BinLaden9151: hello XprezbushX: who is this BinLaden9151: osama XprezbushX: thats a funny name BinLaden9151: at least its not bush lol XprezbushX: shut up BinLaden9151: did u get my message XprezbushX: whut message BinLaden9151: u know, my message BinLaden9151: it wuz delivered by airmail BinLaden9151: right into ur trade towers XprezbushX: shut up that wasnt funny BinLaden9151: lol XprezbushX: SHUT UP!!!! BinLaden9151: r u mad XprezbushX: yah BinLaden9151: why?????? XprezbushX: u messed with my country BinLaden9151: well now u know how i feel XprezbushX: whut do u mean BinLaden9151: other countries and forces hurt my people all the time XprezbushX: hello!!! whut duz that have 2 do with us BinLaden9151: like u give guns and money and missiles and stuff 2 a lot of those people XprezbushX: oic XprezbushX: but ur terrorists, how can u speak out against violence BinLaden9151: jeez u label anybody who goes against injustice a terrorist BinLaden9151: i bet if u were picking on my little brother and i punched u youd start screaming TERRORIST! TERRORIST! XprezbushX: i never touched ur little brother XprezbushX: besides there r other, more civilized ways 2 battle injustice BinLaden9151: ur missing the point XprezbushX: whutz the point anyway BinLaden9151: i love my people like brothers and ur military is all up in our holy land!!! 1 BinLaden9151: its pissing us off XprezbushX: whatever dude XprezbushX: is that all BinLaden9151: no BinLaden9151: another thing is, imperialistic american globalization is a raging torrent thats going to wash away our borders, our cultures and our identities XprezbushX: whut do u mean BinLaden9151: im afraid that tomorrow im going to wake up and see a mcdonalds next to my mosque BinLaden9151: and ur troops will be like, relax yall, just have a happy meal!! XprezbushX: so whut r u wearing BinLaden9151: ??? XprezbushX: sorry wrong window lol BinLaden9151: lol XprezbushX: ok so whut were u saying BinLaden9151: like BinLaden9151: basically BinLaden9151: a lot of all the jets and tanks and gunships that terrorize us might as well be painted red, white and blue XprezbushX: a/s/l BinLaden9151: ??? XprezbushX: sorry wrong window again BinLaden9151: WHY DONT EVER LISTEN TO ME!! BinLaden9151: THE ONLY WAY I CAN GET THROUGH TO U IS BY BLOWING SOMETHING UP!! XprezbushX: hello r u there BinLaden9151: YESS!! XprezbushX: u started all this anyway BinLaden9151: did not! XprezbushX: u did too! BinLaden9151: u started it!! XprezbushX: lalalala XprezbushX: i cant hear u BinLaden9151: i will make ur life a living hell XprezbushX: haha ur acting like a 13 year old girl who just got her phone taken away BinLaden9151: shut up BinLaden9151: ur immature XprezbushX: no u r BinLaden9151: i know u r but what am i XprezbushX: LALALALALALALA XprezbushX: cant hear u BinLaden9151: SHUT UP XprezbushX: NO U SHUT UP XprezbushX: relax, have a happy meal lol BinLaden9151: ARRRGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!11 XprezbushX: i think our blind rage is obscuring solutions--can we set aside our feelings and just talk about this like civilized humans?? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Previous message was not received by BinLaden9151 because of error: User BinLaden9151 is not available.

Sohail invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Sohail's flatmate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Sohail and his flatmate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, Sohail volunteered, I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Noreen and I are just flatmates." About a week later, Noreen came to Sohail saying "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver chutney jar. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" "Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: Dear Mother, I'm not saying that you 'did' take the chutney jar from my house, I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the chutney jar. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were herefor dinner. Love, Sohail Several days later, Sohail received an email from his Mother which read: Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Noreen and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Noreen. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the chutney jar by now. Love, Mom --------------------------------------------- Lesson of the day .....Don't Lie to Your Mother especially if she is muslim

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He'd rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the young businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I've come to install the phone!"

