I keep bumping into Neanderthal men these days. When did this proliferation occur? Is it OK to say, 'Oh, shut up and give me peace!' when they speak? I'm running out of patience on this one. Some men stare even when u dress modestly. Do they have extra-sensory powers or are they that desperate? Is it some kind of illusion that they see, like a man lost in a desert seeing a mirage? Some women stare however you dress. They do the up-and-down eye dance and when they've been down and up again and meet my eyes, I'm waiting with a pair of raised eyebrows. Ma dharegtey? I want to buy a desert island but I can't afford it. I want it all to myself. I want to know what it's like to stand on the shore of a beach, dressed in a t-shirt and shorts, hair blowing in the wind, no prying eyes to steal the moment. Everywhere I go, there are people. Won't they quit following me and get a life? I want to know why I'm spending so much time on SOL. Could it be because it's human interaction without the physical presence of others; that I can choose when to speak and when not to? Why do nostrils flare? Why can't I find an itch sometimes? Why must I be tortured into looking for it? When I hurt myself, someone always asks, 'Are u OK?' 'No', I say. U shouldn't lie about pain. Why do I feel compelled to be polite? I'm having the best Ramadan I've ever had. How do I keep it going and going? When will I die? And whe I do, will they look back and sigh in pleasure or forget me altogether?

Creation I love the night sky. All those stars, planets, galaxies, the Universe. I'm obsessed with infinity. Am I part of someone's dream and is that person part of another man's dream and on and on. I'm awake so I reject the notion. It doesn't go away. When I watch TV, I imagine being watched by someone who is being watched...I think of creation. All those millions of people and God is watching over all of them. Wow. All are being monitored. How does God do that! Amazing. I think of me, my family, Earth, the Milky Way, the Universe, God.... what then after God? Oh,oh, I've come to that place again. I know I shouldn't be here and can't confess it to anyone. I'll get admonished. But is it my fault that I think this? Hooyo, says think of something else. Perfect. There is no end to my imagination. I jump on a carpet and it whisks us off to the Pyramids. Prayer Once I've learned the words, the number of rakahs, the technique, there is no stopping me. I pray each Salat 4/5 times. There is much work to do- school work and chores but I can't stop praying. My parents try and intervene. Not so much. Do what is expected and don't change the rules. But I like praying! It takes me some time to let go of my innovation. Will God love me less now that I'm doing less? Would punishment follow soon? Quran I need help. How can I deal with my tribulations? I'm in my early teens. I seek the advice of an uncle. Adeer, you've said the Quran has powerful, hidden meanings and that u know some of them. I want you to tell me so I can use them. I won't. Please. It's not something to be taken lightly! I dabbled in it once and tried to use it for the wrong reasons and I'll never do it agian. What happened??? I won't tell u. Adeeeeer! Please tell me something. Ina macal cusri usra. What!! Even I know the Surah that comes from. I need help and he's telling me about a verse I already know, from a teeny-weeny Surah! What!! I know it, I say. What does it mean? With difficulty comes ease. That's it. Things will get better. Cusr, yusr, yusr, cusr they rhyme and yet they mean completely opposite things. I like it. I like it. I use it over and over. Death I fear that death will visit me in my sleep. Why do I hear adults wishing for death to come while they're asleep? I want to see it coming. I want to ask God to forgive me one last time. Please God, don't make it painful. I try to think of what would be the most painful way to go- drowning, perishing in a fire, suffocating. Oh, the possibilites are endless. I don't want to sleep. This could be it. My eyes close. Noo, I'm not ready..not tonight. I fall asleep but my subconcious has no peace and I jump out of sleep. Did I nearly die? I don't want to see Malakul Maut. No, please, don't make me see him. Will he take me to Hell? Eternity? That's like infinity. Infinity in Hell. Gulp. No. Not that, God. Hooyo, I couldn't sleep. I'm afraid of dying and going to hell. She sees my distress. Don't worry, you're still a child. If u die, u'll go to heaven. Oh thank God, thank God. But when u're older, the Angels on your right and your left will record all your movements. If your bad deeds outweigh your good, you will go to Hell. Allah, maya, I don't want to grow up!! Just Ask I look forward to Laylatul Qadr. The Angels descend. I want to meet them. Hooyo, will I see the Angels? She tells me the Angels have been known to take the form of man and to be good to strangers- u never know- it could be an Angel. Be kind to strangers. On the nights when it might be Laylatul Qadr, I lie awake, waiting for the Angels. Come out, come out wherever you are! Nothing. I peer through the darkness. I imagine seeing a shadowy figure. I feel no fear, there is nothing to fear from Angels. I recite the surah that talks about The night. Nothing happens, sleep is near. Angels, where are you? I'm... I'm falling asleep zzz... The morning after I search the house surreptitiously. I can't find what I'm looking for. Hooyo, u said I could have anything I prayed for. I can't find it! What did you ask for? Treasure! Treasure? You must ask for Jannah. OK. But is it bad to ask for treasure? No, but u must ask for forgiveness and paradise. Do u think the Angels will bring my Treasure next Laylatul Qadr? Keep asking, God listens to those who ask. Hope returns. I don't let go of my dream of treasure. I imagine myself waking up in the morning and finding a big treasure chest in the middle of the room. I kneel down before it and push back the heavy lid. Inside I find jewels of every description- diamonds, rubies, gold, sapphires. I dig elbow-deep into the tangled glittreng chains. I'm beaming. I don't know what I'll do with the jewels, I'm not even a girly girl but it's what I want and God gives. ---------------------- A thirteen year old girl has taken a liking to me. At the Taraweeh, she prays by my side. She doesn't say much but she makes sure she gets my attention and smiles. This girl is beautiful. I think this every time I see her and yet I forget to tell her. Two nights ago, she calls me pretty and puts both her hands to my face. I'm embarrassed that she has told me what I've been thinking of her and say, 'No, you are beautiful'. Last night she gave me chewing gum Another girl sitting by us says the thirteen year old girl and I look alike. I don't know but she's beautiful so hey, why not? She asked for my photograph. Eid, I promised. The girl has reminded me of the strength of my childhood faith- the innocence, the conviction and need to do right. This one's for her and my mother. Bless you both, gorgeous women. I pray that we hang out in Paradise, inshallah. Ameen.

