Meet Deeqo, a typical 22 year old Minnesotan Somali girl... standing at 5 foot 9 she is reasonably cute.. a hard working college student who is thriving to balance a demanding job and a extensive school schedule, Deeqo was no nerd though, she partied like an animal whenever she had a chance, yesterday was her last day at school, in celebration, she went out with a group of friends to some Farax concert in Laba dhagax hall in Minneapolis, after a long night of booty shaking Deeqo went to her modest public housing apartment in Cedar, tired as hell from a long night.. she crashed into her bed.. as she was about to fall asleep she saw this roach on the ceiling right above her bed, he was one humongous "mo fo", just like any other girl would feel, Deeqo got freaked out :eek: and jumped off her bed like her ass was electrocuted by 900 volt live wire.. she grabbed the nearest dacas and tried to smack the little b@stard, but as she was getting closer to him, he seemed to be getting bigger and bigger, disgusted by his hairy arms and shining brownish red shell Deeqo decided to back down and let someone with braver heart do the job...
Shit, I must wake up my punk ass brother to kill this filthy Roach Deeqo thought,. but I know his lazy ass wont do shit......humm wait.. I got an idea.. why don’t I go and take a long hot shower and by the time I am back he should be gone to his crappy home.. (so indeed Deeqo takes a shower and 1 hour later comes back to her room and sure enough Mr. Roach is still holding his position on the ceiling) dammn.. I cant believe this sucker is still there…says Deeqo to herself.. but you know what.. I will ignore his ass and go on the internet.. I know he will get bored and leave.. (Deeqo goes online and starts browsing SOL forums, 4 hours later, she feels kinda hungry so she goes to the kitchen to get some snacks, while she was there the roach flies off the ceiling and arrogantly lands his tiny ass on her keyboards, unsuspecting Deeqo comes back with a sack of chips and a cup of Shaax and sits in front of her PC then she observes the roach, freaks out again :eek: and yelles Allah Hoooyaaaaay then runs to the other end of the room.. the roach looks at hear and says..
Deeqo abaayo ma saas aa suuro badantahy ?
Deeqo looks around the room searching for the source of the voice.. perplexed enough.. she hears the same deep voice again saying..
OO wa ii quri la'dahay in aa xtaa ii firisid mya ?? Deeqo finally looks towards the computer to see the roach looking at her right in the eyes and gravely says Yes... its me :cool: ....
With what appeared to be no small shock, Deeqo dreadly stares at him. Wherever she may have been expecting the voice to come from, she had evidently never thought it would be a roach !! Nevertheless, the sight of this talking roach produced in Deeqo the following sequence: a feeling of astonishment; a sense of fear; and a sentiment of profound confusion. but Deeqo managed to pull herself together and in a breaking voice asked the roach.. Are you talking to me ?
No miss, I am talking to my ass !! the roach replies..
Can you tell me how is that possible.. am I dreamig ?? weeps Deeqo.
Walaahi you got jokes.. but too bad they are not funny.. said the roach with a deep voice that one would hardly expect, considering he is a lousy insect. undeniably , the contrast between his appearance and his voice was sufficiently surprising enough to be the freakest thing ever happened to Deeqo. So in a helpless attempt to hide her fear and confusion Deeqo forcefully says: ok. Now that you can talk, can you tell me what your filthy ass is doing on top of my keyboard ?
Roach: well.. I got something to ask you, and I will hit the road once I get an answer.....
Deeqo : sheeko,,, tell me what you got..
Roach: well.. I have been in your room for almost 6 hours now and you didn't even try to kill me, I was just wondering how come ?
Deeqo: and why would I want to kill you ?
Roach: It's a known fact you guys have been oppressing us since the beginning of time...it seems you don't want us to live in peace.. So for you not to kill me when you had a clear shot is quite peculiar to me!!
Deeqo: I guess killing is not in my nature then...
(the roach reaches for his pocket and pulls out a Marlborllo lights soft pack and politely asks) : do you mind if I smoke ?
Deeqo: No I don't, but you know that's not good for your health..
Roach: I know.. I guess its better to burn a cigarette than to burn my nerves with all the problems I m in..
Hay.. oo problems ka ku haystaa waa maxay.. asks Deeqo
Roach : trust me, you don't want hear about that.. anyways.. do you mind if I ask you another question ?
Deeqo (takes a seat next to the roach and answers): No, not at all..
The Roach takes a deep puff from his cigarette, closes one eye and stares at her with the other for a whole minute and says: are you available ?
Deeqo (astounded with the question): this is a weird question.. but why do you want to know ?
Roach: you kinda cute and I really like you.. I mean you have the personality and character going on..
Deeqo: So..
Roach: well, I was hoping to go out with you sometime..
Deeqo: but this has never happened before.. I mean I am a human and you are an insect..
Roach: Deeqo.. do you want me to be honest with you..
Deeqo: well yeah.. I would prefer that..
Roach: I love you..
Deeqo :eek: taken aback by that says..: I cant believe that.. you guys say that word but never mean it..
Roach: how could you say that.. how could you doubt my love, abaayo I fell in love with you from the first day I saw you.. trust me.. I am madly in love with you..
