:eek: Ngonge you sick puppy

I am a midget and have been so scince I can remeber, it was this shortness surplus that drove to buy a PHD in the streets of your lovely Italian....pock marked cheesecake capital. To be a midget is an inability to pay at the counter like other people but in no way is it a disability. Midgets have been loved since the beginning of time (well, at least since I can remember). Willow's most beloved creature ... a midget. Welcome to Fantasy Island ... who was the favorite character on that show? I dare you to name any character but Tattoo. Best Baywatch,Seinfeld and Springer episodes include what?? That's right - midgets. Austin Powers was a funny movie, but the highlight was undoubtedly Mini-Me. Star Wars ... hello!? Yoda, the wisest of all midgets. One of the greatest movies of all time is The Wizard of Oz. That was pretty much a story about midgets, how helpful, polite and giving they are... when Dorothy needed advice where did she look? DOWN Midgets make us feel good about ourselves, they can brighten our day by simply riding a big wheel, wearing diapers, or just letting us give them a piggyback ride. Up and coming sports like dwarf tossing, midget wrestling, midget bowling and my favorite midget juggling, leave us pie-eyed and speechless ... but always wanting more. Howard Stern brought us Hank and Beetlejuice ... Blink 182 brought us "All the Small Things" and the Real World has even integrated them into the contests on their show. Midgets are great, and they're here to stay. And if there ever is a world without midgets, it's a world of which I'd never want to be a part.

I am a midget and have been so scince I can remeber, it was this shortness surplus that drove to buy a PHD in the streets of your lovely Italian....pock marked cheesecake capital. To be a midget is an inability to pay at the counter like other people but in no way is it a disability. Midgets have been loved since the beginning of time (well, at least since I can remember). Willow's most beloved creature ... a midget. Welcome to Fantasy Island ... who was the favorite character on that show? I dare you to name any character but Tattoo. Best Baywatch,Seinfeld and Springer episodes include what?? That's right - midgets. Austin Powers was a funny movie, but the highlight was undoubtedly Mini-Me. Star Wars ... hello!? Yoda, the wisest of all midgets. One of the greatest movies of all time is The Wizard of Oz. That was pretty much a story about midgets, how helpful, polite and giving they are... when Dorothy needed advice where did she look? DOWN Midgets make us feel good about ourselves, they can brighten our day by simply riding a big wheel, wearing diapers, or just letting us give them a piggyback ride. Up and coming sports like dwarf tossing, midget wrestling, midget bowling and my favorite midget juggling, leave us pie-eyed and speechless ... but always wanting more. Howard Stern brought us Hank and Beetlejuice ... Blink 182 brought us "All the Small Things" and the Real World has even integrated them into the contests on their show. Midgets are great, and they're here to stay. And if there ever is a world without midgets, it's a world of which I'd never want to be a part.

I hate falling asleep. I hate waking up. Entertainment critics and award shows are for people who cannot think for themselves. I know what I like. Women's sports are televised for the wrong reasons. Men and women have innate differences that should be recognized in spite of political correctness. Honesty is criticism. How can children be expected to behave at school when their parents are as gossipy, caddie, and emotionally disturbed? I think most teachers are unqualified and the rest are underpaid. I nap in bathroom stalls at work. I got the idea when I heard snoring coming from a stall one day. The entertainment industry did not create society's problems; it just reflects society's problems. Why is the national anthem sung at sporting events? Is there something patriotic about rivaling cities in a civil nation? I do not see the athleticism in auto racing. Life should have background music. Statistics and children are easily manipulated. Power is abused. I only have a temper in the car. The thought of following people home consumes me at times. Hype is often more arousing than the event it precedes. Anger is self-motivation. Vengeance is closure. Ignorance is the ultimate bliss. Bigotry is ignorance at its finest. Failure is the ultimate reminder. The news is a rerun, just different actors. People should not be commended for being loyal, responsible, caring and thoughtful. They should be loyal, responsible, caring and thoughtful. Survivors are successful victims. I cannot help eavesdropping. Pathetic people intrigue me. The availability to communicate far exceeds the need to communicate. Job interviews are acting auditions. Actors often struggle. Respect is not the result of age. Protesters should often mind their own business. Sacrifice is self-serving. Successful cheating is the culmination of a concerted effort and a desire to overcome risk. Fear is an obstacle. Pride is a boundary. Absence is the opportunity to move forward. Obligation is a choice. Generosity is conditional. Blackmail is utilizing the truth. Sales and coupons represent overpriced merchandise. The newspaper is severely undervalued. Complacency is my greatest nemesis. I am my own worst enemy. Ambition is the inability to be satisfied. Diligence is a huge detour on the way to satisfaction. Talent is a burden. Originality is scarce. Fate is coincidental. Life is a crossword puzzle with poor clues. Laziness is the most efficient way to get things done. Organization is laziness at its finest. Boredom is a lack of intelligence.

