Baashi, Thanks for those words walaal and the assingment. I'll make the time, insha Allah. I want to make it clear that I'm very appreciative of e-Nuri and the fact that Nur takes the time to share his wisdom with us. I don't think I've gained as much knowledge from any other cyber personality. I hope, Nur doesn’t take my words as a personal attack of some sort. However, I feel that certain issues like this need to be addressed in an objective manner as more is at stake here. Salaams

^Spoilsport! :rolleyes: I hate long articles, but it has to be done! Dying to Fit In- Literally! Learning to Love Our Bodies and Ourselves By Christine Hartline, MA Today in America you can be whatever you want to be - any dream can be accomplished as long as you pursue it. We have economic security and we live in a peaceful and prosperous nation! We live in the land of opportunity, rich with culture and diversity, the land of the free! The question I pose is - "is America the land of the free, especially for women?" With all the freedom and prosperity we enjoy women still remain prisoners. "Prisoners", you ask, what do you mean? Women are enslaved to a beauty myth, chained to the false belief that our value is based on our appearance alone. In the United States approximately 10% of girls and women (numbering up to 10 million) are suffering from diagnosed eating disorders. Of these at least 50,000 will die as a direct result! Recent data reported by the American Psychiatric Association suggests that of all psychiatric disorders, the greatest excess of patient mortality due to natural and unnatural causes is associated with eating disorders and substance abuse. How did this problem reach such epidemic proportions? Why are we dieting ourselves to death, literally dying to fit in? When did we become so ashamed of our bodies, when did we learn to hate them so much? While eating disorders claim lives and significantly impact the health and well being of sufferers, as we investigate further an even more disturbing picture emerges. An amazing 80% of women are dissatisfied with their appearance. These numbers are staggering! Surely they cannot be correct! How and why could we have learned such contempt for our bodies and ourselves? Eating disorders are complex and understanding their etiology requires complex interventions by professionals. In this article I want to examine eating disorders in the context of the questions I posed above. Why are women attacking their bodies? Where did we learn that our self worth is measured by external factors - by numbers on a scale? The answer lies in constant, subtle attacks on our bodies. These attacks wear us down, shake our confidence and esteem. We loose our sense of self, individuality and fall victim to narrow definitions of beauty defined by the media. The media acts as a propaganda machine determined to shake our confidence, remind us we aren't good enough, we haven't made it, that we just simply do not measure up. In a recent poll by People magazine 80% of women reported that the images of women of TV and in movies, fashion magazines ad advertising make them feel insecure about their looks. In addition, the poll indicated that women are made to feel so insecure that they are willing to try diets that pose health risks (34%), go "under the knife" (34%) and 93% indicated they had made various and repeated attempts to lose weight to measure up to the images. Why is the media bent on making us feel so down about ourselves? Why do they go to such lengths to make us feel "less than?" The answer is quite simple - pure economics. The media machine is economically driven as billions are spent on items such as cosmetics, new diets and clothes. This "beautifying" empire is dependent on our disempowerment. They count on us buying into their myths and misrepresentations: "we will never fit it, we can never be happy, thus we can never end the pursuit." Alas, the pursuit is endless, the products are endless, the damage to our self-esteem is endless, and the body hatred created is devastating. The assault is unrelenting! The images everywhere. How could it all happen, right under our noses? It is a subtle, continuous bombardment of images of beauty, images defined by profiteers, images that are not real, not authentic, and not attainable. The impact that these images have on women is profound. The financial, social and psychological and physical damages of a woman's lifetime pursuit of thinness are impossible to measure. Depression, despair, depletion of self-esteem, the withering and wasting away of physical, psychological and financial resources are unbelievable. How can we begin to make changes? How can we assess our damage report? We must all take a personal inventory of how our lives have been impacted by these images and how we have fallen victim to these lies and misrepresentations of beauty. By examining how these images have impacted your life you are better equip to avoid falling victim to these myths. You will learn to measure yourself by intrinsic qualities that are of far greater value and are far more beautiful than any image manufactured on a movie screen. I was a victim of these attacks on esteem, on women's power, on our self-worth. I was a prisoner and almost a casualty of this war. If I did not wake-up and take a personal inventory and examine my value system I could have easily sunken into the prison of repeat diets, repeat failure and lifelong contempt for my body. As a prisoner I had to ask myself some tough questions: when did I start to hate my body so much? When did I begin to measure my self-worth by numbers on a scale? When did I fall prey to the idea that beauty is external and success is measured by factors that have little to do with personal strength and spirit? We must be aware of the images presented to us and unmask these images for what they truly are - destructive, superficial and unattainable images. These images do not value our uniqueness, they do not honor our wisdom and our spirit, and they do not measure us. We must reclaim and redefine our bodies as ours. They are miraculous, we all know this! Our bodies perform wonderful feats every day. We are physiological and biological masterpieces. Our bodies are not our enemies - they put us in motion, they create and sustain life. The functions our bodies perform for us are too numerous and varied to list. Vow that you will not longer fall victim to these images and help those around you to the road of self-love and acceptance. Advocate for freedom from body hatred and fight the billion dollar advertising, cosmetic, diet, entertainment and fashion industries - let's stand up for ourselves, our values, our bodies, our lives. We must challenge ourselves, our culture and our children. The stakes are too high to back down. Lives are lost each year as beautiful, healthy young women starve themselves to death. Millions of us are suffering from depression and anxiety as we are bombarded with images of our "faults." It is time to change, change begins from within and radiates out- let's begin. The consequences of body hatred and the serious issue of eating disorders are far to significant and far reaching to be addressed simply by pointing the finger at the media machine. Eating disorders are complex and involved complex interactions of psychological, biological, sociological, and interpersonal factors and do require professional assistance. Further, eating disorders and body hatred impact the lives of millions of men and women. www.EDReferral.com.

