Bismilah
Asalamalikum Preedy
Dear Sister, I just wanted to remind you that committing zina is horrible sin in Islam and that you should start repenting while you are still breathing and living. There will come a day when you will have to face your lord, please don't wait until that day.
I also advice you to turn back to your beautiful religion. Believe me there is nothing else in this world, whether human or otherwise that can offer you the peace and tranquility that Islam can.
This man has not done you anything good. He took your honour and dignity. and voilated you as a woman. So please try to forget him, and fear Allah.
Allah has warned us in the Quraan about Zina, it's considered a grave sin, and breads very scarry punishments here on earth and the hereafter if one doesn't repent from it.
Repentance from Zina
Ibn Abbaas (RAA) said: There is no major sin if one asks for forgiveness, and there is no minor sin if one persists in repeating it.
So if one wants to repent from having made the great sin of Zina he should remember these 4 things..
1) Do not despair, for Allah the Most Exalted and Glorified said in the Quran "Say: Oh my servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the mercy of Allah, for Allah forgives all sins; for He is oft-forgiving, most merciful." [surah 39, Verse 53]
2) Let your repentance be truly from your heart, and stay away from all sources of temptations. Also, perform many good deeds, as good deeds abrogate the bad ones.
3)If you repent to Allah, you are no longer described as a fornicator (zaani). Therefore, you can marry a chaste man or woman.
4) The believer has high hope and aspiration for the best from Allah. He not only asks Allah for making his punishment easy in hellfire, but he also prays to Allah the Almighty to save him from Hell and award him with paradise for his repentance and good deeds.