[No offense intended to any one or anything whose motives or lack of them have been misread or represented opposite to what is known or in otherwise accepted as true] Escape From Bela Dayeer A consequence of capitalism the world over is its harmful impact on the indiginous flora and fauna of the planet. However while planners will pay lip service to caring for the environment, development and short-term gain inevitably hold sway over the far less important issues of the air we breathe, the mass extinction of native animals and complete ecological breakdown. Bela Dayeer has certainly not been immune to the consequences of excessive development, as all those who have charted the sad demise of the once prevalent Bare-Backed Gorillas of Beela Dayeer will readily acknowledge. Having arrived in Togabaan in the late 1890s as part of a travelling Circus act from Cairo, a family of the creatures escaped to set up base in the then wide open spaces of Bela Dayeer. Despite the obvious climatic differences, the animals quickly settled into their new habitat, and the Beela dayeer area became a haven for tourists from all over Europe, anxious for the opportunity to see these shy creatures in their natural habitat. "Free Bananas" Initially the animals were feted where ever they went, some even becoming regulars in local marfishs, where there inability to speak any decipherable language was more than made up for by their natural charisma. A number of organisations sprang up around the town to help the Gorillas settle into their new surroundings, offering free bananas and peanuts to the visitors, and offering them free membership of organisations such as the GAA and the Toastmasters. The GAA in particular made a concerted effort to integrate the apes, then Chairman Fitna'Shanghai' Xabeeb making it a priority of his tenor. "These Gorillas are big, strong and very athletic. I believe that with training they could be the making of the Intermediate Team", maintained Xabeeb at a GAA rally in 1894. However Xabeebs plans for the Apes were less than successful, they never quite getting to grips with either code. Neither could they be convinced to wear the famed Blue-and-White of somali daac, attempts to coerce them into such inevitably ending in angry Apes tearing up the goal posts before launching them at the xafada duuqa. "Two dirty great big apes" Other attempts to integrate the apes proved more successful. The animals natural aptitude for heights made them obvious candidates when vacancies arose in Ahmeds Scaffolding Emporium, a now defunct organisation which specialised in meeting all scaffolding needs. Farah Deego would never forget the day the apes turned up to be interviewed, although, as he pointed out, 'interview' wouldn't quite be the word. "I'd just finished interviewing young Illac Luuga Kalooc when I hears this commotion outside the door. Then who bursts in only two dirty great big apes, eating bananas to beat the band. "Sure I was about to call the police when who came in only Jidada . 'These lads will make fine scaffolders', says he to me. I wasn't too convinced at first, to be honest, but I gave them a chance and I have to admit he was he wasn't far wrong". "Jew baiting and torturing animals" But even this was not to last, the animals natural resentment towards authority and to the human race generally soon driving a wedge between them and the rest of the pre-dominantly human work force, and Ahmed was reluctantly forced to let the primates go. With the animals one remaining link to human life having been severed, they soon began to drift out of the eye of a public which had once courted them. However with developers even then moving into Bela Dayeer, the beasts natural habitat was being destroyed, and a general migration began which took the beats all the way to Gaultier, which has remained the home for all but a handful of these glorious creatures ever since. With the few remaining Bare-Backed gorillas of Beela Dayeer now only rarely sighted, a whole generation of Dayeerites have grown up not knowing that there was once a time when these animals were as central a tenet of Bela Dayeer life as Jew-baiting and torturing animals.

