playing so cautiously? Why not utilize set pieces?

Saalax, Gabbal et al will cry blood. That is the price of clan chauvinism, political greed and mindless ambition. Sad but Gabbal's tears may not dry for a long, long time because he sees no value in engaging in peace and reconcilliation. He is an angry man filled with hate and revenge and hate never wins.

Breaking News: Saying the Dam-ul-Jadiid of Egypt and President Mohamed Morsi is overthrown by the Egyptian army, General Yusuf Mohamed Siyad Indhacadde has just read a statement on Radio Star FM in Mogadishu, asking President Hassan Sheikh Mohamud, whom he calls the Morsi of Somalia, to resign within 48 hours or face a militia ouster. The General says President Hassan failed the nation and should step aside. Actually the game we talked about may be postponed due to this emergency!!

Somaali waa wada qaraabo; waxa meesha ka dhacayna wax fiican ma aha; but this is satire and it is indifferent to time and pain. Adiguse MMA yoow, Soomaalinimada iyo wadaniyada kaligaa baan kugu ogeeyn in dhaweeyde dheg ha dhigin wararka Daa.r.oo.dka!!!! Soomaaalinimadaada aan Banadir iyo Bay dhaafsaneeyn ayaa sax ah; dadka kale ee wada dulliga ah ee shisheeyaha la shaqeeysta waa in la cidhib tiraa. Soo sidaa ma aha? Ileen waxaan beeraleey aheyn somali ma ahee.

The technical team has debated the inclusion of Omar. Many thought Gaandhii offers a better speed and agility. Omar is our Valderemma, slow but skilled. He is also a team player. We could have fielded Gaandhi who is good with the ball but we feared he will disrupt team cohesion as he thinks he should have been made the captain. He is a bit of Balotelli, unpredictable. My prediction is that FC Madoobe will win 2-1. Gabbal will be sent off for dangerous play, and Xassan Sheikh will concede a penalty.

This week's biggest game is between defending champions FC Madoobe and relegation threatened Saaciid 1969 Line ups: FC Madoobe 1. Aden Bare Ducaale 2. General Chirchir © 3. Mohamed Faroole 4. Colonel Sabareey 5. Xinnfanin 6. Xildhibaan Xidig 7. Fartaag 8. Seerar 9. Ina laba-go'le 10. Ciilmooge 11. Omer Abdirashid Coach: Uhuru Subeer Daring Club (D.C) Saaciid 1969 1. Wasiir Mire 2. Hassan sheikh © 3. Hosh Jibriil 4. Abdikarim Guleed 5. Dastuurka 6. Is dawladeeyn 7. Ahmed Diriye 8. Colonel Cabbas 9. Kaliil 10. Gabbal 11. Mandate Coach: Caasha Xaaji Hiraaab Referee: Nick Kay ( British) Linesmen: Museveni, Haile and Erdogan Both teams are missing key players. FC Madoobe has the influential ina-laba-goole, who is naturalized Jubbalander. He plies his football in jigjiga. But they are missing Gabre, and Aw libaax. Saaciid 1969 made forced substitutions as four of their top strikers are missing through injury and suspensions. The team is without veteran Bare Hiiraale and talented full-back Baasto, both injured; while Baaleey and Buraale are suspended for collecting two yellow cards in previous matches. Prediction: It will be a tough game as Saaciid 1969 must play the game of its life without the most experienced and dangerous strikers. If they score goals, it will probably come from their number 5, 6 and 11. FC Madoobe needs a draw to win the cup. They will probably play a counter-attack game. Key players in this game for FC Madoobe will be their goalkeeper Ducaale and number 7 Fartaag, a speedy midfielder who will lead the counter-attacks, and who will benefit from knowing the weaknesses of his former team which he is facing in this game.

