You know, to be honest, I don't think my sibling could've gotten a better spouse. So I wouldn't necessarily use the word "settle". They've been married for 8 years and going strong, whilst 2 of my other siblings have divorced from Somali spouses after only a few years of marriage. Marka waxaan abaa waa calaf. Don't degrade a Muslim being by using the word "settle". I'd understand if the case was an alchoholic or drug addict, but a perfectly practising Muslim? C'mon, sister Having said that, I prefer Somalis too.

Actually I read every single one of them. That's why I said you're not the first to be rejected nor embraced. Also I didn't say you were annoying, I said you come across annoying, which, believe it or not, is not the same thing. And you're calling me daft...? Not that I mind it, or am insulted by it - as Ngonge says: "it's only words on a screen, words on a screen!" I wish you and your fiancee the best of luck, iA. I actually have a sibling who's married to a revert. The kids are pretty, mA.

I am sure every one of us should be doing something else 90% of the time we are here. So I think it's fair to say perusing these forums is procrastination at its finest

The Zack;712593 wrote: 5, If you were working from home and had to be on Skype to present and what so, you had to think about having an office (room) at your place and lock it lol. That would've helped you avoid the family interruptions. It is difficult to work from home as it is even if you are not on Skype, distractions will impact you work effectiveness. 100% agreed. There's a free office (desks, wi-fi, conference room) for officeless creative professionals to use in my city but they close at 6PM. I don't need Skype anymore The gig sucked major time anyway, they had the audacity to go on about the importance of experience for a young person like myself*... Yeaaah, that's all pretty & nice but: "> Plus they were indecisive, which I hate more than a wet dog shaking off water at you *I was doing an internship at the same time. Apologies for hijacking your thread!

"Hooyo, guess who's coming to dinner!" Brother CD, the reason you got such a hostile welcome is because you come across slightly annoying. I don't know why. There's just something about your posts that scream "self-content". Plenty of Somali brothers marry revert sisters and there are sisters who marry reverts. Plenty of Somali brothers want to marry an Arab/Pakistani sister and wake up the next day with a missing organ and a wall covered in blood, reading: "STAY AWAY FROM FAIDA IBN AL SAHIL". My point is, you ain't the first to be rejected nor embraced by a girl's family. And I know one's broken fingernail hurts more than all the suffering in the world, because it's happening to you, but honestly, it sounds like you're loving this and simply thriving in the whole... whatever this thread has managed to raise. A quick word of advice for any young Somali out there: if you know your parents will totally freak out for bringing home a non-Somali, it's probably not a good idea to search for one online. Just food for thought.

Aaliyah, it kind of makes you wish you lived in a huge mansion where you don't bump into them! Zach & Jacaylbaro, it was my first paid post-uni gig as a bona-fide professional. You don't want babies crying in the back. If it had been a guy, makala jeclaan laheen, we're Somali, chances are asbo subaxwalbo qashinka qaad iyo heblaayo baabuurka ku qaad ayaa lagu wareeriyaa

I'm laughing so hard. Chimera, you might have an eye for architecture but stay out of fashion! Dior said he wanted women to be like flowers: delicate and beautiful... not creame cakes!

"Video Conferencing" is another word for shukaansi here! I've tried Skype once, over a period of 1 month, and I found it tedious. Because of the massive time difference, I hated the fact that I had to look casual yet professional when really, I just wanted to curl up and go to bed; I hated the fact that I had to make sure everybody in the house was absolutely silent and would not embarrass me by asking me in aan caano walaasheydi ciyaalkeed u soo kulleeyo or by screaming my name like, you know,only Somalis can... or, worse, knock on the door and interrupt me every other second with the most uninteresting questions or comments... Family members! Don't you just love 'em! They keep you very grounded Didn't have a problem with video quality though.

