Haye, waa yahay raali ha noqdaan.

Dad lagu force gareeye uma ekeen. There should have been a warning. Warka si caadi ah u baxay habeenkaas. Laakiin they apologized later on the next evening news, that graphic video was a mistake to show. Having said that, I liked to watch their Salaamaha show host. What was her name? Darn, magac baas ee lahayd. Oh yea, Bishaaro. Yaaba iloowi karo. She had had this beautiful mischievous, playful smile.

Maxaa ku xigto laga warbixiyo? Saalax oo ku fadhiistay sariirtiisa? Saalax oo musqusha galay? Saalax oo soo toosay cadeysanaayo?

It was somewhere in Janaayo of this year when we were watching Universaltv news in Islii when they unexpectedly showed us a stoning of a poor man in Afgooye. Walaahi shock baa igu dhacay. The video aad iyo aad ayee clear u ahayd, broadcasting it for long minutes kusoo celcelinayaan ninka la stone gareynaayo cabaadka ka baxaayo. They later realized their mistake since they didn't re-broadcast that news clip again and apologizing on the air. A lot of parents called them, methinks. This tells you meesha management iyo kala dambeyn kama jirto. Ninba wax uu iska soo gilinaa. Their news feeds at the bottom of the TV's screen waa horrible sometimes, I mean spelling-wise. Afsoomaali ayee ku ciyaarayaan. No professionalism. Plus, sometimes it stays on there for days, repeating again and again. I am glad they are trying to change since the beginning of the year, Soomaalinizing many English terms, sida 'live' oo lagu badalay 'si toos ah.'

Wax badan baa lead gareynaa, waliba burcadbadeednimo ka sareyso. Dib ugu noqo.

Posting this message in an iPad. Of course, at an Apple store. Waxa waa madax xanuun, not to mention qiimaha qaaliga ah.

Kashafa iyo seeftiisa banaanka oo bacaad lagu garaacaayo. Busta aad isku wasaqeyneysid iska kala yaree lee. Noo sheeg yaa 'jihaad' u taagan maanta? Ma Barbaarta? Ma kuwa Ururka Islaamka la baxay? Ma kooxda Raaskambooni? Noo sheeg kuwa 'jihaadka' saxda ah wato intaa jihaad jihaad ku heysid. Haddee beri xataa AMISOM baxaan, waala ogyahay inay marmarsiyo dhamaaneynin. Heck, AMISOM oo bixin ayaaba la isku sugi waaye seefta la isla dhacay in Kismaayo iyo Jubbooyinka kale. Yaanan la isku been cabin. Adiga, aniga iyo yariiska shaley dhashay wada og in kuwaas Barbaarta la baxay xal iyo rajaba dalkeena usoo wadin. Taas waala wada ogyahay, waxooda waa hore fashilmay, not to me but kuwa awalba chance siinaaye. Aniga from day one waaba kasoo horjeedee wax qeyr iyo wanaag ah inay soo wadin waaba ogaa. Worse of it, they are occupying our home in Xamar, wixii yaalayna bililiqeystay. That home Cali Mahdi iyo Caydiid oo meesha ka dhigay meel burburtay oo Bermuuda loo bixiye ayuu ka badbaaday. Not anymore. It is their new base now. They called the owner -- that is my old man -- a "murtad" and it is xalaal to occupy a "murtad's" house in their twisted, abhorrent version of Islaam. They are calling him "murtad" because dowlad buu ku jiri jiray ayee maqleen. Waxaas baa jaahilnimo la dhahaa oo 'jihaadna' noo wado. Kan aaminsan ayaana kasii jaahilsan, I believe. No, I am not against them because of this. This is nothing. They have done worse. Nope, I was -- and still am -- against them since day one, wax xal Soomaaliyeed inay soo wadin waa ogaayee.

Nuunka intaan qoray waligey ma arkin. Nuunka kuwaas cashar aa u dhigtee, adigana balaayo kaa soo qufeen. Saas lagaa rabaa. Too waxaa isoo xasuusisay maalin years ago a pamphlet of the Bible ii dhiibtay. Which version is it weydiiye. One of the new versions ayee ku jawaabtay. How could I believe this version is unblemished and can stand out from other hundreds of versions aan iri. Kanaa u saxsan kulahaa. First, idinka isa soo saxa ku iri and left her on there.

He chose a Canadian bank, a soft target.

at Hunguri. Maadka Maanuur Maadeey, aniga maa qaldan mise...? Yacni waxaa ula jeedaa meesha aad ku tilmaamtay Shaleemo Soomaali inay ku taalay tii la dhihi jiray Shaleemo Waaberi. Taas inay Shaleemo Waaberi ahayd jeclahay. Iyada iyo Shaleemo Hodan oo Dabka ku taalay wey isku dhawaayeen. Aqiyaartiina makiinada cajiinka fahmin, maxaa idiin sameynaa hee. Wax la sharxi karo ma'ahee. Let's just say it was the Tim Hortons of Xamar back in the day. And those who are not familiar with Tim Hortons brand, soori si kale uma sii micneyn karnee.

