^^^LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK kix kix kix kix kix kix kix hahahahahahahahahahahahaha Thanks, Queen ***still laughing*** EAT 100: Get a Life, Learn to Cook

Man Sues Coffee Shop for Ice Mocha Mishap August 26, 2002 - Michigan, USA After spilling an iced coffee beverage onto his lap while driving from a local coffee shop drive-through a Michigan man is now suing the shop for $800,000 in damages and mental anguish. The man claimed it was a "traumatic experience" that has negatively altered his life in many ways. He claims that he was unaware of the frigid temperature of his Ice Mocha or he would have taken better precautions with handling the beverage. The coffee shop owner said during our interview, "Anyone who doesn't know the temperature of a drink that has the word 'ice' in its name has much more important things to worry about than a moment of discomfort due to his own negligence. He sustained no physical harm, there were no damages to his vehicle or possessions except a brown stain on his pants, which I am sure is something he is used to." Impolite Movie Goer Beaten To Death August 12, 2002 - Michigan, USA Movie enthusiast Brad Densley was admitted to the emergency room of a local Michigan hospital Thursday evening, and was later pronounced dead. This was after being brutally beaten in a movie theatre for answering his mobile phone during a pivotal moment in the movie's plot. Right away the whimsical monotone song the cell phone rang to immediately started people hissing and moving around in their seats. "As soon as I heard Jingle Bells from across the theatre in mid August, I wanted to hurt someone." said one audience member with a notable look of anger and hatred in his face. But when Mr. Densley then answered the phone, began talking pleasantries in an almost normal voice and proceeded to relay a shopping list to his wife, the audience went absolutely nuts. "It was when he started with the shopping list and he got down to the third item which was, I dunno, milk or something. I really wanted to stick that phone up his *** . Everyone started plowing over rows of seats to get to the guy and ring his neck, including myself." commented one person involved in the beating. "From the moment I saw him in the front lobby I knew he was an arrogant loser from his ill coordinated NY Yankees hat and LA Lakers t-shirt." Stated one man who was able to get a few kidney shots into Mr. Densley before leaving the theatre in disgust on Thursday. When interviewing the wife of Mr. Densley she stated, "This sort of thing has happened before and each time I was beyond embarrassed. But I never thought it would escalate from minor fist fights and kicking matches to the point where he looses his life. I am disappointed that the theatre staff looked the other way and did nothing to prevent my husband's death, with one usher in fact joining in on the beatings." Six men and two women were later charged and sentenced to appear in court, eleven others were issued warnings. Man Never Misses Trip To Gym For 5 Years July 29, 2002 - Florida, USA In an attempt to force himself into a healthy routine of exercise, a Florida man hired a hit man to kill him if he failed to show up to any of his 3 weekly workouts for the past 5 years. "At first I thought the ridiculous membership fees and that ludicrous up front joining fee would make me workout so I wouldn't waste the money - but that didn't work. Within weeks I was coming up with all sorts of lame pathetic excuses not to go. So I decided that if money wouldn't promote me to go, losing my life would. The hit man idea has worked like a charm, maybe even too good. There were some times that I truly would have preferred not to go, like that time I had bronchial asthmatic pneumonia. I've never had so much dark green mucus running down my face in my life, you should have seen that treadmill afterwards. But with all its ups and downs, my only complaint lately is that what I originally thought were expensive gym fees have been over shadowed by the high cost of the hit man. Now that I want to stop, I can't because I told him to shoot me if I told him I wanted to give up." Publisher realeses guide on kicking Cats July 25, 2002 - USA The 45 page colour instructional book entitled "Kicking Cats" guides men through the process of kicking cats down flights of stairs without repercussions from their spouse or girlfriends. "It isn't as easy as one would think to successfully do and get away with", comments author John Moore. "I was caught numerous times by my at the time girlfriends and eventually became determined to develop a fail-proof process. This book represents years of studying, practicing, research and an estimated 150 test cats. At first I was somewhat alarmed by my dislike for cats, when considering how much my girlfriends and ex-wife liked them. But after talking to scores of other men about my pent up feelings of anger towards cats, I realized I was far from alone. That is why the introduction goes into great detail about the history of cat kicking and some of the current theories on men's hatred of cats. The secret to a successful kick is to first befriend the cat, building its trust in you. It is when the cat is truly relaxed and comfortable around you that you can then angle it towards the stair case for a mighty punt."

