ALLAH AKBAR, Thanks Rahima , you brought tears to my eyes. I admire those who are truthful to themselves and take noble actions. Mashallah.

Happy new Year

Dealing with the Elderly: An Etiquette Tipsheet By Samana Siddiqui Reprinted from Soundvision How often is it that we see people, Muslim or not, uttering worse than the 'Uff' Allah orders us not to say in dealing with their aging parents? Keeping Islamic etiquette when it comes to our parents or seniors is hard in a culture that's becoming increasingly rude. Below are five tips that can help: 1. Remember that the Elderly are people too They aren't cast offs, they are not burdens. They were once our age, young, with dreams, aspirations, in most cases families. They are individuals who have contributed to society by raising kids, working in a number of professions, and they were and can be productive now too. See them as people, who deserve respect. 2. Spend quality time with them This means spending quality time with them, taking meals with them. We're less likely to treat someone we consider a friend rudely than someone who we deem a stranger. 3. Take a break from caregiving If you're one of the Muslims who, Alhamdulillah, has taken on the task of caring for parents who are seniors, take a day off from the 'job'. Give yourself a break by asking help from a relative who lives nearby or a friend. This will ease the pressure and stress, which can lead to a buildup in emotions, especially anger and frustration. 4. Give someone else a break from caregiving If you know of a brother or sister who is taking care of his/her parent(s), give them a break. Take their parents out for a day or just to your home for meals. Do what you can to ease the pressure. This can also benefit you if you never grew up around seniors. The experience can teach patience, kindness and you can even learn from seniors. 5. Be Patient While this is easier said than done, it is necessary. While many of us tend to exercise patience with kids in the face of bad behavior, this practice is often thrown out the window when it comes to our seniors. Think of them as children now too, part of the life cycle. They are frail physically as well as emotionally. There is so much emphasis on building the self-esteem of our kids, but we often see people tearing down the self-esteem of our elders. We can only truly stop this practice with patience. And a special note should be made of long stories, which seniors are often fond of sharing. Instead of interrupting or expressing exasperation, perhaps take out a tape recorder, or better yet, write down the story being recounted. That way you will force yourself to listen, and you'll have a great historical document once the narration is complete. Courtesy: www.everymuslim.com

Its true for those who werent in Somalia it is hard to understand the effects the war had .We can only sympathise and learn from others. The most I experienced was the increase in somali people in our city and met, hosted new met relatives. Well, I was at home in Dar es salaam all excited about the new birth of my baby sister our No.4.You can guess how its like the excitement. Apart from that was the usual schooling,weekend Maalim came 2 teach us quraan. Im sorry to say but dont remember more than that. What I do remember was when we heard about the war and its effects and learnt that it was based on tribalism.We, children especially Me and my brother as we were older were warned not 2 talk about it-our ethnicity. Back then All somalis were brothers ,freinds, family even at school my pals were Somalis(there were only 3 of us). We made a secret pact among ourselves not to let the war at the motherland divide us. Alhamdullilah we finished school without a squabble.

Mashallah. Have no words to add. May you earn your mothers blessings and enter Jannah. Amin.

Inallilah wainaIllahi Rajiun.^^Amin

Once upon a time... There was a rich King who had 4 wives . He loved the 4 wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to the finest of delicacies. He gave her nothing but the best. He also loved the 3rd wife very much and was always showing her off to neighboring kingdoms. However, he feared that one day she would leave him for another. He also loved his 2nd wife . She was his confidante and was always kind, considerate and patient with him. Whenever the King faced a problem, he could confide in her to help him get through the difficult times. The King's 1st wife was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and kingdom. However, he did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her. One day, the King fell ill and he knew his time was short. He thought of his luxurious life and pondered, "I now have 4 wives with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone. Thus, he asked the 4th wife , "I have loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word. Her answer cut like a sharp knife right into his heart. The sad King then asked the 3rd wife , "I have loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No!" replied the 3rd wife . "Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to remarry!" His heart sank and turned cold. He then asked the 2nd wife , "I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only send you to your grave." Her answer came like a bolt of thunder and the King was devastated. Then a voice called out: "I'll leave with you and follow you no matter where you go." The King looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, she suffered from malnutrition Greatly grieved, the King said, "I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!" In Truth, we all have 4 wives in our lives ... Our 4th wife is our body . No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die. Our 3rd wife is our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, it will all go to others. Our 2nd wife is our family and friends . No matter how much they have been there for us, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave. And our 1st wife is our Soul , often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the ego. However, our Soul is the only thing that will follow us wherever we go. So cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now! It is your greatest gift to offer the world. Let it Shine!

I have 3 minor ones less than 6 on the richter scale. Pray I will leave here before any damage is done.Amin. A week ago experienced a small tremor. Allah Akbar.