'Why not?' With those two words, my good friend Reverend Zatarga changed the course of my life. When he said them to me, he had just spent two hours on the telephone with Bishop Fleming discussing various sections of the Bible in excruciatingly fine detail. He pointed out that Leviticus warns Christians not to marry their sister, aunt, mother, mother-in-law, daughter or even their granddaughter (should they be tempted). But nowhere in the good book is there a rule against marrying oneself. So when I told Reverend Zatarga that was exactly what I wanted to do, he eventually conceded those two fateful words: 'Why not?' Of course, the Bible also neglects to forbid anyone from marrying great-grandmothers, tables or pet fish. I wouldn't be surprised to learn that Bishop Fleming ended up marrying his beloved French poodle as a result of all this. Or his blanket - after all he's been sleeping with it for years. Anyway, once I convinced the good Reverend to let me marry the man of my dreams, I had to convince my mother and father. I'd have to say that between an international religion, firmly established for two millennia, and my own humble parents, my parents were far more difficult to persuade. My mother just wouldn't take it seriously at first. OK, very few people took it seriously, but I needed her to know I meant it. She kept asking me silly things like 'Why marry - you can just live with yourself?' or 'What will you wear for the wedding?' And sadly, it drove my father quite mad. Literally. For years after the wedding he spent days typing up articles for a wide variety of news journals, record books and space administration newsletters claiming that he was the first person to have had sex in space. He seemed quite convinced, despite the fact that the closest he had come to space was the big button on his computer keyboard. When asked who he had allegedly had sex with, he would usually pause briefly for dramatic effect, turn his wild eyes towards you and yell shrilly: 'Myself!' I would have hoped that I could trust my best friends to be sympathetic towards my cause, but I think it was all a bit of a joke for them. They were often supportive, but after the wedding they just spent a lot of time making fun of me. Some of the wedding presents I received from them were quite demeaning: pornographic magazines, silk gloves, even a ceiling mirror. And I'm disappointed in them for not stifling their mirth when Reverend Zatarga recited the marriage vows: 'Will you keep yourself as a husband, to live as one in marriage? Will you love and comfort yourself, obey and honour yourself in sickness and in health, and be faithful to yourself as long as you shall live?' I swear one of my friends wet himself laughing. I had a great honeymoon in Las Vegas, gambling away all my savings with nobody to nag me about how much money I was spending. I had a penthouse suite in the Luxor hotel for the night of consummation . . . I had many reasons for getting married when I did, apart from the tax benefits of course (trying to make the tax inspector understand that I was my own spouse was hell, though). Ever since I understood the concept of wedlock, I longed for a partner that I could trust. I wanted to have someone with me always, to whom I could tell all my deepest, darkest secrets without having them laugh at me. Unfortunately, although getting girlfriends was usually not too big a problem for me, I tended to have excruciatingly bad taste. Then I realised that my perfect partner was closer to home than anyone could have realised. Altogether, I think the marriage was a great success for the most part. I rarely argued with my spouse; in fact I found myself to be the best conversation holder around. The few times that I did argue, I always won. And the sex was, well - it was whatever I made of it. There was some media intrusion of course, lots of cheap journalists trying to cash in on this unusual union. I found some of their articles amusing, and others quite offensive, especially the ones dubbing me the most conceited and/or narcissistic man in the world. I don't think I'm such an egotist, I just happen to enjoy my company. I suppose it was a hormonal thing, a stage of life or something, that made me suddenly crave a child. The cliche is that I realised I was mortal, and I therefore wanted to pass on my genes. So after many days weighing up the pros and cons I decided to split up from my husband in order to find a wife. I had a chat with Reverend Zatarga, and he informed me that I couldn't just file for a divorce on a moment's notice. I had to have legitimate justification. Curiously, wanting a baby wasn't on the list of good reasons to divorce. As the good Reverend explained, I could only divorce if I had been living apart from my spouse for at least a year which would be difficult without major surgery or if my spouse had treated me cruelly or been imprisoned for at least a year. I wasn't particularly willing to beat myself up a bit or lounge around in prison just so I could divorce myself. And so it was that I reluctantly removed my wedding ring and started searching for a mate. My friends were cruel about it, saying that I was separating to stop myself from going blind. I think my mother was relieved when I told her that my relationship with myself was coming to an end. My father just paused for dramatic effect, turned his wild eyes towards me and yelled shrilly: 'Myself!' Maybe he really is on another world. I expected it to take me quite a while to find someone who was both willing to sleep with me and who hadn't read the newspapers enough to know that I was already married, but I soon found a plain-faced Malaysian girl who was relatively easy to seduce. The movements that people call googogo was, to be honest, rather disappointing. It seemed that she knew almost nothing of what turns a man on, whereas by that point I myself had become quite an expert. I suppose it wasn't great for her either - I wasn't practised in pleasuring members of the fairer gooogogo. The divorce was easy after that. It seemed that the church was keen to split me apart, as if my marriage had been a big mistake. I felt quite lonely for several months after the break-up. At least the local psychiatrist (specialising in multiple personality disorders) stopped sending me his damned business cards every week. It took me nearly a decade to find a good wife who didn't think she'd be marrying into a threesome. Most of that time was just waiting for the media to forget about 'The Man Who Married Himself'. Meanwhile, I wrote an autobiography with that very title. Included in the book was a detailed account of my marriage to myself, including the ups and downs of living with myself, how I dealt with everyone's criticism of me and my husband, and some intimate details of my relationship. I think it was these sections that made the book a real success when it was published some years later. People were just curious to read about the implications of such an unusual marriage. I suppose it made people think. They would read my book and ask themselves: 'Am I easy to live with? If I had to live with me, could I do it?' They all stopped searching for their Mister or Little Miss Right for just a moment to ask themselves if they would ever make a good spouse for anyone. I didn't hear of any copycat self-marriages, which probably either means the media lost interest or the church is determined not to let it happen again. Anyway, that's all behind me now. My wife and I have just moved into a new home, big enough to accommodate our new child when he is born. I am happy now. In fact, right now I can't wipe the smile off my face. You see, our next door neighbours are Bishop Fleming and his lovely wife, the French poodle.

