Originally posted by NGONGE: I wonder how many of the people here would cope with someone that suffers from Tourette's Syndrome? Some of us maybe silent readers but calling people names and especially connecting it to tourette syndrome, isnt manly at all. Plain uncalled for. And yes, I am aware of the disease, a neurological disease where people have involuntary tics which can affect their whole body though they can lead productive lives. To refresh your memory Gilles de la Tourette syndrome

Just wanted to add, according to my Islamic calender the 15th of Shabaan will fall on a Monday. So wish you all in advance a blessed day.

Apology accepted my brother. And I happen to be a sister. Tell me any muslim country that enforce the shariah and have being so far succesfull and people being happy with it? So far there is no such country (I also commented on that if you read my post). But of the few countries where the Islamic courts are obligatory, Malaysia has one of the best systems in action. if that khadi would use the modern technology (DNA,Finger prints) You have a point there. Modern technology could be used to solve criminal cases, because of the lack of 4 witnesses are lot of cases are left to rot. But you must also remember modern technology only show you the how, they need to know the source why it happened and sometimes even evidence is tampered with. Anyway,if the case is solved or not we know as Muslims that the person may run from justice on earth but he will face His Lord Inshallah. So patience should be called for. What could be done Shura(council with an agreement)held then maybe some laws maybe changed that is improvising with new technology but still Adil (Justice) should be the only reason for such changes. Wonder when scholars on Islamic jurispundence will do so? And which laws or techniques to be changed another tricky area. What is important though is to know our religion, protect our family, practise our beleifs and try to create a sound community, which is tolerant to others beleif. Minor disagreements can be easily solved if we are all on the same level. So knowledge is the answer.(Important so we have less Rushdies and Irshads) Allah knows better.

Originally posted by ALexus.: Warrior of Light, already has a crush on you. Be careful, rumour has it that she is a heartbreaker. Alexus, glad to see your still here, mind providing the source of such misleading info? There is nothing wrong welcoming a newbie. Originally posted by Nakupenda piya My name is Naku Penda Piya (don't ask what it means - I've no clue.) Nakupenda pia(Correct spelling in swahili)do you really want to know the meaning of your name? Send me a PM my sis.

Welcome aboard.

As they say it takes a man to breed a man. Mashallah.

Seems like its the order of the day people picking on others,calling names....etcetera where is the notion of fraternity? :mad: :rolleyes:

I would go for black and white>> shows the facts with colour >> may mean that u added some interesting statements or white lies?? Well thats what I think when relating it to morality. Maybe vice versa. :confused: Cons waiting for the answer.

Originally posted by Socod_badne: Sharia Law is outdated, unfair (chop the hands of one who steals few gallons of water but give manicures to rulers who steals nations entire wealth), and accessory to Islamic living. All one needs to follow the path of Allah is the quran and the teachings of the prophet (scw). Since much of the Sharia law (like 60%) is based on Hadiths, it is not compulsary for muslims to follow it. Further, it is set of laws based on the INTERPRETATION by men of their time and NOT the words of God (most of it). Even those parts that are from the Quran are open to interpretation. Remember there is no single voice for muslims, there is no equivalent of Vatican or the Pope. There are somethings which can never change with Sharia Law,for example the Quranic decrees. Open any book on Islamic jurisdiction they are the same. The so called Muslim nations though I prefer calling them Arab/middle eastern nations dont follow the shariah instead follow what they desire.Because if they did,Haram would have been Haram to all, equality would have prevailed. You mentioned an example of stealing the shariah court will first listen to the case. See if the crime was hideous as claimed and above the set 'fixed monetary amount (the minimum wage) ' then the sentencing.The Logic of this? The person who has abundance but yet cannot control his desire to steal from another is the one punished. The one who steals under necessity is given a minor punishment and helped to become an able person in the society. We may argue on this fact, where in the world can this person be helped, unfortunately there is no niche which follows the shariah but if it existed. That man would have been a tax payer by the next fiscial year, an able man. The unfortunate thing is that you find those with no power or influence having their hands chopped while the powerful get away with it. The fault isnt with the LAW. Nay, but with the people who are implementing it. Does the law need to be changed No. So many people have been jailed for theft and looting and served time and yet after release they return to their old ways and steal?? Theft is a behavioural disorder which needs to be addressed. We may not have a Pope but if look back in Islamic history. Qadi- rulers of the Courts were self autonomous they ruled by the book, they had the power to correct the leaders.As they had the knowledge and they feared Allah. They knew that the oath they took and whatever decree they make against a soul they will be held answerable to Allah. The Islamic govt never interfered unless a person claimed unfairness.Thats when the case will be re-evaluated by the ruler of the state. And in ruling people you have to appreciate their culture.So yes,in passing judgement the persons culture, age, beleif will be kept into consideration. The problem we are facing is we lack people knowledgable in Islamic Jurispundence and the correct work ethics. If they will work following shariah, by Allah we shall have no problem. But if they take to diviant behaviours e.g bribery and favours then we are in trouble. The second problem we have is Muslims dont even know their basic rights nor religious obligations. So if you dont know what your entitled to how can you ask for your right??? And it's total BS to say that Sharia Law, when instituted, is not obligatory. While that technically is true, the reality is different. We, muslims and somalis, know very well of the public and community pressure that mold and guide how we behave towards each other. This is important part of our way of life. No one likes to be seen as community outcast, especially when it comes to religion. If a wife refuses to go to Sharia Law court to settle a marriage problem, what will her community think of her? I can bet my life on it that she will be singled out as weak muslim or a bad muslim. Then what becomes of her? Intent on matters of religion are between Allah and his servant, thus the person will have to make up their mind. Is it for the glitters of this world or the afterlife? A case which has been conclusive in the shariah law can still be readdressed if the person beleives it wasnt fair. And also family intervention is allowed as the family know better the condition of the person questioned. Mercy can be shown. Those who are favourable can help the weak. If I am to stipulate an example. A grandfather is about to die , he knows that one of his grand daughters is in need of fiancial assistance and according to the shariah what she will inherit not be of help. He can give one third of his property to her as a gift before his death and then whatever remains in his property he writes up and concludes his will. Well I dont see why people are making a fuss of this what people should do is read on Islamic Shariah be accustomed to it. (Instead of relying on he said she said.) And especially that the arbitration were concerning the family laws, which are noble. May Allah make us more knowledgable of our deen.

