My hero gotta be my father although he passed away a long time ago, the way he lived and how he treated my mother and us kids will forever set a standard as to the kind of family i would wanna have one day. May Allah bless his soul and grant him a place in Paradise.

Well ladies, lets' just say I have been in that situation where the brother liked me for so long, throughout our childhood, and I never really saw him that way, or took him seriously. I just thought it was a little crush that would eventually dissipate. Well, how the tables have been turned! :eek: Now that we were older and I really got to know him, the crush/love bug bit me so hard i didnt even know it was coming!!! I'm a forthcoming and honest person, and I told him about it, he felt crushed that i hadnt told him sooner because now he had a fiance. But alas, it wasn't meant to be because when he was ready for him, i wasn't and when i was ready for him, he wasn't, because you know why? the brother found himself someone who would reciprocate the love and I was just a little too late. They are now happily married and I am truly happy for them Moral of the story is, don't let something that was there in front of you pass you by because one day, maybe one or both of you will regret it.

very nice and insightful article Ijabo, bravo to u. I was actually thinking about this a few days ago and im glad u raised this issue here. hope all u guys read it in an open minded fashion, rather than just jumping down her throat or saying ur not one of the guys she's mentioning. Maybe u are not, but im sure one of ur boys is, so take this message and enlighten ur fellow men, maybe around the khad table? Too often, ppl post here to bash women, criticise them when in reality some men in our society cannot point the finger when the woman has always been the one with more responsibiliies on her shoulders. peace

Rudy, ameen bro, may allah grant u the same.

Poet, i know what you mean about losing a father, i went through the same pain as you, especially at a young age. Imagine someone who's always with you not being there anymore, that's the worst shock/pain ever.

My q is, when are they gonna capture Bush?! If they're gonna round up all tyrants/killers, he should share a cell with him. Saddam can teach Bush grammar, since its hard for the texas native and Bush can teach Saddam how to kill ppl and make it look like u didn't do it, or that it was just "collateral" damage.

Obviously i cannot dispute the mahram issue because its part of God's laws and i understand the meaning behind it, but i wonder, how many ppl truly practice it? How many of the sistas here practice it...I mean, in this day and age, where many ppl don't have access to immediate family sometimes, or let's say i wanted to travel and my brother didn't, does that mean i can't or does the fault lie with him? Excuse my ignorance, i don't know much of the issue, so that's why im asking qs. Are there times that I can travel alone, and is there a need for it today? I remember someone posting in the other topic that the prophet (saw)(correct me if im wrong, or if i missed interpreted it) said that there would be a day that a woman wouldn't need someone to go with her. How do we know if we've reached that day yet or if we havent? thxs for ur input in advance

Qac Qaac, debating with u, and that is highly questionable if what ur doing is debating, is like talking to a wall, so bro, spare me ur nonsense, i got better things to do. A lot of things are going over ur head, u just might not be big enough to understand them. I think UD is looking for a roommate, care to join him? ciao

Funny how u guys used our replies as "emotional" and urs were deemed "intellectual"...if that isn't sexist, i dont know what is.... Now talk about being emotional Qaac Qaac, i thought that was a female only emotion? why all the tears and quit saying ur being attacked cause all we're doing is excercising free speech, not using WMD on u...learn the difference b4 u become hysterical again, and as for why im sarcastic to UD? he knows why, so if u can't comprehend it from my pevious posts, im not gonna become ur secular teacher, afterall, i should be on earth to obey my man and learn qoran, nothing else. Funny how

underdog, u big dog u...our lil' insignificant female brain can't handle ur amazing intellect..sorry my king, i guess im just gonna have to retire to my rightful place in order to understand where a king like u is coming from....oh...my brain, it hurts.... i will not argue with a caveman-have a nice day! Baashi, i get ur point, but many doesnt mean all, so i wasnt generalizing, cause not all human beings are the same. as for preference, i did say that if that was ur choice, good for u, i was just stating my point, no need to substitute ur judgement for mine, cause clearly, underdog has showned that i am fairly new to the english language and might get a word or two mixed up...

