Firstly i dont bat for the same team.. and secondly i'm 100% woman.. cheers for the advice...i'll be sure to take it on board..

to all the disbelievers me and the topic starter are not the same person... topic starter i haven't left islam….i’m re-educating myself about the religion and i need to do a lot of research before i can make any conclusion... i reckon you should PM Nur cause he has a vast knowledge of the religion and can guide you back if you're still inclined that way... luck with everything...

lol.... will do...

lol at thearpy..that bad huh? i never looked at it that way...

Hayam i don't mind discussing personal stuff on here as no one knows who i really am. I like that you can remain anonymous and seek advice from an array of people. I just want to get an insight on the problem and hopefully nip it in the butt. And no I haven’t be fiddled with. Thank god. Farancab my somali is limited so can you please translate it to english? Thanks bud chubaka you may be right darls rudiya of course after Ramadan

Never!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!

my comp is very slow.. wats the gist of the video?

I think my fear of men is preventing me from finding a spouse. I know to some that might sound ludicrous but to me it's ruining my life. My debilitating fear is crippling me in the romance department. If a guy shows an interest i immediately withdraw from his company .Everyone thinks i'm being secretive about my relationships but how do i tell them that none exist? How do you tell your friends that you're afraid to be in a relationship with a man? I've had plenty or a decent number of guys who've shown interest in me but once they do i become flustered and put off. If i like a guy i become very hostile and snobbish around him even though my heart is singing a different tune. I think I’ve taken "play hard to get" to a dangerous and unhealthy level. do any of you ladies feel the same way? And how do I go about freeing myself from these shackles?

i appreciate all your replies... I need to do a lot of soul searching and read more on the religion before i make a final decision either way... Thank you so much for your help sol members... *ramadan kareem*

it has...thanks for the replies... here i thought i was satan incarnate..

i grew up in a muslim household, went to a muslim school and have only had muslim friends. i was wat u would call a somali-muslim instead of a Muslim. i followed the somali version of islam if you get my drift. No one in my family fasts or prays or does anything remotely islamic. however they dont question the religion but don't adhere to its rules. the women in my family cover up but that is the extent of their islamic-like adherence. I began asking questions when i decided to truly follow the religion. so wen i began looking into islam i immediately regretted having begun the search. everything seemed so alien and unjust to me and the answers seemed convenient and insincere. i believe in god but not in the islamic sense. i believe god belongs to everyone and shouldn't be exclusively ours. i dont think satan exists. i believe he is a concoction of man to prevent people from asking questions. i can't get my mind around an afterlife that promises safety to one group and misery to another. it does not make sense to be put on earth to pass a test that you never really stood a chance of passing only to be punished for slight misdemeanors. And I’m sick to death of people closing discussions with god knows best because that is not a good enough answer. How do we know the prophet said these things? Is it not possible people could have fiddled with the quran? Is it not possible that the witnesses could have misheard or misinterpreted what the prophet said? Why can’t we apply the quran to today’s standards? Why would god prevent us from evolving? Does he want us to follow rulings that were created for a different era and apply it to our current situation?

wasn't satan created to keep people in check? if we blame statan for our misdeeds/sins are we just not relieving ourselves of responsibility? why would god create fallible beings and make it even that much harder by putting satan in the mix?

if god is merciful then why would he send his non-muslim creations to hell? why are so many people doomed to hell for little infringements? why are there so many guidelines and procedures to following islam? these are the pg-rated questions the rest i don't think should be mentioned. i do not want to insult a religion people hold dear to.

This is a serious question that needs serious answers. Everything i use to believe in no longer rings true and it scares me that i feel this way. I don't want to be damned to an eternity in hell but wat do u do if you're no longer convinced? I believe there is god but then there are days when i'm weary about his exsistence... I can't talk to my family about it cause they would disown me and i know my friends would isolate me. I have no one to turn to. Should i seek the advice of a sheik? and how do i go about finding one who can i trust? if i don't find the answers i need i fear that i may hurt myself.

The odd thing is when i didn't cover up i wasn't as judgemental. Now that i do i'm more so. I'm not religious.I'm re-learning my deen. Thankfully I come from an open- minded family and they've never forced a particular dress code on me. So i'm not concerned about my repuation. However i do feel sorry for those girl who come from a stricter upbringing. If i was in their siutation I don't think I would take the chance of ruining my reputation.If your repuation is all you've got then why risk destroying it? I don't care what they wear but i do worry for their future.