^^^Thats where you wrong, you see the doctor is male(Im female ) and he failed to ask the critical question, are u the MUM?.

Doctor could have been sued for inappropriate behaviour,

^^^They take him to the nearest hospital or dispensary. Have his vitals checked an ECG done for basics.

Mashallah, good changes. Hope it will not end with him but effect the whole establishment.

Wa iyakii. Its our duty to remind each other and do good. The one and the only, According to the discipline of dressing,Men are supposed to have their trousers above their ankle whereas women have their ankles covered. It is frown upon a man having his garments trailing or touching the floor but its advisable for a womans dress to touch the floor.

I am glad they are finding peace in Islam. Allah Akbar.

Viking, give them time they are changing. Inshallah we may see better days.

Asalaam aleykum, Witr prayer is a prayer which the Prophet SAW prayed before he retired to sleep. It is said he prayed it everyday was part of his daily routine. And because of these scholars have said it should be prayed every day. The witr prayer is prayed after Isha and it consistes of 3 rakat. The difference it has with other prayers is after reciting suratil Fatiha and a surah in the 3rd rakaat, you will then say Allahu Akbar and raise the hands till the ears. Fold the hands after this and read the Dua-e-Qunoot softly to oneself. Please check the dua from any source. It starts like this Allahumma Ina nastainuka wanastaghfiruka wanuminu bika wanatawakalu ………… Then after that you finish your prayer as usual.Yani you pray like Mghrib prayer. After saying the salaam,it is highly recommended to say these words : Subhanah l’malikul Qudus. 3 times And Rabuna warabul malaiykati waruhi once . The dua e qunoot is wajib in witr. If you don’t know it by heart you can recite this dua in its place, Rabanah atina fi dunya hasana wa fil akhirat hasanah wakinadhab ar Nar. Or its allowed to say Ya Rabbi thrice. During the month of Ramadhaan the Witr prayer is read with the jamaat after the Taraweeh prayers. Hope this helps. Fiamanillah Wol

Jazkhallah kheir for sharing tales of these honourable Muslims. Especially the trials and tribulations they went through is unmeasurable. It makes me feel ashamed. May Allah give us patience in what little we go through in our times and give us a solid heart. Amin

A MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY REFLECTION ON AMERICAN DREAMS, VALUES, AND WAY OF LIFE By Seán Sheehan This week we celebrate the life and work of Martin Luther King, Jr. It's a week that would have seen the civil rights hero celebrate his 76th birthday. It's also one of the few holiday weekends that Madison Avenue has yet to brazenly co-opt. Now while I can't say I'd be too surprised to see an ad for a 'King Day Blowout sale: white Hummers, black Hummers, same low price,' I do find it appropriate that ad shills seem to be steering clear of one of the 20th century's great opponents of extreme materialism. "Now hold on," you might be saying, "I thought Dr. King stood up to racial inequality and military aggression?" You'd be right, of course, but Dr. King actually spoke of three intertwined problems -- racism, militarism, and materialism -- that needed to be overcome if his beloved United States was to fulfill the promise of the American Dream. The promise of the original American Dream was rooted in core American values such as freedom, security, justice, and opportunity. It held that everyone should have access to pursue a good life. Unfortunately, in the second half of the twentieth century these central values began to be corrupted and replaced by more materialistic priorities. Dr. King saw this corruption, recognized the disconnect between "enough for all" and "excess for some," and spoke out. In his 1967 "Beyond Vietnam" speech, King attested: "I am convinced that if we are to get on the right side of the world revolution, we as a nation must undergo a radical revolution of values. We must rapidly begin the shift from a thing-oriented society to a person-oriented society. When machines and computers, profit motives and property rights are considered more important than people, the giant triplets of racism, materialism, and militarism are incapable of being conquered." This speech was not unique. Others referred to "the triple evils of racism, extreme materialism, and militarism." Interestingly, he also sometimes spoke of "poverty, racism, and militarism" in the same way. King's interchangeable use of "materialism" and "poverty" is telling -- he clearly understood that we live in a world of finite natural resources and he obviously supported Gandhi's principle that there is "enough for everyone's need but not for everyone's greed." Were King alive to celebrate his 75th birthday, one can imagine that he might tout the findings of researchers at the University of British Columbia that we would need the resources of four additional planets for everyone on earth to live the lifestyle of the average North American. OUR VALUES OR OUR STUFF? King recognized that the increasingly materialistic version of the American Dream was growing incompatible with such the original dream's core values. The conflict was particularly pronounced when citizens in developing countries aspired toward these American values only to have U.S. political and corporate leaders thwart their aspirations out of fear that it would raise the cost of cheap consumer imports. King saw this as a wholesale betrayal of the core values upon which our nation was founded. He once lamented: "It is a sad fact that, because of comfort, complacency, a morbid fear of communism, and our proneness to adjust to injustice, the Western nations that initiated so much of the revolutionary spirit of the modern world have now become the arch anti-revolutionaries." Unfortunately, the change King observed in the 1960s has only become more entrenched in subsequent decades. At the 1992 Earth Summit in Rio de Janeiro, the first President Bush staunchly defended and defined America by its "more is better" obsession when he declared to the world: "The American way of life is not negotiable." WHAT WE DO MATTERS While he tackled issues of overwhelming proportion, Dr. King's legacy is all about empowerment. Much of his call to action simply involves reminding people how powerful we really are, both as citizens and as consumers. When overcoming racism, materialism, and militarism seems hopelessly idealistic, King reminds us that we are citizens of the United States, and that "America, the richest and most powerful nation in the world, can well lead the way in this revolution of values." When Madison Avenue tells us we're too small to make a difference, King reminds us that individual Americans together, even financially poor black Americans, have a tremendous amount of consumer power. In his "I've Been to the Mountaintop" speech, King calls, "[Let us] Always anchor our external direct action with the power of economic withdrawal. Now, we are poor people, individually, we are poor when you compare us with white society in America. We are poor. Never stop and forget that collectively, that means all of us together, collectively we are richer than all the nations in the world, with the exception of nine." My organization, the Center for a New American Dream, firmly agrees with Dr. King's assessment that what we do matters. We work to pool citizen power through our Step by Step program and consumer power through our Conscious Consumer and Institutional Procurement programs. Together we push for products that have good value, are safe for the environment, and promote the well-being of the people at the other end of the production line. THE DREAM LIVES ON It goes without saying that Dr. King's messages are entirely relevant four decades later. The good news is that many world leaders are seizing upon his teachings and working to make a difference. For example, President Lula of Brazil reiterated King's connections in a speech to the United Nations this past September, stating: "Peace, security, development, and social justice are indivisible." Even the president of the World Bank, James Wolfensohn, echoes an understanding of King when he states: 'We have a situation where 20% of the world's population have 80% of the wealth, and the other 80% has just 20%. If that's a situation that leads to instability, then we are saying that that instability will convey itself through migration, through wars within countries and through crime and terrorism.' More and more leaders are recognizing the conflict between core values and a 'more is better' way of life and they're asking which is more important, what really matters. As Wolfensohn's quote demonstrates, some leaders are realizing that 'more is better' does not provide happiness or security, its not sustainable and, for most of the world, it will never be attainable. We need a new dream. We need a return to our core values. source

Salaam, Pretty Here is a link which covers marriage and provides links pertaining to the matters of sexuality in Islam love and marriage Hope will be of help. Fiamanillah