Why was the broom late? It over-swept! (Hannah, 8) Why did Johnny take a ruler to bed? So he could see how long he slept. (Adelina, 8) What does a frog do when its car breaks down? It gets toad! (Shea, 10) What is a fund for needy musicians? A band aid. (Joseph Rosenbloom) Why did the angry lady put a firecracker under the pancakes? She wanted to blow her stack ((Betty Debnam: Mighty Funnies) What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It whined! (Madeleine,9) Why was the queen's room flooded? Because she's rained for many years! (Justin, 9) Why didn't the skunk call his parents? Because his phone was out of odor! (Jonathan, 11) Why did the Amish wife apply for a divorce? Her husband was driving her buggy. Why didn't the explorer go on the Arctic exposition? Because he had cold feet. (Jumble: Arnold & Argirlon) Why did the witch buy a computer? She needed a spell checker (Maria, 10) What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's my popcorn Where did King Arthur go for entertainment? To a knight club How do geologists like their drinks? On the rocks (Troy) What do frogs like to drink? Croak-a-Cola (Joy, 10) What do you get when you bless an avacado? Holy guacamole. What language does a billboard speak? Sign language! (Jerry, 13 Why is a crossword puzzle like a quarrel? Because one word leads to another Why do some sausages have meat at one end and corn meal at the other? Because it's hard to make both ends meat. What sort of attire is most appropriate for dog scientists and researchers to wear? Lab coats (Gary Hallock) Why did the boy smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam! (Sarah, 11) What do you call a whale band? An orca-stra! (Luke, 10) How do you make a banana split? Cut it in half (Alejaandro, 9) What kind of bugs live in clocks? Ticks! (Vanessa, 13) What is the best time of the year to use a trampoline? Spring Time (Danelle)

observer hio kali. wonder what the tanzanian will be like? Asante Heres another swahili joke. Akili za mswahili. Lakini kidogo rated. Titled:Mtoto akai na nani? pale mahakamani mama akadai yeye anastahili kukaa na mtoto kwani ndie alieemleta duniani kutoka tumboni. baba akadai mwenye haki ni yeye. alipotakiwa atoe sababu akamuuliza hakimu, "bw. hakimu, nikitia coins(pesa) kwenye mashine ya kuuzia soda, ile soda inapotoka inakuwa ni mali ya nani?" akajibiwa, "yako". akaendelea " ikiwa hivyo mimi nilitia ....... kwa mke wangu akatoka mtoto, hivyo ni wangu"!!

^^^ :confused: at bloody explaination. I think it was clear. As I assumed the Qn asked was why it is haram. In shariah it is QIYAS -parallel. If something was previously allowed or disallowed by a text(Quran or Hadith) or Ijma(consessus) and especially if the reason behind the decision is known, it will be a basis for allowing or disallowing a new practise of similar nature. An example is the ruling on prohibition of alcohol due its intoxicating nature. Therefore other drugs that have intoxicating effects or impair judgement are analogous reasoning, prohibited. Well thats why I had to expalin it that way. Maybe my usage of words may have offended you and others. Sorry, I apologise but I think it is a valid qn. What I understand of Fiqh as a branch of shariah is a science where insight, understanding and intelligence is used. Yani technically speaking is the product of Ijtihad where reason ,systemic intellectual search, insights in analysis, interpretations and development of judgement based on specific sourced and following strict procedures. Thus it is through reason and logic ,Humans search and understand the rulings and Hikmah Allah had made some things lawful and others prohibitted to us. Here are some hadiths on this matter. A number of narrators state that Hadrat Umar (Ra) reports from the Prophet of Allah SAW to have said: "Allah Almighty is not ashamed of telling the truth that they should not approach their women through their anus." Majma uz zawaid, Tabrani Tirmidhi transmits from Hadrat Ibn Abbas (may Allah be pleased with with him) that the Prophet of Allah (SAW) said: Allah Almighty will not see towards one with eyes of mercy who approaches woman or man by her or his anus.†In his last address at Madinah before his final departure the Prophet of Allah (SAW) according to Abu Hurairah and Ibn Abbas said: “ Whoever approaches a woman or man or boy by his anus will be raised on the Day of judgement in a state that he will be emitting such a foul smell that will send people to utter disgust, till he is sent to hell; Allah will destroy all his good deeds. Morever, he will be put in a bier of fire and nails will be driven into his body.†Musnad Harith bin Abi Osama. Hadrat Abu Hurairah explains that this is the torment for one who dies unrepented. Allah Almighty says in unequivocal words: “….Ye may approach them as ordained for you by Allah….†2;222 Source: The prophetic way of treatment ,By Badr Azimabadi I would like to add that verse 2:222 refered to the conduct towards women with Haidh. Those words can also apply to any muslim couple. As we as Muslims must do what He ordains.

