There is no such thing as marrying someone on the Net rather there is marrying someone u get to know on the Net. It would be advisable to meet and see if there the chemistry still exists when u meet face to face. If there is hope then go for it and if not then it was awild goose chase. Just dont rule out the fact that U wont marry someone u get acquanted on the net. I think it would be short sighted of us to say that nothing can happen on the net for the Net is just another form of communication and most of all, one is likely to meet that elusive person they have always hungered for. NEVER SAY NEVER

Islam is away of life and at the end of the day its up to us to follow what is in our hearts. We have to remember too that it is avery tolerant religion. Anything bad said about it thats not true is something thats between the one who says it and Almighty God. The lady can talk about women having problems but I think she was wrong in attacking the religion esp. in todays atmosphere where everything about it is sensational. If she wanted fame and money, all she could have done was perhaps write a book about the culture she so much hated than become another thorn in the flesh all moslems. I think she should have have written something about the suffering of the women rather than attack Islam.

I was looking at some extracts from Waries books and they surely sounded quite amusing. Here are a few extracts and comments. “My family was a tribe of herdsmen in the Somalia desert. And as a child, the freedom I had to experience nature’s sights, sounds and smells was pure joy. We watched lions baking in the sun. We ran with giraffes, zebras and foxes. We chased hyraxes—rabbit-size animals—through the sand. I was so happy.” You would think she was living in a zoo somehow. “By five I knew what it was to be an African woman, to live with terrible suffering in a passive, helpless manner.” You would think that African women don’t still suffer with the burdens of raising families. After all she portrays here that she had a wonderful mom and dad who eloped with each other and probably loved each other. “ "Come and get me," I said to the lion. "I’m ready." The big cat stared at me, and my eyes locked on his. He licked his lips and paced back and forth in front of me, elegantly, sensuously. He could crush me in an instant. Finally he turned and walked away, no doubt deciding that I had so little flesh, I wasn't worth eating. “ Now what kinda woman is so brave as to ask a lion to eat her?J “Papa was very handsome, about six feet tall, slim and lighter-skinned than Mama. My mother was beautiful. Her face was like a Modigliani sculpture and her skin dark and smooth, as if perfectly chiseled from black marble. Her demeanor was very calm, very quiet. But when she started talking, she was hysterically funny, telling jokes and saying silly little things to make us laugh. “ I bet she misses that and yes Somalis tend to be just that pretty/handsome and funny.

To all the lovely ladies n gents, most of what you said has an element of truth and I guess we are on the right truck in as far as these discussion is concerned. S.L - I don’t know about wishing for a dead granny but I understand where you coming from. I would like to say though that some mom in-laws would be a very integral part of a great family. Your children need the love and the oral stories told by grannies. Amran – Loving your children means that their happiness also is paramount. You can’t possibly treat your children as some property because you taught them everything they know most of all gave birth to them. I do know that what your soar is what you rip at the end of the day if you bring your children the right way then they will always be your children and will always be there for you despite being married. Buubto – True that a family with Imaan and Islamic values would be great. However, I don’t think that being the only son or being with many sisters makes such a difference. In fact it could work out very nicely for one. The family could dot on you and your children and that could be something you never get anywhere in this world. At the end of the day you can find out a little about the family from talking to your future hubby or wife to be. Here is alittle story about the sad part of belonging to a family that doesnt care so much for ones happiness. A few years ago, I happened to know a family with three daughters and the oldest wasn’t married somehow due to the fact that she was the ASSET of the family. The hardest working, the most responsible, and the one who is able to solve most of the family problems. She basically was a great business lady too. However, she was ripe (ready to settle) but the problem was that no man was good enough for according to her mom. Her biological clock was ticking so to speak and was king facing the big three (0). Her mom was unbelievably uncomfortable to let her daughter leave the nest. She didn’t care for in as far as her own emotional problems where concerned n the poor lady was so loyal to her mom. Men came n went but still there was no one good enough for the MOM. Anyway the poor gal eventually eloped n run off with some stranger n now lives with a man who barters her every moment he gets and she cant go back home as the her mom was (a witch). I have to however, say that every individual is different and we could be too judgmental here. There are millions of great in-laws who would really take you for their own son when married to their daughter and I have to say if you happen to strike it lucky then you will be laughing even in your deathbed.

Smiley you right there when you say you have to move out of town and perhaps live in another city. A few thousand miles would do for sure. However having said that, I do think too that there are wonderful inlaws who can be the best thing that has ever happened to one.

