Salaan... Niiko {even though, I don't get what qarami is} Hmm... let me think. Yes, Doqon or Jaahil. Wait a minute, they are in same category, I guess. How about then, hmm... Do you agree, so far, what most had chosen? Yes or No?? __________________ Macsalaama!!

Salaan... Pop, of course. {hard decision in there, though}. Xaasid or Asbax? _________________ Macsalaama!!

Salaan... Ooooh, baliis. This man, If my memory of him serves better, is one of the worst internal enemy Muslim world had ever produced itself. He really hated Islaam and anything associated with it. He publicly said he wasn't sure if he was a Muslim, or a Christian either. But, he knew was Turkish to the bone. Loved it. Worshipped it much. He completely tried to uproot Islaam from Turkey and its surrounding areas. Luckily, it didn't really affected that much. And thank Allah for that. But, we do now know how he really changed Turkey forever. At least since then. Two possitive things I heard about him are that he saved {whatever it means} Turkey from completely sliced by then powerful houses of Europe, particularly from the thirstly and bloody Greeks who desperately wanted to recapture Istanbul {Constantinople to them}. And second good thing about him is he outlawed much of other sects, who barely resembled about Islaam in any way. Especially, the Alawite sect who somehow incorporated fire in their prayers. Muslims worshipping FIRE!!! Oh, this man really disliked Islaam and I don't personally like to read his biography or any book to do with him. He is a man who thought dressing like a European would make you a very EDUCATED person. He is a man who shamely changed the whole name system of Turkey, especially erasing the title Pasha mostly used by Cusmaaniyiintii and its officials at that time. ________________ Macsalaama!!

Salaan... Since some folks do take everything too seriously, it is about time they have a little wisecracks and enjoy this piece. Since this piece even combines us Muslims and humour--in a way. Relax, enjoy and have a little some qaxwo while reading it. Not enough, how about a cup of isbarmuuto. Oh, yeah, with ice, of course. ________________ There is such a thing as Muslim humor. No, really. I was asked to write about Muslim humor. What? Muslim humor? Now that is funny! Jokes...about Muslims??? Isn’t that HARAAM? Of course not. After all, we Muslims follow a prophet who not only smiled often, but one who laughed so heartily that his teeth showed. In our striving to make a difference in this world, we often forget that. Plus, in these difficult days, there isn’t much to laugh about. But laughter might just be the remedy that we all need. The image most Muslims have about comedy is that it makes light of serious situations, and consequently trivializes things. It is true, comedy does make light of situations, but if it’s done right, it sheds light and perspective rather than trivializes. Even further, comedy brings wisdom in a way that straight commentary just can’t do. I’ve seen it myself countless times, as I’m sure you have too. But when it comes to Muslims and comedy, we seem to be lacking something. We’re afraid to laugh at ourselves. When we cultivate the ability to laugh at ourselves, that also gives us a license to make ironic (and insightful) points about others. It’s one of the most effective methods of communication and understanding. Through humor, people learn about you. In a way, you become more human. I think I know more about Jewish culture and Jewish people from watching Seinfeld than I have by reading any book on the topic. But how many people think it’s funny that I found more than two seams on my ihram after I performed Hajj? Or my dad buying ten cases of “Islamic vinegar?” “Huh? No, Baba, it’s balsamic!” So who am I? Why should you care what I think about Muslim humor? Well, for starters, I’m an Iraqi, my wife is Indo-Paki and my son’s name is Zaki (now say that five times really fast). I was born in Baghdad (don’t laugh), reared in Phoenix (quit the snickering), and now I live in Hollywood (okay, will you guys just STOP?). I was your average high school class clown/drama geek. I lettered in speech and I wanted to major in theater in college. And, like your average class clown/drama geek, I was “strongly encouraged” by my dad to do something more practical. So, I became an engineer, reluctantly. Yet, even while I was being “practical,” the impractical (and unfulfilled) side of me sought out places to be creative. I auditioned for Community Theater and took acting courses and loved it. I even got a gig imitating Jerry Lewis in an ice show at a major theme park (no, I didn’t skate. You’re still laughing, aren’t you?). I eventually wound my way to New York and received formal training at the Actors Studio. And now I’m an actor. An actor who happens to be an American Muslim--one of a small but growing number. Though I love to make people laugh (some would say I "need" to make people laugh), I consider myself an actor rather than a comic. But at Muslim functions, I’m always asked to do some sort of stand-up routine. And, since Henry V’s Saint Crispin’s Day speech wouldn’t go over too well at a Muslim fundraiser, I usually do a few impersonations and they usually love it. At a youth camp, I once wrote and performed a skit called "Xaraam oooor Xalaal." It was a game show parody where the host would state a situation and the contestants would buzz in their answer whether it was "xaraam" or "xalaal." Q. A horse you are riding stops to drink from a trough that you know has alcohol in it. Haraam oooor Halaal? A. Haraam because, if the horse sweats, the alcohol might transfer to the rider. Needless to say, the skit created some controversy. Some people thought I was making light of the prophet (PBUH), but my intention was only to parody our own zeal and preoccupation with minutia. Others failed to even get the jokes and approached me afterwards concerned that they hadn’t known about some of the sins and wanted to clarify the rules so they could be sure to stay clear of them. I couldn’t believe it--talk about mired in the minutia! Though I assured them that the skit was only a parody, something tells me there’s a whole generation of kids out there secretly nervous about riding on drunk horses. So my hope is that, one day, we (Muslims in particular) can say "no pork on my fork please" and it can be as funny and as part of our lexicon as saying gefilte fish. I also think we need to start writing and telling stories from our perspective rather than letting others tell us and the rest of the world who we are. That’s my hope...and it’s also my goal as an American Muslim comedic actor, inshaAllah. . . . InshaAllah... "The dinner will be at 6:00, inshaAllah." "I will do my best, inshaAllah." When my sister-in-law was a kid, she thought "inshallah" meant "probably not," as in: "Mom, can we go to Disneyland?” "InshaAllah." Or: "Mom, can I have a pony?" "InshaAllah." ...(Now you can laugh) ________________ By Kamaal al-Marayati ________________ Admins, baliis do not move this thread into the jokes section. See, some of our brothers and sisters are so serious, they rarely visit the jokes section or never visit it. See, this is exactly what they need. Laughing sometimes is good for your health--and for your wealth too {don't ask me how yet, }. And you can come back to your serious business after a little cracks. I promise you won't be disappointed. _________________ Macsalaama!!

