Not so long ago I went through a stage where I loathed Somali men, bashed men at any given opportunity when I was around my other female companions who shared my logic at that time, I even almost convinced myself that marriage wasn’t for me for I had this negative picture of marrige until by the will of Allah I found a handsome, humorous, intelligent, hard working, endearing Somali brother who introduced to me the beauty of marriage..Alhamdulila.. lol wallahi when I was younger I use to naively think that when older dumar use to say ‘Inan ba soo doonay inantayda’ that they meant a random guy (of high status) who just knows of the girl or a guy who the family is familiar with and is on good terms with the daughter knocks on the door and says ‘’Inantiina i siiya’’ and it was a done deal, but as the years went on I discovered otherwise. One of the things that put me off marriage was the whole process of guur, it frightened me to a whole new level.. Laakiin when it’s meant to be, Allah will make things easy for you..alhamdulila everything went smoothly for me.. Back then I contemplated a few times as to what I’d ‘demand’ for as my meher if I were to ever get married, and once or twice I thought of extravagant gifts but once you have understanding of the deen and you ’re actually in the position of being asked for whatever you like, adiga isla xishooda..I’m not sure about other girls and how they felt. But after I got to know the mashallah brother who’s now my husband, although alhamdulila he had/has a stable job and made/makes a decent salary the thought of putting a burden on him and asking too much of him made me feel some sort of discomfort..so I didn't. I decided what I wanted, discussed it with both my parents, took their advice and asked of him something that I was content with and he was able to provide..alhamdulila. So anyway girls let me tell you this, whoever said ‘’The way to a mans heart is through his stomach’’ didn’t lie..wallahi I swear to you, although my cunto isn’t the best of the best... I do know how much alhamdulila my husband appreciates and enjoys me cooking for him. Not only does it show him compassion after a long days work but it also brings you closer as a married couple..once again alhamdulila And when he finishes eating and he says ‘’Ilaahay khair ha ku siiyo’’ with a huge grin and a satisfied stomach...well lets just say that feeling is priceless..mashallah It's little things that make you smile, like when he comes home from work and he’s bought you xalwad or Vimto because he thinks dhiiga kugu yar lol because you've been feeling a little faint lately and as most Somalis believe Vimto is good for dhiiga (when what I probably need is iron tabs)or when you’re unwell and he rubs your back, or when he questions you a million times if you’ve eaten or not (when in reality I've been stuffing my face with cunto while he's been at work and when he comes I eat a small portion and he says with a genuine/concerned expression ''Is that all you're eating?''), or when you go out not feeling at your best and he reassures you by telling you you look beautiful.. lol I'm getting a tad bit carried away...sorry folks But for real..I'm not saying marrige is one big fairytale but like anything in life, marriage has its ups and downs and I’ve come to realise that by living the way Allah SWT ordered us to live, compromising, communicating, showing mercy to one another, and by appreciating all that we do for one another...the ups definitely outweigh the downs.. So I’m now a few months pregnant alhamdulila and I’m sooooo excited about becoming a Mother Insh’Allah.. Some days doing simple daily chores feels so exhausting, and I’m only starting to actually understand what my own Hooyo went through for me and I haven’t even been through the agonising pains of labour yet (may Allah make it easy for me)..And may Allah grant all our waalid, especially our Mothers the highest level of jannah..ameen. The thought of knowing that when you please your husband, you please your Lord (Insh’Allah) and through that and other righteous deeds ...jannah awaits us INSHALLAH BI IDNILA for indeed we are told that your husband is either your gateway to jannah or your gateway to hellfire... For the unmarried girls, I’d say get married for marriage is half your deen and protects you from a lot of evil..may Allah bless us all with righteous husbands and pious offspring’s...ameen Peace & Love

LOOOOOOL OMG Aaliyah you have made a valid point, I've attended all female aroosyaal too and boy do we all try and outdo one another...hahah

Lol hey Aaliyah, how are you?I’d just like to ask, are you a hijabi as in you wear a headscarf with jeans misa a full on hijabi? (either way Mash’Allah) and I really disagree with girls who say they dress up for themselves(wearing high heels, tight jeans, fitted top etc), I mean if that’s honestly the case why don’t you look good for yourself within the house limits since you are putting on a display for your own naf only?

Hey guys, I hardly post on here this place will have to be my substitute drug *sad face*.....so anyway I came across this group on FB that was basically saying ‘’Girls don’t dress up to impress guys, they do it to outdo other girls’’ and it had me thinking hmmmm.. So why do you think girls who don’t dress modestly by wearing cabaya and headscarf/jilbaab when they are outdoors dress up the way they do? Do discuss Insh'Allah...

