Ismahaan;689339 wrote: There are many times when speaking your truth is in your highest good and the highest good of others however some truths do hurt and it’s never right to hurt another by telling them something that can be offensive or upsetting but then again it hurts them more because you're not being completely honest with them. In my point of view it’s not the truth that hurts it's the manner in which it is received that can cause the pain. Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth. –Thoreau Nice saying:D

Jacaylbaro;676188 wrote: LAMA COPY GAREYN KAREE bALAAYO:P

What did he do?

waz up ma boy?

Qodax Qorax;689174 wrote: Naxar I doubt if your maahmaah is authenthical Xamari. And I have the idea that you are selling us a Qowdhan maahmaah? Maahmaahyadaada ayaaba gacan ku sameys ila ah:D

So, did mike tyson bit another player's finger?...... or cheek:D

Jacaylbaro;685734 wrote: Maba Lulatee Maxay Leeftaa ........... Haddii la yiraah nin reer somland baa loo dooran madaxweyne somaliyed, waad ogolaan laheydeen:D

hamza;685888 wrote: qiyaana aya ka dhex aburantay soomaalida. qiyaanadi salkeeda wali lama hayo. soomaali badankeda maba caafimaad qaban. sababto oo ah waa dad qaad(jaad/khat) iyo dorogadu isticmaala, maskax dooda ayna fadinin. marka hadan hoos isku egno melaha khatka aad loga uno waxa ka mid ah somaliland, SSC ,puntland iyo villa somalia. taas waxa cadeyn uu ah in an laga cuuni kariin khaat melaha ayka taliyaan wadaadada. hormarkeena wuxuu ku jiraa in an ika dafno shaydankan khaat la yiraado kaso dhibaato weyn ugestay bulshada soomaaliyeed. Cantara baqash iyo hini hini:p Khaadka afkaaga hala gelin dowlad la'aantu qaad ma keenine

Hadda ka hor baa mid xerta rabiiciyah, jb ayaa garanaayo sidaan filaayee qaad ka dhergay, odayga aabihii ahna uma uusan ogoleyn qaadka, markuu soo dhaqaaqaaye buu aabihii albaabka kasoo galay, illeyn odaygube waa xirtee, intuu aabihii kusoo jeestuu ku yiri {mala iga garanaa inaan qaad cunay, aabaan ka qarsanayaaye:p} maalin kalena habaryartii baa soo wacday, markaas bey tiri ''waryaa c/fataax'' intuu jamaacadi fadhiday kusoo jeestay kuye {war yaa c/fataax la yiraah naag baa dooneysee} waa magaciisee ogow c/fataax, taleefankana isagaa leh. kuwuu la fadhiyaa yiri war waa adiga c/fataax, {dee mexey iga dooneysaa, hadaan aniga ahay c/fataax kuye} war waa aniga habaryartaa heblaayo bey tiri:p

Jacaylbaro;689150 wrote: jaceyl, we have the same taste in movies

kudoz to alihashi and his friends. nice people

grasshopper;689070 wrote: That scene is Snatch is hillarious!! Crazy British humour... If I had to pick just one scene it would be this one From "Being John Malkovich" hahaha:D

Qodax Qorax;688950 wrote: Hamza, my theory is that how more jaad people chew, how more peacefull they are. Look at Djibouti, nowhere they chew so much as in Djibouti. And djibouti is truly peacefull. Tonight is jeudi soir in Djibouti, they pray and they chew. But in Southern parts of Somalia they dont chew tonight they salughter eachother, murder, rape, etc. For example lets look at you and your recent post you have made on SOL. I have analysed it and came to the conclusion that they show that you are an angry Somali, a bit agressive, probably from the South, former ciyaal xaafad, likes money doesnt matter how you earn it, thinks he is educated because he compares himself with his illiterate friends, that you parttime support of Al Shabaab, that you are against Djibouti, Somaliland,TFG and Puntland, but you do support ICU and other former warlods, etc. So ask yourself what kind of people are the cause of the conflict in Somalia? I think that's a good point:D