BOB, I thought it was fairly obvious. With the # 5 being so feminine and all A friend of mine was going on about how sad the Notebook was, and being a sucker for depressing films I bought the DVD. Sadly, I didn't find it too sad. I mean they got each other, right? Everybody dies some time and at least our old couple dies together. So they're much better off than most story couples. Hope I didn't spoil the film for anyone. Malika! Did you see it? I wanna hear what you thought. Sometimes I catch myself staring into the distance, my thoughts still on that film. After so many weeks. Shockingly overlooked '11 awards season. Rachael Portman should've been nominated for best score over Reznor & Ross, and Andrew Garfield over Jesse Eisenberg. And no, I'm not saying this just because I hated the Social Network with its retarded portrayal of women and utterly unlikable and unrelatable protagonist. The only best thing about it was, ironically, Andrew Garfield. Chimera, Mustafa's death was really sad! Perhaps a little too sad for kids even(?) Ever seen "The Land Before Time"?

You can be my lucky sappho, baby!! Nomen est omen. I'll even let you wear a blonde wig so your dream of being a "blondy" finally comes true.

The English Patient is amazing. Love it. I think you're gonna appreciate NLMG.

Complicated, that's a weak diss! Try harder LOL@ Malika Remember to take a box of Kleenex with you Alpha Blondy, I'm not in love but the film is just SUPER SAD. Watch and judge for yourself.

Would you mind sharing with the rest of Europe what the weather is like in California? And then, could you add "SNAP!" in the end? Welcome to SOL!

It's very rare that I shed a tear during a film, but this film actually made me cry a little bit... It is an amazingly, hauntingly beautiful film. And the score... the score just kills you. Has anyone seen "Never Let Me Go" yet? It's definitely one of the most heartbreaking films I've ever seen. Quite depressing really. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_hblpUDYlOM&feature=related And now jumping onto another subject.... Which films made you emotional? My list: Titanic (I was a kid in love with Leo, ok!) Which Way Home (HBO documentary) Blood Diamond Never Let Me Go

Chimera;698958 wrote: Somalis have the potential to provide a good life for their children and grandparents, they only have to re-invent themselves and shape a new destiny, one where they are winners! Winning! Good post but I think our chances of re-inventing ourselves are about as good as a certain two and half man's. But we can always hope.

Some things annoy me. I hate it when there's dirt under a farax's fingernails or their hands are rough and dry, I hate unironed clothes or trousers that don't fit. I can't stand bad posture or lazy walking. Faraxs with bad teeth or bad breath. To sum it up in one sentence: faraxs who don't pay attention to their appereance. Superficial, vain? Perhaps. Or perhaps just plain ol' good manners & politeness towards fellow human beings.

I read a lot, just not books anymore. But SOLers seem to have great taste in books mA. I'll get back to this book club when I've got some more time to read for pleasure iA - and maybe even contribute.

I can read Somali, though not as fast as my strongest language or English. Laakiin, I've recently started this little game of reading ads, instructions etc backwards and I've noticed that it's helped with reading Somali a little faster. I think it's just a case of the eye not being used to Somali sentences. I grew up in a small village where my family was the only Black family (Soomali iska daa!) and all of my siblings - regardless where they were born - speak immaculate Somali. Mohammed, your parents should have not allowed you to forget/never learn your mother tongue properly. It ain't cool bruv but you're young, you've still got time iA.

Hi.