YOu have a choice between the evil of the two lessers...

I propose that this thread be moved to the jokes forum :rolleyes: Posted by Moti: What do Women want? Man gives up on Women April 10, 2003 - Atlanta, USA Atlanta native auto mechanic Michael Ross publicly declares that he has given up the life long struggle to figure out what women really want. This came after a recently published report estimating American corporations had spent over $1 billion dollars in 2001 to determine what want women want from their products and marketing, and had largely failed. "If combining rooms full of highly skilled experts and truckloads of money can't figure these women out, how on earth is the typical blue collar man with $28,000 after tax dollars a year supposed to?" said Mr. Ross during an interview with Atlanta news reporters. "It may be that these women themselves have no idea what they are looking for or what will win them over. Many admit to having the exact same qualities in one man be endearing, while in another, off-putting." Mr. Ross's web site has generated over 32,000 letters of support from other men in its guest book since his announcement earlier in the day.

LOL@Sue P.S. What's up with the bacteria culture? I thought I saw enough of that in micro.....

^^^Agree. Trying to divert the blame from themselves and place it squarely on the victims...who can't defend themselves. Pathetic :rolleyes: . And sad . May Allah forgive them and reward them. Amen.

^^^^So what's ur score? Zu: It doesnt have to be ur first try But ur best score after u try countless times to keep ninkaan oo gamereeysan on his feet.

Lets Just Say all forms of Genital Mutilation is horrible: Whether: Male Female Animal (Horrible, Horrible cases) NO more comparing...open a diff thread..and lets get back to the original one. Salaam