A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous and sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her. The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare and walked directly toward him. Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100 on one condition." Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was. The young woman replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman's hand. He looked into her eyes and slowly, meaningfully said, "Paint my house."

A man is a person who, if a woman says, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," lets her. A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her, gets mad. A man is a person who, if a woman says to him, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her and she get mad, says, "Now what are you mad about?". A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, "Never mind, I'll do it myself," and he lets her and she get mad, and he says, "Now what are mad about?" says "If you don't know why I;m mad at you I'm not going to tell you."

Last year a friend of mine upgrade Girlfriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 and found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for other applications. He is only now noticing that Wife 1.0 also is spawning Child-Processes which are further cunsuming valuable resources. No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the product brochure or the documentation, though other users have informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the application. Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other system activity. He's finding that some application such as PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 9.2 are no longer able to run, crashing the system when selected (even though they always worked very well before). At installation, Wife 1.0 automatically installs undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 61.4 and sisterInLaw Beta release. As a consequence system performence seems to diminish with each passing day. Some feature he'd like to see in the upcoming Wife 2.0 A "Don't remind me again" button Minimize button An install sheild feature that allows Wife 2.0 to be installed with the options to be uninstall at anytime with out the loss of cache and other system resources An option to run network driver in promiscuous mode which would allow the system hardware probe feature to have greater use I myself decided to avoid all the headaches associated with Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 3.0. Even here, however, I found many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 3.0 on top of Girlfiend 2.0. There is no option button to just upgrade. Then only you install Girlfriend 3.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 2.0 first. Other users say that this is a long standing bug which I should have been aware of. Apparently that versions of Girlfriend have conflicts over shared use of the I/O port. You think thay would have fixed such a stupid bug by now. To make matters worse, the uninstall program for Girlfriend 2.0 doesn't work very well leaving undesirable traces of the application in the system. Another annoying problem -- all versions of Girlfriend continually pop up annoying messages about the advantages to upgrading to Wife 1.0 ***** BUG WARNING ***** Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.0 before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before executing a self - uninstallation. Then Mistress 1.0 will refuse to be install in the system due to lack of resources. ***** BUG WORK-AROUND ***** To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.0 on a different system and never run any file transfer application such as Laplink 6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been know to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0. Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.0 via a UseNet provider under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which can accidentally be downloaded from the UseNet.

Dear Chick Software I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I've been having some problems lately. I've been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0, forever,as my primary application, and all the GirlFriend releases I've tried have always conflicted with it. I hear that DrinkingBuddies runs fine as long as GirlFriend is run in background mode and the sound is turned off. Unfortunately, I can't find the switch to turn the sound off. Therefore, I have to run them separately. GirlFriend also seems to have a problem coexisting with my Golf program, often trying to abort Golf with some sort of timing incompatibility. On a positive note, DrinkingBuddies and Golf seem to have no incompatibilities whatsoever. I probably should have stayed with GirlFriend 1.0, but I thought I might see better performance from GirlFriend 2.0. After months of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had experience with GirlFriend 2.0. He said I probably didn't have enough cache for GirlFriend 2.0, and eventually it would require a Token Ring. He was right - as soon as I purged my cache, and realized that no one in their right mind is installing new Token Rings, Girlfriend 2.0 uninstalled itself. Shortly after that, I installed GirlFriend 3.0 beta. Unfortunately, there was a bug in the program and the first time I used it, it gave me a virus. I had to clean out my whole system and shutdown for awhile. Very cautiously, I upgraded to GirlFriend 4.0. This time I used a SCSI probe first and also installed a virus protection program. It worked okay for a while until I realized I had not completely removed GirlFriend 1.0 from my system. I tried running GirlFriend 1.0 again with GirlFriend 4.0 still installed, but GirlFriend 4.0 has a feature I didn't know about that automatically senses the presence of any other version of GirlFriend and communicates with it in some way. This results in the immediate removal of both versions. The version I have now works pretty well, but there are still some problems. Like all versions of GirlFriend, it is written in some obscure language I can't understand, much less reprogram. Frankly I think there is too much attention paid to the look and feel rather than the desired functionality. Also, to get the best connections with your hardware, you usually have to use gold-plated contacts. And I've never liked how GirlFriend is "object-oriented." A year ago, a friend of mine upgraded his version of GirlFriend to GirlFriendPlus 1.0, which is a Terminate and Stay Resident version of GirlFriend. He discovered that GirlFriendPlus 1.0 expires within a year if you don't upgrade to Fiancee 1.0. So he did, but soon after that, he had to upgrade to Wife 1.0, which he describes as a huge resource hog. It has taken up all his space. One of the primary reasons he decided to go with Wife 1.0 was because it supposedly came bundled with a feature called FreeSexPlus. Well, it turns out the resource requirements of Wife 1.0 sometimes prohibits access to FreeSexPlus ... particularly the new Plug-Ins he wanted to try. On top of that, Wife 1.0 must be running on a well warmed-up system before he can do anything. Although he did not ask for it, Wife 1.0 came with MotherInLaw which has an automatic pop-up feature he can't turn off. I told him I have heard some people have tried solving of these problems by installing Mistress 1.0, but he said he heard you must first uninstall Wife 1.0, or Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files before uninstalling itself. Then Mistress 1.0 won't install because of insufficient resources. Please help me. ------------------------------------------- Note: Sisters and Brothers I don't mean anything with those jokes... I just wanna have good time and share it with ya guys Ismahan...