Alpha Blondy;691772 wrote: Recently, the media has been awash with articles suggesting that career women are to relationships what garlic is to a vampire - the kiss of death. We're unable to sustain meaningful unions, apparently, because men are intimidated by our intellect, threatened by our higher earning potential and turned off by our controlling, capable, yet powerful personalities. While this has been my personal experience - I was left by the father of my daughter (now nearly five) three years ago when I was the higher earner - I think that the issue goes far deeper. It is more psychological than sociological. The problem, I believe, is not so much with career women per se, but that women are increasingly out of balance with themselves and, therefore, with men. I know I am. In the past three years of being single, I have been on a handful of dates. Two years ago I went to dinner with a doctor who told me that I 'wasn't in touch with my femininity' as I 'didn't flirt or wear much make-up'. His diagnosis also included the undeniable fact that I was in 'acute need of affection'. The last straw came four months ago when I had dinner with a successful, high-profile entrepreneur who literally screamed at me that I was 'so in control it was scary' - although he did backtrack when I dropped my head towards my plate and started sobbing. As well as being hurt, I was shocked and outraged. What, I thought, had become of modern man's chivalry? But later, I grudgingly reasoned, maybe he had a point - what had become of my femininity? The difficulty for many of today's career women is that in order to compete with men, we've morphed into them. We've worked ourselves half to death in order to conquer the career ladder, yet in the process we've trampled our core femininity into the ground. De-feminising: Juggling work, children and all of life's trimmings can leave a woman little time for herself These days, as a single parent and sole breadwinner, I often feel more masculine than feminine. Working full-time, making every decision, paying every bill, driving myself everywhere, booking tickets for holidays, lugging the Christmas tree in - it's all completely de-feminising. My friend Sophie, 46, who runs her own design company and is a single mother to two boys aged nine and 11, agrees. She has been single for six years, since her husband left her for another woman. Blonde, attractive and kind, she hasn't been on a date since he walked out. 'I have absolutely no idea how to be a woman any more,' she says. 'Because I run my business, my home and make all the decisions about the boys, I feel totally unfeminine. 'I'm terrified of dating as I have no idea how to behave. 'I would love a partner but I feel unattractive, untrusting, unsexy and completely alone.' That, of course, is the crux for many of us. We honestly believed that if we worked hard, we could have it all and more. Yet so many of us have ended up lonely, exhausted and broken-hearted, with far less of what we bargained for. According to a Mintel report, 39 per cent of the adult population is single - that is 19 million people - and this is expected to rise to 41 per cent by 2011. Clearly, men and women are increasingly out of sync, and the key could be in learning to re-balance ourselves as women and reclaim our essential softness. So I embarked on a psychological make-over to see if I could fast-track my femininity. First, consultant stylist Kira Jolliffe, who runs a company called Wardrobe Woman, appraised my closet. Once she got over the shock of how few clothes I have, she immediately sussed that I 'compartmentalise' my wardrobe. I live in jeans and shirts to write and do the school run, wear nicer tops to work meetings and have a couple of dresses for going out. But as I rarely go out, the more elegant clothes hardly get worn. She was correct in saying that I 'try to bring out my femininity for the occasion, as opposed to being feminine whatever the occasion'. My homework was to mix up my wardrobe, ditch my beloved chunky loafers and not save smarter clothes for some mythical special occasion. 'Femininity is about an internal experience with your self and clothes are about the external appearance,' she explained. 'But your clothes can be a tool to remind you of it; a way of tapping into the essence of who you are. 'This has nothing to do with showing cleavage, for example, as there is nothing less sexy than enforced femininity. Femininity is all about being relaxed with yourself.' The problem for the career woman, according to Jolliffe, is that in the corporate world, women often use dress as an armour. They over-do their hair and make-up and then it becomes difficult to drop the armour, both sartorially and emotionally, for a date. 'But to equate femininity with florals and chiffon is childish and simplistic,' she cautioned. 'To suddenly wear floaty tops in the office smacks of trying too hard. 'WAGs, for example, are the antithesis of femininity because they reek of desperation. Artifice is the least sexy thing. Femininity is about authenticity.' After a week of trying to up my feminine ante by wearing nicer shoes and adding jewellery or a pretty top, I understand why Jolliffe insisted: 'If it feels false, don't do it.' I spent the first day staggering around in a little skirt and heels, feeling ridiculous considering my life in the country. 'Sexiness is about getting the balance between the feminine and masculine with panache and confidence,' she had said. 'It's about being soignee, not overdone. It's about being vulnerable and empathetic without being a victim. 'But you need to be realistic about your sexual identity because being sexy isn't necessarily being feminine. 'My advice to career women is to get into the habit of rubbing really expensive body cream in after a bath. 'It's amazing how being at one with your body puts you more instinctively in touch with your physical self-esteem.' The most valuable lesson I've gained has been to wear the clothes I enjoy, instead of saving them for best. Interestingly, I've had more comments on my appearance lately. I'm beginning to see that femininity is like a flower. Water it by paying attention and it will blossom. Next, I went to see renowned cosmetic surgeon Dr Jean-Louis Sebagh. Responsible for some of the most beautiful faces in the world, including Cindy Crawford, he is nicknamed the Botox King. He had just returned from Russia, where he took part in a documentary on the subject of women and femininity. 'Russian women don't have that hardness of women in England and America,' he said. 'They get their men because they are extremely feminine and they listen to their men, yet they are not regressive. They have managed to hold on to an old-fashioned prettiness. 'In contrast, most of the women I see in Europe have become warriors. They are feisty and aggressive. 'They see relationships as business transactions, and they treat dating the same way they climb the corporate ladder, which makes them look and seem hard.' So can he help feminise a woman? 'My job is to make a woman look attractive to a man, but I cannot change her character. 'I can soften her looks, but I can't get a woman in touch with her soft side.' But how do we do that? 'I think that it is difficult to be a woman today,' he adds. 'Our society is quite harsh, and if you want to enjoy the materialism, then you lose your soul. 'If women can stay away from their corporate brains, then they can tune into this softness and core values.' Interestingly, Dr Sebagh says that his happiest clients are in their 50s and 60s. 'They are in touch with what matters in their life. They want men for companionship, not some lifestyle choice. 'They have souls and are far more authentic. 'Ironically, I believe that the credit crunch will force more women towards that authenticity because they will no longer be able to pretend that they are rich or successful. 'How can you find yourself if you are fake and pretending to be someone that you are not?' Some may consider Dr Sebagh's helping hand towards the appearance of softness fake in itself. However, when he administered Botox to me, the results were fantastic. Far from looking taut or frozen, I looked like me, only less worn and haggard. I look fresher - and because I look softer, I feel softer. However, as both Kira Jolliffe and Dr Sebagh concur, the appearance of femininity is meaningless without the inner experience of it. Psychologist Jeff Allen, founder of Psychology of Vision, who coaches for relationship and business success, said: 'Independent women look like they are tough and have their acts together, which is appealing, but really they are well-defended because they don't want to get hurt or be vulnerable. 'But to be feminine, at some level you have got to be open. 'Being open allows connection, intuition and compassion-these are the feminine gifts.' So how do we open ourselves up to our feminine energy, especially if we also want to survive career-wise in a male-dominated world? 'The feminine principle is about allowing things to unfold and happen, not always interfering. 'Career women think that they have to be in control to make it happen, but if they stop and tap into some kind of emotional intelligence and empathy, it makes them better problem-solvers.' .................................... continue here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1039030/Fast-track-femininity-Why-competing-men-left-women-touch-feminine-side.html So we can "get in touch with our feminine side" by going to a stylist, plastic surgeon and a psychologist? Sure this wasn't written by a man?

