^ don't forget Psyche! She needs a great big hug. Allah help u ladies with whatever is troubling you.

Lol u two. It happened in the early hours of Sunday or very late Saturday night - however it makes sense to you. I'll take a longer day over an hour's sleep any day. Bring on Spring.

Am not an expert but if I start listening to Jazz I can't stop. Nearly got myself fired once. I was listening to some Jazz at work- via the Internet- something that was allowed where I worked but the boss had come up to me with a task and I was in another world entirely. How long he stood there calling my name I don't know... Love Nina Simone's Feeling Good. My Anthem. Check out this Tunisian piano player. Listen to Voyage. Wajdi Cherif

^ truth is stranger than fiction. Farah we're not painting anything; merely critiquing the artist's creation.

Lol. The Wadaad's actions are relevant. How is he carrying out his research? How is it that women are sending him their revealing pictures? He must have entered into some kind of a dialogue with them. And then he shares their messages with a man he picks from the Mosque right after a moving speech! He and the poster seem to share the moral indignation but no mention of the poster's indignation at the Wadaad's indiscretion. Packed with irony. What happened next?

He's worried about moral degeneration and he showed you his private messages. A story with irony and a moral(though not one the poster intended perhaps) to it.

This is going nowhere sis. I can't say any more than I have.

Amethyst, sis, when I write I make sure I say what I mean to say. When I have spoken of my particular circumstances I have been clear about it. When I have spoken of the possibility of the man mentioned by the poster being vulnerable I have said, 'Maybe'. A lot of the advice I received- mostly unsolicited- was harsh and extreme. People panicked on my behalf; they wanted me to get rid of him asap and use whatever means. I wanted to be rid of him too but with whatever means necessary; to find a solution appropriate to the problem. Self-preservation is instinctual. None of us need to tell the lady how to take extra care. As women we are a lot more safety conscious as it is. She knows how to stay safe, safer, if need be. So how else can we help? As it stands, I don't really see a problem yet. If a problem arises.. A stalker is not a stalker. Nothing in life is so black and white. It is easy to be harsh to someone that has been depersonalised. Each individual, each situation is unique. Know thy enemy(if u see him as such). If he's Somali, then she can use it to her advantage. Someone always knows someone and she'll know just who she's dealing with- a ruthless man; a bumbling young man or a vulnerable person. She can take it from there. If he's a Muslim then she has added responsibility for his welfare and how she deals with him should he become a problem. That is inescapable. I'm not making the stalker a victim, I'm saying personalise the guy and deal with him appropriately. You can not deal with a man that is vulnerable and one that is not in the same way. If you want to be part of a just and fair community you have to take into consideration the circumstances of the individual who does you wrong and act accordingly. I talk about my own experience as an example. I don't remember many people reminding me to be just or appropriate in my approach. Most just wanted me to be safe and to attain that state in any way possible. I found that unacceptable and unworkable with my principles. I was not going to start throwing punches when a nudge could have done the trick. I was frustrated, sure but it didn't mean I had the right to talk to him or about him derogatively. It is possible to be kind, measured and compassionate and get the right results. Allah expects us to behave in this manner- to be kind to the unkind, giving to the ungiving, fair to the unfair. You can not abandon your principles when u feel threatened or done wrong. What would that make you? Narrated 'Aisha (r.a.): "Allah's Messenger said, "Be calm, O 'Aisha! Allah loves that, one should be kind and lenient in all matters." Surah 41: 34. Nor can goodness and Evil be equal. Repel (Evil) with what is better: Then will he between whom and thee was hatred become as it were thy friend and intimate! 35. And no one will be granted such goodness except those who exercise patience and self-restraint,- none but persons of the greatest good fortune.

Just because a man's seen to be stripping away his dignity, it doesn't give the rest of us a right to join in. Quite the opposite. Empathy- what's wrong with that? Think about it for a second. What self-respecting man in full control of his behaviour/personality would relentlessly chase after a woman while blind and deaf to her rejection? Something can't be right! Maybe he's aware of how he's coming across but can't help but behave in this way. I wouldn't want to be in his shoes; not for a milli-second. Nor would I want to send a possibly vulnerable man over the edge with unnecessary actions. That's just me. When something bothers me I ask myself who else it's about. When I had to face that situation I knew that I'd rather be me annoyed, irritated and embarrassed by excessive attention than be him desperate and chasing the illusion that was me. My main worry was that I would lose it and say awful things if pushed- there goes the compassion- so I prayed to God and asked Him not to put the guy in my path as I left home every day. I didn't want to be harsh to him even though he was making life a little difficult for me. That's just me. Anyway God answered my prayers; I only ever saw him twice very briefly thereafter; other than that I would arrive somewhere only to be told that he'd been there looking for me but never actually bumping into him. More than anything I want Allah's mercy and I won't get it by being unkind to others. God loves gentleness and wants us to show forbearance and forgiveness especially in times of difficulty. For every problem an appropriate solution must be found. Losing yr head and lashing out just to get yrself out of a situation with no regards to the other party may lead to wrong doing on yr part.