Salaan... Passport is a passport. Nothing else, yaqeey. Mujaahid, I don't know anyone who did something outrage to obtain a passport, but I do know some weird stories about who got a REAL passport from their adopted countries. There was this guy who used to live in Sacuudiya. Who was so discriminated while living there. Treated like a dirty man. Finally, got a chance to come to Canada. Settled Canada. Lived here for a while, and worked hard enough to earn some enough $$. And finally, he got what his big grin on his face says it all: the REAL passport and being a real citizenship of his adopted country. With his $$ on his account, he decided to revenge against the Sacuudis. Went back there. Upon his arrival, by leaving from the airplane, he was wearing SHORTS. And faranjees t-shirt. Just to offend the very first Sacuudi person he sees. Well, by coming the counter, there was already some strange lookings from the locals. Dropped his passport on the counter, and spoke some hip-hop, rap-like English, with a voice like a drunken fishermen. They immediately thought he was a lost African-Canadian adoon. That proved exactly what he wanted. Well, all month long he stayed on Sacuudiya, the looks on him got more and more. Since he knew Carabic perfectly, he could overheard them talking about him and saying all of these darn stuff about madoow and how darn they are. He just kept staring at them saying, "What! You talking to me! Speak aloud!" Of course that was in a deliberate English. And they would keep their mouths shut. Ar maan, waa ka raayi yaqeey. And finally, he got exactly what he wanted. Just that. Because some even worshipped him, since thinking he was a big time Adoon with a lot of $$ on his back. You know Carabta are so xariif yaqeey, they know when you are a real Adoon and when you are a real fake adoon with $$. LoL. ________________ And there was this story. This Soomaali faarax lived in U.S.A. Sponsored his family. But there was some major problems and it required him to travel to all the way to Utange, Kenya. Utange was a refugee camp Soomaalis used to live. Upon his arrival, he wanted to meet the top official who was responsible about the sponsorship operations. He had been told the location where the official has on her office. He went there to the next day. Upon his arrival, and thinking to enter without a permission to her inner office, this security guard caught him and told him to stay back. He told him saying I am an AMERICAN. Showing his passport and other identifications. Well, since the security guard was a Kenyan--who always thought Soomaalis are Soomaalis. Nothing else. To make a long story short, the high officer heard the arguments and came out. He told her that he was a naturalized American into and more than two decades and this mere mortal security guard couldn't allow him to see her, a fellow citizen. She was so MAD. Yelling, "How dare you keep an American outside and not allow to see me??!!" Well, the poor security guy lost his job. And had plenty of little dharbaaxo--face slappings. __________________ And then there is this further story. This xaajiyo was getting her citizenship. In Canada, people over the age of 65 aren't required to answer the questionaire book or submit any tests. And this xaajiyo was older than 65. Finally, when she all got her papers and had become officially a Canadian, the interviewer simply asked her interpreter if she can name the current prime minister of Canada. Just little question and nothing else. Xaajiyo was quick to answer back saying, "Oooh, that AF QALOOC guy. Who speaks French when he talks one side of the jaw, and speaks English on the other side." When it was interpreted, the official was laughing so hard. And said finally, "You really, ma'am, do deserve to be a Canadian." LoL. By the way, only those in Canada know how our Prime Minister talks when he tries to speak. His mouth is like a broken cheeks. __________________ And you are asking us if a new passport from another country does anything for us. It does wonders :cool: and it does nothing. __________________