Athena, well said. Boys, take notes, ur in sore need. Underdog, pot calling the kettle black? if u interpreted what i said to u as an attack, then u calling me incompetent and lazy is just a compiment right? How's the cave coming along? need any decorations suggestions? U said u wanted to be the breadwinner and ur wife to stay home, well, good for u, but some of us don't want to stay home, and it has nothing to do with not wanting to be there for ur kids or husband so stop making it like women who work outside the home are neglecting their families. Open up that "intellectual" mind u were speaking of excercise some common sense instead of ur unrealitic dreams and expectations of what a wife should be. Try focusing on becoming a good husband instead of worrying what she's making for dinner. Bashi, instead of looking at hibo's q to mean that a man who sees a strong woman runs literally, u gotta read btw the lines. It means that, many men see a woman with intellect who challenges the status quo as a threat to their ideal way of thinking (someone clearly demonmstrated hibo's point) If u want a yes sir, no sir kinda gal, i suggest a slave will do u men good, but a real woman with ideas wants to voice them, and God forbid if she opens up her mouth and expresses her feeble mind...the horror...come on men, a real man would be supportive of his wife, instead of thinking of her working outside the home as time away from him and the kids. ex. my father use to work outside the home, and still would make breakfast for the kids and mom, and still go to work, and my mom would work as well and make dinner...point is, they made sacrifices and compromises, which is lacking in somali society these days. Its' either the man's way or no way. Thank God there are more muslim men out there , wouldn't wanna choose from the pile i see.

somalialien and jawahir have said exactly what i mean so underdog, quit the caves and come out of hibernation. In my marriage, i expect that my husband and I would work together on everything, whether its cooking, cleaning, working, because i don't plan to be a housewife, and whoever chooses that route, that's their choice.Just because my idea of a wife doesnt mean that i would be tied down to my apron all day, doesnt make me an unfit wife, so pls, again, u said it urself, i think calling u a chauvanist is an understatement. Im amazed at ur narrowmindedness, u think somali women don't have hardships...many, while their hubbies work, still need to work cause his job doesnt cut it, unable to support the whole family, so the woman, burdened with the household chores already, like someone else pointed out, may sometimes have to take jobs that are undesirable, ie-cleaning offices.houses, and u dare look down on 'em. shame on u.

debt collector-what was the point of posting what the pakistani man said? Is it to say that poor somali woman are under the influence of the west and they neglect their duties according to u being a housewife, primarily?so again, here is another stating that, sistas shouldnt pursue education and automatically, those in the west are pretentious ppl that have put this new culture in front of their own...i guess if all the sistas said today, u know what, forget education, im gonna depend on my farax and be a 50's housewife, with dinner served on time, the kids all taken care of, the house sparkling, all the while, with a smile pasted on my face...reality check ....that's unrealistic and propably won't happen in ur lifetime... ...and here i thought that a couple united should see each other as a "we" instead of an "I" because isn't marriage a partnership? and what's wrong with a wife giving her input on situations to her husband, god forbid she shares what's in her feeble mind... what's wrong with sharing the household duties? after all, don't they both live in that space and need to contribute to its cleanliness? Were u just showing what the paki man or does his beliefs mirror urs? Pls, let me here ur thoughts.

Thank you everyone, for your insight on this matter, I appreciate it. A lot of you have raised very good points, and i'm glad to see so many of you already wearing it, without any problems. The thing is for me, I used to wear it a long time ago as a kid and I took it off, not fully understanding the importance of it. Now lately I have been thinking about wearing it again, but I just wanted to be fully committed so that I would never take it off again. Inshallah, I hope God makes the decision easier for me. p.s.-pls don't use this post to attack others about their beliefs on hijab, it's meant to be for education not persecution. salam

To the sisters who don't wear hijab, including myself. What is holding us back from wearing the hijab? To the sisters that already do, I have alot of respect for you, and i want to know what made you finally wear it and was it hard for you? Some things that may hold a sista back from Hijab: 1-Living in the west (maybe) 2-Peer pressure 3-Devil making you think it doesn't look good on you 4-dating? You are all wlc to add more to this and let me know other ideas of why we do not wear it yet.