Thank you Xoogsade! I did a search the other day on Google and couldn't find anything. Whoever asked if it's a full moon....yes, it is! We're half way through Ramadan, people. Am loving the show of support. Why have most assumed that Somalis would take something like this lightly and not have thought it through? Come on, that many people will not risk their livelihoods easily! Why don't we have more faith in our abilities as Somalis? Why must we hear all the gory details? 100 people brashly walking out in Ramadan, does that sound like the behaviour of a fasting people? And is it so hard to believe that they were well-informed and prepared for this eventuality? They don't need our support frankly. 100 people and their extended family will translate into hundreds of people who will support them because they are family if nothing else. Nothing else is what most of the rest of us will give. Support seems to be of the gung-ho whatever-has-the-word-Somali-in-it variety while those that don't support claim a desire to know more. Now, u know. Gung-ho types, has your support increased? Unsupportive types, what has changed? Are the people suffering to your satisfaction or do u still need more convincing? I'm saddened. Has Ramadan not softened your hearts? If they were Palestinians would you have reacted differently? Why can't we be kind to us, for God's sake? Nobody else is rushing to our aid and we're taking some analytical high ground or some emotional higher ground. Why can't we be compassionate without making judgements and seeking conviction? And why must we be emotional suckers in the name of nationalism? Where's the middle ground? **sigh** I wish them well. We don't stand up collectively as a people enough. Bravo! Allah macakum.

EAT 101: Cooking with Tofu ..too funny..

Deja vu.