Salaan... WooooooooooooooooooooW, aqiyaarta. Am I glad to see all of you in that mood or what. It is really a special day. And we should be grateful into it. Again, Soomaali Hanoolaatoo, Ha is raacdo. Dalka soo anigu malihi?? Haa Haa Haa!!! Dhulka soo anigu malihi?? Haa Haa Haa!!! Ninkii gumeysi wade bee geeridda dhibeysaa, Waqtigii dhamaayoo waa dhaqaaqi donaa And Ilahoo Soomaaliya kadhig dalkii ku baarbaaro nabad, barwaaqo iyo bash bash: Amiiiiiin!! Peace to our nation. The Rock's Chick: Speaking of Canada Day and you being in Koronto, there is a higher chance that you went to that ruwaayad xaleey. Didn't you???!! Laa Ilaaha, Ilaa laaah...was it hot {speaking of the weather, that is } or what? It was my very first time going to ruwaayad {actually, it was a semi-concert} and what did I see? Our sisters competing who is wearing the tighest clothes. :eek: :eek: In this case, even the most Hollywood's Jennifer Lopezes would seem girls who live in a MODEST territory. To be honest with you, our sisters went far and far. _________________ Macsalaama!!

Salaan... Kowda Luulyo is a day we should--would--never forget. No matter how or what. Or where we are. Happy to you all, my fellow nomads. Soomaali hanoolaato. Soomaali ha guuleysato. Soomaali ha midoowdo. __________________ Macsalaama!!!

Salaan... Aqiyaarta, idinka aaba ila fahanteen. Ar some of you did ask me where I got these eccentric laws from. Oh, just the next door yaqeey. Yeah, www.dumblaws.com And hoorah, you are there. There are so many of them on that site. Nuune: Abaa waa camiranee yaah. Ebidkeey ma maqlin naago timaha loo xaabinaayo oo basayuul dirito laga dhigaayo. Sharcigaas intuu ka socdaa? Ar tuuladii aa ka socotey aa waxaas ka dhici jireen aa filaa. LoL. ___________________ Macsalaama!!

Salaan... Lakkad, yeah duqa. The boys will be the old boys again. The likes of Mattheaus, Klinsmann, Voller, and the rest. The old famous, beautiful jerseys will once again shine. Count on us, you Brazilian sambas. We are still the Boys who made in 1990 World Cup finals Maradona cry--for bad. Now, enjoy the old memories from that Cup. Bakinbaawar lee dheh. Remember this rigooro: Remember that one, Samba fans? Well, that will repeat itself. Only this time, will the players be Brazilians--CRYING OUT ALOUD. Now, watch us on this Sunday. _______________ Macsalaama!!