1- FC Madoobe 2- Real Baasto 3- Jaabo Jaabo Buraale 4- Hiiraale Athletic 5- Saaciid 1969 6- Baaleey Wanderers 7. Fardojaan Hotspur 8- Alshabab Juniors 9- Orlando (Saleebaano) Pirates 10-Red Star Kikuyu 11- Unuka United Meanwhile, there are five African Presidents in Mogadishu today. Tolow ma AU meeting baa? These Presidents are: 1- President Hassan Sh. Mohamud ... President of the Federal Republic of Somalia 2- President Ifiin Hassan ... President of the Republic of Baastoland 3- President Bare Aadan Shire ( Hiiraale).. President of Kacaan-land 4- President Baaleey President of Masago & Tobago 5- President Omer Buraale President of camelwana

Gabbal is actually right. Cabbas and Barre's new combined forces are not Alshabab. Acccorrding to AllGalgaduud.com, they are renamed " dhalinyaradda dib u xoreeynta dalka" (DDD). Nothing wrong with that, except that for the benefits of the international media, the DDD will have to be translated into English and Arabic. Now, I am not good in Arabic, but I can figure out what DDD would be: al shabab li taxrir al wadan. We can still argue that the name's similarity to the islamists is a coincidence. But at least given that Barre has already said he shares the vision of fighting kenya with Alshabab, we can safely say the two groups are now like Manchester United and Manchester city: both in the English Premier League, both football teams; both fighting for the same goals. Is that fair?? On Gabbal, walaahi, I regret spending so much engery in arguing with him. If only I knew delusion can never be defeated. But, i agree with him that Cabbas with estimated 12,000 fighters is eating camel meat and milk near Kismaayo. I heard that too. I have no problem with that report; my only concern was whether the camels in the regions could have sufficed to feed the army. Mise geelii waagii dhaweyd Australia ayaa lagu laayay lalahaa ayaa hilibkiisii maraakiib loo soo saaray? As El punto said maalinba waa sheeko cusub. Markuu Cabbas dhamaadana waa Gabbal oo drones wataa ayaa caawa SOL ka ambabaxay oo Kismaayo u sii jeeda! Markaa anigu waxaan idin kaga tagayaa heestii Hibo Nuura iyo: Maxaa heley kaskaagii Iyo kohaashadeenii Sheekaduu ma kow iyo Kun habeeen mid socotaa Kun habeen mid socotaa???? :D Xaaji xundjuf, Adigu hal qalad unbaad leedahay. Hubsiimo la'aan taasina waa tii laga gabyay oo waa hiddo. Kolkuu ku yar oo qiiraysan thread ah Kaliil with 2000 soldiers is marching soo qoraba, madaxweeyne cusub baa jubbaland u soo baxay iyo wax la mid ah baad dadka ku wareerin. Midda kale markii somaliland iyo Puntland la sameeynayey waa la isku dagaalay; waxooga dagaal wuu jiri kalaa jubbaland na ee markii laba xabadood dhacaanba balaayaa dhacdayda jooji. Reerkan aad neceb tahay ee long foot na dadka waa inay wax ka siiyaan jubbaland.

There is a potential for a great RAP style somali music ala Faarax Murtile here. Biito, biito, biito Aaaahah Biito aan ciyaarno Aaaahah Bare waan soo waayee Aaaahah Buraale miyuu hurdaa Aaaaahah Baleey bustaha siiya Aaaaaahah Baastadii yaa naga cunay Aaaaaahah Jaw! Kaw! Naw! Kenya bax! Aaaaaahah Ala hoobaalayoow heedhe, Dawladiiyeey heedhee, Raisal wasaare heedheeeeee

There is a potential for a great RAP style somali music ala Faarax Murtile here. Biito, biito, biito Aaaahah Biito aan ciyaarno Aaaahah Bare waan soo waayee Aaaahah Buraale miyuu hurdaa Aaaaahah Baleey bustaha siiy Aaaaaahah Baastadii yaa naga cunay Aaaaaahah Jaw! Kaw! Naw! Kenya bax! Aaaaaahah

Gabbal, naga daa baalaxooftada isbiirto layaashi hargeisa ileen matihide!! Waa ku sidee ninyahow. Midda kale kolna "somali Government" said this and that ha ohan, kolna anagoo reer laba kacleey ah baa geel Kismaayo ku qalanaya ha na odhan. Ta danbe ayaa sax ah ee ta hore ee dawladeeynta inaga daa fadlan. Laba bilood ka dib anagaaba dawlada Federalka noqon doona oo dawlada hala maqlo odhan doonee adigoo diidan yaan lagu arkin. Waaxid qabiileeyste ah oo ileen boodka isku qariyaa aduun u dhib weeyn! Xili Tolka reer Kacaan iyo xisbigu ilma adeer run ah yihiin oo dawladnimada aad laba adeer ah kala tirsataan ayaad ababtay markaa wixii oo is badalay unbaad dawladii baa sidaa tidhi haysaa!! Xinnfanin, Anigu Puntlander aan ma gudbe aheeyn Gheele iyo Baashe ayaan hayaa, iyo adiga.