Allah Allah, He who has the Godhood which is the power to create the entities. Ar-Rahmaan The Compassionate, The Beneficient, The One who has plenty of mercy for the believers and the blasphemers in this world and especially for the believers in the hereafter. Ar-Raheem The Merciful, The One who has plenty of mercy for the believers. Al-Malik The King, The Sovereign Lord, The One with the complete Dominion, the One Whose Dominion is clear from imperfection. Al-Quddoos The Holy, The One who is pure from any imperfection and clear from children and adversaries. As-Salaam The Source of Peace, The One who is free from every imperfection. Al-Mu'min Guardian of Faith, The One who witnessed for Himself that no one is God but Him. And He witnessed for His believers that they are truthful in their belief that no one is God but Him. Al-Muhaimin The Protector, The One who witnesses the saying and deeds of His creatures. Al-^Azeez The Mighty, The Strong, The Defeater who is not defeated. Al-Jabbaar The Compeller, The One that nothing happens in His Dominion except that which He willed. Al-Mutakabbir The Majestic, The One who is clear from the attributes of the creatures and from resembling them. Al-Khaaliq The Creator, The One who brings everything from non-existence to existence. Al-Bari' The Evolver, The Maker, The Creator who has the Power to turn the entities. Al-Musawwir The Fashioner, The One who forms His creatures in different pictures. Al-Ghaffaar The Great Forgiver, The Forgiver, The One who forgives the sins of His slaves time and time again. Al-Qahhaar The Subduer, The Dominant, The One who has the perfect Power and is not unable over anything. Al-Wahhaab The Bestower, The One who is Generous in giving plenty without any return. He is everything that benefits whether Halal or Haram. Al-Razzaaq The Sustainer, The Provider. Al-Fattaah The Opener, The Reliever, The Judge, The One who opens for His slaves the closed worldy and religious matters. Al-^Aleem The All-knowing, The Knowledgeable; The One nothing is absent from His knowledge. Al-Qaabid The Constricter, The Retainer, The Withholder, The One who constricts the sustenance by His wisdomand expands and widens it with His Generosity and Mercy. Al-Baasit The Expander, The Englarger, The One who constricts the sustenance by His wisdomand expands and widens it with His Generosity and Mercy. Al-Khaafid The Abaser, The One who lowers whoever He willed by His Destruction and raises whoever He willed by His Endowment. Ar-Raafi^ The Exalter, The Elevator, The One who lowers whoever He willed by His Destruction and raises whoever He willed by His Endowment. Al-Mu^iz The Honorer, He gives esteem to whoever He willed, hence there is no one to degrade Him; And He degrades whoever He willed, hence there is no one to give Him esteem. Al-Muthil The Dishonorer, The Humiliator, He gives esteem to whoever He willed, hence there is no one to degrade Him; And He degrades whoever He willed, hence there is no one to give Him esteem. As-Samee^ The All-Hearing, The Hearer, The One who Hears all things that are heard by His Eternal Hearing without an ear, instrument or organ. Al-Baseer The All-Seeing, The One who Sees all things that are seen by His Eternal Seeing without a pupil or any other instrument. Al-Hakam The Judge, He is the Ruler and His judgment is His Word. Al-^Adl The Just, The One who is entitled to do what He does. Al-Lateef The Subtle One, The Gracious, The One who is kind to His slaves and endows upon them. Al-Khabeer The Aware, The One who knows the truth of things. Al-Haleem The Forebearing, The Clement, The One who delays the punishment for those who deserve it and then He might forgive them. Al-^Azeem The Great One, The Mighty, The One deserving the attributes of Exaltment, Glory, Extolement,and Purity from all imperfection. Al-Ghafoor The All-Forgiving, The Forgiving, The One who forgives a lot. Ash-Shakoor The Grateful, The Appreciative, The One who gives a lot of reward for a little obedience. Al-^Aliyy The Most High, The Sublime, The One who is clear from the attributes of the creatures. Al-Kabeer The Most Great, The Great, The One who is greater than everything in status. Al-Hafeez The Preserver, The Protector, The One who protects whatever and whoever He willed to protect. Al-Muqeet The Maintainer, The Guardian, The Feeder, The Sustainer, The One who has the Power. Al-Haseeb The Reckoner, The One who gives the satisfaction. Aj-Jaleel The Sublime One, The Beneficent, The One who is attributed with greatness of Power and Glory of status. Al-Kareem The Generous One, The Bountiful, The Gracious, The One who is attributed with greatness of Power and Glory of status. Ar-Raqeeb The Watcher, The Watchful, The One that nothing is absent from Him. Hence it's meaning is related to the attribute of Knowledge. Al-Mujeeb The Responsive, The Hearkener, The One who answers the one in need if he asks Him and rescues the yearner if he calls upon Him. Al-Wasi^ The Vast, The All-Embracing, The Knowledgeable. Al-Hakeem The Wise, The Judge of Judges, The One who is correct in His doings. Al-Wadood The Loving, The One who loves His believing slaves and His believing slaves love Him. His love to His slaves is His Will to be merciful to them and praise them:Hence it's meaning is related to the attributes of the Will and Kalam (His attribute with which He orders and forbids and spoke to Muhammad and Musa -peace be upon them- . It is not a sound nor a language nor a letter.). Al-Majeed The Most Glorious One, The Glorious, The One who is with perfect Power, High Status, Compassion, Generosity and Kindness. Al-Ba^ith The Reserrector, The Raiser (from death), The One who resurrects His