Salaan... Iyaaah, mahaan dey Sawaaxili aaba jac iyo juq laga siinoyaa, maan. Wewe kuli umbaya kabisa. Xagiyaa Mungo. Saasaa gaani wakara bisha, saa niini, ya samaaniya. Kamansiyaa, leeta kabaandha biloosho? Hakuna kabaandha. Leeta $$, iko naaniya hakuna doolariya. Ar kaas af Kiikuuyo uu ahaa. Afkaas maxaa ka helaa hee. Af Kiikuuyo nooh. Saan lee ma dhihi jirinoo: Atararee oo kahaa aahaah. You would really think they are really laughing when they speak. Kiikuuyo dheh bo. _____________ Macsalaama!!

Salaan... These are some wacky laws that do exist in some countries on this world. Some are really, really beyond the description of being wacky and bizarre. Yet, they do exist and are enforced laws. Oh yeah, some did exist and are ancient laws; and they aren't imposed laws anymore, however they are still laws that should be respected. Oh, enjoy. And heed this, it is no joke. They are REAL laws. Thai Laws: It is illegal to leave your house if you are not wearing underwear {they are kidding, right? No jaamac would leave without his cali falaax}. You must wear a shirt while driving a car {I don't know why, though}. Singaporean Laws: Failure to flush a public toilet after use may result in very hefty fines {head this, boys. If you ever visit Singapore, never forget this}. It is illegal to pee in an elevator {if you ever encounter Jameekans dhalinyaro, tell that law; those who live in Koronto know them very well}. The sale of gum is prohibited, but any person can chew it. French Laws: Between the hours of 8AM and 8PM, 70% of music on the radio must be by French artists. An ashtray is considered to be a deadly weapon {if hashtariig is that deadlier, what about cigarettes?}. Australian Laws: Children may not purchase cigarettes, but they may smoke them {this is finer than that French law above}. It is illegal to walk on the right hand side of a footpath. English Laws: A bed may not be hung out of a window {oh yeah, you can say that some idiot who is moving, trying to think wisely, can try to do this}. It is illegal for a lady to eat chocolates on a public conveyance {or so it has BEEN}. It is illegal to leave baggage unattended {who will, legally speaking, will leave his goodies unattended}. Committing suicide is classified as a capital crime {yeah, if only the suicider person survives, though}. Excluding Sundays, it is perfectly legal to shoot a Scotsman with a bow and arrow {centuries old you may call. But does this still exist? Or this really shows how Englishmen really hated their fellow Scots?}. Destroying or defacing money is illegal {oh, yeah. How rich this person might be to do this}. Chinese Laws: To go to college you must be intelligent {or should we say, intelligent ENOUGH. Adduun mucjisadiis lee}. Swiss Laws: It is illegal to flush the toilet after 10 P.M. if you live in an apartment {where are Reer Dixon? Oh, they are in Koronto, not in Switzerland, LoL.}. A man may not relieve himself while standing up, after 10 P.M. {Aha??!! :confused: }. If you forget you car-keys inside the car and you leave the car open, you will be punished {oh, yeah, only babuur qanax eh}. Moroccan Laws: Anyone in company with someone who possesses narcotics, even if they are unaware that their companion has them, can be tried for the same crime {WooooooW!! :eek: Give me a break}. South Korean Laws: Traffic police are required to report all bribes that they receive from motorists {this is so funny, maan}. Italian Laws: Striking someone with a fist is considered a felony {if it isn’t felony, what EXACTLY it is then? Oh after all, it is a fist. Better say you can't have your hand}. A man may be arrested for wearing a skirt {in Talyaaniga, you can’t wear MACAWIIS in public. Oooooh, maaan}. Canadian Laws: Citizens may not publicly remove bandages { I didn’t know this. Bas waaye, Canadian maba noqoyaani nooh}. Dutch Laws: It is legal to smoke pot, buy it, or have less than 5 grams with you {rejoice, Cocaine people and your marijuana partners. Faarax, noo. Jaad is banned in that country, but you can smoke some pots }. Danish Laws: Attempt to escape from prison is not illegal, however, if one is caught he is required to serve out the remainder of his term {how easy, fellas}. No one may start a car while someone is UNDERNEATH the vehicle {maan, this is getting funnier}. American Laws: In Utah, first cousins can marry, but only after they're 65 years old {now, u sheeg faarax iyo caasho inee tan soconeynin}. In Utah, birds have the right of way on all highways {perhaps, we need the definition of a ‘bird’}. Training a bear to wrestle is a felony in Alabama {gees hadii tahey bo samee horta}. In Delaware, it's illegal to sell perfume as a drink {yaa marqaansan oo barfuun sharaab u maleeyo?}. In Ohio, it is illegal for more than five women to live in a house {now, xaliimiyaashiin iskaabulo Ohaayo ku dagan ogaada hee taas }. In New York, the penalty for jumping off a building is death {yeah, this works perfectly if the person ‘tries’ to jump, but didn’t or if the person jumped, but lived enough to face the charge}. A recently passed anticrime {in Texas} law requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed [perhaps, Mr. Bush forwarded and legislated this law while he was the Governor of that State}. In West Virginia, it is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs. In Louisiana, you may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant {hadii xariif iyo geesi tahey, samee bo :cool: }. In Maine, You may not step out of a plane in flight. :eek: In Maryland, it's illegal to take a lion to the movies {yes that means a lion can’t be your best friend to have a fun and take to a theatre}. ________________ Macsalaama!!