If you have Boyfriend 6.0 on a UnitMale stsyem 1.1, you must have MemoryBooster, version 1.31 installed. Out of the box UnitMale System contains Memory Cards which are inadequate to run Boyfriend 6.0 corectly. Boyfriend 6.0 is the enhance version of Boyfriend 5.0. This version fixes a number of bugs such as the special Event Memory Leaks Poor status and monitoring Intermitten operation of Callback feature Future features for implementation: Remote reboot feature Remote status monitoring Remote cache access Outstanding reported bugs not slated for fix at this time: Inadequate cleanup feature Response lags, slow acknowledgement packets Sporadic dropping of communication packets Limited voice interface when used near sporting broadcasts constat need for reconfiguration of custom sttings As the case for all versions of software for UnitMale Systems documentation in non-existent. NOTE: If you upgrade from Boyfriend 6.0 to Husband 1.0 please note the folliwing performence hits: Response time suffers Memory leaks increase With multitasking feature enable, continued degrading of performence Increased networking during football season Bug influenza dramatically increases need for custom support Maintenance needs increase dramatically overtime User interface as compared to Boyfriend 6.0 is much less user friendly

Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. Signed: Desperate Wife (keep reading) -----Reply Separator----- Dear Desperate Wife, Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command: C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to GrumpySilence 2.5, Happyhour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create "Snoring Loudly" wave files. DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Keep-a-nice-body 10.1.

Well Hanad, Thanks first for ur reply, and it is healthy to admit women's faults although i am one of them! I wish u guys could one day do that.... About paying my rent thanks dear I would be more happy paying it my self!!!! Salam bro.... See ya around

HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours! SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon .i've been looking for a facelike yours!!! ------------------------------------------ HE: Hi! Didn't we go on a date once? or was it twice? SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice!!! --------------------------------------------- HE: How did you get to be so beautiful? SHE: I must've been given your share!!! --------------------------------------------- HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday? SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!! --------------------------------------------- HE: Your face must turn a few heads! SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs!!! --------------------------------------------- HE: Go on ,don't be shy. Ask me out! SHE: Okay, get out!!! --------------------------------------------- HE: I think I could make you very happy SHE: Why? Are you leaving? --------------------------------------------- HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me? SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!! --------------------------------------------- HE: Can I have your name? SHE: Why, don't you already have one? --------------------------------------------- HE: Shall we go and see a film? SHE: I've already seen it!!! --------------------------------------------- HE: Do you think it was fate which brought us together? SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck!!! --------------------------------------------- Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you. ---------------------------------------------Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore. --------------------------------------------- Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down. --------------------------------------------- Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter. --------------------------------------------- Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there? --------------------------------------------- Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams.