I did. I tried to be fair about it and move it to the jokes section although my gut was telling me to delete it immediately. That is a disgusting piece of junk and if it reappears in the general section I WILL DELETE IT.

***Peace and unity on the my motherland is on my mind*** and the prophet himself (swc) talked how difficualt women can be and more. ^^^^These made me snigger. As Zu said 'the damn irony of it all'. Isn't it funny no matter how frequently polygamous threads reoccur they always get the most attention.

LOL! I was about to go for reruns. I'm glad u bought it back. Funny. Castro should be interesting. :cool:

cuz surely u can do better than me even if u land one that chews, playz cards, smokes shiisha all nite but comes home every nite about 5am where I be one night at wife #1's home and the other nite be getting up 5am to bring home bread and milk Your sarcasm is lost on me & the blatant attempt to flatter yourself so you can justify duping an innocent naive girl into the trappings and untold horrors of polygomous marriage (slight exaggeratoin ). Listen Naasir I really wish you the best. If I was a man, I would want as many woman as can handle me too. Actually that isnt a bad idea...je pourrais juste l'essayer. When one is not enough: Polygamy and Women After 18 years of marriage, Omar, a 43-year-old successful Damascus businessman, took a second wife. Appalled, his first wife, Samia, changed the locks on their front door and refused to let her husband in unless he divorced the woman she called his "concubine." That failed because the house was in Omar's name and he threatened to expel her from there. One day, sitting in her apartment, Samia's friends asked about her plans. With a devious smile, the 39-year-old mother of four grown children disappeared only to reappear in an exotic Arabian dancing suit with a shimmering red bra and long chiffon skirt. Then Samia turned on some oriental music and began swaying to the rhythm of the beat: "Do you think this will bring Omar back?" she asked. But it didn't. There are no statistics or even estimates on how many men in Syria are polygamists. It is certainly less common than during the 1960's where it was not unusual for a man to have four wives all living under the same roof. Financial costs of supporting more than one wife, among other things, has made such arrangements unusual. Still, polygamy, which is legal in Syria, remains more common than divorce. In my well-to-do Damascus neighborhood, for example, two husbands out of 20 are polygamous. All my female friends personally know of polygamous relationships. While polygamy enhances a man's perception of himself sexually, for almost all first wives polygamy means untold misery and disgrace to their sense of pride, integrity and a feeling of sexual rejection. Today Samia is still struggling with her husband's second union, which has resulted in several children. His financial support and effort to spend time with her is no consolation. When Omar brought his the seven year-old-son from his second marriage to the wedding of the oldest son from his first marriage, Samia couldn't restrain herself from making resentful remarks to many of her guests. "You know why he brought this dwarf here? To spite me! He loves to do that!" Then as Samia leaned over to greet me, she asked, "You still haven't married, Rim? Well, I can't blame you, but if you do, remember never to trust a man. Otherwise you will end up like me." But when I replied that women in such circumstances can get divorced, Samia snapped "God forbid! Divorce? You know what they say about a divorced woman? She's like a stale meal. Besides, my children would've ended up on the streets!" Although divorce is becoming more common, according to attorney Layla El-Soleh, divorced women suffer greatly in Syrian society. A divorced woman is perceived as a financial burden on her family's house -- where she inevitably retreats -- and has little chance of remarrying. Divorced mothers are also accused of deserting their children. Under common law boys after age seven can choose his live-in parent, while at age nine the girl is required to live with her father. However, a divorced Syrian man often fails to live up to the responsibility of bringing up his children, especially when he has another wife and family to look after. Therefore, in an attempt to relieve themselves of the responsibility, it is common for fathers to send children to their grandparents. These factors cause many women in polygamous relationships to stay with their husbands, explaining, as unhappily married women in the West often rationalize, that it is for the good of the kids. When I recently met with Suha, 47, it had been 15 years since she discovered her husband was polygamous. But she stayed with him because her two children were then young. Proudly, she introduced me to her now 20-year-old daughter, Dunia, who smiled graciously as she leaned over to hand me a cup of coffee. "I knew he wouldn't give up his children, if I divorced," Suha continued. "Even if he did, I couldn't support them. Besides I didn't want my kids to grow up without a father and mother. So I stayed and made sure that my husband was there for his children, morally and financially." A serene smile spread over her face, "Now, Dunia is engaged to a young man. When his family asked for her hand, Dunia's father was there. He conducted all the arrangements. Her in-laws can't show an ounce of disrespect for her, because she has a real father in her life." Suha's