Salaan... For the last couple weeks, Fifa polled the football fans around the world to choose their Dream Team. More than a million and half responded. I was one of them. But, the sad thing is some strikers on this so-named Dream Team is beyond my comprehension. Some real good players had been left off. And that is so sad. We see players like Romario and Baggio making the list, while it leaves the good old ones that conjures the mind: Socrates, Mathiaus, Ruud Gullit, Zico, and among hall of famers left unchosen. This is what the fans had chosen to be their Dream Team: If you don't know who is who on that picture, here are that famous familiar faces' names. From the top forwarders, from left to right: Joon Garuuf {John Gruff, a Dutchman}, Beele {Pele, a Brazilian} and Romaariyo {Romario, a Brazilian also} Midfielders, from left to right: Maaradona {Maradona, Argentinian}, Sidaane {Zidane, a French man}, Baajiyo {Baggio, Italian}, and Balaatini {Platini, French} Defenders, from left to right: Maldiini {Maldini, Italian}, Bakinbaawar {Beckenbauer, German}, Karloos {Carlos, Brazilian} The goalkeeper: Liif Yaashin {Lev Yashin, Rusian} Some do, no questions asked, deserve to be on that list, but kamoon Baggio is on while Mathiaus, Zico, Hagi or even Valderamma are not. Kamoon, that is something else. What about Romario? Didn't the fans have a chance to see other forwarders; other great, great forwarders. Among them, Ruud Gullit, Klinsman, Rossi, Van Basta, Careca, etc. And look at the defenders. While Beckenbauer deserves, others are not certainly. Just take a look at Carlos. Does he deserve to be on that list? I don't think so, while we have a real great defenders of all time. Among these: Rummenige, Frank Baresi, etc. Well, the fans have spoken, but certainly that wasn't my list. __________________ Macsalaama!!

Salaan... Ar iyaah, arlaadaan runtii cashar cusub aaba ka socdo. Ereyada qaarkiin dhaheen ii koow dheh bo. Bas waaye, sabuuradda aa anigana soo taxaa. Ee ila arka hee aqiyareey. Qaarkood kuwaan toban sano kahor ay socdeen. Xataa kuwoo sodon sano dheh bo. __________________ Jeego dheerkaan dey. Qaloole waaxid. Qulumbe. Af miinshaar abooto mudac {actually, a maahmaah}. Yaa ismoodey. Nalkaa iga dansan. Dab ma shidan labadaan bari {ar markii Soomaali la joogey oo dagaalka saa’id u socdey oo raashin aad u adkaa ay socon jirtey}. Gis. Yur. Kac. Shiid waaxid. Kan waaba igu keen keeney. Qaaf uu kugu qufaa. Boota ahaa. Aheey waa kaa hayaa, aboow {abaay}. Iga qaleey yaqeey. Saan maaba la iskugu cabaa bo. Iga wareegso. Aneeba iga jab jabantahey yaqeey. Jug jug, soo soco hee. Bajaq {waxee socotey labaatan sano kabadan tan} Kaasmaayo {same, around more than fifteen years} Cusmaanta {this is new one, hadii kaasmaayo u taqaanid adi lee waaye}. Futac baano-ooliyo. Shuluq abuu butac, yacni yaa Nucmaan. Shitaawahaa taacun. Shitaawe. U fuuti yaqeey. Wajigiis maka taqanaa...{foorjadaan maxee mar socon jirtey, lakiin ciyaalka Xamar lee kuu kasaayo nooh}. Ilfuur waaxid. Isii mood hee. Ar indhahaa mulaxa eh iga leexi. Ateera waaxid. Adeerkaa taacun maxaa dhahaa. Ukuntiis dey. Kan camal ebedkeey ma isoo marin. Ha igu soo kala fireen. Alaalaxaan waa ka talaa. Anoo xaadir maa igu cabee? Ar yaa ku dhaley hee? Iska sii saar hee. Wiido ahaa. Haye, yaa wiideynee labadaan bari? Waa igu jirtaa. Faleebaa ii suran. Ku qabo miyaa, hilfaha u laab. Abaay manuurto. Dey hee. Mashiidiye {this one actually was around more than twenty years}. Axsaanta. Been-Been-Siidaa {BBC}. Jaamac {not any particular magac, mind you}. Faarax {this one too, not the magac}. Xaliimo {kor fiiri}. Caasho cadeey, aqbaaraa kuu hayaa {magacyada ma’aha}. Iga ganbiso nooh. Iga wareegso, abaa. Isii mood. Ha igu soo kala fireen hee. Mayooy. Intee u gabgabee. _________________ Sujuu. Falayt-dartiin {Flight 13}. Bug. Jeex jeex baasaboorka markii... Ceyr Kabaandha {kii Kenya soo marey waas yaqanaa}. Isdhiib. Rissboonsar. _________________ Macsalaama!!

