Already mentioned these two cities but to answer this question, I always answer After Somalia, Xamar Cadeey and Kismaayo two places that I spent time in before the war occured, so they have special place in my heart, may Allah bring peace to our homeland. My folks are from Caabudwaaq and Gaalkacyo.

LOL@wa kacsi wadnaha gaaray, and to think girls are actually shedding tears for the same guys that hold these views ohh the irony, okay a bad attempt at a joke on others pain i know. But honestly on the topic, I would be those "other girls" you mentioned Chocolate, except its not a role that I would be playing, just how I see it. I personally can't fathom the shedding tears and pain and all that for nin, la gartay my husbandkayga nin aan aduunyo is la so marneey and for whatever reason we separated, I can understand that, however other than that, it beats me honestly. But we are all different. True2truth, walaal somali men at the end of the day are our sons, you may think your only speaking bad about the men, but no it reflects on the women as well, heads and shoulders here.

Is it really a matter of getting intoxicated or not? For example, touching a beer can/wine or even being involved in such work dealing with alcohol, one will not be intoxicated, but still deep down there is something there which says it's rather wrong and on the haram side even to come near it, forget putting it on a part of your body. Of course there are many products which contain these contents, the dilemma is being sure what is what, if there ever can be clear certainty that is. I know of that hadith, but scholars have been divided on the issue, I still follow it myself when pressed for time, but there is a little voice of doubt there that I can't seem to get rid of. And Allah Knows Best.

I came across an article on a muslim website (strangly enough this late). A while ago I had a conversation with a friend, her make-up and the "stress" of making wudu. I use the word strange because I never even stopped to think about the little things, such as "hidden" ingredients which are contained in everyday items we use, such as lip gloss, moisturizers, hair gel, and so on. So I dig in my purse pull out my lip gloss, read the ingredients and found this: oleyl alcohol, afterwards I search dear google and was unable to find a discussion on the web on this topic, except for the website below, which gave me more questions than answers. The website stated, it's halal only if from plant base and not animal base, well there is no number on the back of my lip gloss to call and gain access to that information. Just wondering anyone ever have these concerns? Hopefully I will get to the bottem of this sooner rather than later, but It's very important to perfect our deen. And there just seems to be so much misinformation. Another point that has been bothering me and I've come across conflicting views, is making wudu and afterwards if the wudu becomes broken, it's permissible to just wash over your socks, some people say it must be leather and not just the regular socks or your wudu will be void. May Allah forgive us. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oleyl_alcohol http://www.yanabi.com/forum/messageview.cfm?catid=68&threadid=1787&enterthread=y

I am not sure I caught the brother’s advice; it seems to me he didn’t leave a whole lot of choices to the young lady. Misyar marriage which he rightfully concluded is not a true marriage and lacks fulfillment, being second/third wife to an already married man, visiting a “ Faarax populated area”, or even joining NGO's, and maybe just maybe Allah may Grant her a husband. All of this in hopes of finding a husband, sounds very demoralizing and daunting wouldn’t you say? It’s important to get to the root cause of these communal ills, and it is a plague in this community if many children are growing up without their fathers or with a father whom isn’t involved in their lives. If the typical “Somal Faarax comes home for food and sleeping and spending all his precious time with buddies” as the poster stated than perhaps the single woman who invested in this unstable character by marrying him from the start, is sleeping in the bed she made for herself and should’ve known better? Just in case my point maybe lost in translation, what I am trying to say it’s very important in laga fiirsado, as my hooyo always says, whom you marry as a young woman and not rush into something as serious as marriage on shaky ground, which seems to be the case for many. Granted, divorces may still occur even by making "all the right choices", but the chances will be greatly reduced. And this applies to both first-timers or second/third/fourth and so on timers, your value doesn't diminsh simply because a previous marriage did not work out for whatever reason. Go about it the smart way, where you finish depends on where you begin, in this case whom you begin with.

@What was the reason for the altercation? Mind telling us the reason behind yours? Personally never fought a good friend of mines, it would never reach that point for me in any case and knowing myself, I don't think I am an easy forgiver either and everything going back to "the way they used to be", it just wouldn't be that simple.