I stumbled across this article and thought it maybe of help. As most of the responsibility rests on the mans shoulder. Do Muslim Husbands Make the Grade? When we seek out knowledge about marriage we see that the Qur'an and Sunnah have assigned tremendous importance to the marriage contract and have distinguished it above all other contracts. Indeed the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "When a man marries, he has completed half of his religion and he needs only to fear Allah to complete the other half." (Mishkat) In the Qur'an, Allah says, "And how could you take it (back) while you have gone in unto each other, and they have taken from you a firm and strong covenant?" [4:81] Purpose of Marriage Therefore, marriage must be entered into whole-heartedly and taken very seriously by each of the two partners, and both of them must be committed to making their marriage a success. A marriage is truly successful and prosperous only when it is mutually rewarding. Allah suggests that both partners come together to cover, protect and beautify each other in the same way that a garment covers, protects and beautifies the one who wears it. [2:187] Through this metaphor, we understand that when two people get married, they cease to consider themselves individuals but instead as a couple - each person benefiting by the other equally. In order to flourish, there can be no hint of selfishness or refusal to compromise between them. There must be an agreement between the two partners that each of them will work together to solve whatever problems arise. They will assist one another and sacrifice in order to gain mutual happiness, pleasure and peace. This is the purpose and goal of marriage according to the Shari'ah. As the Lord of the Heavens and Earth has said, "He it is who has created you from a single person and [then] He has created from him his wife, in order that he might enjoy the pleasure of living with her." [7:189] Allah has designated specific roles for both partners. Only when these rights are observed and these obligations fulfilled, can tranquility descend upon the couple and security surround them in their certain success. If either of the two partners, out of ignorance or intention refuses to fulfill his or her duties and thereby does not honor the rights of the other, the household becomes a living Hell. Unfortunately, this is a common situation today. Let us focus now on the responsibilities and desirable characteristics of a Muslim husband. Many brothers have never asked themselves: "What are the rights of a wife upon her husband?", "What is my responsibility toward her?", "What do I owe her?" Never asking these questions, or answering them with ignorance, causes many problems in Muslim households. What are the characteristics every man should possess in order to be a good husband to his wife? The example of the Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, is the ideal model. Let us look specifically at these characteristics and how we may achieve them in our lives. Starting Point First of all let us understand that Islam is a complete way of life which offers guidance for mankind in all matters. Allah is the All-Knowing the All-Wise and He has taken account of everything which concerns us. He has included the solution to all of our problems in His Shari'ah. Nothing has been overlooked. The characteristics of a Muslim husband and the way to acquire them have been made clearer and easier to accomplish through the example of Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam. Allah says, "Indeed you have in the messenger of Allah a most excellent example of conduct for him who looks forward to the meeting with Allah and the Last Day and remembers Allah much." [33:21] Unfortunately many brothers interpret this in a limited way - they focus on what we know of the dress and physical attributes of the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, and his Sahaba. There is no question that the best example of a husband and father is the Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam. Why is it, then, that so many of us are so far from his example in this area? Could it be that other examples around us influence our behavior more? Do we believe that our financial contribution should represent our dedication to our families? Or have we deliberately ignored the model Allah has provided us. Allah has taught us that if we want to achieve Allah's pleasure in all spheres of life, the best example for us is His Messenger, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam. Indeed, the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, himself has informed us that the excellence of his example encompasses and includes everything, especially his behavior toward his wives. He, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "The best of you are those who are best toward their wives and I am the best of you toward my wives." (Tirmithi) Piety & Fear of Allah This subject is not new. When Ata' and Ubaydullah ibn Umayr once asked Aisha about the nature of Prophet Muhammad' s behavior with her: "Aisha started to weep and said, 'One night he stood up [intending to offer the night prayer] and said, 'O Aisha, let me be alone so that I may worship my Lord.' He stood up, purified himself and continued to pray and weep until the ground became wet. Bilal came and made the adhan. When he saw the Prophet crying, he said, 'O Messenger of Allah [why do] you cry, when Allah has forgiven your past and future sins?' Prophet Mohammed replied, '[Then, for that] should I not be a thankful slave?'" (Ibn Hibban) This is one example that demonstrates the intensity of our Prophet's devotion to his Lord - his extreme piety and tremendous fear of Allah. Any man, who wishes to emulate him, should start