Trolling just aint what it used to be. :mad:

^^^^^lool^^^ I like the fellow he has got panache and knows how to promote himslef . And you brother are just to quick on the uptake, it was only the other day I got to know who shirwa is.

Infantile happiness—The tale of Riyale’s visit to London. by Shirwa Jama, Law Faculty, University of Cambridge, England. The festive smiles descended those who were demonstrating on the 17th of March; most seemed as though they expected this to be the D Day; the day they will make their mark on the world stage. The “state visit” as some dubbed it was indeed reduced something of a second rate musician paying visit to his meager fans in the House of Commons. If such a visit was nearly to be anything “semi-official” (as many supporters would like us to believe) then it would indeed be inapt for the ministers concerned not to show up for symbolic photo shoots with Mr Riyaale; perhaps Mr Benn and Mr Straw were occupied with more noteworthy matters—I was told the Honourable Gentleman Mr Benn: the Secretary State of overseas development (or some such) was off to Wilshire hunting; whereas Mr Straw attended his Oxonian son’s birthday at that exclusive restaurant the Ivy. Surely the delights of seeing an “exotic” Head of State would have spared them from such trivial enjoyment of hunting and good food. With assurance they would indeed spare time to see him if they regarded Mr Riyaale any such but truth of the matter is that such regard has never been thought of my fellow countryman Mr Riyale who was indeed traveling with Somali passport—the ironic politicking of our fellow Hargeisa politicians is staggering to say the least- where some of his colleagues were in hold of foreign passports ranging from Danish to American; some would undoubtedly say this is an international government. Triviality aside, to add an insult to injury our fellow Somaliland (SL) supports would like us to belief that the inconsequential backbench MPs whose diaries had been empty for donkeys of years are men who would deliver them to glory. What a pity. The gentlemen of Banbury and Hardgate, Clydebank Mr Tony Baldry and Tony Worthington respectively. The first having dubious personality of which one can safely say is ominous than that of his party colleague the disgraced Lord Archer (well admired writer and socialite net worker; he should have stuck with what he knows best). The other not so shady but indeed gloom had beset him since he was demoted from his last post Minster of Ireland—where he did a very poor job. When I last spoke to him weeks ago, he struck me like an old lion tired of peaceful life and hungry for an adventure. He pretends to be some sort of blue blood having acquired thick husky accent that reminds you of Boris Johnson MP of Henley and editor of Telegraph but not as clever or as pure blooded as him. I was awestruck when he answered a question I have asked him. His response was one that oozed with self-assurance that artful man can detect it to be a false attire that men naked of self-confidence would wear. He assumed his most posh accent like I would run sheepishly; “Sir, I care the plight of Somaliland people because I happen to believe in liberty and political self-determination”. Of course as you can guess my question was ;What prompted him to go to Hargeisa only; why did he not visit Sool and Sanaag which of course the Hargeisa administration claims to be part of Somaliland. After reading The Political Animal written by that self-assured man Mr Paxman of the BBC; I was equipped to deal with this self-haughtiness. My retort of course was one that lasted nearly half an hour; I shan’t bore you my dear reader to the exact sentences we exchanged. But my meagre trained mind was predisposed to unearth why these two men would indeed be much interested in “Somaliland”. The first man is known to be a clever merchant. He has his claws in many troubled countries in Africa. The chap is just trying to get on the game as it were. Where the other less insidious chap is perhaps influenced by Trollope’s writings and those adventures which men like Richard Burton speak of (of course largely most of his writings on Somalis is at bare minimum a heresy). He is getting on, age is creeping in and the sunny environment he had seen in the Horn would spare him the pain of living dreary England (only if We Somalis valued