@Maybe Somali men need to take a look in the mirror if they want to know why their women seem to dislike them so, and as far as the 'plenty of successful [ ] Somali men' xaggee joogaan addeer, when 90% or more [% came from XX number of observation] of college graduates are Somali females? It is just given a Somali woman would want a man who is her equal. A man who doesn't bring dry ***** alone, but brings education, passion and beauty. But that is just my opinion. I would agree with this statement to a degree. It reminds me of a similar segment I watched about successful college educated African American women and the lack of finding quality in their counterparts of African American men. Although the women ideally preferred their own race, they were finding it difficult to find mates in their ethnic population. Here’s where it gets a little tricky for our community. I am not sure about the statistics at this moment in time of college educated Somali women that are marrying outside of their race, often times than not, it’s those that have little or no command of the English language. (Disclaimer: Knowing English does not equate knowledge, only used for illustration purposes). Also it's important to note, this is not a phenomenon as the title suggests, so let's not exaggerate and make that distinction. Further, there is so much wrong with these statements: @ps. *whispers to the girls* keep your distance from black reverts, much easier life and a lot less chances of a black eye. @Just last Friday I saw this half white/half Somali kid....the kid was drop dead gorgeous Emphasis on black convert is a bad choice for marriage and children mixed with white equals beauty. Yes it's an opinion and everyone is entitled to an opinion, however these opinions and I've come across them a plenty, fit into the school of thought which says: “white is right”. (good, civil, beauty, ect ect). Often times (although will be denied by the Proud Somalis) imbedded in the subconscious of Africans and their decedents.

^Mr. Gello there is a good hint maybe in to why. Are majority of Somali guys polygamist? Seems like it's common that I hear these days, na heeblayo's ninkeeda midkalo buu guursade. I always thought it was the older reer baadiyo folks, but seems to be somekind of macho thing to do now. ps: Will you people (you know who you are, those that scream "somalinimo is dead") give it a rest already! Keep it to yourself, it's quite depressing. Somalinimo is alive in many of us alhamdullah.

I do hope a large percentage of our Muslim Somali Community attends, since it's in Ohio. There will also be a discussion about our Somali Community at the convention. Anyone going or have been to an ISNA convention before? I haven't been to one in ages. Can't wait Insha-Allah. http://www.isna.net/assets/conventions/programs/convention08programv3.0.pdf

^That is a good question, sorry not an economic person myself. But the post by Zaylici really caught my eye in regards to the relationship between the figures of livestock and population and I have had these thoughts for a while now. Although I haven't doubled checked the figures personally or sure of their accuracy, however and I don't know if anyone has mentioned this before, but the figures of livestock-which should equal wealth and self-sufficiency for the given population, is a lot larger than the population itself, yet people are starving even with this wealth.?

LOL@ madax dhana wac wac i dhaho... @AAliyah, LOOL I am domestically challenged and cooking and I just don't get along, and they are not just healthy they are GOOOOOOOOD, among my favorite foods .speaking of health i am always amazed at the lack of fruits and veggies in Somali Menu.

You guys dislike all the healthy foods, digir-beans is one of my favorite foods, when it's cooked, I think is it called "dalac", with species and veggies, mmmmm yum. Of course I can't cook at all and eat hooyos. Soor/ugali is great too, I like it with the special milk that is used. Alhamdullah that we are blessed to have something to eat. May Allah give all the Muslims a blessed Ramadan.

Unknown is the case of a little knowledge is a dangerous thing. Very sad story, this usually happens in war-torn countries, (not to mention the rapes subhan-Allah.) People are poor and desperate. Peace keepers bring nothing but trouble and corruption as evident from the impact of "peacekeepers" especially in these poor nations, capitalizing on others misfortune. may Allah help us.

Mushari is oatmeal. LOL, it's not that deep.