Salaan... AAABO, WALAAHI MA SAMEYNIN!! Naa xaliimo, isii bakoorada yaqeey. Dhakab. War ha iga celin dhaaf. AAAAH!! AABO WAA TUGAA!!! GARKAA AA HEESTAA!! Idhaaf ha iga celin. Idhaaf yaqeey, waa edebdarsadey. AABOO, AABOOOO!!! AAAAAH!!! AABO GARKAA IYO JILBAHAA AA KUU HEESTAA!! MARDANBE MA U NOQONAAYI!!! Naa xaliimo hadii iga celisid adi bee bakoorada ku taqanaa. _______________ Excuse for that little qeylo. Cunug yar lee la saqarjoojinaayi, and noo hold your breath--don't call that Nayn-Nayn-Wan {911} number yet. It was only a pre-jimicsi, wali istumoowgii weynaa mala gaarin oo WASHAMSI iyo ISTUNKA camal ahaa. _______________ Macsalaama!!

Salaan... My God! :eek: :eek: :eek: Thirty-percent {as of this post} don't remember the last time they prayed. Maan, are those who had responded to that question serious? Well, let me remind you. The last time you prayed {8 out of 10 of that 30%} was last Ciid. And simple, last Ciid was February 22, 2002. I say that because most maryooleey, who don't regularly pray, salaad maka fakato maalinta Ciidda. Soomaali: Duqa, run maa la isku sheego. Salaad subax lee ugu xun. Salaadaha kale ubadi ma iga tagaan. Salaad subaxna waa jacburinoyaa. Ilahoo ummadaa u naxariiso: Amiin! __________________ Macsalaama!!!