slaves after death for reward and/or punishment. Ash-Shaheed The Witness, The One who nothing is absent from Him. Al-Haqq The Truth, The True, The One who truly exists. Al-Wakeel The Trustee, The One who gives the satisfaction and is relied upon. Al-Qawiyy The Most Strong, The Strong, The One with the complete Power. Al-Mateen The Firm One, The One with extreme Power which is un-interrupted and He does not get tired. Al-Waliyy The Protecting Friend, The Supporter. Al-Hameed The Praiseworthy, The praised One who deserves to be praised. Al-Muhsee The Counter, The Reckoner, The One who the count of things are known to him. Al-Mubdi' The Originator, The One who started the human being. That is, He created him. Al-Mu^eed The Reproducer, The One who brings back the creatures after death. Al-Muhyi The Restorer, The Giver of Life, The One who took out a living human from semen that does not have a soul. He gives life by giving the souls back to the worn out bodies on the resurrection day and He makes the hearts alive by the light of knowledge. Al-Mumeet The Creator of Death, The Destroyer, The One who renders the living dead. Al-Hayy The Alive, The One attributed with a life that is unlike our life and is not that of a combination of soul, flesh or blood. Al-Qayyoom The Self-Subsisting, The One who remains and does not end. Al-Waajid The Perceiver, The Finder, The Rich who is never poor. Al-Wajd is Richness. Al-Waahid The Unique, The One, The One without a partner. Al-Ahad The One. As-Samad The Eternal, The Independent, The Master who is relied upon in matters and reverted to in ones needs. Al-Qaadir The Able, The Capable, The One attributed with Power. Al-Muqtadir The Powerful, The Dominant, The One with the perfect Power that nothing is withheld from Him. Al-Muqaddim The Expediter, The Promoter, The One who puts things in their right places. He makes ahead what He wills and delays what He wills. Al-Mu'akh-khir The Delayer, the Retarder, The One who puts things in their right places. He makes ahead what He wills and delays what He wills. Al-'Awwal The First, The One whose Existence is without a beginning. Al-'Akhir The Last, The One whose Existence is without an end. Az-Zaahir The Manifest, The One that nothing is above Him and nothing is underneath Him, hence He exists without a place. He, The Exalted, His Existence is obvious by proofs and He is clear from the delusions of attributes of bodies. Al-Baatin The Hidden, The One that nothing is above Him and nothing is underneath Him, hence He exists without a place. He, The Exalted, His Existence is obvious by proofs and He is clear from the delusions of attributes of bodies. Al-Walee The Governor, The One who owns things and manages them. Al-Muta^ali The Most Exalted, The High Exalted, The One who is clear from the attributes of the creation. Al-Barr The Source of All Goodness, The Righteous, The One who is kind to His creatures, who covered them with His sustenance and specified whoever He willed among them by His support, protection, and special mercy. At-Tawwaab The Acceptor of Repentance, The Relenting, The One who grants repentance to whoever He willed among His creatures and accepts his repentance. Al-Muntaqim The Avenger, The One who victoriously prevails over His enemies and punishes them for their sins. It may mean the One who destroys them. Al-^Afuww The Pardoner, The Forgiver, The One with wide forgiveness. Ar-Ra'uf The Compassionate, The One with extreme Mercy. The Mercy of Allah is His will to endow upon whoever He willed among His creatures. Malik Al-Mulk The Eternal Owner of Sovereignty, The One who controls the Dominion and gives dominion to whoever He willed. Thul-Jalali wal-Ikram The Lord of Majesty and Bounty, The One who deserves to be Exalted and not denied. Al-Muqsit The Equitable, The One who is Just in His judgment. Aj-Jaami^ The Gatherer, The One who gathers the creatures on a day that there is no doubt about, that is the Day of Judgment. Al-Ghaniyy The Self-Sufficient, The One who does not need the creation. Al-Mughni The Enricher, The One who satisfies the necessities of the creatures. Al-Maani^ The Preventer, The Withholder. Ad-Daarr The Distresser, The One who makes harm reach to whoever He willed and benefit to whoever He willed. An-Nafi^ The Propitious, The One who makes harm reach to whoever He willed and benefit to whoever He willed. An-Noor The Light, The One who guides. Al-Haadi The Guide, The One whom with His Guidance His belivers were guided, and with His Guidance the living beings have been guided to what is beneficial for them and protected from what is harmful to them. Al-Badi^ The Incomparable, The One who created the creation and formed it without any preceding example. Al-Baaqi The Everlasting, The One that the state of non-existence is impossible for Him. Al-Waarith The Supreme Inheritor, The Heir, The One whose Existence remains. Ar-Rasheed The Guide to the Right Path, The One who guides. As-Saboor The Patient, The One who does not quickly punish the sinners. So, memorizing or enumerating the Excellent Names of Allah, will result in remembering him; remembering him will result in the illumination and goodness of the heart; this good heart will result in the good deeds; and the good deeds will take the person into Paradise by the permission of the Lord Of the worlds Allah.When the remembrance of Allah is in abundance, bad thoughts and ideas are suppressed and good ones occur which lead to good deeds. " The Prophet Mohammed proclaimed: "To God belongs 99 names, 100 minus 1, anyone who memorizes them will enter Paradise; He (God) is odd (odd number, he is the Only one), and He loves odd numbers (such as 99)". www.jannah.org