^^I thought this was ramblings of a "bitter feminist", why concern yourself with the topic yet once again? Beats me. To your above post, Username, that is your interpretation. The masjid is the heart of the Muslim Community it has been in the time of the Prophet scw and it should for all Muslim generations afterwards. Space is not the issue here, since more space can always be provided. But rather due to these interpretations, the deliberate attempt to limit or even erase the presence of half of the community mind you in the House of God, that my friend is the issue at hand. For further more detailed information, you may want to view this youtube video about the issue. Hope you gain insight from it, if that is possible at all.

I am afraid I can’t hear you, that’s rather hard to do over a computer screen, but I can see what you have written and well walaalkiis to be frank it’s quite juvenile.

You are still too vague mister Yaabka-Yaabkiis. Be more specific, give examples of your points in that case it will be easier to engage the topic.

Thank you AAliyah Will look for it at the Indian/international stores. I don't believe its found at any grocery store, maybe only in Toronto.

^Exactly. About the organizers in Toronto or the similar one lead by Amina Wadud in NY, it's unfortunate in my view.It is one thing to strive for change in the hopes of transforming our communities for the better, by breaking down the barriers and the double standards that exist within this ummah, a whole another ball game in taking these steps outside of the framework of the Sunnah. Now, it maybe argued that the steps taken by the organizers are within the framework of the Sunnah, but there is just not enough evidence to support that claim. Change has to be sought but it’s vital to stay within the framework of the Sunnah. @Blessed, I have been to UAE myself and personally saw no difference between the masjids I’ve been to and some of their counterparts in the West, the only difference in this case was the walls were a lot thicker and strangely enough the vast majority of female attendees were Somali Women. However, it just may have been my experience since I was there for a brief time and visited two masjids within the same vicinity. The source of this brilliant write-up is Jamerican Muslimah, and hbelow is a more lively discussion on her blog, although too much focus on the masjid than I would have liked. Blessed you may have come across her entry on Somalis in the Twin Cities, if you haven’t it’s an interesting one, rather generalizing but nonetheless interesting. http://jamericanmuslimah.wordpress.com/2008/04/06/muslim-male-privilege-checklist/

That’s rather vague. How do you see them improving? What do you mean by past exactly? Is it 20 years ago, 50 years, 100 years ago? And are you contrasting Somali Women in the West with Somali Women back home? Be more descriptive.

Wonders if someone would be kind enough to tell me what is a jojoba oil? Is it olive oil by any chance? My hair is extremely dry, I usually it keep in braids so not to be bothered too much with it.