Brother Nur Thank you for contributing and sharing the wisdom sister Og girl posted. WORDS OF WISDOM. “If you want a friend, Allah is sufficient.†Yes, if He is a friend, everything is a friend. “If you want a companion, the Quran is sufficient.†For sure, in your imagination, you can meet with the Prophets and Angels in it, watch them, and become acquainted with them. “If you want possessions, contentment is sufficient.†Yes, one who is content is economical, and one who is economical is blessed with plenty. “If you want an enemy, the evil-commanding soul is sufficient.†Indeed, someone who admires himself finds disasters and falls into difficulties, while one who does not fancy himself finds happiness and attracts Divine mercy. “If you want advice, death is sufficient.†Yes, he who thinks of death is saved from loving the world, and works seriously for his life in the Hereafter.

25 ways of getting Close to Allah 1. Start off each day with 'adhkaar al-istiyqaadh' (waking up Supplications), thanking Allah for waking up in good shape. 2. Put Allah first in your life. 3. Broaden your horizons - learn 5 new verses from the Qur’an every day, travel to pray far in the mosque to brighten your day, take up a booklet having supplications and read them. 4. Pray Salaat Al-dhuhaa (after sunrise). 5. If someone says something mean ;to you, just shrug it off and dismiss it in a friendly, laidback manner, and pray that Allah shall forgive them. 6. When you get angry, remember Allah, and how short and worthless life is to waste in being Angry. 7. Remember that you can never have too many friends, but you can have few quality friends that help you fulfil the purpose of your creation (i.e. live for Allah). 8. When you're happy, try to share your happiness with others. Thank Allah for that, and pray its continuation. 9. When something bad or embarrassing happens to you, just think hat it could always be worse, remember the reward of patience, and thank Allah that it's not worse than it is. 10. Do something extra of goodness once in a while, like feeding a poor person, or caressing an orphan's head. 11. Never stop believing that you can win Allah's love and thus work For it. Then you can win the love of Allah's slaves. 12. Spend some time thinking of Allah's amazing creation. 13. Always love those who love Allah unconditionally. This way you will ensure that you live for Him, love for Him, and hate for Him(those who are enemies of Him). 14. Find the righteous ways to express yourself, and if you think that what you are about to say shall cause no benefit, maintain silence (this is tough!!). 15. Every now and then, give yourself a break. Play sports, give time to your family, friends, but always remember Allah and watch that He is watching you. 16. Pray for blessing to come to those being lost, and pray to Allah to guide them to the right path. 17. Hug your parents, kiss their hands and heads and always obey but stop at Allah's orders. 18. Smile to everyone, for your smile makes a big difference to him or her and you are rewarded. 19. Forgive, forget and smile. 20. Tears are not for women only... tears are for all human beings with feelings remaining in them. Don't restrain your tears when remembering Allah. 21. When people criticize your actions and effort, revise your actions and see if they please Allah or no. If they do; then ignore and remember how the Prophet (SAAW) and the Sahaba were criticized, made fun of and even physically harmed, so have patience. 22. Read the Quran daily and try to have a schedule for completing it as much as you could. As you open the Quran daily, read with observing not just passing your eyes through the words 23. Don't let popularity go to your head, for it never lasts and you may lose from it more than gain. 24. Never look down on anybody, for, to Allah, they may be better than you. 25. Send this to all brothers and sisters with the intention of having a healthy society living for Allah and pray. "Invite all to the way of thy Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and consult with them in ways that are best and most gracious." (Al Qur'an, 16:125)

Ameenah, naam that is the approach to be taken. Its unfortunate that the social aspect of our religion is not properly upholded. It is widely known the fact that it is Haram in Islam. Makes me wonder is it rebellion or people acting ignorant? Anyway whatever the excuse made up by mankind this is what Allah dictates us. It is not for a beleiver, man or woman, when Allah and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allah and His messenger, he has indeed strayed in a plain error. 33-Al AZHAB:36 Apart from that Allah has dedicated a whole surah on womens affairs- Suratil Al Nisa.I would advice the ladies concerned to read more on their rights and their resposibilities which come with their relationships. And there are alot of books dealing with women affairs available at the local stores. Then goes madame general who started the thread... Rendezvous, I deny your accusation. Usinione. Qac, it is true that feacal incontinence occurs after such act.And there is a risk of infections and for women of childbearing age they may face difficulties at birth.

Bro Nur As for Saudia and some other Arab nations it is self inflicted as the govts do not allow their female population to get married to men with different passports. I would advice Sister Hadijah if that was her name to start a single Somali Muslim assos . Cant lie to you but I receive alot of spam from single chrisitan org,trying to hook up single people in the area. wouldnt be a bad idea to educate the youth in Islam, teach them basic skills, get them off Mirax, give them productive courses good enough to get them back to Uni ,Somali youth with sound Islamic knowledge and practise in their lives. Its not that I am against Polygamy, I am all for it. But as there are still eligible bachelors around I dont see the reason why I should get into such a relationship. According to a hadith its advisable if to marry to marry an unmarried(virgin) thats what I have in mind so far.

