Lol, I see... Not my fault, I've not seen any that are interested, but I don't have have a problem if they do so. Plus, I wouldn't want a wife that has a political career.

Lily what expectation? I didn't demand much.. BTW.. my previous username was Dalmar Ahmed...

I don't think I would require this list except ATTRACTIVENESS. 1. Politically Liberal: I don't think somali girls care much about politics anyways. 2. Good income: the babies she gives me is what I consider a good income? I can go to work.. 3. Attractive: Everybody is attractive to someone 4. Highly Educated: Optional, but prefarably religion wise.. 5. Islamically liberated: There's only one religion. We are divided by westerners to be ruled, I see it's already in effect. Radical Islamists,Extremist, Moderate, Jihadists.. This is just total BS... We are all one lovely people....

Farah-Brawn, so tell me how you make decisions? It seems you're following the old school manhood thing, where you act all taugh just to fit in, when in reality you're the weakest link. It's not like deciding whether u should go out for the night or not. But I guess you and others including Qabli-adeyg are just not in the right time to give a legitimate opinions. Not sure if it's due to your lack of experience or else. To the rest of brothers and sisters,I appreciate your substantive responses and for sharing your stories as they are relavant to the matter. Qalbi-Adeyg-- What does engineering get to do with relationships? May be I'll need you when I'm ready to build a house in Somalia. lol...

lol... AfricaOwn, there's nothing wrong with being nice. Real and strong men are nice just like our prophet SCW. you're right it's common sense that nobody should dictate ones' action, but you also have to understand what it takes to have a partner in life and the sacrifices that both stakeholders should make. To Qalbi-Adeyg- I see you're a SOL hardcore, but I'm afraid it's not necassiry in here. Yes I seek opinion in SOL forum, but it's nothing more than gathering data, which I find it very useful ofcourse. However, you offended the contributors of the forum as if they're uselesses to give feedbacks. And if you call enjoying is about being single and playing around, then I suspect we use different dictionaries. I matured earlier I guess.

It depends, but yes couples can work it out. I'd hate to experience that but one thing we shouldn't forget is that you're dealing with human being that (RSA) said all of you are wrong-doers, and your best is one who repents. Though I don't cheat, I understand when guys cheat just because they want to mess with other, eventhough that's not an excuse, but it's weird if the girl does that. I sound sexist, but just my opinion.

Thanks for your input Justice, Some of the tools we pple use in making decisions is to see things from different angles and I guess ur first-hand experience tells me alot and perhaps helps me justify my very biased thoughts towards the matter. I thought the same way you did, but I wasn't sure if my decision was based in love or logic. lol, Nephisa thanks adna....

Thanks pple, I think you're right justice, I will just wait and give her to get over with her overanalyzing. The only one thing I want to be away from is being logical or to thinking critically. That just doesn't work for women. Im a good communicator, but I just think women have a built-in emotions driven mentality where you can seldom convince them unless they want to. Qalbi-Adeyg "work on ur life and career and not trap my self with marriage"???? Dont u know that we need to balance things out. I just feel it's a waste of time waking up in the morning to go to fulltime job and not having a beautiful doughter and wife in the house when you come back. Hope u got my drift...... BTW i'm not old, i just turned 25. oh shoot that's old. lol

You guys just didn't get it. I don't need religious advice as I my self am a religious, and she's even better than me in that case. We don't live the same city, so what haram you're talking about? Is it wrong to have conversation with someone over the phone? coming back to to the issue, We were planning to get married this year, but all of a sudden she's not sure whether she does want, so basically we are not offically in a relationship now. Our status is "complicated". As she told me, she's afraid that things may not work out after marriage and therefore does not want to take a risk as she's still young and in college. At the same time she does not want to let me go because she loves me. The big dilemma I'm facing is that I'm not in a rush, but how can someone tell me they love me at the same time not sure to be with me to avoid risk of personality clush? Please if you don't understand where I'm coming from, you don't have to reply, I can go to the Masjid if I want religious advice. This is a social issue, not religion.

My worries is that I don't want to give up on her assuming that she's young girl who loves me and I should be the man to better our relationship since Im sure she does love me. But on the other hand, I dont to victimize my self being unrealistic and desperate, so that she'll even run from me. Therefore I should just move on with my life and get her out of my mind.

I dated a girl for longest time (4yrs) we started talking on the phone with no intentions of relationship, but it started out to be interesting that we both decided to have a relationship though it was long distance basis. We connected and started emailing, calling, visiting and seeing each other more often as time passed. I was freshman college and she was in her mid highschool years, so we never talked about future though we were both happy to have such an honest relationship. Time passed and we started talking about future and one of us to move following graduation. Sometime in the past, we have had an issue of the limitation of my association with girls. It was not that I was cheating or anything, but most girls dont like their man having anything ANYTHING to do with other women, I just knew girls in my school and one way or the other we socialize with people whether it's school related or else. She hated that and told me she would drop anybody in a blink of eye have I felt bothered in those kind of situation. Though I resisted for time, I decided to discontinue socializing with women and avoid anyway I can just to respect my love. Now all of a sudden, she felt too comfortable and got a room to worry about other stuff like whether we have major differences, or if there will be a whole new ME when we move together(Personality differences) so I was with her and she confronts me with this out of the blue "Im confused, Im not sure if Im ready, I don't want to waste ur time, u hurt me many times with girls," .... I was so shocked because I never forced marriage, I just had the same respect she had for me and love. We both happily and openly talked about marriage soon since Im done with college. So I was thinking what's this whole thing, we did not even talk about postponing marriage or analyzing our differences. How can one jump to conclusion without identifying problem and seek for possible alternatives. So I did not try to be logic given that women mostly decide based on emotions, which is the only tool she was using. I just agreed with her for the time being and showed my self other targets in my life just to overcome the pain, but since that incident we have been talking randomly and she tells me there's still hope and she's more confused the fact that I've other women in my mind alternatively. To make the story short here is some facts or opinions I have from her that may help you feedback. She does love me She calls or text me to share about our relationship. She's young and going through a big transition of her life. She got bunch of new girlfriends She never cheats on me. Her family knows about me.