Brilliant. I found this from a blog. As a Muslim man: 1. I can set foot in any masjid I like. No one will stop me at the door and tell me that I am not allowed in the masjid. 2. When I attend Jumah prayer I know that I will have full access to the main prayer hall. I can enter through the front door and I am not required to sit behind a partition, one-way mirror or placed in a separate room. Also, I can see and hear the Imam when he is giving the kutbah (sermon). I do not have to worry about a speaker or closed-circuit system malfunctioning thereby preventing me from hearing the kutbah or seeing the Imam. 3. My voice is not interpreted as being a part of my awrah (parts of the body that are not meant to be exposed in public.) I can stand up and speak freely in an Islamic gathering. I can ask questions or challenge statements made by the imam or visiting speaker without worrying that my actions will be viewed as inappropriate. I am not told that I must write any questions I have onto a piece of paper. 4. I can use my position as a sheikh, scholar or imam to perpetuate my own sexist, misogynistic beliefs as long as I incorporate those beliefs into my interpretation of the Quran and the Sunnah. When others challenge me about my beliefs I can use my Islamic education, command of the Arabic language and position in the community to effectively silence them. If the dissenters are women, I can always make them seem crazy, emotional or neurotic. I can also accuse them of being influenced by the West, Western secularism, Feminism or “the Kufaar.” 5. If I do not dress in accordance with Islamic guidelines, for the most part, I am left alone by Muslims of both genders. Few people will approach me and inquire about the way in which I am dressed. I will not be written off as a “bad Muslim” nor will my dress code be used as an excuse to prevent me from attending the masjid or other Islamic functions. 6. Interpretations of Quran and Ahadith, fatwas, kutbahs, and Islamic books are often biased in favor of my gender. The body of scholarship produced by members of my gender is available and accessible to all. Their texts, legal opinions and names have not been ignored or virtually erased from Islamic history. 7. When I read a book about marriage, my rights and responsibilities or gender dynamics in Islam, the author is almost always the same gender as me. It is the same when I wish to contact a scholar in regards to any questions I might have. 8. If I have problems in my marriage I can go to an Imam for counseling services and I don’t have to be concerned about sexism or his “traditional” views of women. 9. If I become visibly upset during a marriage counseling session, I am not told that I am too emotional and therefore incapable of thinking logically or making major decisions about my marriage. On the contrary, any decisions I make are presumed to be well thought-out. 10. If I wish to end my marriage, my decision is not scrutinized by an imam or other members of the Muslim community. It is respected as the final one. I am not denied a divorce or told to make tremendous personal sacrifices in order to remain in the marriage. 11. When I convert to Islam, if I have the means (or the financial support of others), I can travel aboard to predominately Muslim countries in order to seek Islamic knowledge. I can be sure that my gender will not be a hindrance any way. At the same time, no one will ever tell me that I must wait until I am married in order to begin my travels. 12. I can stand up for the rights Allah has given me or challenge interpretations of those rights without people associating me with secularist Muslim movements. 13. If I cannot have children or suffer from a condition that interferes with my ability to have sexual intercourse I do not have to worry about my wife taking a second husband. Even if/when she decides to divorce me I can be sure that an imam or other community members will ask her to reconsider her decision. 14. If I am struggling with the temptation to fornicate, I know that I can discuss my predicament with an Imam or other Muslim men without fear that they will think I’m lewd or promiscuous. 15. I am not a visible representative of Islam. When I interact with non-Muslim colleagues, co-workers and members of the general public they may not necessarily know that I am a Muslim. Unless I make my religion/ethnicity known, I am not subjected to a barrage of questions about Islam, Muslims and my gender’s status in the religion. (The exception here would be Muslim men who don a thobe, turban, and wear a lengthy beard. Also, brothers who clearly appear to be Indian/Pakistani or Arab in the eyes of the public). 16. When a visiting scholar/imam comes to the masjid, by virtue of the seating arrangements (men in the front, no partition between the speaker and the men), I am able to speak with him face-to-face. I do not have to worry about crossing into “the women’s space” in order to ask a question or to make a comment.

^Ninkaani wa show walaalee no amount of wisdom you share will seek in, Blessed reply should have ended his little tirade. And oh I very much understand what u mean by the "Somali Intellectuals", bari hore mid qatar iska dhigayo because he had some degree ba rabee in u ii shukaansado, kulaha "accent ma lihii sida cadaanka o kale" walahi his accent was terrible, and the jess jess sidu iska siinayo, made me want to gag. Inalilahi Alle daadkisa badana. Next time you go to one of those meeting walla runta u sheeg.

^^Seriously walaal, do you actually believe this? Would you also bar women (let's pretend if you had power) from education, employment, land ownership? Further, the hadith you quoted, do you know whom Abu Bakrah is and the history behind that particular single hadith? Perhaps you should use your critical thinking skills.

Salams Ibtisam, IA all is well. LOL@ avoiding Somalis for peace and quiet, Ameen to that. Your thinking would be right, there are not many if anything it’s the opposite with our community since wherever Somalis have congregated outside the homeland, we tend to stick together. Somalis just like to exaggerate and would make one believe, if one or two people marry outside their race (totally their business by the way) than this would be exaggerated ten fold. My point was in regards to individuals whom stick their nose down at daadkoda as “unsophisticated”, usually opting for other cultures such as Arab, Hindi, Western as superior. These individuals usually also have color complex. And having conversations with them is annoying, suprised you haven't come across people with this mentality, I have more than I would like to. @ Che, really? That’s nice to know. Never heard of anyone with the name Ashkiro, other than my beloved ayeeyo. I agree it's a lovely classic bargi hore-Somali name.