How remarkable of you.

I beg your pardon? Care to elaborate as to how you’ve managed to insert feminism on that sentence?

Delegation to check on Nigerian president's health President Umaru Yar'Adua had not been seen or heard from since he left the country suddenly 50 days ago for treatment for heart trouble in a Jeddah hospital. His absence and failure officially to hand power to his deputy has created a power vacuum in Africa's most populous country, and has bred rumours that he was "brain-dead". But during a brief telephone call with the BBC on Tuesday, the president, sounding weak, claimed to be "getting better" and promised to be back to work soon. Despite this, the House of Representatives in the capital, Abuja, voted to send a delegation to Saudi Arabia to "convey a message of goodwill" and discuss issues of national importance. Earlier on Tuesday, several hundred protesters demanding proof that the president was alive marched to the National Assembly buildings in Abuja. Waving placards reading "President Yar'Adua: Talk to us" and "Umaru, where are you", they chanted, "The government is lying [when it says] he spoke to the BBC". "We cannot believe that he is OK until we see him with our own eyes," said Adegoke Ogunjobi, 30, a stockbroker from Abuja. "There are too many people ready to play with us for their own profit. Why can the president not just hand power to the [vice president] so he can concentrate on recovering quickly without the stress of affairs of state?" The protest march was led by Wole Soyinka, Nigeria's Nobel Literature Prize winner, who said: "The nation is being held to ransom by people with bad intent. We deserve to know the truth at all times. "There are those whom this particular situation profits and who will continue to prolong it as much as they possibly can." http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/africaandindianocean/nigeria/6972681/Nigerian-president-br eaks-silence-from-hospital-bed.html

Umaru Yar’adua, the president of Nigeria, has been in a hospital in Saudi Arabia for a heart condition since November 2009—and he forgot to tell anyone. For six whole weeks. No phone, email, wave from the balcony, or blog. Not even a simple tweet, which is downright rude. 150m plus Nigerians, united only through football and skin colour, did not have a leader to tuck them into bed and tell them this it’s all going to be okay. Previous to now, I didn’t know much about him—Nigerian politicians are about as interchangeable as Blair and Cameron. I didn’t even vote—I’m in Britain, and Nigeria didn’t ask for my opinion on the guy. I guess that’s why, when I found out, my response was “huh.” Not “huh?” mind, but “huh.” Like it’d started off as a serious question but felt a little man-flu-ey and went back to bed. More like “meh.” I asked my brother what he thought. His first response was “What?” but then his eyes and thoughts went back to his computer screen and Modern Warfare 2. Better than “huh,” but still nowhere near the level of emotion this momentous event deserved. We’ve lost a president for god’s sake! He’s locked himself in his room and won’t answer the door! My brother and I have had longer, more satisfying discussions about computer games. “What” is only “meh” with more wind. I told my mother. “WHAT?!” Finally! A real life, old school, normal Nigerian response fit for the occasion. She turned on CNN. CNN was busy with Obama. Then she checked Sky News, which said something about snow. Hell, even NTA (Nigerian Television Authority), the one channel that could be milking this story for all it’s worth…and nada. She didn’t believe it. I pointed her to the internet. The internet told her that this time I wasn’t lying. Then she spat out a mothball of conspiracy theories, blaming everyone except the Pope. It was two minutes long, then she stomped into the kitchen, not to be seen until dinner. All roads point to “meh.” Online, my Nigerian friends posted comments. Summary: “Oh. Meh.” The Guardian online said he’d disappeared. Pooey. He was in a Saudi Arabian hospital. It’s sort of like when Fidel Castro was ill, except Fidel Castro went to a hospital in the country he’d been investing in since he took power. Cuba has a very good health system. Hospitals in Nigeria still have power shortages. Apparently Yar’adua’s signature on a recent budget may have been forged by his supporters/flunkies. Apparently he spoke to BBC “via phone.” I can’t speak for all 150m Nigerians, but for myself? This is Nigeria. I’ve seen this buggery before, and I know more buggery comes after it. Whatever, meh. http://www.prospectmagazine.co.uk/2010/01/dude-wheres-my-president/