our land as this chap has done; during our conversation, he spoke highly about the climate, the people and how terrible it is to loose all these to lawlessness); of course any man with their right mind would exchange cold with warm weather. Anyhow, what has come of those celebratory smiles I first opened in my lines? I tell you my reader. They faded into the thin air never to be re-lived if the smilees can gain experience from this bitter incident. The organisers has so artlessly, unselfconsciously sold the demonstration that I even nearly believed them. I think they may even believed it themselves. The cavalier convention ended with Riyaale being given a shoddy platform to plead his inauspicious plea which of course fall into the satiated men who will just retell the stories in their luxuriant dinner parties—I wish those Somalis would know the life style of the middle-classes; this whole thing is a jolly well spend time to them; something they shall come up with to impress their friends when they sip Earl Grey tea in places like Savoy, Dorchester or other such coffee houses they congregate in. What would have become of this lot-Somaliland (clan entity). It is like those infamously contemptible Somali “models” who conjure up fantastic tales to bemuse those foreigner; but worst still these lot don’t confine their fantasy on their old masters; but the fantasy had become unceasing they themselves become faithful to it—like those women who created the concept of love to beguile men; only later to become victims of it. It is sadly for them their arguments are absorbingly amusing for the objective reader. Anyone who have read about the report of the Commons would agree to it; where those two plead on behalf of their potential clients in front of their colleagues; they say these men had fought with us in wars against the Europeans. This is classic haughtiness and the utter superiority of the upper echelons of this society; they are far removed from reality to utter such politically archaic remarks. They heed none to political connotations so far as they feel happy about its delivery. “It is the delivery that matters not message” said their greatest of all. My Allah have been embarrassed to hear such arguments. Even worse the SL supporters give credence to this as some sort of gleaming historical significance; it ties them with the old masters said one while back while we enjoying-ly speculated about the arrival of Mr Riyale in London. This man who have significance erudition is so blinded he can not see how inane this whole thing is. Wrapping up, the trip most SL supporters expected them to deliver that ships of honey are docked empty where the rust eats away in that threadbare place they all sipping what had left of fizzing drinks. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lol . [your mebership is being considered] Good one

Aeryn sun. Mwahaha. To troll or not to troll, And besides Ngonge whats love got to do with it?

:eek: ^^^^waryaa stop scaring me.

That was how it used to be but today the stuff you mentioned ragga ayaa kaga fiicaan.Kuwa maanta jooga cant cook and clean and do all the stuff you say... Was waiting until someone pointed that out Naagahu maxay ka dawoo yihin maalmahan? Whining whining whining.

Dont see it yet...

1. In place of the somali passport that was in use by the bussiness elite of somaliland as well as somalia what will somalilander's use? 2. You must be a recognized state to set up a screening office that "somaliland" does not have the resources or expertise to set. 3. When will the next nugget of wisdom be dropped by awdal news?

^^^^ oh my gawd, how did you know like that is so tottaly weird. Lucky every body posts odd topics at times, just dont like it when some one with 910 posts of unadulterated ***** calls people passing time crap. English is for communication not intimidation. there goes my reverend king

^^^^ :eek: ^^^^ yes we do since responding to the topic a few minutes ago I have become at peace with my self and found out the meaning of life, it has changed my world view and I am now a much a better person on the inside were it counts. If only you would open your mind to this ancient system of personality analysis, etched on the right butt cheek of the mummy of tutankamen you would find spiritual and digestive bliss just like I have. :rolleyes: what do you think.