Thank you for the reminder. I have a story to tell.. A few weeks ago, I came into contact with an Israeli woman who does not follow any organised religion but belives in the existence and the oneness of God. Within minutes of meeting her she bombarded me with every cliched question and negative impression of Islam that she had. I found her approach blunt and crude. What made her think a stranger(I) wanted to hear what she had to say about my faith. Still, I answered her questions and we parted. She came across as a non-believer. The next time we met, religion came up again but this time she was more relaxed and revealed that she was always thinking about faith(Islam, Christianity etc). She found the faiths controlling of man. When I asked her how we could live in a just world without the laws that 'control' us, she was stumped. This time she asked about Islam and didn't provide her opinions. I think her worry about control and rules stems from her knowledge of and exposure to Judaism, certainly she knew little of Islam aside from the usual imsconceptions. It was then that she revealed she believed in God. I feel no shame in admitting that I prayed about this woman and asked for guidance on how to deal with her. I did not want to place myself in a position where I might compromise my faith. So every time she came into my head, I asked God for guidance. By the end of the second encounter, we had both learned from one another. I left with the overwhelming feeling that this woman(who once did not believe in the existence of God) was now a true blue believer in His existence. She was happy to have 'found' Him and felt sure in the knowledge that he would guide her. She helped me remember Tawheed. As someone who was born into Islam, I will never know what it is to be convinced of the existence of God and embrace it greedily as an adult. It has always been that way- there is one God. The most important of principles repeated day after day but how often do I stop to say: there is a God and that brings me joy. And how often do I verbalise it to another human being? Secondly, she reminded me of charity. She has less than I do but gives more than I do. Reminder!! How grateful I am for that. I have stepped up my charitable gestures as a result. And so while I was worrying about how to protect myself from her she had two valuable reminders for me in time for Ramadan. I would like to think that when she's next asked about Islam, she may remember what I had to say and share it back in Israel or wherever she goes. Ramadan began and I told her about my routine the next time we met. She could not believe that it was possible to work and get through most of the day without water. I assured her millions were at it as we spoke as had millions before us. I mentioned the night prayers and how I love the atmosphere there. Casually, I suggested she stop by the Mosque one time. I gave her a time when she could catch the end of the Taraweeh. I thought no more of it but continued to pray about her as she has taken a liking to me and seeks my company. The next time she saw me, she needed my help. She was carrying out a charitable deed and needed my help. This was something I should be doing myself but am not! I agreed. I thought of all the times I have helped atheists at work or school. Here was someone who believed in God and gave in charity her time and money for Him- or so she says. She talks passionately about giving. I told her I'd help her out but that I'd be leaving for the nightly prayers at a certain time. That was when she asked if she could accompany me to the Mosque that night. You could have knocked me down with a feather. Of course, I said. She turned up at my doorstep later. The plan was to help her but we talked and I cooked in readiness for Iftar. She ate with me and was surprised and at how undemanding the Maghrib prayer was. That was quick, she said. We left for the Mosque after she told me about her project. I had not prompted her in any way but she came prepared. She pulled a skirt over her trousers and covered her head with a scarf. Inside, she sat at the back to avoid disrupting us. I prayed 2 rakahs looked back and My God, I hadn't dreamed it, she was actually there. I smiled internally. She asked a couple of questions. I said she could leave when she felt comfortable. 10 minutes later I looked back and she had gone. I see her every few days. We don't talk about faith, at least she doesn't. For me it's a different story, all day I do things that my faith asks of me and when I mention them she asks for clarification. I am thankful to her as she has reminded me of Tawheed and Sadaqah. And to be passionate about what I believe in whomever I speak with. Sorry for the length of the tale. It still continues and I still pray.

LOL. Il Capo, that's better! Feel good-factor returns!

Google it, man.

There goes the feel-good factor.

except u're now Raami the moonwalking girl?

Welcome. Good move, buttering us up. It'll come in useful for about a week. Enjoy.

I have created a monster. LOZ, in the extreme cases of FGM(15% of African ones) the FGM is tantamount to chopping off. I don't see many gasps from blokes when it comes to that. That was my point. Most guys pays lip service to the cruelty of this crime but do they know what it's really like? We rarely mention the physical and psychological consequences but go on and on about how wrong it is. Grim detail, that's what we need to shake us out of our monotonous responses. Topics go off course all the time. Is it acceptable as long as we're being facetious? OK, here goes.. What I'm curious about is this business of moon-walking through posts. Evil. What drives a man to this?

Sis, just follow the Prophet's(pbuh) way. Seek to mimick his behaviour and actions and stick by them regardless of what those around u think. Every once in a while, I read the Hadiths and I always find something I can incorporate into my daily life. We are forgetful by nature. Keep doing what the Prophet(saw) advised us to and you will be rewarded. Don't just focus on receiving a dream. This morning at 4am the alarm interrupted a pleasant dream. I pulled myself out of a dream where I was talking about the diin(not that I'm an expert). I was aware that I was speaking to a group of people, sitting cross-legged but the last visual image I had was of a page of the Quran. It filled my vision entirely. More than two-thirds of the way down the page, a new Surah began but I didn't catch what it was. My voice was loud and clear and I'm surprised it didn't wake me. I was talking about something that was making me happy. Ramadan always does this for me.

It was me who 'twisted' it. I was making a personal comment. I don't believe in making FGM a male/female issue but was pointing out the lack of empathy men generally have. If everybody else jumped on the band-wagon, that's their business. There can never be enough said about FGM in my opinion. Someone may have benefited from reading some of what I've posted. If the post had been about the young boys, how much could have been said about their tragedy? Not much and nothing beneficial would have come of it. Agreeing that it is a heinous crime does nothing to eradicate it. Which one of us is actually doing something about FGM? You may return to discussing the boys if u so wish.

Stoic, I saw that documentary too. The face of that little Somali girl sticks in my mind. Here she is: http://www.wmm.com/Catalog/pages/c604.htm The documentary is titled after her poem, 'The Day I Will Never Forget'. Fouzia, I wish I could find her poem. A true Somali poet. Worth seeing if you haven't. We're all culpable. A society needs to weed this out as a unit. Some basic info: http://www.stopfgm.org/stopfgm/fgm/why.jsp?idMenu=1,0& Association for Integration and Development c/o Posta Salaama Dubai P.o Box 52063 Bosaso - Somalia Tel: +252 523 4884 Fax: +252 523 4418 E-mail:jamilasaid@hotmail.com Project co-ordinator: Jamila said Musse Anyone know anything about the above organisation?