situation is clearly better than that of Mona, a 32-year-old mother of two, separated from her polygamous husband, Sameer. Her last straw was when her son, Hassan, had a high fever and she called a doctor to make a house call. When she asked Sameer for money for the medical bill, he blew up, told her she should have gone to a public clinic, and only days later reluctantly threw the money on the living room sofa. Now Mona and her two children live with her parents and survive on their mother's tiny secretarial salary. "My father believes that Sameer will reconcile," said Mona. " He refuses to understand that Sameer wanted to drive me out of the house so his new wife could move in." But although she knows divorce would disgrace her parents, she insists she won't go back. "If I can't give money to my children, at least I can teach them about integrity." Not surprisingly, Mona has little sympathy for her husband's new wife. "When I went to get some of my stuff, she could barely look me in the eye. I guess, in her own way, she feels guilty for causing my family to breakup But, of course, that doesn't stop her from living in my home and wasting the money that should belong to my children on her wardrobe and hair." The second wife usually agrees to a polygamous marriage by her own free will. But she rarely convinces her husband to divorce his first wife. Some second wives say they prefer it that way. "Why would I do that?" asked Muneera, a 32-year-old secretary who married her 41-year-old rich boss, "So I'd end up raising his four children? I certainly didn't marry to be a stepmom!" Second wives have their own humiliation. Hudda, 35, who married Khaled, a 57-year-old powerful judge and grandfather said bitterly, "Khaled made it very clear that he would never give up Ghada. She is the mother of his children and must stay that way. I, on the other hand, am more of a luxury." When I ask Hudda candidly how she feels about being called a homewrecker, she said, "People forget that if Khaled wasn't unsatisfied with his first wife, he wouldn't have wanted me. Besides I wasn't going to be a mistress he could dispose of whenever he wanted. I have to have a home and some stability, you know." The ambiguity of polygamy, as described in the Koran, paves the way to conflicting opinions of religious thinkers. One group insists that polygamy is a man's right, because, as one Koranic verse says: "Marry women of your choice, two, three, four." They also argue that Muhammad, the Prophet, married several wives during his life. But others like ShaHrour, a modern Syrian religious leader, argues that the Koran allowed men to marry only widows for the sake of their orphans during a time when war took a heavy death toll on men and caused a marked gender imbalance. Moreover, Islamic History is full of strong women like Amina, the Prophet's great-granddaughter who agreed to marry Zaid Ibn Umar, with the provision: "He will not touch another woman. He will not prevent her from spending his money, and he will not oppose any decision she might make. Otherwise she will leave him." Two feminist professors at the Faculty of Arts in Damascus once told me, "In order for women to deal with polygamy, they must learn to use their rights and understand that religion has never been the original reason for male dominance and female exploitation. For that to happen, women need to learn their rights and have the courage to exercise them." Most Syrian women fail to follow the example of such powerful Islamic women for fear of abandonment and of facing the vehement opposition of a society which perceives a woman's self-determination and independence as a threat to its structure of male dominance. Most Syrian women fail to follow the example of strong Islamic women for fear of abandonment and of facing the vehement opposition of a society which perceives a woman's self-determination and independence as a threat to its structure of male dominance. But there are also practical reasons Syrian women stay in polygamous marriages. The trend today is for women to reject the once customary dowry given by future husband before marriage, which provided women with financial security, because they do not want to be perceived as greedy. Other women will write down a large, upaid sum for a dowry in the marriage contract, but this, by law, is payable only if the husband seeks a divorce. Meanwhile, society encourages Syrian women to expect lavish weddings, jewelry and other material objects throughout their marriage. Many women have so grown dependent on being financially provided for by men. Islam does not trap women into polygamy. Rather it gives them the free will to choose how they want to live their lives. Syrian society is male dominated and sexist, but as long as women continue to blame men and religion for their oppression and insecurity without taking any action, no genuine change will ever take place. Source

Originally posted by Naasir: Women are tough to deal with, at the same time they are weak and need some one to lead them, however they don't know that untill u come along, so brother come and get on the bus with us,,, oohhh yeee you can alwayz complete the max allowed even if you have to go back home Anywayz I Pray to God to save us from Women. Also I Pray to God to lead us the right way. You are thinking about two, and I am wondering how anyone would even think about marrying you with that kind of attitude. Good luck. :rolleyes: You obviosly are in need of it. Rahima: as always, right on the money.