I agree with Waterlily. On stay at home moms, has anybody noticed how many Somali women treat their children as a burden, it's really sad. When I was having my baby all they did was tell me about the nightmares and a list of all the sacrifices you must make. I was like nadhaafa, miserable lot!

Salaams, I'd like to get the Xaliimo perspective on this. Please answer the poll Q and share your thoughts. Thanks Most women would rather have a small waist than a big brain By Maxine Frith, Social Affairs Correspondent Published: 09 January 2006 The majority of women would prefer to be slimmer than have a higher IQ, instant wealth or a date with the celebrity of their dreams. Nineteen out of 20 of the female population say that they place a higher priority on having a smaller waist than on their intelligence. From a wish list that included never having money worries again, dating the A-list star of their choice or a genius-level IQ score, 51 per cent of women still plumped for a slimmer figure, according to a survey for the website tescodiets.com. At a time when one in three women is overweight and a further one in five is obese, experts said that there was still too much pressure on the female population to be slim. Barbara Wilson, head of nutrition at tescodiets.com, said: "Women's role models tend to be models and actresses, so there is more emphasis than ever placed upon physical perfection. "These statistics reveal just how much pressure women feel there is to be slim in today's society." The website has identified today as the most popular date in the year for starting a diet following the excesses of Christmas. One in three women admitted that they spend more time worrying about their weight than their finances, jobs or families. And while 29 per cent said their biggest dread was going to the dentist and 16 per cent cited looking for a new job, a massive 40 per cent admitted their worst fear was having to try on clothes in a shop's communal fitting rooms. One on three had lied to their friends about how much they weigh and one in four had tried to deceive their partner about their size. Separate research by the magazine LighterLife has found that nearly half of women give up on their New Year diet within just a week of starting it. One in five female dieters admit that they have hidden food and eaten it in secret while pretending to maintain their new regime. Bar Hewlett, founder of the LighterLife company, said: "Our survey reveals the extent of women's desperation. "There have been women who hide food in the washing machine, under the plastic bag inside a cereal packet and even up their sleeves. "The secret of losing weight and keeping it off is resolving the emotional issues that encourage you to overeat in the first place and having support from people in the same position." The extent to which British women are confused about what the kind of female body they believe to be attractive and what they want for themselves was also revealed last week. Singer Beyoncé Knowles was voted by women as having the sexiest figure, alongside other curvy stars such as Charlotte Church, Dawn French and Nigella Lawson. The survey for the Ann Summers retail chain found that 87 per cent of the female respondents believed that society had an unhealthy obsession with diet and dress size. Deanne Jade, principal of the National Centre of Eating Disorders, said: "Women are inconsistent about how they really feel about their bodies. "They may be able to accept curves on a star, but on their own bodies it just seems like fat." Source