Police!! OTT. He hasn't done anything to warrant going to them yet. Yes, it is annoying and creepy and perhaps scary but law enforcement types and young black men come into contact way too often as it is. I'd suggest the lady takes care, informs the people she spends most of her time with and keeps it in perspective. Just because he's obsessed doesn't mean he's going to harm the object of his affection/obsession. In all likelihood nothing could be further from his mind at this stage. Try and get rid of him without antagonising him, sis. I had to deal with it for months from somebody I'd never even met for a coffee. Two moments stand out: the day he appeared at my door and the day he started praying at my mosque. My two places of refuge. I thought I'd never get rid of him but I did. What I would strongly adivse is that you don't degrade him in any way. If he's excessive and intrusive in his actions he may be lacking a certain something- social skill, full mental capacity whatever it doesn't matter. If he were my brother I wouldn't want some woman stripping him of his dignity. If he continues to be a problem deal with him emphatically but compassionately, and Allah will help you out of it, inshallah. To those who doubt the poster, I'd say nothing any of us ever write on here can be 'proved' as having happened to us. She's talking about one guy not bashing all men. Easy.

I have sympathy- bucket-loads. Sis, he was too into you way before the coffee episode. You meeting him gave him hope. If he turns up where you are 'accidently' ignore him completely. And if he addresses you directly tell him u don't want to speak with him. It's hard but u have to be tough. BTW, as a matter of respect have u actually told him that you're not interested? That should come first. Oh and such people exist and some of them are not so healthy in the mind. Do the absolute minimum to put him off- no name calling etc- and pray that he goes away. And stays away.

Originally posted by Green: Sheherezade.! quote:Let's stay positive, please. I have good news. I made a decent amount of money today- aside from the boring day job- and I didn't even do anything! Delegation, gotta love it. I'll give some of it incharity, inshallah. I'm encouraged. No enthusiasm for anything us Somalis!! Anybody else have anything positive to add to Bashi's post? ^Yes. I do Have Something Positive to say. The concept of 'beating one's own drum'[in regards to making decent amounts of money], is not something that is quite fitting in this topic. Phanta. I dont need Diamente's attention. :eek: LOL. And the green-eyed monster rears its predictable head. Sweetie, listen carefully. If u can't handle hearing someone else doing well it's because u're not working to your full potential. So save your energy for some self-improvement. The money I've made isn't huge and it isn't small, alhamdullilah. I made it by being smart and taking advantage of assistance offered to me. Mentioning my little success is not beating my drum- it is a fact- and sharing it may encourage someone to get off their Somali backside and do something creative that may lead to financial independence while providing a service to society. All my skills are a gift from Allah and I'm doing something with them. P.S: I made some more money while you were adding nothing to this post. What a Somali attribute it is to shoot down those that speak of doing well. Is it a wonder we hardly have role models?

Now u're bored.

They give high credits to those that will not keep up with the payments. Let's stay positive, please. I have good news. I made a decent amount of money today- aside from the boring day job- and I didn't even do anything! Delegation, gotta love it. I'll give some of it in charity, inshallah. I'm encouraged. No enthusiasm for anything us Somalis!! Anybody else have anything positive to add to Bashi's post?

Thank you for the reminder. From now on, I'm not only working hard but working smart. I've realised that some of what I do out of interest can be turned into a money-making venture. Some of the things I have done in the past which I once used to classify as a waste of time are now paying dividends. I'm putting together every skill that I have and am determined to pull it off, God willing. onwards... there are no shortcuts

LoL D. Taking care of biZniZ, hehe.

Talk about looking a gift-camel in the mouth. Dacas in the winter! I'm sure it doesn't look out of place in Southall. Is that where you reside?

Shukran, sis.

Welcome ex-Alien. Now that you won't be needing it anymore, can I swap my camel for your space craft? I have somewhat gotten used to his foaming at the mouth but this new-found insubordination of his is too much, I tell you. Here take him. Be firm and kind. sniff Oh, he answers to, 'Oi, Camel, off your **** . Now!!'

I see the Somali dining experience is international.

