She longes to have a baby though she denies it. Why are girls made to feel ashamed of wanting to be a wife or mother above all else? Its a new thing going on I'v noticed. I'm saying this because whenever I go to the masjid I gravitate towards the newborns and I ask the mothers to let me hold them. They always smile and place their precious bundle in my arms and start talking about their little ones. They love this as much as I do. And you know what the somali ladies say? "Ar gabadha Femme fiiriya. Cunug ma'ahee waxkale kama fakarto! Guurdoon baa gabadha haayso.'. Huh?I'm their prime entertainment at the masjid. I adore babies. So? People love stating the obvious and making it sound weird & abnormal. This girl has read to many love stories, dreamt her wedding day for the past 20 years and has written two love songs. She is into fairytale and happy endings. Will she get her very own happy ending? Doesnt every girl had have these hopes, dreams, wishes since she was a little girl? Again, whats the big deal? I only have a problem when it gets out of control as you claim and they think of nothiing else or measure their worth by it. Other than that...let the dreamers dream. We all need that before we are rudely woken into reality.

^Look at the other side. Because of that also, they would want to make 'laws' against honour killings and such. Why weren't they made before? They are not obviously doing it because they recognize that its 'wrong' 'immortal' 'haram'. Its sickens me what they would do to kiss the EU butt. Too bad all they're getting is a faceful of feces. one that is purposely (rightly or wrongly) being made to look backward? How can anyone make a culture look bad when in fact...IT IS?

This stipulated that if a rapist married his victim, his penalty would be suspended and if he stayed married to her for five years, it would be cancelled completely. Women forced to marry their Tormentors Indian woman forced to marry her father in law

I suspect you are on a missonary trip. Better watch your back. They'd as soon shot you as listen. And those are the tolerant ones.

Rahima, X-quizit, Nur & Mutakalim's suggestions convinced me. I would be interested to see how the other 50% of the population thinks & acts. If it does come to pass, just make sure not to place it above women. :mad: Helpful topics: 1. Get a life--Learn how to cook & pick up after yourself 2. Understanding your finiancial incompetence--Get a decent job 3. The attainable Goal--omitting *nayaa* from your limited vocabulary 4. How to take illness like a Man 5. Crying (over anything other than death of a loved one) is not acceptable 6. Farting in Public---Why its not funny 7. Intimacy: Not a threat to Manhood

Interesting you should ask this. This question has been the topic of hot debate due to this incident that occured recently in Canada--> Smith faces second degree charge I believe that if a person has contacted fatal/contagious disease his/her rights to privacy should be overruled by the publics right to their health. One person cannot be held in favour over the rights of many others. Its unethical, immoral, wrong, etc. Anyone who is in contact with the said person should be informed. However I don't believe this warrants a section in the local newspaper---just the close circles that person interacts with.

I believe, women must have either an easier path to heaven or tougher road to hell. I don't know I very much doubt it! [Resisting in hijacking this topic]. That doesnt explain why hell is filled mostly with women when the majority of the world's crime and sin are commited by men! venting..no need to answer...continue with topic... Nur, I assumed this was a hypothetical question and now that your saying its real and someone came to you for advice: The best advice I can give you walaal is not to be part of a break-up of a marriage. Do not put yourself in that position for you will never truly know the full story. My kumi iyo taano.

May Allah save us from ignorant Muslims, Ameen.

Layzie, I'd be happy to scoop up the ones you throw away. I'm pretty sure their spirits have been broken by time I come around! It's called charitable recycling. P.S Its not "Love them, Leave them" its "Use them, Leave them" or your getting soft dear?

Hearts are melting people- proposal took place right under our nose, it looks like the end receiver is none other than the cuban plant distributor Castro, where a young feminine activist sneaked him the words "You should've been related to me. I could always use a man with your views in my family tree" Are we waiting for a ring? when is hooyo going to be contacted. the cuban plant might just make it to the tree. more on this romance You evil child! :mad: I meant my lil brother so I could pat him on the head and squeeze his cheeks. :rolleyes: P.S. Continue in english please.