Urban;690454 wrote: 5, I can't believe you know Syd Mead! The man is a legend and has inspired most of my art heroes today. Daniel Simon (published an amazing book called Cosmic Motors, and designed the Tron mobile) Ryan Church (Star Wars concept artist amongst other things), Neville Page (one of the creature designers for Avatar) and Craig Mullins. James Paick is a fantastic environment artist, Sparth and Daniel Dociu are a couple of the leading video game concept artists. My excuse is magazines. What's yours?

Gosh would I love to be at a dinner party table with this lady and David Guggenheim! It would have the potential of resulting into the ultimate "parents vs teachers" debate.

Waiting for the end - Linkin Park

Ismalura;689597 wrote: Two(or more) consenting adults decided to do what they did and Somaliland is a secular government so what did you expect them to do? With that logic there should be nothing wrong with incest either. But thanks for sharing what you tell yourself when you go to bed at night. Just make sure you at least get your full quote.

Ismalura;689484 wrote: Somalinimo laguye. Everyone is responsible for them selves. If a Somali woman wants to sleep with old German man yadeey u talaa. I don't see what is Somali/muslim about that since it is a personal choice. God has given everyone a free will. If he was recording a video/taking pictures with out their consent than that is a different story and four years seems fair. And the award for the most 1diotic reply goes to... Ismalura. Walaal, BOB* is 100% right. This is not a case of a woman choosing between a red dirac or a green dirac to flash her chest in. This is about a foreign man coming to an Islamic country and seeking poor, disadvantaged women in desperate situations to take advantage of. 4 years for destroying the souls of these women is a joke.