Men find her attractive.They walk by her and stare; walk past her and look back. Sometimes they stop altogether and stare. She knows she's beautiful. All that attention must tell her she is. Men must tell her so. Women too. But what does each of us see? Would we pick out the same physical characteristics? I know what I think is physically beautiful about her. The features of her face have been set exquisitely. There's no point singling out her eyes or her chin. Each is beautiful in isolation but breathtaking as a whole. She has the posture of a dancer and glides around gracefully. She isn't girly by any means; a strength emanates from her. She has an eye for the comedic. I think I love her(and love her I do) mostly for her strength, her thoughtfulness and her acute observational capability. She sees what I miss. We're in a cafe together one day and she's by the counter. I'm facing the window and see a group of men pass by. They stop and look into the cafe. I look behind me and she's not standing where she was. Something catches my attention and I look down to see it's her flapping her hands and putting her finger to her mouth, crouching behind the counter. She's hiding from the men. Her face looks strained. I turn back to find the men grinning and walking away. I signal for her to come out. She does so unfurling her body slowly. She makes a face. To signify her disgust she lets a shiver run through her from head to toe. I grin. It must be wearing to be so beautiful. It has to be a test for her. The humour helps her cope I assume. She only has to swing those feline eyes my way after witnessing something and I will descend into laughter. You see I'm thinking what she is. They call it 'clicking'. You meet someone and it's like you've been friends always. I don't know why it's called clicking. It's a more subtle sound, like the hush of a gentle wave. Anyway, we hushed and developed our own world of running jokes and slapstick. She'd sneak up on me and I'd pretend I hadn't seen her and go through the, 'Who is it? Who is it?' silliness. She'd then reveal herself rather dramatically and slap me hard on the behind. For all her grace she slaps like a sailor. Sometimes she makes me laugh so hard I cry. Think Charlie Chaplin and Audrey Hepburn rolled into one. Days after Eid ul-Fitr and I'm sick and undeniably ugly. My neighbour fusses over me and feeds me soup, soup and ocassionally if I'm lucky, more soup. My Jewish neighbour comes to visit me. To check for my temperature she puts her lips to my forehead. The fever was starting to rise again. She asks if I'd like to eat takeaway food and chocolate. Chocolate. Does she need to ask? She leaves me and fever returns to hold me in her hot, unwelcome arms. A while later(time had little meaning) I hear, 'Look what I brought!'. I look up(I'm lying on the living room floor) to see several pairs of feet walk in. I recognise all those feet! One pair belongs to the beautiful lady. The women sit around me on the floor in a U-shape. 'Where did u find them?', I whimper. She'd brought some of my other neighbours along. All were laiden with fruit and drink and tut-tuts. Look at you. What's happening to you? I can't really talk much. Their words float around me..cold, hot, paracetamol, no bathing, soup, rice, rest, soup, doctor, soup, rice. Someone picks up one of feet and starts massaging; another reaches for the other foot. Pretty soon, I have many pairs of hands on my feet, calves, hands, arms. Thoughts of death had preoccupied me for days and now the touches reassure me. But I know nothing will compare to the sound of my mother walking in and saying, 'Sheh, ma nooshahey?'. A new determination to get well fills me. I have to see hooyo again. My back hurts so much from all the lying down it feels as though my spine is about to shatter. I turn and lie on my right. From behind me on cue the beautiful one, gets closer to me and places her hands on my lower back. She works her hands firmly and gently over my tense muscles. The sensation is exquisite and exactly what I need. Only she could have sensed my back was sore. While the others talked and talked around me she saw with her eyes what the others didn't. Unable to hear what they spoke(she's deaf) or join in(she's dumb) she used her eyes and then her hands to talk with me. I reached behind me for her arm, touched her and left my hand there. .......... I wanted to get that Ramadan feeling again and received a little inspiration from a certain someone to write. If u made a promise to be a little more beautiful in your deen last Ramadan, don't forget to keep that promise. It can only lead us to a more beautiful place, inshallah.

Thanks Rokko but look.. Bandwidth Limit Exceeded The server is temporarily unable to service your request due to the site owner reaching his/her bandwidth limit. Please try again later. ..the site's down. That popular! I'll check it out later cause I have to watch that again.

^that's about as long as Barcelona will have to wait before they get as far as they did yesterday. If they get that far.. ha,ha,ha...get over that one. sorry continue... ..am catching the football fever again. Ehem, apologies Rokko. Let me make it better. Those poser shots that someone posted here are nothing compared to watching Mr R dance with the ball last night and score that goal. Class. Pure class.

quote when everyone that shows interest in her is either pscho or she is not interested She should lower her standards LooL. How low though?

Errm, can't say I missed you but it's sweet that u get to name yr little sis. Call her after me.