Deeqo: well.. that's sweet and nice to hear but..
Roach intrupts: but what Deeqo.. but what?
Deeqo: how are we suppose to be together ?
I don't think we will be different than all those love birds who overcame the impossible to unite their hearts..the Roach urged.. Deeqo baby I have been searching for someone like you.. your Smile dazzles me, honey my heart is captivated by your wit and beuty.. you gotta believe me..
Deeqo (moved by his words) replies: well thank you.. I have a feeling you are telling the truth.. but you know what though.. guys always lead us to fall in love with them just to get some ass. Are you sure that's not what you are after ?
Roach: honey I find it quite insulting for you think of me that way.. just like any other roach, I have sinned when I was young, but am much older and wiser now, baby all I want is Xalaalsha. I am really tired of playing girls and sleeping around.. I just want to settle down..
Deeqo: I am sorry I didnt mean to insult you, o just had to ask.. but tell me.. do you love me or are you in love with me ?
mystified by what seemed to him a silly question the roach replies: and whats the difference between the tow my love?
Deeqo: well if you love someone you are not crazy about him, but if you are in love then you will feel that person is everything in this world and if you lose him then you lost your life!!
Roach: Then I am sure I am IN LOVE with you my dear..
Deeqo: Aboowe you seem to have balwaad though, what else do you do other than smoking?
Roach: baby.. that's the only bad habbit I have, I swear I never drank beer or chewed Qaat in my whole life, in fact I don’t even like the people who do that.. so what do you think if we get married ??
Deeqo: well to be honest.. I was dreaming of a man who truly loves me, can take care of me, and knows how to fly.. (Deeqo blushes, looks down and contiues) and to be honest you seem to have it all... besides your game is tight…
Roach looks her in the eyes and slowly says: I am being myself honey.. I am just a simple roach declaring his true feelings to the girl he loves..
His smooth style and sexy voice sinked Deeqo deeper and deeper in his charm, consequently and without a disturbing impulse of resistance Deeqo's heart starts to pound real fast, and through her mind, -long harried by memories of cheating farax’s-, some fragmentary images of the lonely heart she has been, tormenting lines of verse, obstinate presentments of heartbreaks and indistinct impression of a true love finally found were mixing all together.. after a pause Deeqo replies, well baby if you love me that much.. then I love you too..
Unbelieving what he just heard, the roach literally flies in the sky, it seemed to him as if his eternal happiness was granted. So he asks.. Well honey I knew you are genuine girl, and I am sure you mean what you say.. but enough with that.. tell me when should we get married. love I am ready when you are..
Deeqo draws a childish smile on her face and says, well I am ready too, but if you want to marry me you gotta spend money.. we have to have our wedding reception in Hilton or Four Seasons hotel, I shall have you know I wont settle for less.
Roach with a sense of disappointment replies: Honey I would love to make the biggest wedding reception for us, but baby I have my mom and 8 other siblings in Nairobi I must support them and send them money.. I am working tow shift in tow different toilets, and I hardly make ends meet. So why would we want to spend thousands of dollars on a single night? Besides I cant face a crowd like that.. (the roach crawls closer to Deeqo, puts on of his 6 arms on her thigh and continues).. you know.. I was checking you out the other night while you were taking a shower.. Maan you got some booty..
Deeqo laughs blissfully and says : Alaaaa cyaal al suuq waaxid..
Roach (laughs and gets a little closer): well don’t blame me.. blame my heart who is so dearly in love with you.. (gazing at her lips he continues) say.. have I told you you have the most beautiful lips I have ever seen..
Deeqo blushes again and says..: well.. thanks.. I like your 6 pack too, but man you need to shave them arms..
Roach (leans towards her face and says): I will, but baby.. can I please kiss those tantalizing luscious lips..
As he spoke he saw the answer trembling joyously upon her face, giving him a suggestive look, Deeqo dully awaited his kiss.. (ofcourse his tiny ass had to climb his way up her thigh, chest and then nick to get to her lips) and when he was finally there.. this dacas holding hand came out from no where, knocks his ass off her shoulder and lands him on the ground... badly injured the little roach sobs in pain, Deeqo oblivious to what happened, looks to her back to see her brother throwing away the dacas that killed the love of her life.. She yells at him in teary eyes.. Why did you do that.. why did you kill my baby .. Excuse me ? replies her brother and walks his way out of the room.. deeqo hysterically starts to cry only to be interrupted by the moans of the dying Roach.. she rushes to him and in a breaking voice he says.. D. eee ..qo.. wh..aa..t haa.. pp.. en..d.., Its nothing seriouse baby you gon be OK.. just hang on... cries out Deeqo.. I don't think I can make it.. (in what seemed to be the infamous Titanic movie scene the roach counties) Baby.. I think I am going to die.. Please don’t forget me.. promise me you will always L…O….. V.. ..E.. M..EEEE
and goes to his final sleep..!! That was enough to break Deeqo apart,, So she picks up his dead body.. and yells..
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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The Moral of the story:
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Girls PLEASE dont smoke weed
looooooooooooooooooool