by emulating his taqwa (piety). For it is taqwa of the heart which serves as a foundation for good deeds, manners and morals and makes the observance of the rights of others easy. If a man really and truly wants to be a good husband to his wife, he must also possess fear of Allah. If a man has the fear of Allah, and it is this fear that most influences his relationship and his dealings with his wife, he fears what Allah may do to him if he harms her or treats her in a way that is unjust and therefore will never mistreat her in any way - physically or verbally. He knows that he has to meet Allah and answer for all that he has said and done. Indeed this is why Hasan ibn Ali said when asked, "'O Hasan I have a daughter. To whom do you think I should marry her?' Hasan said, 'Marry her to [a man] who [fears Allah]; for if he [truly fears Allah] and if he loves her he will honor her and [even] if he doesn't love her, he will never oppress or abuse her [because he fears Allah].'" Education Among the most important rights a woman has is her right to be educated about her religion. This responsibility is incumbent upon her husband. Therefore, one of the most desirable characteristics of a Muslim husband is that he himself is knowledgeable about Islam and teaches his wife whatever he knows. Why would any Muslim husband want to deny his wife this right? Is it not his wife who will guide his children as they grow? Isn't she the one who teaches them about haram and halal? Isn't she the one to see that they learn to pray and fast? Isn't she the one who must protect her husband's place and belongings in his absence according to Islamic guidelines? If her knowledge about the deen is limited, the entire family will suffer. Many men seek to shelter their wives from outside influences by forbidding them to participate in outside activities. Many men may fear that if their wife's Imaan becomes stronger, she will object to his behavior or certain weaknesses in his character. These are reasons that should compel us to participate in her Islamic education, so as she learns, so will we. Couples can discuss topics that concern them and agree on how they will integrate new information into their family's routine. With this type of cooperation, there is less room for misunderstandings, and less opportunity for one Muslim to feel superior to another within the household. This practice will draw the family members closer to each other and, more importantly, closer to Allah. "O you who believe! Protect yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones, over which are [appointed] angels stern and severe, who do not hesitate to fulfill the commandments of Allah [to inflict punishment upon the people of Hell] but [rather] they do [precisely] what they have been commanded [to do]!" [66:6] We can see that taking an active role in our family's Islamic education protects our families from the fire of Hell. We must strive to set the best example possible for our children, wives and brothers in Islam. It is only by taking personal responsibility, that we can improve the current state of the Ummah. We are creating Muslim communities where our children and grandchildren and brothers and sisters in Islam will find themselves flourishing or deteriorating in. We must ensure that they have the means to flourish by improving our own knowledge of Islam and constantly sharing it with our families. We need not look far to see members of our Ummah who have failed to keep Islam as the central focus in their homes. Let us move forward by each of us looking at ourselves and asking Allah to help us to achieve this goal. If we fail to reach this goal, the consequences in the Hereafter are even more grave, especially for the husband. As the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, said, "Each one of you is a shepherd and every shepherd will be asked about his flock... and the man will be asked about his family." (Bukhari and Muslim) When the Day of Judgment comes, will our reasons for not educating our families be sufficient for Allah? Will we be able to offer any excuse after Allah and His Messenger have made it clear that educating our wives is a duty enjoined upon him that he will be asked about? Brothers, do your wives read the Qur'an, Hadeeth and Seerah of Prophet Mohammed, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam? Do they understand their meanings? Do they practice what they have learned? It is our obligation to make certain that our wives have the opportunity and means to continuously increase their knowledge. To do so will not only please Allah but will improve the relations of everyone in our homes, our Ummah, and inshaAllah the societies in which we live. Presentation is key Another responsibility of the Muslim husband is to assist his wife in obeying the commands of Allah. If she should transgress the limits of Allah, then it becomes his duty to advise her, admonish her and actually physically prevent her from doing so. However, it is the right of the wife that this admonishment be coupled with kindness and mercy. As Allah says, "And [it was] by the Mercy of Allah, [that] you dealt gently with them. And had you been severe and harsh-hearted, they would have broken away from about you; so overlook their faults, ask that [Allah's] forgiveness be granted to them and consult with them in [the] affairs of the moment." [3:159] Therefore, if a husband is over-bearing and insisting, his wife's behavior will most likely not be corrected. She may even persist in her disobedience, returning his cruelty. Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, advised us to "treat women kindly. [The] woman has been created from a rib [which is curved]. The most crooked part of the rib is the uppermost part. If you were to try [to force] it straight you will [certainly] break it and if you leave it as it is, it will remain curved. So [admonish] women kindly." (Bukhari and Muslim) So when a husband offers advise, or reminds or admonishes his wife, he must take this hadeeth into consideration and exercise his authority in a gentle manner in order to bring about the desired result. A wife is an Advisor The nature of marriage is one of a continuous growing relationship. Every person has likes and dislikes and wants to feel his or her opinion matters. Also, because a husband and wife spend many hours, days and years together, InshaAllah, they get to know each other's strengths and weaknesses very well. It is for this reason that a wife can be the best advisor for her husband. Also, sometimes we are so involved in other aspects of a situation that we find it hard to find a suitable solution. The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, used to discuss certain matters with his wives and ask for their advice. An example of this happened shortly after the treaty of Hudaybeyah was signed, Many of the Prophet's companions were displeased with the treaty and the great number of compromises it contained. So, when the Prophet ordered the companions to shave their heads, slaughter their animals and prepare to return to Madinah, instead of complying as they had always done in the past, the companions remained in their places. This greatly disturbed the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, for his companions had never disobeyed him in this manner before. He, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, went to Umm Salamah and asked her for advice. She told him, "You are the Messenger of Allah. Shave your head and slaughter your animal and the people will do as you have done." So the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, had his head shaved and slaughtered his animal and the people followed him. Because a wife usually knows her husband better than anyone else, it is naturally her place to offer him constructive criticism and it is her husband's duty to consider it. Many men would not like to hear criticism from their wives, but, many times she is the best one to offer an accurate assessment of his character and behavior. We should realize that none of us is perfect, and that Allah allowed us this safe relationship where we can offer help to one another and use every opportunity available to improve ourselves and the image we present as a model for our families, friends and others. As Umar ibnul Khattab once said, "May Allah have Mercy upon the one who points out my shortcomings." Graceful Helper Isn't that women's work? That is the opinion that many of us have. It is true that most of the time, women care for the house and children. But, this does not mean that it should be their responsibility alone. The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, never enjoyed coming home to relax in leisure after a hard day at work. His work did not end with his coming home; instead, a new order of engagements and activities commenced. Aisha was once asked, "How was the Prophet's conduct in his home?" She said, "He was like one of you at home, yet he was most lenient and most generous. His spirits were high at all times, [he] smiled and even joined [us] in laughter at times. He was ready to give a helping hand to his wives in the ordinary work of the house, [he] sew[ed] his own clothes [and] mend[ed] his own shoes. In general, he helped in whatever work his wives did. However, when the call to prayer was pronounced, he dropped everything and hurried to the masjid." (Tabaqat of Ibn Sad) So the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, showed us that we should deal with our wives with consideration for their sensitive and delicate nature in all things. The same kind and gentle manner prescribed for correcting her should also exist with what we view as her work. We know about the Prophet's opinion that his work did not end at the doorway to his home. He took the initiative to do whatever needed to be done. This idea is very important today. Many of us do not realize the amount of effort that goes into keeping the house clean, the children cared for and the meals prepared. Brothers just try to imagine what your lives would be like if for some reason you had to do all of this by yourself, in addition to a job outside the home. It would seem impossible. It helps to show your wife that you appreciate her efforts. You may tell her that you appreciate her, but do you show her? When was the last time you did the laundry, ran the vacuum, changed a diaper, provided a home-cooked meal for your family, or gave your wife a day off (while you completed her chores for that day)? This may seem strange to you, but I guarantee that if you did this at least once a month, your relationship with your wife will become even better. Showing the initiative to help your wife, and lessen her burden will mean so much more to her than the effort you put forth. Although active participation in the housework and the care of the children was never a problem for the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, it seems to be inconceivable to many modern men. They feel that housework is beneath them and that if they were to stoop to that level, their peers would see them as weak - perhaps controlled by their wives. The reality is that Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, was the ruler of Madinah, Commanding General of the Muslim military, the Imam of the Muslims, their Grand Mufti and Allah's Khaleel and His Chosen Messenger as well as the head of a number of households. Yet all of this status and rank did not detract from his humility or cause him to think that household chores were beneath him. Ask