JB: If I were here to pursue a man I would be online all day everyday and I’d be hitting every dudes PM, but I do neither one so don’t even entertain that idea my dear friend. :-) Nugul: Who said I haven’t got a degree behind me? :-S Maybe completing my degree has made me think the way I currently am.. Anyway let’s be real, you can acquire as much academic education as you want, get as many degrees under your belt but convincingly (IF YOU ARE BLESSED) you’ll get married and settle down and ultimately your place will be at home looking after you kids, raising them in an Islamic environment and looking after your husband and fulfilling his needs. Or else you’ll end up being a lonely pseudo feminist. (Good luck ladies)

Ok, so I’m ultimately turning 23 (Insha’Allah) and I’m starting to feel a tad bit old, like most of us I couldn’t wait to grow up quick and now that I’m hitting 23 I’m starting to worry, yes alhamdulila Allah has blessed me with 23 long years where I haven’t gone a day with hunger, I’m in good health, a roof over my head and plenty to be grateful for yet I somehow feel very anxious about growing up. A lot of my friends are now married..and I’m still HERE....Single! *Feels like having a rant* Good men are hard to find nowadays, their like the economy, their going down... Yes, I’m a woman and I shouldn’t seek but I should be sought... But I highly doubt my knight in shining armour is going to randomly come knocking on my door.. -Dating is haram -Going to my local masjid and asking around for brothers who are interested in marriage doesn’t quite tickle my fancy NO HOPE...

Wow, I’m so loving the whole new look, talk about an impressive change. It was so needed! *Gives the website designer the thumbs up* How’s everyone been? :-)

Originally posted by cynical lady: Perfect example as to why people need to invest in real friends. Why come here and dumb your emotion on us is beyond me. He left you, bumer but its not the end of the world. It hurts, but life goes on and so should you. More importantly no man is irreplaceable, and in this case a shoe is the perfect substitute. So I urge you to and shop away. p.s if you’re smart; you won’t dumb this sort of nonsense on us again, and if you’re really smart you won’t listen to Juxa, Malika and KK. Their notorious for given nonsense advices. How about you go kill yourself and let me watch whilst you do so. I need to make some real friends? Look at the number of your post and look at mine, go discover a life before you dish out advice. If I come on here to vent to people I don’t really know and which may I add was nothing too serious, maxaa ka galay? :rolleyes: Did I physically force you to log on and ask of you to reply to my thread? Misery guts.

Ya waxaas oo dhan ku akhrinaya?

JB: Waxaad sheegaysid ba iska yar.

Arch: I'm 22, I don't see myself as caruur laakinse kolay dadkan waa dad dhowr iyo sodan jir ah, markaa isku dhokh manahi. Serious threads are good now and then, anyway LOL @ your work buddies. Waa loo qosla un. Waxba lama dareemsiiyo.

But most of the forumers on here are dad waa wayn, maxaan uga sheekeya that will appeal to them? Most of the threads on here are either serious or simply not worth replying to. I’m feeling slightly depressed too, do you want to be depressed together?

Was it once live and kicking? :eek:

Why is this joint so friggin' dead? Inaalila. SMH

Btw, from my own experiences, females tend to be more conceited and catty, educated or not. I guess it's their nature.

There are many dudes that are well educated and yet who are humble. Why is it that you’re cool with educated sisters but feel uneasy around educated males? Maybe it’s your own insecurities that you need to deal with walaal. I'm just saying.

Nunne: Does that mean you got hitched to a fine 22year old?

Ok, So I’ve noticed some people have been members on here for an extensive period of time, some even since 2002. (To think I was only 14 then, maxaan gaboobay) So my question is, what have you guys accomplished in life from the period you first joined up until now? Or have there been any life changing experiences? It could be anything from doing some charity work abroad, finishing a degree, getting hitched, having kids, etc. Do any of you look back at some of your old posts and laugh?

Fell for what? I'm confused. And can you please stop laughing at me. :confused:

You know what they say... It's a mans world.

If you even mention anything negative waxa lagugu odhanaya ‘’Stop hating’’ markaas, shibtan geleya.

Malika: LOL to meddle is in our dhiig, so it’s all good. I don’t know Ibtisam but from what she writes, she seems like a somewhat heated individual, either that or she’s having a bad day. So yeah, I can definitely see her doing some mad Bruce Lee moves.

Malika: Waad saxsan tahay in that everyone’s xaal is different and that they deal with situations differently. Also, you are right: To say something is one thing, to act according to it is another thing.

Malika: Hug?

Ibtisam: Of course walaalo, as the saying goes ‘’anything that doesn’t kill you only makes you better’’. You live and you learn. And yeah, the likes of Zack did come up with 1 or 2 unwise/humours suggestions but all is khair lol.