Originally posted by Xafsa: That could only be used if the accused is willing to repent....you can't force punishment. Very true. That you for correcting me. What makes parents kill their children? Guilt , lack of being proper parents entrusting true muslim qualities?

Proper sharia will be 100 floggings. And for the mother well she heading for execution - a life for a life.

Silly sister Refering to the qn on anal intimacy. Allah has denounced physical relations between men - homosexuality and a hadith stipulates the automatic divorce if anal intimacy has occured among a married couple. There is logic behind this matter.If a husband does such an act to his wife the act is the same as for a homosexual as the point of entrance is the same(sodomy).Personally, this is why I think it is haram. As Allah created a female for a male and not man for man. So if the act is legalised that is, if applied to the wife that means the ruling on homosexuality will be flawed because the action is still the same. Allah knows better. And for the husband he should learn to be contented with the blessing of having a wife. "Your wives are tillage to you, so go in to your tillage as you will, and send (ahead something) for your souls; and fear Allah and know that you will (one day) meet Him, and give glad tidings to the Believers. " Quraan 2:223 And if his intent is to divorce his wife then he should do it respectfully.

Positive thanks for posting such qn hope the knowledgable can answer . This is what Ibn Kathirs translation of the Quran deduced on the qn of the Ruh and Nafs.Refering to the Verse Al Israa mentioned earlier. The Ruh and the Nafs As-Suhayili mentioned the dispute among the scholars over whether the Ruh is the same as the Nafs, or something different. He stated that it is light and soft, like air, flowing through the body like water through the veins of a tree. He states that the Ruh which the angel breathes into the fetus is the Nafs, provided that it joins the body and acquires certain qualities because of it, whether good or bad. So then it is either a soul in (complete) rest and satisfaction (89:27) or inclined to evil (12:53), just as water is the life of the tree, then by mixing with it, it produces something else, so that if it mixes with grapes and the grapes are then squeezed, it becomes juice or wine. Then it is no longer called water, except in a metaphorical sense. Thus we should understand the connection between Nafs and Ruh; the Ruh is not called Nafs except when it joins the body and is affected by it. So in conclusion we may say: the Ruh is the origin and essence, and the Nafs consists of the Ruh and its connection to the body. So they are the same in one sense but not in another. This is a good explanation, and Allah knows best. I say: people speak about the essence of the Ruh and its rulings, and many books have been written on this topic. One of the best of those who spoke of this was Al-Hafiz Ibn Mandah in a book which we have heard about the Ruh. Literally speaking a divine holy spirit was also a title of Angel Jibrel- Ruh al Quds Abu Dawud recorded this Hadith in his Sunan as did At-Tirmidhi who graded it Hasan Sahih. Further, Ibn Hibban recorded in his Sahih that Ibn Mas`ud said that the Prophet said, «إÙنَّ رÙوحَ الْقÙدÙس٠نَÙÙŽØ«ÙŽ ÙÙÙŠ رÙوعÙÙŠ أَنَّه٠لَنْ تَمÙوتَ Ù†ÙŽÙْسٌ حَتَّى تَسْتَكْمÙÙ„ÙŽ رÙزْقَهَا وَأَجَلَهَا، ÙَاتَّقÙوا اللهَ وَأَجْمÙÙ„Ùوا ÙÙÙŠ الطَّلَب» (Ruh Al-Qudus informed me that no soul shall die until it finishes its set provisions and term limit. Therefore, have Taqwa of Allah and seek your sustenance in the most suitable way.) you can read more on Ibn Kathirs translation of the Quran through www.tafsir.com

Silly sister May Allah ease the sufferings and provide u with the best of solutions. Regarding divorce I have a couple of questions. If it was a normal divorce i.e the man divorces the woman - she has to stay for Iddat (40 days ) period in her husbands household. And if she is pregnant the divorce is annuled untill she gives birth to the child and during that period she is still in her husbands household and he maintains her. Now my qn is when a woman asks for her divorce and is granted. Does she still have 2 stay in Iddat? And if she knows she is pregnant and the husband knows and she insist on divorce what happens? Is she granted the wish? You have to remember that the child is theirs?

Thank you Yasmine for the explaination.

Haha how obvious, 2 dalmations.As for the others there, would have told them 2 xishood.

lool

Raula hiyo joke kali.The farmer was very observant Na hako kasupuu loooo - Ni wewe tu nataka . thanks for the links sijasikia accent hizo za kiswa longiiii.

well, that means walking over 2 the Tv everytime he thinks of flicking through the channels. and thats an ordeal.