Having been in the west for a decade or so, I have seen so many kids totally losing their ways and most of their cultural heritage. Most of them dont even know what to say when greeted in Somali and a lot more of them scorn on their own ways, dress code or behavior. The pride that used to typify the true Somali is now in real danger of being diluted with infringements from other cultures and more so the wrong kind of culture. Our home stay should be Somali though I would say go pick the best from other cultures and try to come up with what’s acceptable rather than be someone without roots. In response to the question asked, I think its of major importance to ship teenagers back to the motherland to get culturally boosted if not reconfigured.

My take on this issue is that some in-laws are hell bent on trying to make their daughters/Sons the most miserable ones. I have actually seen marriages broken because a mother in-law has her daughter wrapped around her lil finger and always calls the shorts even when the marriage is very successful and involving kids. I think its also xaraam to destroy anyone’s marriage through hearsay and silly allegations that have no grounds or even because one party is not materialistically blessed. There is a very strong argument today in our community that a lot of pple today don’t get married because the mother in-law or auntie or someone influential within the family doesn’t like the incumbent husband or wife for that matter. Sometimes I think some relatives want their children to be more miserable than they ever where in past misery. Im sure there are loads of stories to tell about in-laws from hell in most Somali families.

Over the years I have seen a number of marriages destroyed by inlaws from both parties (Hubby/Wife). It is said among our community that once you marry a lady/man you marry the whole family too somehow. Because of the nature of this extended family structure, the chances of ruining ones marriage is pretty high. Do you think Inlaws should meddle in a husbands and wives affairs or is one married to the whole family? Plz discuss.

This is pretty much interesting and brings forward the dilemmas “We” as a community face. I haven’t read any of her books as yet but I also cant help thinking perhaps that Somalis cant solve their own problems and wait for the West to come and rescue us out of it. It is well noted that like Weriis does in her books, we have to bring out the dirty laundry for other cultures to laugh at "US". Whatever, our ills and Ails are, there should be a home made remedy and not a westernised one cause the only way you get to be viewed is being barbaric in nature and very backward. That poison so far comes from within rather from the outside. We are well known for creating out own misery rather than alleviate them. The lesson we should learn is that we should learn that no one is out there to cure “US” but “US”. To me the lady happens to represent a culture regardless of what the culture is and so far she has brought more shame ridicule and more scorn our way than a few millions Somalis could have in many years. She’s a mouthpiece for the society however, just like a lot more around the West (brainwashed), she keeps stabbing deeper and deeper. There is a need for the community to learn that there are far too many backward cultures out there than the Somali one but then again they have what We Somalis call "CEEB QARIIS".

Malaika sis you dont have to look too far away. We got smart ones here but Im not so sure whether they as handsome as you may want them to be as I havent seen most of the bros around here. We do have amatch making thread so perhaps we can play cupid for ya. Just say what your preferences are

Todays game against Sunderland just highlighted the supriority in gap btn the Gooners n the rest of the premiership. Peter Reid must have lost 1/4 of his hair scratching it out trying to think of how to stop them. It wasnt football it was more like Salsa on the pitch. He said this about his players "'I must be speaking Swahili because the message didn't get through." Poor fella the pressure is piling on him.

We ask Allah to provide him with the strength and compassion that he so deserves and may he come out of the surgery theatre in a better condition than when he went in. May Allah bless him.

Absolutely right Cushtic.....It could also be heriditary in some cases too...

Scop - Sis if I were you I would perhaps start thinking about doing the first "MILLS & BOONS" series Somali style. You certainly got what it takes to make one think about that lingering kiss.

Filsan - the Pleasure is all mine sis,

We are breaking all kinds of record in the premiership and when we go to Europe most teams are shaking in their boots.... Watch while we dominate....Go gooonerssss read on please.. Gunners Humble Leeds at their own backyard

Im always puzzled by Soul-Lady. To me she epitomises the sound of reason and ofcouse calls the shots as she sees rather than be a follower...respect to theee as always and I do really hope that Happiness is what you shall rip. I like the following and I think it sure makes alot of sense.... "Of course there are exceptions to every rule. But by and large, women can be very rigid and not very flexible in what they want and what they are willing to sacrifice in order to get with a prospective partner. And a lot of times, it's got to do with idiotic, shallow reasons (looks, money, social status ie; Ina_hebel)that don't mean anything in the grand scheme of things Welcome back SL

Very interesting perspectives but so far u guys havent justified your responses. Please beef them up.