Salaan... Sheekadaan qaarkiin waxaa laga yabaa inee aqriyeen mise maqleen, tii ama kii maqley caadi dhaha hee. Kii ama tii maqlinlina, waa tanaa iyadoo biis eh. _________________ Xariifkoo abuu reer jacburis eh aa Xamar soo galey. Ileen safar uu ka imadee, baahi aa ku dhagneed. Duhur ay ahayd. Mayaaqayadii ugu horeysay uu galey. Abuu Jacburis canbuulo kuleel uu dalbadey. Canbuuladii uu jig ka siiye. Markii uu dhameeye oo kistii ugu danbeeysay maraayo uu waxuu maqley kuwoo agtiisa fadhiyo oo baasto cunaayo oo biis, biis kuhaayo. Kuwii baasto iyo hilibkood oo biis aa loo keeney. Abkoow Abuu Jacburis waxuu u qaatey in Xamar baastada loogu yaqaano biis, ee intuu gacanta taagey uu asagana biis dalbadey. Kabalyeerigii oo xiimaayo aa saxan kale oo canbuulo galeey eh u keeney. Intii isku yax yaxay, uu canbuuladiis labaad oo cuni karin kasaarey. Calool dibir dheh. Habeenkii labaad, Abuu Jacburis waxuu is dhahey Xamar intii joogtid ka faa'ideyso. Ee bas marka, habeenkii labaad uu shaneemo galey. Meesha habeenkaas Jakeey Jaan {Jakie Chan} aa ka socdey, markii meel fiican mareyso aa dadkii oo dhan halmar qeyliye oo ku ciliyeen, 'biis, biis, biis!!!' Abuu Jacburis biis luu maqlee iyo waxuuna xasuustaa sheekadii shalay ku dacday, waa soo boodey. Saan madhahaayo hee: "Ilaaheygiin mataqaniin, biiska kale naga daaya walaaliyaal. Canbuulo kale cuni meene hada." Abuu Jacburis canbuulo iyo biis iskumid uu ka dhigey. Adduun caleeg dheh. _________________ Ah, truth must be told. It also happened to me. Yes, a similar, yet a different kinda version story happened to me two years ago. It was in Koronto back in the year of 2000. I was new to this city. And me being a little jinoole, waxaaba iska dhigaayi xoog inii kula qabsado. So, one day with a very friend--who used to live in Koronto a couple months prior I came around--aa maqaayad isku raacney, and only one day aa joogey Koronto. Bas marka saxiibkaan waxuu dalbey saxan bariis oo oo markii laba qof mise kabadan isla cunayaan, saxankaas bariiska reer Koronto waxay ugu yaqanaan isboortis. Maalintaas saaxiibkeey aa dalbey, oo caadi ayba ahayd. So, the next day, I went to the very same maqaayo and me assuming the aqiyaar thought; thinking what the heck, maa dalbatid isboortis. Isboortis waxaa u qaatey inii magaca bariis loogu badaley bo. Mise ha yaraado mise ha badnaado. Marka five minutes ka bacdi, waxaaba arkaa saxan weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyn oo SAB camal meesha la isoo hordhigey kaligeey. And I was like :eek: :eek: :eek: What the heck is this???!!! Kabalyeerigii meesha ka shaqeynaayi aa i dhahey, 'Ee, adi ma dalbaninoo isboortis?' Ar inii hofseed {offside} galo marabin nooh, ee si reer beysaanimo camal aa iskaga saarey. Ee markaas aa ku dhahey, "Duqa, yes, anaa dalbadey ee saxiibkeey inii imaanaayo aa u maleeye, lakiin wali ma imaan ee hada iska dhaaf isboortiska ee kusoo badal bariis hal saxan oo yar." Maxaa yeeley saxankaas oo badar intee geyn lahaa hee, hofseedna marabin yaqeey. Ar saas aa ugu baxay. Ee aqiyareey reer baadiye mise reer magaal iskumid lee la yahey, wixii nagu cusub hadii Soomaali nahey xoog inaa ku barano aa jecelnahey. Nasiibdaro, mar mar xoogaas masaconeyso. _________________ Macsalaama!!

Salaan... Beydaan: Iyaah, mey erti? Surwaalgaab faraha kaqaad yaah, yareey. Markii gargaab kudiiday aa gardheere soo adee yaah, now even gardheere maku rabo ee is marji sakiin toobas laq. Oh by the way, I was dragging along quite a nice fella for you. However, since {according to that post of yours above} you do not interest even a semi-surwaalgaab, I should reconsider for helping you out there. See, most of my assumed applications {including the nice fella's one} have come from gardheeriyaal. Luula: I already got one xaliimo--got three more scores to attain. Got the jiil-jiilo {or as you call them eggs} too. We already set forth ten eggs, to tie my father's record, which is 22, I am already, with a timely set, practicing for my next big event's game--the next egg to settle. I will be tireless man until I make sure I got 22 jiil-jiilo under my grip, then even we can talk about the posibility of having the fifth xaliimo. _______________ Macsalaama!!

Salaan... And now, I got what? Nothing. Now, let me get my smiles back. I lost three hours of sleep creating that. And I got nothing back. Bax tutigiin hadii mar danbe afka baruuriyo bo ha i dhihin jaamac :mad: . __________________ Macsalaama!!