With all due respect, LF speak for urself. Many posters have already disagreed with the poster. What do you mean by that? Maybe I shouldve added that the 'you' and 'men' were general to all men. If I want to talk about Nur or address him, I'd quote him. I have nothing to say about the article as of now. It's one brother's view and I respect it. I even agree to a majority of what he says. As for the cleavage part, did you not read my last sentence? I guess you are talking about the extreme (.0001 %) There is no need to bring up the minority. I am just saying a sister who dresses modesty as she sees fit...but without the hijaab (headcovering) should not be labelled as anything but a sister and given respect. There is no reason to judge. We are not in her shoes and Allah knows her true intentions. Hijaab is not a measure of modesty. Believe me.

Any1 contesting the observation of the distinct groups among Muslim women in relation to the Hijab? No one is disagreeing with the observation. You honestly cant expect every woman who calls herself Muslim (half a billiion population) to be wearing the niqaab, standing all night in prayer, and reciting the quran 24/7? Thats just a ridiculous expectaton that would surely lead to disaapointments. Were humans. The problem comes in when one links a woman's choice in clothing with her level of Imaan. There is no correlation between the two. At all. Secondly, I find it funny that men are the ones who always have to comment on women's hijaab and modesty. I guess considering that they have it easy... i.e. blending in with the crowd, nothing if any made obligatory on them that makes them stand out...being visible targets of ridicule, threats, discrimination, insults, and sometimes physical attacks. Probably thats the closest they can come to drama without having to live it. Cute. And safe. Fire away. P.S. Were not talking about seeing a fellow sister pole dancing at the local strip club. In which case, you have some issues to deal with too.

Saalaam Reena. Welcome to SOL. Hope you enjoy your stay here. I have heard the same thing, and the reason for it is because we do not belong to our husbands. We are not clothing to be tossed from man to man. I mean, how tiresome and annoying is it to keep on changing your name legally & socially husband after husband? Lets say you were married two times, which is fairly common now. That means you will have to do three name changes...from your original (father's), to your first husband, then to the next. Sheesh. Too much work girlfriend. I always found it odd that a husband and wife shared the same last name. Are they supposed to be spouses or siblings? Decreases confusion also. And akward moments. Possible Scenerio: "Your younger brother is so freakin hot Reena" "Uhhhh, thats my husband" :rolleyes: :mad: P.S. Sorry couldnt provide you with any links. My brain hurts. Its late. And I have a hunch someone more knowlegable will come along.

Istaqfuruallah. I wish the family gets the justice they are due. We all imagine daycares and schools to be a safe haven for our children. But evil people lurk everywhere and you can't trust anyone with your child but yourself. Anyway, we’re hijacking the topic here. There are people trying to view the photo of the toilet and weep in peace. Sad.

So basically our 'advice' matters more to you than your 'future' wife's opinions and concerns? Okey dokey. Here is mine. Go and talk to her. Tell her the truth about your plans and your feelings on the subject. Then let her decide whether she is willing to live with that. If she is satisfied with the situation, good for her and you, if not, part ways peacefully. Do not lie to her or tell her sweet stuff to get her to marry you, and then completely change your attitude afterwards. That is not right.

Baashi, Go Le Femme go, Go lady go I thought you hated me. Or this one of your ploys to get into my good side?