Waraa Tuujka maraa ka baxaayo imaatay. Warbixin iyo wargalin faah faahsan waa lagaa siinaa mar kale. Vancouver iyo Alberta si baas ayee kuwa qamriga cabo u buuxaan. Somehow, I don't know. Siiba Edmonton caadi ayee ka tahay waxa bahashaas duliga ah cabo. Haddeeba daroogana kusii darsadeen, Allahood alla. Rabi hasoo hanuuniyo.

Awright, girls (err, I mean marwooyin ), I will call it a night. As always, Reer Kanada having some fun. Habeen wacan.

NNC, isamaan ma'aha. Su'aashaada ka jawaabay bas lee. I guess I shouldn't have answered. Aaliya, qurux bas lee laguma crush gareeyo. Wax badan kale jiro. Don't make me spill. No, no, I won't.

Dad qurbo iyo dibadjoognimo ku wareeray iyo their fantasies.

I said 'boyhood.' That is the key term. These days anaa la igu crush gareeyaa, not vice versa.

Waa u dadaashay inta awoodid. Islii isoo xasuusisay. Waa xaafadda Soomaalida Nayroobi. Haddaa irida ka baxdidba laba ama sadex wax ku weydiisaneyso, qaarkood Soomaali, kuwa kale Kenyaati. Qaarkood ciyaalkooda kuu soo diraayo kaa daba ordaayo maanta dhan. I was kindhearted in the initial weeks oo wax ka buuxiye, but magaalo dhan ma deeqsiin kartidee wadno adeygnimo isku beeray markii dambe. Rabi ha u sahlo dadkaas dhibaateysan again.

Qofta wey i dhali kartaayee iga wareegsada, see camalkiina nooh. Actually, I had more boyhood crush on this .

Dad wada rabo inay xukumaan laakiin rabin in la xukumo waa Soomaali. Xataa banooni ugu yar laguma heshiin karo. Everyone wants to be a referee, a player, a calanwade and a goalkeeper at the same time. Waxna looma sheegi karo, waa in uu kaliya wax sheegaa, oo warkiisa la maqlaa. Darmaan uma arko in uu Soomaalida ka daranyahay. He is just more into it, waa ficilkiis instead of fadhi ku dirirka kuwa afka ku haayo noqon lahaa. Soomaali badan ayaa buufiskiisa wada haayo, he is just aiming more and banaanka iskeenay.

Landhan, UK, ayee dukaan ku leedahay maqlay. Inaa raadiyo fiicneyd. Probably, though, a football team ayee heysataa. Aaliya, adigana you don't use ereyga 'waryaa' soo ma'aha. It ain't erey wanaagsan, either. Mise naayaa is bad, waryaa is not miyaa sheekada?

Shaleemo Soomaali Howlwadaag inay ku taalay ma u maleynaayi. Tiyaatarka inay u dhawayd jeclahay. Ninkii Uunlaaye la dhahaaye lahaa. Taas iyo Shaleemo Nasar.

Luuq luuq maroow laasim laamigaas kusoo dhacaa miyaa sheekada.

Maskiinta Rabi ha u sahlo nolosha. Wax ma siisay, mise shiid aan ahay ku tiri?

Aaliya, 'naayaa' maba isticmaali shaqsi ahaantey. I call both sexes of children 'waryaa.' Laakiin for sake of it ugu qoray meesha. NNC, if you really want to see Qalanjo oo si fiican u baashaaleyso, . She is the one in the green cambuur. She used to be every boy's secret crush back in the day. Telefashinka Xamar laga soo saari jiray. We boys loved her.

Walaahi Soomaali waa dulmareysaa meel walba, dalmarnimo waa dhaafeen. Probably Victoria, Surrey, Kelowna iyo Richmond wey wada joogaan filaa, too.

War ereyga waa 'diriyam', darn it. Mise 'diriyan' waa dhihi kartiin. Maxee tahay 'diryaan'? Balaayo idin diryaantay. Dhaqanka Soomaalida ayee ka hadleysaa Qalanjo, yacni waligiis ha jiro oo yuunan damin. Micnaha ereyga 'diriyam' {ama diriyan} meel loo micneeyo maleh, waa iska oraah dhaqameed lala qabsado, I believe. I like the word, though. Diriyam. It sounds beautiful to my Soomaalis ears. I don't even mind calling this as a name for my daughter, hadduu Eebbe idmo. "Naayaa, Diriyan, kaalay inta..." "Haye, aabo."