Gabbal, been baad sheegtay. Bring it on. Kenya ha baxdo bari and we will see. Shalay baa la is waydiiyey oo nin oday ah baa yidhi " war horta meesha reer Kacaan inagaga adkaan jiraan ee ay maalin walba sheegayaan xageey aheeyd?" Fikirkaa buka ee reer hebel anagaa ka adag ah waa waxa ku lugooyeey. Asxaantana hargab baad ka qaadaan. So BRING it on dark boys! Xinnfaniin Shalay mid xun oo reer puntland ah oo isoo diray message baa aad uga xanaaqay. Wuxuu ku leeyahay " war baryhan ba reer kacaan anagoo aan waxba ku sameeyn ayey noo fak fakanayeen; maanta dhagaha lagu dhuftay oo ******** is heleen." After he said this, he added the annoying part: "Gun, gunbaa kaa dhicisa" ku lahaa... Ciyaala suuq!!

Gabbal waraaqo jecelaa ma awawgii baa ingiriis ah horta! Kolba warqad baa la soo saaray unbuu leeyahay. Igad baa kan tidhi, EU kii kale tidhii, Gedo ayaa war saxaafadeee soo saartay; wasiir hebel baa xamar sidaa ka yidhi... All good except the thing has really moved from paper now. Kibir iyo awal Kenya ayaan ku geeyay ee maantana Nigeria meel ka sokeeysa kaaga hadhi maayo, ayaa la eeday. Iyo Saaciiid oo 9 bilood Xassan lacag kaga dhameeyay give me more money I will deliver Kismaayo. I am told Hassan is looking for a better partner who can deliver. Bal kaalaya oo meesha Madaxweeyne ku xigeen hada ka noqda, after a short while na doorashaa dhacayaa ee let us even agree on a rotational presidency xitaa waa lagu yidhi reer kacaan. Maya ka kac kursiga ileen anigaad waligay askari ii ahaan jirtee adigu ma is taahishide. That can ony lead to bloodshed. I am not saying one will win, but it sure will not bring peace. Arrogance draped under whatever name constitution, dawladnimo meel aan dagaal aheeyn ku gaadh siin maayo. Unfortunately blood have to be spilled to make some with Gabbal's mentality the futility of false clan pride. Miskiin Macruuf Aqyaarna, sheeko tacbaan ah oo Soomalinimo ayuu baryahan meelahaa la wareega sidii oo aan anagu Oromo ama Zulu nahay! Goormaa reer hebel qudha danta somalia kuwa ka taliya noqdeen??? Runta ha la isu sheegoo...yaan harag shabeel la isu xidhan! For now,heesa dalabaadka 1 da luuliyo ayaan idiin kaga tagayaa. I did not want to do this but Gabbal's waraaqo really called for it! Ku soo dhawaada heestii "New York City Life" iyo Tony Wilson... "Eddy's dead, shot in the head By a brother, brother Who is gonna tell his mama Who is gonna tell reer laba-kac-leeyin"

There is no accusation from Mogadishu, i mean SFG. This morning, Kenyan Foreign Ministry summoned Somali Embassy staff here in Nairobi to explain the accusations. The staff called state house in Mogadishu, aka, President Hassan's Office. The instructions was that they can not say that the allegations made by the junior minister acting on the order of the PM and tolnimo responsibility is the SFG's position. File closed. Sow markaa warku uma eka, dheg ha u dhigina waa war reer saar Gedoode!! Yaan la isu dawladeeyn, jubbaland na dawlad ma aha ; Office of PM na dawlad ma ahe. Reeraha hala kala qabto.

very bad move! appointing your own clansmen to key diplomatic posts suggests you do not trust others. While Ahmed will not change Ethiopian position on Somalia, this appointment will damage Hassan Sheikh. I don't know who is advising the President. Ambassadors in Kenya, Ethiopia and London, all from the President's clan makes one wonder why the President can't find men and women who can be trusted from other clans.

Hee kuma yidhaa oo Ileen hadal kuuma celiyo Hurdo qof aan ku jirinoo Indhihii hagoogtoo Is hadoodilaayaa....

no network! ...Oba!