Fisher man;689086 wrote: My nick name z walmasaakinii, real name z diifle diim0w dufle, sm0kin nah bt calaq iyo shiishad baan cabaa, Jiro isfiilito la dhahaa qabaa maanta dhan fag ******aan ku jiraa, april baan dhashay, taan jeclaado waa leyka aroosaa, if i die waxan jeclahay in leeku duugo km0 meel la yiraahdo kii xamar yaqanaa yaqanee, The first day I met you in SOL baan ogaa inaad afuufow iyo kaduudiyow qabto:p I think I am known here, No need inaan is sheego again and again:D

http://www.kenyanlist.com/attachments/y/20100803201318_holes.pdf

Somalina;688575 wrote: Nina Edit kusamee mid reer sol ah Ku qor alaabtaan:D

And he likes it that way. In this, he describes how a demon race called "Demonites" were brought into being, and about their mysterious past...... Let me start by saying that normal does not exist in this world. You just can’t find a normal guy, on a normal street, with normal neighbors, in a normal town. Its just not possible. People are abnormal by nature. And that’s exactly what i am: abnormal. A freak is more like it, but enough about how I perceive myself, let me start off by telling you the facts. My Name is Odin. Yes, that is the Norse god. I know that this is atypical, along with my height. I’m six feet tall, and I am only 13 and in eighth grade. I am built like a football player, and ironically, I hate sports. Here are the things that make me who i am: 1. I am a witch. Not those kinds of evil witches you see on Halloween specials, or the Satanist killers you hear about from your local priest. The type who follow a religion called Wicca. 2. I have Aspergers Syndrome, which is a social disorder. It means that I think and perceive things differently than most people. And because of that, what I’m about to tell you may be only how interpret it. If I told a relatively sane person, I’d be thrown in the loony bin. But here it goes: 3. I’m not human..well not completely anyway. Here's how it is, on one side of the family I’m human. On the other, I am something called a Demonite. Demons exist, but they don’t work for Satan. They are just another species like humans and vampires, except all they care about is killing all different species because they believe others are impure. At the dawn of man, a handful of Demons crossed over from their realm. They crossbred with humans, and thats how the new anthropoid Demon came to be. Demonites were shunned from local human tribes, and the Demons thought of them as tainted, with their human blood. So they spread across earth, developed small clans, and paired up with certain animals. And thats is how the Demonite clans came into existence. There are many clans: The bear clan, the wolf clan, the dolphin clan, snake, eagle, turtle, and so on. Through thousands of years of living in secrecy from humans with animals, some of the animal DNA got into ours. Once humans had forgot about us and started creating larger civilizations, we started to live with them, acting as if we were one of them. But we were hunted down as monsters when we were found out, and many of us perished. Our taste for human flesh was the main the factor that lead to us being revealed for what we really are. Then most of what was left of us traveled to the demon realm for safety. They were dead within seconds. Now we are thinly spread across the globe, trying to keep our secret, along with creatures like vampires, manticores, mermaids, fairies, and additional "Otherworldly Beings." The United Nations has created a program that helps protect our secrets from the public and terrorist organizations, called the Association for Otherworldly Beings, or AOB for short. In return we must fight creatures that have harmful intent towards humans, and us for that matter. And this is how my "great epic" begins.

War saake maxaa lagu baryay? canjeero malagu qureecday? Sayid*Somal;688746 wrote: Barwaaqo - i am absolutely livid that you would even entertain the idea of combining in a sentence the words 'lost', 'doubt' and the ultimate Somali poetry powerhouse Sayidka. In my last lines of dispersal order that i sent through out the bandwidths of SOL - even had line in it mentioning Buhoodle in honour of you and here you are with such nonsense as "if"....'lost' - ooh the cheek of it :mad: aniga xagga carabiga haloo leexdo ayey ila tahay:D