Interesting Analysis and Statement By The Minister Of State For Foreign And Commonwealth Affairs, Baroness Symons 'THE LINK BETWEEN POVERTY AND TERRORISM'

BIOTERRORISM AND BIOWEAPONS SPECIAL REPORT

Check this out.. British dossier on Iraqi weapons released

William Maclean of Reuters writes..:- MOGADISHU, Somalia — Water vendor Abdullah Hussein unhitches his donkey cart and sets off up a baking-hot Mogadishu street. If you could forget this was Somalia and somehow blank out the garbage, the rubble, the rats, and the drugged-up, gun-toting militiamen, the scene at a water bore-hole might make a pretty postcard for tourists in search of new and unusual destinations. But war has kept tourists away for more than a decade now, and war, too, is the underlying reason why vendors like Hussein and his four-legged workmate Stick are a decidedly mixed blessing in a city plagued by water and sanitation problems. Cholera germs often lurk in the 200-liter metal drums of water which the donkeys pull around the devastated port city, laying low hundreds and maybe thousands of inhabitants every year. Dangerous water is just one of the many perils that have created the human health disaster that is southern Somalia, a region hammered by years of militia anarchy, almost bereft of formal medical care, and hit by sickness and malnutrition. The health statistics of the Horn of Africa country make sobering reading. Life expectancy is 47 years. Forty-five women die every day from childbirth and pregnancy complications. There is one fully qualified Somali doctor for every 250,000 people, according to U.N. statistics. And less than one-third of Somalis have access to clean water. Piped water is certainly beyond the reach of most in Mogadishu, where the main water plant is out of use thanks to mechanical problems and turf fights among rival factions. TOO POOR FOR CLEAN WATER Aid groups like Action Contre La Faim (ACF) put chlorine in the city's wells, but once the water is pumped up into the metal drums on the donkey carts, the metal oxidizes the chlorine, neutralizing its power to kill any cholera present in the water. "I know — and I am sorry — but I cannot do anything," shrugged Hussein, who earns the equivalent of $1 a day. "I cannot afford a plastic drum." "It's a strong assumption that the carts are one of the main mediums for cholera infection," said ACF's Jon Cunliffe. Security is so bad that international aid workers cannot organize safe and reliable distribution of plastic drums for fear they will be stolen and resold at a profit by warlords. Plastic drums on the open market, at more than three times the $7 cost of a metal drum, are too expensive for water sellers. In a ward in an ACF cholera treatment center, flies buzz around children dehydrated by diarrhea as they lie exhausted, hooked up to intravenous fluids and fanned by their mothers. "There is no clean water where I live, and we cannot afford to buy clean water," said Nadra Habat, cradling her daughter Fatouma, a 2-year-old whimpering and wide-eyed with pain. Her analysis of Fatouma's plight goes well beyond medicine. "The militia gangs have caused most of our problems in this war," she said. "Everyone wants to be president, to get power for himself. That is why we do not have peace." As she speaks, a barely conscious young boy nearby discharges a stream of diarrhea across his bed. His brother waves a fan over his head. A few beds away, Zata Issa examines her prostrate 1-year-old daughter Zaadiya. "We have no clear water," she said. Asked why, she replied, "We have no security." ENDEMIC CHOLERA Before war broke out in 1991, cholera outbreaks were recorded only in 1970 and 1985. Since 1994, cholera has become endemic, with annual outbreaks in the dry season. From 1994 to 1998, 70,250 cases of cholera were recorded, and between 1994 and 1996 there were 1,867 recorded deaths, the U.N. Development Programme says. No one knows the real toll. While more Somalis have access to clean water than five years ago, the percentage of the population with access to safe water has declined since before the war to less than 30 percent, with better access in the more stable north than in the south. Only 35 percent of the country's bore-holes are believed to work due to lack of maintenance, poor construction, and conflict-related destruction. Across town at an ACF feeding center, listless children with malnutrition stare blankly at visitors. Most are from the countryside, uprooted by fighting, scarcity of food, or the need for medical attention. Skin hangs loosely from 1-year-old Idil Adam's stick-thin arms and legs. Her hair is reddish and her belly slightly swollen, the pitiful result of tuberculosis and malnutrition. "There is no doctor, no pharmacy where I live," said her mother Shukir Adam, explaining why she chose to bring Idil to Mogadishu from her home village near southern town of Baidoa. ACF staff says Idil will probably survive this bout of TB, one of the main causes of infant mortality along with acute respiratory disease, diarrhea, cholera, malaria, and measles. So Adam, for one, is thankful to be in Mogadishu. "Life here is better," she said. "At home, I cannot get a doctor. And my husband, he just vanished one day to Ethiopia."

Hagiii now there is aman who has his facts at his finger tips.....please more:) Oh by the way Im glad to see you atlast arrive on the scene. Always apleasure to have another brother among us the nomads. Welcome Welcome!

Ohh goosssh I forgot all about this section of the forum. What happened with me and you, Him and Her and most of all the ayaaa isku dacaay? This has to be asuccess since the tradtional match is no longer in use. The new culture just doesnt allow for it to happen.

Kool Kat sis you are welcome to express yourself in the most elaborate way u feel like but when it comes to a tit for tat then the fun goes out of it all. You are abrighter star just keep shining on sis and lets enjoy all that you have to offer and more.