^ bull.sh.i.t! No one needs an attack to come back to Nairobi. Staff there are given adequate incentives to stay in Mogadishu. People were competing to be in Mogadishu because it pays. While it is normal for all kinds of conspiracy theories to start flying around, it is a bit sad people who work at the UN are vilified as calculating demons who do not value human life. No one needed an attack to come back. The SMT could have done it in one meeting by declaring the place is unsafe.

the UN office in Mogadishu is a fort! not a soft spot. We heard they will attack too. They must have good intelligence because the door they attacked which leads to the accommodation section does not have double security. Still, it is good they did not manage to do beyond the door area (which is where we play volleyball in the afternoons). The colleagues killed are from MECHEM, a south African company that provides accommodation services. I was close to Morne, who three days ago, had a balance of 100 USD for accommodation and I insisted he should leave a note to the other receptionist. he said, "no, just go, when you return next week you will settle." I joked, "I want the note, cause in case you die before I return...because Somalis are killed in South Africa and one may decide to behead you..." Waa kaftan noo socday in muddo ah. you know what he said; " go away! if I die, I will not care about money". Rest in peace Rita, Morne and Allan... inaa liliaah wa inaa lilaahi raajicuun for the Somali men and women who died in the shootout!

That is my compound! I just saw an email from my boss! I am lucky I am on leave but worried about my friends! How did this happen? All last week we were doing mock exercises and the imminent attack was told over and over! The last communication from my boss is all staff are accounted for, except two of my own organization. I think the two are locals and may have been outside the compound on duty. I think it is time to change place. This is very, very worrying.

xiinfaniin;962725 wrote: A major stakeholder in Somali politics (Puntland) has alleged that the constitution has been changed. The will of the majority is more sacred than the lone major stakeholder! But at this stage, it has not even come down to that. The lone MAJORITY stakeholder is mischievously shouting when it could easily speak through its representatives in the national parliament. By the way, anigu ma fahmin qaabka ay u wada shaqeeyaan MPs from Puntland who are in the national Parliament and Faroole's cabinet back home. Mid kee u hadla Puntland? If the MPs cannot advance the same arguments Faroole is making in the arena of the Parliament, what and who do they represent? So, my point is Faroole should leave it to the MPs in the Parliament. That way, the same argument he is making now, gets some decency because it is argued in the right venue. parliamentarian guidelines, advisory clarification on certain clauses, mind you, do not change the text of the constitutional ordinance. It only clarifies. And that is (in my understanding) the role of current parliament. And this is what happened. Can you tell that to Faro then? The agreement (signed by Faroole himself) was that a committee (which also was agreed to by Faroole) will look into the details of some broadly agreed on articles and will tender its recommendations. Now, Faroole's role is to ask those recommendations to be tabled before the Parliament. He cannot ambush the process by pretending new changes has been made!! the accusatory tone in his message is really shocking. The other day I saw Jawaari briefing some UN guys and he showed the original agreement where Faroole agreed to the committee, and the recommendations of the committee. He was bewildered why Farole pretends he does not know about who did the alleged changes! it is the same committee he endorsed! In the rest of the arguments you wrote you played the man not the ball. So, I refuse to take the bait. I want to keep you to this issue of "constitution baa la badaly". By the way, I agree that the implementation of the provisional constitution was predicated on the presence of a nationally accepted national government. I think Hassan has lost that national appeal and therefore what was acceptable yesterday, is no longer acceptable. Meeshii shaki iyo kala bood ayaa soo galay markaa waa in dib re-engineering loogu sameeyaa the implementation of the constitution. And that can only mean it is no longer feasible for the center to appoint governors. I think the momentum is now irreversibly lost. President Hassan ka leh intii Jubbaland dhalan lahayd ha lagu kala tago meeshaa (because that is what his actions are tantamount to) - and I believe clannish considerations partly inform his decision - and those who say if a HAG president is on power, then everything is acceptable (including treason and scuttling to enemy capitals to play dirty skirt to foreigners) are one and the same. Hassan is clearly not a statesman but that does not mean all other civic responsibilities must be shirked to fight him. DULMI DIIDOOW DULMI DOON HA NOQONIN, that is my motto adeer. So, if Ahmed Madoobe and co want to impose themselves by the barrel of the gun, I do not accept it. Yet, I believe Ahmed Madoobe is not given the opportunity to distribute power fairly because Mogadishu is sending spoilers and as we know as long as you have someone who will take malcontents, there will always be malcontents in any process. Dadku waxa meesha laga dhisay si unbay uGu heshiin lahaayeen laakin marka dawladii dhexe leedahay "reer hebeloow diida anagaa wax dhaama idiin haynee", dee heshiish ma dhacayo.