A friend sent me this game....and Im slightly worried about his disturbingly high score. I think that this means ...uh...er...well...***I knew I shouldve paid attention in psychology class*** I can only make it to 65 meters Go to the website listed at the bottom of this then try to keep this tipsy german fellow on his feet. Click Start, then move your mouse left to right (no clicking) to keep him walking in a straight line. The object of the game is to keep him walking, without falling over, by using your mouse from left to right. You cant see your mouse pointer, which makes it more difficult. Apparently the record is 82 meters ! http://www.wagenschenke.ch/

LOOOOOOOOL

I would allow rats to disarm these people if it was possible.

Do thine eyes deceive me? Is raami getting annoyed :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: P.S. I hope you dont take it personally. Im feeling bored these days...wanting to ruffle some feathers

Im still waiting for the answers to my questions, people You can wait till the fat lady sings...and let me tell you the fat lady has been on a pretty vigorous diet these days P.S. Raami eh? zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz LOOOOOOOOOL

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...ma saas baa?

2 Boys: Mahad and Samatar Warsame and Rooble Qawdhan and Guleed Liiban and Bashir 2 Girls Asli and Sagal Suban and Hawwa Juwairiya and Kayza Ugbaad and Hani

Politically inclined: Ur pics wont come up :confused:

Somalia chasing Somaliland...

TOUGH TIME "I've just had the most awful time," said a boy to his friends. "First I got angina pectoris, then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering, I got psoriasis. They gave me hypodermics, and to top it all, tonsillitis was followed by appendectomy." "Wow! How did you pull through?" sympathized his friends. "I don't know," the boy replied. "Toughest spelling test I ever had." LITTLE GIRL PUNISHED A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do." The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?" The little girl replied, "My homework."

A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head. The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what's going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, "Pardon me. May I help you with something." The blind man says, "No thanks. I'm just looking around."

Welcome and have a nice stay

^^^Somebody's crumbling *hmph*

^^^Do you ever get tired?......**yawns**** Please, please! The Americans are relying on what I called yesterday a desperate and ****** method. Let the American infidels bask in their illusion. Iraqi Information Minister

Just like black-on-black crime :eek: :eek: :eek: I hope ur joking...If you are hahahahahah If not :mad: How do you think black-on-black crime came to be? The root of it? Black people suddenly woke up and said...hey..Im bored...let me shoot that N.I.G.G.A.? Same as FGM. Were not talking about who does it. Were talking about -Men (some) who demand it -Men (some) who encourage it -Men (some) who have freakin toddler tantrums if their wife isnt hacked and butchered like a piece of meat!!! ***Breath in...Breath out...Breath in...Breath out*** I see