I take a moment to truly look at her and study her ravaged face. I can no longer ingnore her presence, and relegate her to the back of my mind. She defiantly gazes back at me, emotionless, teardrops as brilliant as diamonds clining to her lashes and gently falling into her kohl lined flashing eyes. She doesnt flinch at my scrutiniy but patiently waits. For what? I do not know. She looks older than her years, world weary, hesitant like a badly hurt child. Sadness seems to seep out of every pore of her body and her fragile shoulders slump under the weight of long forgotten promises. Shes stands there utterly alone, deafeated, silently pleading, vulnerable. Thin, red lines streak across her heavily lided eyes to disappear into the rid rimmed black pools. The simple act of opening them seems like a monumental task. Her small mouth is dry, puckered, blending against the ashen pallor of her gaunt face. She lost her innocent beauty, her lustre for life. Her once plump mouth droops at the corners and the flawless face slighty sags, potmarked. The layers of makeup do little to hide the bruises. Her dull, brittle hair falls about her face in stringy, frizzled curls. A sigh escapes her lips and floats in the air. I cant take my eyes off of her, try as I might. Her haunting face has me rooted to the spot, transfixed and powerless. She looks comfortably familiar, like an old friend, a forgetten memory. I have known her long ago, and the subtle differences between the two images grab my attention. Her breath comes out in small short gasps, falling into perfect harmony with mine, like a well chorographed dance. A lone tears breaks free and starts to gracefully fall down the many crevices lining her face until its captured on the flickering, pink, moist tip of her tongue. She tastes the manifestation of her inner, emotional pain; her muffled agonized screams tearing up the very depth of my soul. I do not know who to help her, to tell her that tommorow is a new begining, to show her that even darkness has its purpose, for does it not bring out the shiny brilliance of the stars? I slowly lean towards her, my eyes locked with hers, and brush the faintest of brushes againt her lips. Cool, smooth glass presses gently against my salty mouth. The spell breaks, and my senses snap back violently. A small knot of shame burns hot in the pit of my stomach as I turn away from mirror.

Is the alternative any better than the situation they are in now? Most of the times, its a no. So why should they take a risk for an uncertain future? People usually stick to what they know out of habit or because it offers them a sense of security.

Rahima, Already stared the bullying I see,lol You haven't seen anything yet. I have my eye on the Admin's position. P.S. My hopes came crashing down my feet when I found out I didn't have the power to ban. :eek: How very cruel and disappointing. Oh well. Tuujiye: That was a taste of whats to come my dear friend. How dare you even think about threatening me? :mad: Notice my new avatar?? The eye? Im watching your every move and breathe boy. :cool:

Be very scared...looooooooooooooool...As someone used to say.....Jecliyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

5 Animals I wish I had as pets: - Horse - Cat - Monkey - Snake - Man

Concordia University I dont remember how many times I've seen that particular Uni mentioned in news or documentaries. Such controversy it brings! Sounds like a great place to be. Exciting is the word. Hows your experience there so far, Animal Farm?

^Behave LST & Nafta. Don't be starting trouble now for your own entertainment! Thats my job. Rahima: Talk is cheap sugar.

Zeph & Seven, Where did you guys go? I mean, not even a decent exist? Thanks alot. I know Rahima won't indulge me like you two did. I heard she is *whispers* and that sometimes she *whispers*. Goodbye

^ *snap!*

Me is planning to make me own money Pray tell, how does that stop you from taking his? Think woman, think! *whats your is mine* *whats ours is mine* *whats mine is mine* *what your momma gave u is mine* *what you think about is mine* * YOU are mine* :cool:

Marry so that a woman can cook for you! I cannot believe you animal farm, you of all people. Truly disappointed. Works both ways sugar. We all take advantage of each other. Don't we marry men so we can take their money? And a lil garabge taking on the side? Here is my oldest brother's temporary schedule: Wakes up 6 in the morning. Wakes me up for fajr. Leaves home at 7 in the morning. Comes back at 7 in the evening. Sleeps until midnight. Never see him. I love it.

^Haa dee. Balo kula quruxbadnaatey. Saas kaliya baa laguu doortey ma'ogtahey? Can't you see the seething anger hiding behind my big fake smile? I clearly told you, I hate you, woman! *mac mac* *I'm a little schitzophrenic* Tuujiye: Jinni ku tuujiye. Maxaa adi kaa galey waxa i haayo? War nadaaf intaana beerka kaaga boodin. @ the topic: Nazra. He was never yours legally to begin with hon. So its within his right and your girlfriends to explore their options.

If I told you that the trouble with Islam is that it has too many aggressive followers. Your reply should be, to either agree and end it there. Or, disagree and convince me that Islam does not have aggressive followers. Wouldn't you save yourself alot of headache & unnecessary comments by slightly repharasing it as "The problem with some musilms is that they are too aggresive when it comes to Islam"?. If people like to see it that way, then you should say it like that.

Tough love really does work. That was an incredible story Orgilaqe. Your father loved you. Some people learn the lesson you have at 16 when they are middle aged.