Gabbal dayanimadu haday tahay sax iyo qalad ba qofkaan coloowno ama aan wax ka tabanayno ha lagu tuuloo oo yaan loo aaba yeelin waan ahay gabbal daye! Adigu se waad qafiiftay baryahan oo arintan Kismaayo maradaa kaaga dhacdaye isdaji ninyahoow. Xassan inuu dalka dib ugu celiyo 90 kii oo qabiil qabiil la isu haysto waa arin xun oo in la dhaleeceeyo u baahan. Laakiin taas macnaheedu ma aha Axmed Madoobe Addis Ababa u dacwo tago ama wax walba oo eedeeyn ah oo xassan loo soo jeediyo aan u riyaaqno. I think we should be principled and that means he we supported today on some issues we can denounce him the next minute based on the issue at hand. Sadly, we call that flipflippoing in this forum. The constitution is not CHANGED; a committe tasked to finalize few outstanding details did its job; it is upto the Somali parliament to either accept the recommendations or to reject it! That is the fact i shared with you. Puntland and Kismaayo ha la waydiiyo kuma qorna dastuurka; anigu se waxba kama qabo hadii la waydiiyo si dadku u heshiiyo. Marka fadlan let us function outside our political predilictions. The other day Baashe was also saying Abtigiis is a crowd pleaser simply because i did not share his hardline position on kismaayo. War hede reerku suu wax u wada? Qofku miyuuna fikirkiisa xor u ahayn?! I don't like President Hassan's fixation on Kismaayo and honestly I believe he is beholden to hardlinere within his community ( which is bad fo somalia), but also I don't like Axmed Madoobe and his ilk running to foreign capitals and working against the national interest! I think that is treason. Xinn, I can go to philiplines or west africa and earn salary too. I have no interest in the misery of Somalia. If at all, i am contributing to its revival. That was a cheap line. Laakiin, baryahan waad qafiiftoo, waan kuu dul qaadanayaa. Danta big foot iyo cid kale waxay ku jirtaa danta guud ee Somaliyeed; wax reer gaar ah helo oo xal waara keenaya majiro, markaa danta Somaaliyeed yaan loo baab'in dan reereed. This also applies to Xassan who seems to think it is the end of the world if the D block dominate Jubbaland. Kan leh intuu D qabsan lahaa jubooyin ha la isdilo iyo kan leh intuu H arintaa naga hor istaagi lahaa, ha lagu kal tago meesha ama Itoobiya iyo Kenya ayaan u galayaa waa isku mid!!! Qaladka ugu weyn se Xassan baa leh oo isagaa masuuliyada weyn saaran tahay!

FRoole and the Punties are disingeniuos again. After the Garowe meeting, it was agreed that a technical committee ( the signatories formed) will elaborate on certain articles. The comiitte has done that and submitted the recommendations to the Speaker of the Parliament. I am not sure if Faroole's problem is that he think the recommendations should have been sent to the Garowe II signatories! Otherwise, the Federal Governmen did not change the constitution. The recommendations are not yet endorses by the parliament; and Puntland is represented in the parliament. So, I don't see where Faroole is coming from. Hadii laga cod bato oo soomalida kale isku raacdo recommendation ka, it will become the law of the land. Tough luck, Faro!

Sidaa ma aha xaalku. I came back to Nairobi two days ago. And i am really sick. JB iyo Nuune kadis baan isku helay and i said you can come and meet me at home. I could take them out properly. Casuumad balaadhan ayaan Stoic u sameeynayaa, but he might have to wait until the weekend because i intend to take family out of nairobi for few days. Insha allah waan is arkaynaa Stoic. My private life is intact waryaa. Oday reereed baan ahay not the butterfly you see on SOL. Stoic, ha naga caayin magaalada. It depends on which Nairobi you are in! There are three or four nairobi's and Eastligh is not one of them!