yourself which of the men in your Muslim community have been happily married for twenty or more years? We cannot assume that merely being twenty years together means they are both happy. Find a man who you know to be happy and family-oriented and who speaks highly of his wife. Go and ask him what his wife appreciates most about him. Here you will find your answer. More than likely, this man cares more about the happiness of his family than the opinions of the men around him. Healthy Body, Healthy Mind Doesn't it feel good when you play your favorite sport? You get to run and use your body and make yourself tired. Isn't this better than feeling tired from worrying or working too hard? Allah has directed us to take care of our bodies, not only men but women also. Aisha reported, "I raced with the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, and beat him in the race. Later, after I had put on some weight, we raced again. This time he was the winner. At that time he said to me, "This one cancels that one." (Abu Dawud) On another occasion Aisha said, "By Allah, I saw the Messenger of Allah standing at the door of my house, while the Abyssinians were displaying their skill with spears in the courtyard of the Prophet's masjid. He concealed me with his cloth so that I could see their play and he stood there for me until I [became tired and] left. So, be understanding of the young woman who is eager for entertainment." (Muslim) Here we can see that it was not the intention of Allah to keep a woman in her house, hidden from any temptation to participate in physical exercise. In fact, it is one of the duties and responsibilities of the Muslim husband to spend quality time with his wife and to allow her to engage in permissible forms of recreation. It is really not right for a husband to go out to play a game while his wife remains tucked away in the house with no one to talk to except a three-year-old. Many brothers feel that the Islamic regulations concerning hijab forbid a woman to leave the house for recreation, but the above evidences seem to refute this position. In fact, when a woman wears hijab, she is recognized as a Muslim woman and thus protected from being molested. And, the society is protected from the fitnah that would occur if she were not properly clothed. Husbands have to realize that women need exercise, just as much, if not more than they do. Men are often complaining about their wives' weight, but as soon as a wife asks their husband to take her out for a walk so that she might lose some weight he says, "No, your place is in the home!" A Muslim husband must take his wife out on a regular basis for recreation. Some permissible types are as follows: Horseback riding, a trip to a country farm or park, a zoo, a museum, picnic (in a secluded place), a scenic drive, fishing, or boating. These are just a few of the many things that the Shari'ah has either encouraged or permitted. In all circumstances the woman should wear the proper hijab and seclusion should be sought. Even if others are around the woman, she may still enjoy herself within limits. May Allah guide the Muslim husbands and allow them to see the importance of this matter. On Loan from Allah We know that everything we possess is on loan from Allah. He enables us to earn money through our work in this world. We do our best to use that money to provide for our families in the best way possible. The Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wasallam, said, "When a person spends upon his family, hoping for reward from Allah, then that spending is counted (in his record of good deeds) as a charity." (Bukhari and Muslim) Allah says, "Let the man of means spend according to his means, [as for] the man whose resources arc limited, let him spend according to what Allah has given him." [65:7] Truth or Consequence Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, says, "O you who believe! Why do you say that which you do not do? Most hateful it is in the sight of Allah that you say that which you do not do." [61:2-3]. There must be total agreement between our words and deeds. One should carry into effect whatever he says, and when he has no intention of doing it, or lacks the means necessary to fulfill a promise, he should not say it. We can see that Prophet Muhammed, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, was not typical for the men around him in many ways. We also know that his way was the best in the Sight of Allah. Allah wanted his life to be the example we have to follow. We see others around us behaving in one way and we have the Sunnah as a contrasting example. We see families in turmoil, divorce becoming more common, children disinterested in Islam and our elders crying. We must all become active participants in the ummah. It is our responsibility to influence the world around us, not to succumb to its influence on us. We must strive everyday to emulate the perfect example Allah has given us. We must work harder to participate in our families' Islamic education, we must show our wives that we appreciate their efforts by helping them, and we must also encourage them to seek more knowledge about Islam in order to enrich our children with such an environment. We need to check our behavior when dealing with our wives. Are we really treating them in a kind and gentle manner? Do we always do what we say? When the Prophet, sallallaahu alayhe wa sallam, said, "When a man marries he has completed half of his religion and he needs only fear Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, to complete the other half." (Mishkat), he was reminding us that marriage is not separate from, but part of the deen. Therefore, all aspects of our marital relationship should follow the way of Islam Al-Jumuah vol.10 issue10 source