^ Nur, Those policies as Castro kindly pointed out bring us closer to Allah, which we should all be striving for Insha Allah but why are we back to this topic again? :confused: e-Nuri should start focusing on working on raga nolosha ka dhacey ( read Baashis first paragraph) ee hablaha guur la'aanta baday. e-Nuri needs to lounge marriage-counseling workshops to prevent the single mother scenario and must strive to avoid creating fitnah between reeraha nabada ah. Truth is Somali men abuse polygamy, which is an allowance rather then an obligation. These Farah’s that go back home, leaving their wives and children in none-Muslim lands under the care of the government are committing a grave injustice against their families. Most importantly, they are not fulfilling the trust bestowed upon them by Allah. So, I'm prepelexed that e-Nuri fails to address these issues and but picks on the petty and inevitable feelings associated with co-wifing. If the great, righteous Aaisha (ra) was susceptible to those feelings how do you expect a 20th centaury clueless xaliimo that’s married to a selfish Farax to be any better? Finally, I think there are more pertinent issues for e-Nuri to tackle than polygamy. As a committed follower of e-Nuri am starting to feel a little despondent with the biased views on matters pertaining to cross gender interaction. I would thus advice e-Nuri to consult their female subscribers and staff on these issues before completely severing the relationship they have long established with their female subscribers. Sincerely, A dejected e-Nuri fan.

It's not fair, I want to do those courses. They should do online classes and in London too.

^Mansha Allah, Honesita, bonita, that does of your ultimate honesty was needed on this page. Indeed, the scholars are the inheritors of the Prophets and you don't have to agree with them blindly but respect them for the service they do for Islam. Narrated Abdullah bin Amr bin Al-Aas (RA): I heard Allah's Messenger (SAW) saying, "Allah does not take away the knowledge, by taking it away from (the hearts of) the people, but takes it away by the death of the religious learned men till when none of the (religious learned men) remains, people will take as their leaders ignorant persons who when consulted will give their verdict without knowledge. So they will go astray and will lead the people astray" (Summarized Sahih Al-Bukhari: Book 3, Chapter 24, #86). JZK Allah also for the links too, hon. As for the topic, I'm only familiare with Siraj Wahaaj and Rahima has expressed my thaughts of him.

^yeah but, no but... fix up look sharp, it's only a click away . N.B Those web sites are very useful for finalists and graduates in the UK. All you have to do is register and spend a few minutes chewing on the nuggets of wisdom they serve you via email.

Originally posted by Castro: I'll include Burco in this since Blessed, whom I have a peace treaty with, is from there and I'd like to keep our treaty going. Fariid More Words: Cabbiran dayaafad kaafsan diidmada qayaxan ergee

Welcome back Wild-tat I've tried my dads’ macawis on once, but iigumey bixin, it isn't very versatile is it?

^It's a funny thing that you're complaining about Finance. Two nights ago, I was telling a friend that maybe I should've gone into finance. It's not that I like numbers and nor am I about getting rich but everyone over here seems to work in the Financial sector and there are always ads for posts. I’m assuming jobs are abundant. Anyways, if you still want to do ethical NGO work, try Islamic charities like Islamic Relief and those that act as NGO's in the third world– some offer internships. IR was recruiting for a Project coordinator to based in Mogdisho recently - how cool is that? My problem was the scarceness of positions in my field and not competition. The Education sector was evolving into a Minority friendly zone when I’ve entered the job scene and my degree is geared towards Community Education (don’t ask what it is). It’s a different ball game over here, I say Learning Mentor, they respond with a ‘shinoo?’ The most important thing is to go out and get experience whilst still at uni. I’ve worked in a school as Learning Assistant in my final year and not only did that experience help me to link course theory to practice, I also got a wonderful Mentor and a great reference out of it. It is also good to register with several specialist agencies for your field and have them alert you when suitable posts arise. Ibtisam May is only around the corner sis, start looking for work now.