Salaan... Waraa Jamaal, adi filinkaa aboosto waaye lakiin hal feer maku jiro see camaleeto? Maan, see promotion ku sameyneynaa. See, we want it to be a blockbuster from the reactions of the Cabdoowis in Baydhabo to the Qamarjis in Hargeysa. So, you better change your script and make it inclined toward like a Western-Spaghetti yaqeey. At least add a couple of more xag-xaggasho, if feer is too much violent for your movie, since it had been dubbed 14-Minus. See, Soomaali ajendi iyo Kalint Estoot {Clint Eastwood} lee ka heshaa, ee marka u macaaneey. And I thought I was the promoter. Surely. I will call my regional representives. Ee marka saxiiboow, scriptkaa minor change ay u baahantahey yaqeey. Faarax feer iyo bud la'aan filin ma fiirsan karo yaqeey. __________________ Macsalaama!!

Salaan... Libin, 'stupid,' I knew that. Kidding over there. Actually, we all know that. It is a fact and every sound-minded person should know. ________________ Macsalaama!!

Salaan... Concerned-Sister: LoL. Shiirtooy dheh. Yac. Uunsi iyo maxee isku dartey horta? Maan. Uunsi, huruud, cadar iyo huruudkoo kale oo cilaan eh ay isku soo bil bishaa filaa. Taqwa: Maan, waraa adi you are so ninjo nooh, xataa gooskaa la arko goormaa noogu danbeesay oo qososhid. Kamoon, duqa. Mar mar kud-kud-dhaq-dhaq caafimaad waaye nooh. Xataa xadiis waa kusoo qaban karaa inii qosolka caafimaad lee yahey. Kidding brother. Yeah, they should leave the full-equiped with xijaab {or is it niqaab?} sister alone. A one like this: Ninja dheh bo. ________________ Macsalaama!!

Salaan... MCC, yeah. Count me on. Koronto lost its electricity some days ago though, but we will come again next year, once again illuminating our wonderful light of Koronto. And will have this Silver-Nothing trophy in the near future: And heey, look at it, there is MY name somewhere on it. But you need a little toorbino in order to see it. _________________ Macsalaama!!

Salaan… Ar maalintoo naagtoo Safar ku imaatey Xamar oona markaas ugu horeysay wax dooro ah Xamar keento, yacni beecmushtar. Dooradaas bas lee Xamar usoo wadey. Bas kontoroolkii Xamar markee soo gaartey, aa Isbatoorihii meshaas u diray sarkaalka hoose inii siisoowga doorada kabuuxdo ay wadato baaro. Sarkaalkii aa soo korey siisoowga weyn, baaritaanka ka bacdina markaas weydiiyey su’aal caadi iska eh, "Eedo, doorooyinka meeqo xabo waaye?" Islaantii intii sanif gishay aaba xanaaq sanka u imaadey, sarkaalkiina baabuurka jug iyo jac kaga soo tuurtey. Iyagoo isla murmaayo ayaa kii Isbatoorihii soo dhex galey. Markaas aa Isbatoorihii dhahey, "Xaa ku baalal badan; yahooy dooradaan xagaad u wadaa?" Islaantii sii sanif hee oo xanaaq sakaraad eh. Islaantii aa soo booday, "Dee kii ugu weynaa baa naag hoosteeda wax ka sheegaya, dee nimankaan aqlaaqda iyo bilaa edebdarada bartey maxee yihiin? War meeyi dadkii la yaqiinay." Wareer iyo warkeed lee. ______________ Macsalaama!!

Salaan... The following quotation is reputed to be the transcript of an actual courtroom cross-examination of a doctor on the witness stand by a defense attorney. Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?" Doctor: "No." Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?" Doctor: "No." Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?" Doctor: "No." Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?" Doctor: "No." Lawyer: "How can you be so sure?" Doctor: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar." Lawyer: "But, could the patient have still being alive nevertheless?" Doctor: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere." _________________ Macsalaama!!

Salaan... Meshaan torobo su'aal lee ku nacay. Yac! Hokey, hokey. Hal erey oo isku fasiro shaqsigaa aah? Maan, ga iga sii yaqeey. Alright, let me try: Bacoow Asbax Qumeey Duli Jinoole-aw-Jacburis Xaasid Qamarji Quuqle Qaacin Turoofotoore Shuufle Xaaji Dhagax Sorry, I know what you were waiting for: a one word that fits me. And I ain't got that word, since, remember, I qaulify all of these above mentioned words. If you persist to know that the word that I do not got, it is friendly. _______________ Macsalaama!!