The Month of Sha'baan & Laylatul - Baraa'ah(The Fifteenth Night of Sha'baan) The month of Sha'baan enjoys a very special place in the Islamic Calendar because in this month lies a very auspicious night known as LAYLATUL- BARAA'AH (The Night of Emancipation; The night of Freedom from fire). The word Sha'baan means branches of good a'maal (deeds). FASTING IN SHA'BAAN: In this month Nabi(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) used to fast more than in the preceding months. Hadhrat Ayesha(radhiyallahu anha) reports that: " I never saw the Messenger of Allah(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) fasting in a month so profusely as he did in the month of Sha'baan. He used to fast in that month leaving only a few days, rather, he used to fast almost the whole of the month." (Tirmizi) However, Nabi(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) advised in several other Ahaadeeth that when the (first) half of Sha'baan has passed, one should not fast (i.e. during the second half of the month). Ulama explain that one should not unduly exert and strain one's self by fasting much (in the second half), for fear of one's health deteriorating before Ramadhaan begins; instead one should rather build strength and prepare one's self for the fasts of Ramadhaan. However, should one have the strength and health, then it would be meritorious and virtous to keep fasts according to one's ability. SPECIAL SIGNIFICANCE OF THE NIGHT OF BARAA'AH On this night Allah's Special Mercy and Forgiveness descends upon His fortunate servants from the commencement of the night (i.e. from Maghrib) until dawn. Furthermore, the announcements seeking out those who want forgiveness well exceed those, which occur every other night of the year. It is narrated from Hadhrat Abdullah bin Amr(radhiyallahu anhu) that Rasullullah(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said: "Allah looks with special attention towards His creation on the fifteenth night of Sha'baan and forgives all His servants except two categories of people, the person who harbors enmity(hatred) and a murderer." ( Imam Ahmad reports this Hadith with a slightly weak chain of narrators- Targhib-wat-Tarhib) Hadhrat Uthmaan bin Abil 'Aas(radhiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasullullah(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) said: : "On the fifteenth night qf Sha'baan Allah's (special mercy) descends to the nearest heavens. Thereafter, a proclaimer announces:" Is there anyone who seeks forgiveness so that I may forgive him? Is there anyone who desires anything so that I may grant his wishes? Allah thus fulfills the requests of all accept the adulteress and idolator." ( Baihaqi has reported this Hadith -Durre Manthur Page 27 Vol.6) UNFORTUNATE PEOPLE According to the Ahaadeeth, certain people are deprived of Allah's mercy even on this auspicious night. These unfortunate souls are: 1) Those who ascribe partners unto Allah. 2) Those who harbour enmity against others. 3) Those who habitually consume alcohol. 4) Those who disobey their parents. 5) Those men who wear their trousers etc.below their ankles. 6) Those who commit adultery and murder. 7) Those who sever family ties. Every Muslim should take stock of oneself and if one is involved in any of the above vices, one should turn to Allah and sincerely implore for forgiveness, lest one be deprived on this night. SINCERE TAUBAH(REPENTANCE) Allah Ta'aala says in the Noble Qur'aan: " O you who believe, turn to Allah with sincrere repentance, in the hope that your Lord will remove from you your evil deeds." (Quran: Surah Tahreem - Para 28). One should turn towards Allah with sincere regret and shame for the sins that one has committed. One should seek Allah's forgiveness for one's sins and make a firm resolution and promise not to commit sin again. However, sins relating to the rights of fellow beings will not be forgiven by mere taubah alone. Allah will only forgive such sins if forgiveness is first sought from the person who had been harmed and a sincere effort to redress the wrong committed against him/her is made. What should one do on this night? During this night one should engage oneself in Salaah, Qur'aan Tilaawat, Du'aa, Istighfaar and Zikr, according to one's ability and strength. PREPARATIONS FOR RAMADHAAN Nabi(sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) frequently recited the following du'aa: " 0 Allah bless us in Rajab and Sha'baan and make us reach Ramadhaan." We should earnestly begin preparing for Ramadhaan during this month of Sha'baan by making Istighfaar and cleansing ourselves of sins. We must endeavour to curtail our desires of committing sins, especially with the eyes, ears, tongue, mind and heart. Then we should begin inculcating good practices and bring about a spiritual and moral transformation in our lives in anticipation and eagerness for Ramadhaan. The virtue of this night as established from Ahaadeeth, is that from the very beginning of the night, Allah Ta'ala turns with special mercy and attention towards the creation and forgives those who repent and seeks forgiveness. Every Muslim should therefore value this night. Turn towards Allah Ta'ala with sincere regret and shame over sins committed and make a firm promise not to return to sin and seek forgiveness from Allah Ta'ala. Have firm hope and resolution in the heart that Allah Ta'ala will surely show mercy and forgiveness. We should value and treasure this night and derive maximum benefit therefrom; remembering to make duaa for the entire Ummah, the living and the deceased. Let us not be deprived of its tremendous blessings due to sheer negligence and indifference. Prepared by Al-Islaah Publications from Sources: 1. Ilmun Noor- Nurul Huda 2. Shabe` Baraat- Sheikhul Hadeeth Fadhlur Rahman 3.Al Hidaayah: Pamphlet No. 10 Courtesy: www.everymuslim.com

Originally posted by Castro: @WOL: good luck finding a man like that. That's why it's the perfect situation. It never would happen. It has its rewards, I can tell you that. As the lady of the house has plenty of time on her hands she can still pamper her husband as an appreciation token for his efforts. And as its mutual, changes are allowed wholeheartedly Originally posted by Sky: Yada Yada Yada! And Warrior of Light, you wanna cause me a heartattack or something? No for real though, such a wife would scare the shit out of me. I like daily fights in my house, neighbours calling the cops on us and shit, kids screaming. Than I feel comfortable in my house. You need a calming down program, I thought a hard day at work was terrible. I cant imagine having such a disruptive household. Well, what rocks your boat.Good luck

Actually your wrong Castro in my books thats harsh, remember Im from the fairer sex. They took the easy way out and that makes them cowards. Havent they ever thought the idea of being pioneers proving everyone else wrong and bring harmony?? The shariah wont be applied to all, it strictly for Muslims and its a choice. They are denying people a right, a right to choose what they deem necessary for their religeous and social wellbeing. How effective the arbitration could have been,is yet to be known but for starters the idea was a blessing. And Now,well something left to desire.