I wish he is somali:D

SDM: I can’t just do a rape at the drop of the hat. I have to get myself in the mood first. Pop some psych medication, watch some porn.... SYW: Just as I thought. Always an excuse with you isn’t there? SDM: I can show you a bit of stalking if you like.... Just a minute or two. Just remember this is just a demonstration so don’t go freaking out on me or spraying me with Mace or anything. SYW: I promise I won’t freak out. SDM: Or spray me with Mace. SYW: Or spray you with Mace. (she has the Mace canister half out of her handbag and drops it back into the bag.) SDM: (Indignant) You were going to spray me with Mace! SYW: No I wasn’t. SDM: Yes you were! You were going to give me a blast full in the face! I’d have been walking around with my eyes all puffed up for a week, looking like bloody Yoda! SYW: Well, alright maybe I was going to give you just a small squirt. Just a small one mind. For a bit of realism. SDM: Well, promise you won’t. Otherwise the free demonstration is off. Cross your heart. SYW: All right, I promise. I won’t spray you with Mace. SDM: You’ve still got your hand on it! SYW: No I haven’t. SDM: Yes you have! I can see it from here! Take your hand off the canister and put it where I can see it! SYW: (She sighs, takes her hand out of her handbag and holds it up) There! Satisfied? SDM (dubiously) Yes.....okay... remember, you promised! SYW: Look, I promise I won’t spray you with Mace. All right? Now can we please get on with this. I have to be getting back to work. SDM: Okay, okay, I’m doing it! Don’t rush me! SDM then stands a few paces away and lurks in nearby bushes and tries to look sinister but does it very amateurishly. SYW (disgusted): Well that was just awful. You look as scary as Harry Potter on Mogadon. SDM: You’re putting me off. You keep looking at me. The whole point about stalking is the victim isn’t standing there with her arms folded, staring critically at the stalker is she? I mean, that just ruins the whole atmosphere. Anyway, I need to get my motivation. (He hunches up, like an actor making a futile effort to find his motivation for a scene.) SYM: Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. That is just dreadful. Now you look like Harry Potter with constipation. That’s the worst stalking it has ever been my misfortune to witness. I’ve known garden gnomes fill me with more dread. SDM: Well, give me a ruddy minute for God’s sake. This isn’t as easy as it looks. I don’t usually stalk on demand you know. And you’re not being very provocative are you? SYW: What do you mean, I’m not very provocative? I’ll have you know I’m extremely provocative. Dozens of perverts would be only too happy to stalk me. Why don’t you admit you just don’t have it in you? SDM: And why don’t you admit you’re as provocative as Marge Simpson? I think you’re doing it on purpose to put me off. Can’t you try wiggling your *** a little bit to get me going? SYW: I am not trying to put you off but if you think I’m going to start wiggling my *** in broad daylight for your benefit, you’ve got another think coming. SDM: Well at least keep your hand away from your Mace. SYW: I already told you I am not going to Mace you. Quite frankly you’d be a complete waste of perfectly good Mace. Look, come out of the bushes before the Park Keeper mistakes you for a squirrel. This is getting us nowhere. SDM (emerges from bushes, crestfallen): I guess I’ve kind of blown the deal haven’t I? SYW: You could say that. You must be the world’s worst rapist, Mr Prozac. SDM: It’s not been one of my best days, I’ll admit. Usually I’m a lot better. SYW: Why don’t you save us both any more wasted time and just admit you’re not really a rapist. SDM. But I am! Honestly! SYW: Oh come on! Admit it! SDM: (hangs head in shame) But I really am! SYW: You’re not fooling anybody. SDM: (caves in): All right! All right! I admit it, I’m not really a rapist. You won’t tell anybody will you? My life wouldn’t be worth living if anyone finds out. SYW: I don’t think anyone is likely to ask! SDM: But if they do. SYW: If they do I won’t tell them you are not a rapist. But why go through this elaborate charade? SDM: If I told people what I really do...Well, I just can’t stand the looks, the sneers, the social stigma.....I get spat at, dogs set on me....... SYW: Well, what is it you really do? It can’t be that bad! SDM: You wouldn’t say that if you knew. SYW: Try me. SDM: You won’t like it. SYW: I’ll be fine with it. SDM: You won’t. SYW: I will. Promise. SDM: Promise? SYW: Promise. Come on, out with it! SDM: Well, if you’re sure. SYW: I’m positive. SDM: (suddenly confident) All right then (whips out clipboard.) Good morning madam, I am Arthur Prozac, your local party political candidate...." Without hesitation, in one quick angry movement SYW produces the Mace from her handbag and sprays SDM full in the face. SDM falls to floor in agony CUT END