I made the effort to read the Somali. I'm not sure she'll hear u whatever language u plead in. Thanks for the read.

Thanks.

WOW! Finally somebody else! So u know what I'm talking about- that knowledge and the delight. Your second dream sounds marvellous. How did u let him go? Thanks for the interpretation. I know I won't cause u offence if I still maintain- Allahu Yaclam. This was 2 Ramadans ago by the way. Another reason it seems so delightful is that the Prophet(saw) was listening intently to my sister's words in my dream and she herself had dreamed of him years ago. Thank you for the advice. I'm the annoying one(to some) who's always saying, the Prophet(saw) said, the Prophet(saw) did when I see a Muslim who could easily follow his advice and is either forgetful or neglectful. BTW, I tend to have meaningful dreams during Ramadan. Do you?

I need the reminder too. This helps.

Africa and the Middle East mostly but it happens in other parts of the world too. 15% of the procedures in Africa are infibulations(pharaonic)- the most extreme kind. The women on whom this is carried out suffer the most; these are the women whose trauma the piece refers to.

Jacaylbaro, what has happened to these boys is a one-off. Do u see millions of men being mutilated? Nope. The men have nothing to worry about on that score. And that comment on women being able to procreate after mutilation, well, that's what I think has allowed this to carry on and on. As long as she can give birth, the beautiful cycle of life can go on. It is this process of birthing that causes anguish over and over again for the women long after the initial butchery. The mutilated boys will not have to deal with that. Sure there will be trauma, psychological and physiolgical but they're not part of a culture that doesn't discourage it and they're not going to have to go through this over and over... ..copied and pasted.. In order for the consummation of the marriage and childbirth to take place a second operation is necessary. "De-fibulation" is the enlarging of the tiny opening and is usually performed at home by the husband or midwife. The stretching of the small opening is very painful and may take weeks or even months. Immediate complications following the procedure may include hemorrhaging and infection due to unsanitary conditions. Hemorrhaging, or heavy bleeding, may occur immediately or up to six days later. Significant loss of blood can be the cause of acute shock and death. Infections that set in around the area are common, and the wound may abscess. Septicemia, tetanus, and urinary tract infections are all common results from the unsterile objects and unhygenic salves used on the wound. Complications that develop over time are a result of an opening too small to allow for urine and menstrual fluid to adequately flow through. It takes an infibulated woman 10-15 minutes to urinate. Menstruation lasts for 10 or more days and can seriously incapacitate women. The build up of urine and blood often result in infection. Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) can develop from infection, and infertility can result. The pain and trauma of FGM continues into pregnancy and childbirth. Maternal mortality is highest in countries that practice FGM. It is common for women to eat very little during pregnancy in hopes of having a small baby so that childbirth will be less painful. The natural birth process is made very difficult by the obstructed vaginal opening. Dilation that would naturally occur does not if a woman has been infibulated. Usually, several episotomies, or small cuts, are necessary to deliver the baby. After childbirth, the wound is resuchered and if not done correctly scar tissue and ulcers may form. After delivery, the woman is once again infibulated and left with an opening the size of a pinhole.

Yes, I can, it happens to our women all the time. If this shocks you men, then u really haven't appreciated the brutality of FGM. Does it hit home because it's a penis that has been hacked off? I feel for the boys. God help them.

So you have made it through the first third of Ramadan and have been making a decent effort. You've developed a routine, u're easing into the fast and getting comfortable. You have your eyes set on the last third of Ramadan and are looking forward to Laylatul Qadr whichever one of those last nights it may fall on.... But wait! What about this one-third of Ramadan? The period where u are most likely to get lazy and go through the prayers and fast mechanically. There can be hidden danger in comfort and routine. Re-evaluate. Are you achieving all those goals u set yrself? Are u reading the Quran as often as u'd planned? Are you making it to the Tarawih? Are you drifting through the days or fasting and worshipping consciously? Don't waste these days in the middle. After the intial burst of enthusiasm, don't slack in the middle. Every day is precious. Make use of the opportunity to be forgiven for your sins today. And do the same tomorrow, if it should dawn, inshallah. Ramadan Kareem

Khal' l rabsha and post the link. Or is it so secret that you dreamed it up in your free time? Syria has a lot to offer. Go see the sights and report back to us on something real. Easy on the sheesha.

Wixii xunba Xaawaa leh quite literally, eh, Rudy? It is u who have forgotten or confused Islam's version of Adam and Eve's expulsion from heaven with the Biblical one. Islam does not place the blame on Eve so please read about it for yrself- the Internet is at your fingertips.