^I agree, obedience should only be on what is halaal and good. Cara You'll find the answers to those questions and more here.

I worry more for the languages spoken by minority tribes, such as Barawaani (chimwini Swahili), Maay, Tunni and others. It upsets me when Somalis run around with their ‘one language’ mantra. It’s not true. What’s worse if you ask people about the languages spoken in Somali, you’ll get Somali, English and Arabic….. full stop. It’s time we recognize and respect the other languages of Somalia and their speakers. As for Somalia in the Diaspora, I know many who are fluent in the language even though they who were born and bred out of Somalia. It’s all about the value parents place in preserving your identity and language. Another factor, is the education system, some systems are designed to either push for assimilation (US) which involves leaving behind ones own culture ( creating an infiriorty complex) and others multiculturalism (UK). In the UK, Somali children can take a GCSE in the Somali language, there are government funded supplementary mother tongue schools and ESL is based on preserving bilingualism rather then creating a monolingual society. It hasn’t always been like this, but after much research, they found bilinguals are actually smarter then monolinguals because they think in two different cultures, which is annother benefit of preserving ones language. The bottom line is politics. If you want take the power away from a people and turn them into nobodies - you take away their language and with that goes their culture and identity and power to assert themselves. p.s Nice topic Castro...

^Ah! Holding on to the fundamentals of my religion makes me ignorant, eh? Wow, thanks for the look out, it's hard to understand anything with this thick hijaab, you know.... Afro baby Many define the Islamic shura as 'representative democracy', so the principles are the same. If instead your talking about a theocracy then its a whole different ball game. Would I be discussing anything else? As a Muslim I don't take on board the concept of separating religion and politics, which is the basic tenet of a democracy and the system advocated by Bush and co for the Muslim world. This is what this writer and many Muslims are resisting. It’s also the reason that he and many of the scholars that speak up on this subject are jailed by the current Islamic leaders…. Anyhow my point is that if you accept that people are different and hold different views on the same subject. Then absolutetism cannot work without at best sideling the concerns of anything or anyone outside the scope of its adherents. Off course, there are challenges as is apparent in Iraq with the sunni/ shia conflict and in many other occasions. Yet, despite sectarian differences and conflicts of interest the majority on both sides (in Iraq) want to be governed by the sharia law. Therefore, the argument that there isn’t an Islamic alternative to secular democracy is absurd.

The link isn't working for moi

So, if democracy is evil, according to this author, what is an Islamically acceptable means of government? Monarchy? Fascism? Communism? Exactly how do you reject something without giving concrete alternatives? The alternative is the Islamic Khilafa and no, I'm not talking about Iran or the K of SA. The author says that democracy is haram because Muslims are forbidden to follow any law but Allah's. But Allah is not literally ruling people from the presidential palace or the White House. At some point humans have to interpret and enforce his laws. That's not what it means, sis /bro. Muslims should follow the sharia law, which is set by Allah (the ultimate legislator). The sharia has room for ijtihad (the Islamic science of individual thought) which comes into practice when there isn’t a clear-cut legislation in Quran / sunnah. According to the sunni methodology, the khalif (muslim leader) has to be either selected or accepted (in the case where he's appointed by the former khalif or a sultanate / monarchy) by the people who are represented by a shura (consultative committee). How is a hereditary monarchy superior to democracy in deciding which law complies with Islam and which doesn't? Hereditary monarchy is actually forbidden in Islam, again, khilafa isn't about Saudi Arabia. These "scholars" get paid to give opinions that comply with their masters, and there's nothing divine about said masters. You don't know that. So, please refrain from making speculations about peoples (scholars)loyalty unless you have concrete prove of any bribery.