The scene takes place at lunchtime on a park bench Characters: SMART YOUNG WOMAN (SYW) CONSERVATIVELY DRESSED MAN (CDM) Scene opens with SYW sitting alone at park bench, reading a novel, while eating her lunch. Very conservative looking man (CDM) enters and very matter-of-factly gives her his business card and introduces himself. CDM: Good morning madam, reliable local rapist at your service. SYW (shocked) What? (defensively produces Mace canister from her handbag and prepares to spray him.) CDM: Local rapist madam, at your service SYW: (relieved) Oh thank God! I thought you said you were Rolf Harris. (she relaxes and puts the Mace away) CDM: Sorry about that, I’ve been eating yogurt. SYW: I quite understand. Now what is it you want? CDM: (points out the wording on his business card) Local rapist madam. Arthur Prozac, reliable rapist and stalking services. Reasonable rates. No job too small. Emergency callout service. SYW: Yes, I can see that. (suspiciously)Reasonable rates eh? What you call reasonable and what I call reasonable may be two entirely different things. What is it then? Fifty quid for just turning up, then fifty quid an hour for a crap job that means I have to get a real professional in a week later? CDM: No, no, madam. I’ve got my reputation to think of. (Points to small print of card) You can see it says here "satisfaction guaranteed." SYW: Satisfaction? Well, it’s hardly a proper rape job if I’m satisfied is it? That would fall under the heading of a date. Are proposing to buy me dinner first? CDM: No, no...er, no that’s a typo. Should say "dissatisfaction. Dissatisfaction guaranteed" SYW: But you distinctly said, "satisfaction." CDM: No..no, not a typo. What’s that other word? You know when you say one thing but mean the exact opposite. SYW: Irony? CDM: Yes, that’s it, irony. Little bit of irony there. Make you chuckle. SYW: Well irony only works if the other person knows you mean the opposite to what you are saying. Otherwise it’s not the slightest bit amusing. How am I to know when it says quite clearly in black and white "satisfaction" that you really mean dissatisfaction? Changes the whole sense of the thing. CDM: Yes, well, all right - SYW: Doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence that I’m not talking to an amateur, when you can’t even say what you mean on your business card. CDM: (slightly rattled). Yes, well, okay, I take your point - SYM: If you ask me, I don’t think you know what you are doing. In fact I don’t think you are a rapist at all. CDM. Well I can assure you madam that I am. SYW: I don’t think so. You don’t look a bit like a rapist. CDM: Well what’s a rapist supposed to look like? Let’s not get into stereotyping shall we? Some of the best rapists I know look like psychiatrists. Come to think of it, they all do. Anyway we don’t go around with "rapist" tattooed across our foreheads. Completely ruin the mystique that. SYW: Well you go around with a business card with "rapist" written on it. CDM: Well, if I didn’t how would you know I’m the real deal and not just someone pretending he’s a rapist? SYW: A little card hardly proves anything. CDM: I can supply references. Police wanted posters..... SYW: You have them handy do you? CDM: No, not actually on me at this moment. They’re back at the office. SYW: Just as I thought. You’re a just a cowboy trying to give the real professionals a bad name. I mean, look at you! You’re not even unshaven and I bet you’ve had at least one bath in the last twenty four hours. CDM: No I haven’t. SYW: Yes you have! It’s obvious! And what kind of rapist walks around accosting women wearing an expensive business suit? That doesn’t make much sense does it? Cost you a fortune in cleaning bills. CDM: I......er, use a blanket. When I’m on a job. I supply my own blanket. So my suit doesn’t get all messed up. SYW: You’re making all this up as you go along! CDM: No I’m not. SYW: Yes you are! You’re making it all up! You’re not really a rapist at all! So what are you really selling? CDM: Look, I’m telling you I am a professional rapist. Twenty years experience man and psychopath. SYW: So you say. But I’m not just going to take your word for it am I? CDM: I don’t see why not. SYW: If I took the word of every Tom Dick or Harry that comes up to me and tells me he’s a rapist, then where would I be? SDM: (fishes in pocket and pulls out wallet) I’ve got a licence. SYW: There’s no such thing as a professional rapist’s license. SDM: Yes there is. Hang on a minute....(finds an official looking licence in his wallet and flashes it briefly like a policeman flashing a warrant card) See? SYW: I hardly got a look at it. Let me see it again. And hold it still this time. SDM: (Holds up license again. She holds his hand steady so she can read the license carefully). There. Told you. (He puts license away quickly) SYW: That is a driving license, with "driving "crossed out and "rapist" written over the top of it in green biro. SDM: No it isn’t SYW: Yes it is! And you’ve even spelled "rapist" wrong . SDM: No I haven’t. SYW: Yes you have! There’s only one "p" in rapist. Otherwise that would be a rapist license and there’s no such thing as a rapist. SDM: That’s the Welsh spelling. SYW: The Welsh spelling? SDM: Yes. The Rapist and Stalker Licensing Authority is in Swansea. The Welsh spell it with two p’s. SYW: No they don’t SDM: Yes they do! Everybody knows that. Look it up on Wikipedia when you get home if you don’t believe me. SYW: I assure you, I intend to. Anyway, leaving aside for the moment the minor details of the spelling and the green biro, how much do you charge? SDM: Just the standard rate madam. SYW: Which is? SDM: Special introductory rate of fifteen pounds for the first hour. Then twenty pounds an hour for all subsequent hours. Additional ten pounds an hour for kidnap/hostage scenarios. SYW: Sounds a bit pricey to me. SDM: Well, it’s a high risk business! But that’s for the whole package, which includes your standard stalking service. SYW: And what does that involve exactly? SDM: Your basic stalking. I do as very professional lurking and loitering. Subtle yet deeply intimidating. It’s a bit of an art.... Give me your address and I can even arrange to be in your house when you come home. No extra charge SYW: Well, that’s very reasonable ...but I’m hardly ever home. Except on Wednesdays....." SDM: Tell you what. Give me your phone number and I’ll even call you up and give you the heavy breathing service. I do a very good heavy breathing. That’s the best deal I can do. You won’t get better anywhere else. SYW: Well, give me a demonstration. SDM: What, now? SYW: Yes. Go on: let me hear the heavy breathing. Somewhat self-consciously SDM does some heavy breathing in SYW’s ear. SYW: Is that it? That wasn’t very good. I wasn’t the slightest bit repulsed. SDM: Well you can see me! That kind of spoils it. You’ve got to imagine I’m invisible. SYW: That’s not it. It just doesn’t sound sexual or pervy at all. A bit wheezy if anything. Are you sure you’re cut out for your line of work? SDM: I’m just out of practice. Not much call for the heavy breathing nowadays. What with the withheld numbers thing and all that. SYW: Alright, we’ll let that go. I’m not sure the pervy phone calls would cut it anyway. Straight to voicemail and then the sinister magic is lost. Okay, so show me what you can do. Give me a demonstration! SDM: Look, I can’t just go around giving out freebies willy nilly. SYW: Suit yourself. But so far I haven’t seen or heard anything that proves to me you are who and what your say you are. So go on then, show me something. TO BE CONTINUED