^Thats commen sense. I don't know what people are arguing about.

^You should've been related to me. I could always use a man with your views in my family tree. But honestly what is a xaliimo to do if shes fantasizing about her next door neighbour when shes making love to her husband? Too bad she cant have both! And same to Mr.-I-fell-in-love-and-cant-live-without-her-courtesy-of-hallmark. If both partners dont agree that is not a happy household. It's funny why I should be passionate about this. It's not as if any of SOLers opinions are going to matter in my life. Its just that I've seen too many men destroy the women in my family (cousins, aunts). If I wasn't scared of hell I would've really hurt them real bad---legally.

1. I think the idea of a threesome has lead to a horny generation of loser faraaxs. 2. Its funny that people give their own meaning to the word NO these days. Castro, Why is the haraam even an option? Oh my wife refuses to stay with me if I marry a second therefore let me do haram...and the first is to blame? The stubborn mule! :rolleyes:

^The sports section and political section should be combined and named the "Men's Dungeon" Polygamy isnt a bad idea. Who wants a man in your house 24/7? Please go and visit the other three ladies...just make sure to scream the right name. :rolleyes:

Castro, Hmmm. I'm not sure who your poking fun at...I'm guessing its me. Listen mental illness exists. Yes, I agree. But so does pseudo-illness and haried pple running amok full of drugs and what not. Incompetent doctors and money hungry pharmecuetical companies more often than not backed my the governemt. We have peope suffering from the 'med student syndrome' diagnosing themselves and thinking their problems should be categorized as diseases. Those people are coming to far outnumber those with real issues! Ma fahantey? Its definitely not healthy and we shouldnt support it. When you give the control to someone outside yourself and look for relief in medical labels...then you basically give up or stick your head in the sand.

It's really sad the way a woman is made to feel ashamed of being raped. That single act would effect the rest of her life---her confidence, self esteem, sense of security, her health (stds?) relationshiops, intimacy with future spouse. It's not something to be taken lightly and most people would rather be silent than be treated as if they pulled up their skirts and directed the rapist to their crotch. Unfortunately thats how many woman are viewed when she confesses ....what were you doing? where were you? what were you wearing? did you do anything to provoke him? did you seek his attention? When the most important question should be....can you direct him to me? & how much torture should I apply before I kill him? Personally if I was raped (God forbid) I wouldn't tell anyone. I'd rather keep my 'shame' inside and go on with my life. Because more often than not, the rapist isnt convicted or gets out of jail in less than 5 years while the stigma stick you the woman's for the rest of her life.

^ So, now the question is, WHY? How many people have I heard that claim since their parents spanked them when they were little...they got traumatised and seek endless therapy to work out their problems. Excuse me? Spanking? Oh boy. I wish they had somali parents...not only can you parents beat you within an inch of your life...but so could your relatives, neighbours, teachers when you deserved it. I didnt get traumaticed. Neither did the majority of people. Surely everyone has problems in life....but what makes some more resilient than others (when race & class are accounted for)?

Interesting already. I like my news uncensored please.

^Exactly. Bingo. What I'm trying to say that when people start labelling themselves or others, often times the individual takes the label as real and can therefore become whatever the label implied and not because they were already an "addict" or a "failure" (also known as the self-fulfilling prophecy). Living in a society where the majority of the population lacks self-esteem to deal with personal issues can also be a factor. People generally put their trust in health professionals when it comes to their mental as well as physical well-being. Therefore the blame of diminished responsibility of personal issues can just as well be placed on society and its abundance on these professionals who promise to "sort you out" and at the same time have a nice name for your little problem.

For the adoption article...it seemed to me that the author was more appalled at the thought of aborting on the basis of future disability of the child rather than the act of abortion itself. I would think she would be horrified at the aborting of fetuses, whether healthy or disabled. & for the poly-relationship article...that may disgust us...but how does one refute a person who compares that to polygamy? :confused: The world is getting disgusting by the day honestly. Next people having s*x with their pets would want to come out of the 'closet' and protest to be accepted without prejudice. Oh Lord!

Somalis have lil understading of Depression and any psychoneurotic disorders hence they take it lightly or ridicule it.. Yeah, and somalis tend to twist a person's words to suit them insted of asking for an explanation! :rolleyes: [not directed at zu] FYI I'm talking about unnecessary labeling, such as classifying energic kids as having ADHD (attention defecit/hyperactivity disorder) and pumping them full of drugs so parents don't have to deal with them. Instant gratification culture...full of people wanting instant results instead of getting to the root of the problem. They'd rather diagnose themselves and go around pretending they have no control and its not their fault. Or drug, drugs, drugs. But hey! At least the pharmacutical companies & the government are benefitting. I didnt say anything about true mental/psychological/emotional disorders/issues. Tahliil & Castro, I'm sorry my heart isn't bleeding. I tend to leave my sympathy for people who really need it.

Does anyone notice the stup!d trend in labeling every personal issue as a disease or 'medical' problem inorder to take responsibilty for their actions and control away from themselves? Everything nowadays is an addiction and they need 'professinal help' ex. sex addiction, gambling addiction, food addiction. It makes it sound so grand after putting addiction behind it doesnt it? Oh wow...poor them. Not because they're promiscious, stup!d, or lazy. I forgot the other labels. But I'm sick of them. If I have to hear one more label....

^Thats a good enough reason. There is a hadith in which the Propeht himself granted a woman divorce from her husband (who adored her...and used to run after her profusing his love) simply because she said she had no feelings for him. (4) See Qur'an 2:229 in the light of the following hadith: "The wife of Thabit bin Qays came to the Prophet and said, "Messenger of God, I do not reproach Thabit bin Qays in respect of character or religion but I do not want to be guilty of kufran regarding Islam (meaning that she did not like him enough as a marriage partner and so was afraid she might not give him the respect and love due to a husband)." God's Messenger asked her if she would give back to Thabit his garden, and when she replied that she would, he told him to accept the garden and declare the divorce." (Bukhari, Nasa'i, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah and Bayhaqi, on the authority of Ibn Abbas) Marriage in Islam (From the site Islam: The Modern Religion --->check the pretty good intro.) The divorce initiated by the wife is known as khu" (if the husband is not at fault) and entails the wife giving her dowry to end the marriage because she is the "contract" breaker. In the instance of talaq where the husband is the "contract" breaker, he must pay the dowry in full in cases where all or part of it was deferred. In the case that the husband is at fault and the woman is interested in divorce, she can petition a judge for divorce, with cause. She would be required to offer proof that her husband had not fulfilled his responsibilities. The judge would make that determination based on the facts of the case and the law of the land. It the woman had specified certain conditions in her marriage contract, which were not met by the husband, she could obtain a conditional divorce. There has been much distortion and propagation of mistruth about a woman's rights in the matters of marriage and divorce. It is only with self-education and awareness of the Qur'anic text that both men and women can come to know the truth of what God has prescribed and to evaluate the scholarly interpretations closely to ensure that the spirit of justice is carried out: Islam does not oblige a wife to accept sharing her husband with another woman. In case she cannot, she has the liberty to seek divorce. Ladies, KNOWLEGE IS POWER. Power to the women! *raises fist*

Its depressing.

Nur has been championing the womens cause in SOL from the word go. I dont remember the last time one of your gang (sheh, aero,fame et al) brought a serious debate about womens issues. You are all too busy raising worthless chit-chat topics like butt firming exercises. This is the reason men like nur have to raise these issues time and again. Uhuh. I hope 'fame' isnt a misspelling of my name. Cause if it is, I'll knock you sideways before you have the chance to edit.