FYI! The Muslim aid website is now working, you can donate online using this form. To make a specific donation to Somalia follow these instructions; under the allocations heading select 'sadaqah-emergency' using the 'Type' drop-down menu. Then, in the 'Detail' menu choose 'On-going releif-Somalia' Please tell as many people as you can. . Remember money spent in charity only increases your wealth. May Allah reward you

OMG! The one next to the guy is the carbon copy of my niece :eek: Originally posted by Digaale: Ok, maybe i see something in this pic than all of you. Two kids, one white the other black. Ummm' If i was the father i would be worried. Two kids, one white the other black. ala wareer badanaa' midna waa cadaan midna wey ii egtahay. Walee saxanka waa lawada daarsaday' Somebody else been baking here :confused: grandmother white or black..she aint got nothing to do with the kids. there is extra boots under the bed' One white, one black kix kix kix. Looooooooooool! Not to point fingers here, but some1 needs to go over reproduction 101 It's possible!

Mansha Allah, that's great news, am very happy for her. Please give her my salaams and congrats. Tell her your your tweety pie is thinking of ya May Allah bless them both i'a.

I was always a huge fan of his poetry, enjoy this one.. Too well done Justice has a sensitive belly. I've noticed as a boy. it has no use for me. I am to it like fashion to the homeless. Or an overcoat to the sun. I've learned at an early age, that I am an ambitious meal, waiting to be tasted, but occasions have come and gone. Festivities and bloodstained victories, elaborate celebrations and toasts, in the name of hospital patients and ghosts, in the name of hunger and misery, suffering and diseases, I've seen it all go by, i've heard the crackling fire, the meeting of the glasses, the men in fine attire, the burning cigar ashes. Those were joyous days, angels stripped to beasts, the truth underneath the truth, sold out seats and people, no rights and wrongs, just good points, opinions rush to form like soldiers, and soldiers rush to kill for opinions, that was the age of speech, and communication, in a land where none dare speak, and if a fool made the terrible mistake, someone always screamed, "can we please watch the war in peace" the show must go on, and everyone cheers for thieves, I suppose I am surprised, having endured time, and even wounds from the angel of death, that justice has yet to taste me, touch me and smell my open veins, ignoring me like my own shadow in the sunny mornings, I emember my grandfather, sick and old with wisdom, hammering his last nail into the wood of my old home, his eyes dry of tears, nothing left to cry. He said that I was exotic, but like vomit, I was tough to swallow. we sat in our pot, boiling bothered and hot, him dying, and me aspiring. we dreamt and imagined far away places, where justice ate away faces, and guts and heads and arms too, devouring on their discontent, pecking and licking and chewing on their troubles, gulping on their fears, belching out assurance and security for all. but this does not happen here, justice does not dine here, justice dies here, it cannot take the sun, or the poverty, or the lack of sanitation, but those are only excuses, because really the truth is, my ribs are too sour for it's tongue, my skin is too well done.

The only acceptable racism left: Islamophobia

Monotony leads to depression, depression leads to mental illness, mental illness gives you suicidal thoughts…Boom, bang! p.siwasjokin,don'tgetallthoughtfulonmenow,eh

... you can also die of boredom

^I don't know adeer. I don't see any improvment in the motherland, so I guess, we'll just have to keep moving on like nomads....

I meant that Britain has some very good and accessible universities but not much else to offer us as a (poor) community. Waa sababteynu meesha ugu wada jabney I should know, I’ve been there and bought the t-shirt before packing my bags. As for the article, I agree that some Somalis pupils (particularly boys) are underachieving but the issue is a little exaggerated in the piece. Just ask the UK nomads. Secondly, many Boroughs in London have addressed the problems highlighted by this writer and his recommendations have been put to practice but despite all these efforts those who can’t be bothered, fail. I myself have worked as a community Liaison Officer (Education) for two different Boroughs. In my experience, I found that Somali (parents) demand a lot but don’t like to put much effort in educating their children or themselves. Only sensible children and those with devoted parents succeed, but isn’t that a universal phenomenon?