Papa Liqaye smoove Mack Master liq the Rockefeller

my parents met online Any air in that cubicle bruv?

wow slow down boys, before this goes down south let me atleast clarify. I thought that the automatic posting censor was going to take care of the qabiil names in the post. Secondly i posted the article because of the potential for peace it conveys. Waryaa jamacow i told you to watch and learn before bouncing into topics like that. Just a little advise from a guy who aint going to watch you do it again :cool:

Waree whats with all the mathematics i had to control myself from going into a feotal pasition, add minus :eek: # 1 - THE ORIGINATOR = 1 's are originals. Yea thats me.....and at least i got something in common with Hulk Hogan remeber that dude.

By the way one guy i know is on the list...and is it any wonder when you read some of the things the women have put up with?!?!?

You can now search the Dick List by name, location, or a specific phrase. If you're searching by name or location, select Search In: Subject only for fastest results (more search tips are listed at the bottom of each search page). You can't post directly to the list (submissions are still reviewed), but besides having search, the new format loads faster, and is far easier to browse and update. Note that the post dates are the dates I added the submissions, not when they were originally submitted. All posts from the old format list will show a date in July 2002. I'll start adding new submissions close to daily in mid-August. The origin of the Dick List The Dick List began 7 years ago at the Pasadena house. It was a very girly house for a long time. It was also a very listy house. So in honor of both of those characteristics, we developed an oft-revised, publicly posted Dick List on a little white board in our kitchen. It had a twofold purpose: 1) promoting girly solidarity through bile-spewing; and 2) reminding us that certain guys were real dicks (which seems obvious, except that at one time or another, due to liquor or just plain bad judgment, it seems like every man on the Dick List ended up in the house while his name was still on the list. . . sometimes the libido overpowers common sense. . . .). The list

All men suck! Anyone willing to joing me on a castrating spree?? Women are so envious....

Guddoomiyaha midowga ganacsatada gobolka Banaadir oo galabta guddoomin doona fadhi ay yeelanayaan ganacsatada ka soo kala jeeda beelaha ay ka dhasheen Muqdisho Guddoomiyaha midowga ganacsatada gobolka Banaadir Max’ud C/kariin Cali (Gabeyre) oo xubin ka ah guddi nabdeyn ah oo uu dhawaan ku dhawaaqay Imaamka beelaha Hiraab Imaam Max’ud Imaam Cumar ayaa lagu wadaa in uu galabta guddoomiyo fadhi ay ku yeelanayaan Waqooyiga Muqdisho ganacsatada beelaha Warsangali iyo Wacbuudhan oo lagu doonayo in lagu xalliyo khilaafaadka ka soo cusbnooday deegaano ka tirsan Waqooyiga Muqdisho. Warkaan oo aanu ka soo xiganay idaacadda Horn Afrik ee fadhigeedu yahay Muqdisho ayey idaacaddu sheegtay in ganacsatadu kaga hadli doonaan sidii wax looga qaban lahaa xiisadda soo kala dhex gashay dhinacyada walaalaha ah ee ka soo jeeda beesha Mudulood. Guddoomiye Gabeyre oo xubin ka ah guddiga nabadeynta ee xallinta dagaalka u dhaxeeya dhinacyadaasi ayaa sheegay in dagaal uusan wax faa’iido ah u laheyn shacabka, isla markaana loo baahan yahay in lala yimaado ALLE ka cabsi, lagana digtoonaado wax kasta oo abuuri kara xiisad colaadeed, wuxuuna guddoomiyaha midowga ganacsatada gobolka Banaadir ugu baaqay dhinacyada ku dagaalamaya Waqooyiga Muqdisho in ay khilaafaadkooda ku dhameeyaan wada hadal una turaan shacabka danyarta ah ee horey u soo daashaday dagaalada sokeeye, isaga oo xusay in magaalo madaxda Muqdisho ay maanta u baahan tahay nabadgalyo iyo xasilooni, balse aysan u baahneyn colaad hurin iyo dagaal. Cabdishakuur Cilmi Xasan ,Dayniile Muqdisho