Psychopath, conman, liar, fantasist, fraudster, bully, tax evader, megalomaniac – it's fair to say L Ron Hubbard's death was a blow to global humanitarianism. Happily, there is a silver lining to the cloud that has hung over Earth since the founder of Scientology shed his corporeal form in 1986. That silver- lining is the high profile, expansionist figures who represent his organisation today – and the good news is that they're turning their thoughts to Haiti. Were an ***** like you to itemise the myriad things that this most wretched of disaster zones currently lacked, chances are you'd omit "militant Scientologists who claim post-traumatic stress is a conspiracy created by the evil psychiatric profession, and who believe the correct response to extreme shock is to touch sufferers with one finger, before attempting to convert them to the ways of Hubbard". All I can say is, thank God for John Travolta. The Wild Hogs legend has unveiled his response to the unfolding crisis, announcing: "I have arranged for a plane to take down some Volunteer Ministers and some supplies and some medics." For the medics and supplies John must obviously be thanked, but for the Volunteer Ministers – arriving in Haiti via Air Travolta along with scores from other Scientology churches – the same cannot be said. According to an official press release, the corps will be on hand to dispense "spiritual first aid" to Haitians. Because really, nothing should feel more appropriate right now than gadding about Port-au-Prince offering survivors the chance to be hooked up to an e-meter. Hopefully if they find any gay people, they can begin curing them. For the Volunteer Ministers, you see, a tragedy is not so much a tragedy as a tragitunity. But please, don't take Lost in Showbiz's word for it – take that of L Ron himself, who personally decreed the strategy he called "Casualty Contact", in which he advised Scientologists to scan newspapers for reports of accidents or bereavements, searching for "people who have been victimised one way or another by life". Stipulating that one way to do this was to trawl hospitals, Hubbard declared of the ambulance-chasing Scientologist that, "He should represent himself . . . as a minister whose compassion was compelled by the newspaper story concerning the person [. . .] However, in handling the press he should simply say that it is a mission of the church to assist those who are in need of assistance. He should avoid any lengthy discussions of Scientology and should talk about the work of ministers and how all too few ministers these days get around to places where they are needed. It's straight recruiting!" Casualty Contact has since modulated into the Volunteer Ministers programme, whose yellow tents are increasingly visible at high-profile disaster sites, and often enlivened by special appearances by their celebrity adherents. Within these tents Scientologists administer the aforementioned Touch Assists, whose purpose is to "speed the Thetan's ability to heal or repair a condition with his body". After 9/11, aid agencies at Ground Zero voiced concern that the Volunteer Ministers had displayed their leaflets around the disaster site and operated in the restricted area without authorisation until this was pointed out to the police, who then denied them access. Two days after the tragedy, and presenting themselves as an organisation called National Mental Health Assistance, representatives of the Church of Scientology duped Fox News into running the church's freephone number for five hours on the bottom of the screen, apparently in the belief that it was the official outreach hotline. Fox News removed it after an irate intervention from the real National Mental Health Association. "The public needs to understand that the Scientologists are using this tragedy to recruit new members," the president of the NMHA stated. "They are not providing mental health assistance." Au contraire, say the Scientologists, who claim they provide a unique brand of "meaningful help" during catastrophes. They were there after the tsunami, after Katrina – with added Travolta – and in Beslan, before being asked to leave after the local Russian health ministry judged their techniques unhelpful to already severely traumatised children. And of course they were there after the 7 July attacks, when an undercover BBC investigation taped the leader of the London branch of the Church's anti-psychiatry movement laughing that their role in the immediate aftermath of the bombings was "fighting the psychiatrists; keeping the psychs away [from survivors]". One survivor who happened to have mental health training voiced his shock that Scientologists had attempted to recruit him and others. What sort of numbers they'll do in Haiti remains to be seen, but hats off to Travolta and the church leaders for deploying in this way. As for Scientology's most famous face, do recall "the Mr Cruise response to 9/11" – setting up the First New York Hubbard Detox project where firemen who had breathed in the World Trade Centre dust were encouraged to submit to the "Purification Rundown", discarding their medication and taking endless saunas along with high doses of niacin, much to the despair of their doctors. Whether even Tom's nuclear self-confidence extends to mooting the First Port-au-Prince Hubbard Detox Project, only time will tell. http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/lostinshowbiz/2010/jan/22/john-travolta-scientologists-haiti

According to Norf yes. A woman/wife has one purpose and one purpose alone…cooking (cutting his hiliib) and popping children like a coca cola vending machine. Now what say you? Aww KK- am glad you got her and she is safe and sound. Pheww that sounds like a white hair moment.

Norf-is asking because of what you said yesterday. So, did you cut the chicken for your husband?

Thats why me like@Juxa...

Juxa- can’t stand it. Watched it couple of times and frankly my free time is overtaken by the Gossip Girls (ohh yes am not ashamed) Faheema- that’s hilarious…so what does Ghandi and Ghengis have in common? p.s I’ve just noted the only thread moving in the General section is this thread. Mmmh are people busy today?

Haa, i wana see it. na tuus dee.

*thinks about that visualisation thread…….closes her eyes and thinks old man old man old man…now lets see what the universe does. p.s they always come back. Juxa- really, my masawiir? Hair fetish? Who has hair fetish?

Usheeg baal. Johnny- is that even possible?

Old Man- Are you implying something? Hello Ibti and why the sad face?

Tsk tsk Juxa- I know, some women behave in a manner that is disgrace to the female sex. And men like Johnny &co capitalise on it. shocking. Anyhow- Juxa reformed rakes make the perfect husbands, so I hear- care to find a suitable candidate (think of it as a project/preferable non-sijui? ) and reform Johnny?

Must you advertise that? Why must you say Sijui….Dam you Johnny. I’m trying really hard to propel the sijui Qabil and you’re doing everything in your power to demolish that. For future purposes just say my girlfriend, lover, or the women with questionable morals etc perfectly acceptable titles I assure you. Hello Jonny

Work why-yo? Hello Curly and I’ve always asked the same questions. They come up with the oddest things ever….waste of taxpayers money. Faheema- what Babnjar is tired..naa baax

U welcome my dear....Cake and Tea is not the solution to everything. *cutting down on her mid-day hot coco…t Any plans for the weekend (turning into one of those nosy people who post intrusive threads)

Juxa- Hello Ladies....... KK- stop teasing me.

Ohh nooh!!! I dont want his love, all i want is him. Now dont confuse the universe young lady. *resending my order to the universe...

My shukansi is wasted on you old man, wasted.

Jonny- its rude to talk in-between a man and a woman. Don’t you see am trying to woo the old man?? Insolent Aha ha old man….. Hello KK

Look whos back from the women section.....Old man

*visualising Clive Owen leaving his wife for me……lets see if that happens.

lol@ Juxa. about tuulos@ ibti and Juxa training programme.