Shout out,goes to sister Warrior of Light, on her up coming wedding.. I take this opportunity to wish sister WOL, all the best,despite her refusing my cousin's hand in marriage..[teasing yaa WOL]nevertheless, am not bitter..lol WOL, “May Allaah grant you blessings, and shower blessings over you, and unite you both in goodness.”

I guess we have been a tad bit harsh on our judgement of the situation..I apologies yaa Adna. I am sure your friend knows whats best for her and inshallah she would make the right choices.There is nothing wrong by being a second wife,she would not be the first nor the last.She only needs to find where she stands in the long run.

^^I agree with you and Rahima [should I do the percentages too..lol] Oh, I see raw emotional debate going on here, compelling indeed.. Let’s not forget that through the ages and across many different cultures, nonparental assistance with child care has been an enduring norm. All over the world, children typically live with and are cared for primarily by their parents but also receive care from extended family members, neighbours, friends and paid care providers. We do find ourselves in industrialized countries where there is an increase reliance on paid child care, due to the economical realities; one can’t afford to retire entirely from work unless one is wealthy. [A voice of Ayeeyo kooris]; my opinion is both biological parents and no parents can have both negative and positive effects on the child’s health, cognitive capacity, adjustment and social relationships. As a full time working mother, I too had time off when my daughter was born, and didn’t go back to work until she was 2, even so as a part timer. Honestly work doesn’t only mean bread on the table for me; it fulfils a certain void in me too. Which gives a balance to my life; I enjoy working and enjoy being a mother. Knowing my primary responsibility is my child. At the end of the day its all about personal choices and circumstances..

WOL...Congratulations!! Pongezi litokalo moyoni kwangu!![hope my swahili makes sense..lol] How long ago was the accident,and how long does it take to get results back home?Inshallah,all will be well sis. HIV/AIDS is a reality which we can no longer afford to ignore, if one is embarrased to ask his or her new partner for a mere test, what sort of a beggining is that,its not accusing each other of promiscuous just a precaution..and forward thinking, if he or she is infected how do you deal with that, what sort of future do the two of you have etc etc..

AAliyah,AAliyah..curiousity killed the cat..!Iska ilalii.. CC come on now,spill the beans,what is in your mind today? Reer Canada,are you guys just back from work?

Lool,Clear is that a self advertisement..lol,hayee warkaa so daa!

Originally posted by Valenteenah: quote:Originally posted by Ms Dhucdhuc & Dheylo: There is this song on TV ad at the moment for washing powder. The owrds were 'she is so fresh, fresh , excited ....' Does anyone know? I know the ad you mean. Like the song too. I don't know who it's by tho...Earth Wind and Fire, maybe? ^^By Kool & Gang MC Hammer's ,"Its hammer time" was one of my fav dancing tune..aah,days gone by!,now days even the two step somali dances tires me..old age!!!aargh Ice, Ice Baby..by Vanilla Ice!! Beenie man,is cool!

I have heard some interesting stories of what goes on back home behind close doors and under those Nikhaabs..subhanallah! My poor cousin went recently back home[wont say where,so to save myself from being lynched].It was his first time to set foot in Somali soil,his perception of Somalis,from back home in East Africa and those he had encountered in the West,were shattered!..Apparently there are brothels,prostitution is the norm,chewing,drinking seem to be the socially done thing,and many, many more horrifying stories..especially the scale of the killer disease AIDS/HIV..sexually transmitted disease seem to be at all time high.. Anyway's as always we will blame the current state of moral corruption on lack of proper governance,and chaotic situation,trauma[seems to be the excuse for unruly somali kids in the west]..

Arabs are wrapped in their own little world which seem to be unstable and dependant on the West,they havent got time to extend their hand to a needy little nation of Somalia at this particular moment.. Honestly, I can never see myself living in an Arab country... Racism exists in any society,its breed by ignorance and prejudice...so not only Arabs are racist,but I believe Somalis can be pretty harsh against other Africans[bantu]

Subhanallah! what an ordeal!,Its clear when one is further from Allah,one looses all sense of reality..I dont understand why men become so possessive when their wives want divorce..I remember a case of a Pakistani man that not only killed the wife but his children as well!

Amiin, Amiin, thanks ya all for your dua's..I appreciate your warm and sincer congratulations.. Now let me answer some questions: Serenity; yes sis the rumour we met at SOL is a lie.. JB,Zafir..Jokers! Nephthys; Oh dear, I am never one to be phased away by fear of taking chance's,I have learned life is for living and living is in the moment so my dear the,second time round is well prepared for,in many aspects... . Jacaylbaro; Lol..so many questions..The wedding will be happening somewhere near where you are,there isnt a card,just get on you camel and make your way to Hawd,will give you directions when near the time!

A tuna roll, two slices of cheese cake, I can barely move my *** off the chair now, to go do my motherly duties...oh,why be so greedy eey, couldnt let my collegues have the last cheese cake..I had to have it!

Originally posted by me: Early 90 Music Hadaway..........what is loveeee Dr.Alban.......its my life Snap 2unlimited I miss the 90ś wrong music........the classics of the 90ś don't need to be mentioned.. Aaah, memories of a time gone by.."I got the power" by snap Dr Alban,lol..reminds me of the wonderful years in Stockholm.

Originally posted by Rahima: It’s about time that women stopped judging one another and let each others be. Hear, Hear,We women can be hard on each other..I believe we have a sacred obligation to each other irrespective of our differences. Women's life today is tending more and more toward the state Willam James describes so well in the German word "Zerrissenheit - torn-to -pieces-hood".She can not live perpertually in "Zerrissenheit".She will be shattered into a thousand pieces. Let us be, let us be..without the bondages of shame,guilt and honour..

Originally posted by Adna: Salaam quote: ^^My question is , did she knowingly marry the man knowing he had a wife,kids and lives in another continent or did he get married to the other wife after they got married, and his sponsor wasnt sucessful? There are many Very Good questions that some of had raised, and i will try to some it all up. Let me Say Thank you All very much i really appriciate all the insight. to answer above question. first, she married the guy knowingly he was married and had a punch of kids. she has gone to africa twice so far, and you know how travel expenses are. she applied the sharci staff and yes it's been nothing but heache,or unsucessfull; however, the guy is unwillingly not wanting to do what it takes, to get here and be with this desbrate women. please don't get me worng, but sometimes i'm confused with this situation too. the sad thing is that she very sucessfull sis BSN RN and has very decent job not to mension she in her mid twenties. so i personally sometimes don't get the situation, as all of you would think, but anyhow, i will try to check back latter to answer some more ???. thanks Interesting scenerio,but not the least strange situation your friend finds herself in.One thing is very clear,is the man isnt bothered,your friend need to get the message..they say,believe people once they show themselves to you..dont sugar coat,nor make excuses.The man has clearly shown his committment to his other wife,and children which is darn right!!.As for your friend she knew the score in the first place,he was already married,what was she expecting he leave his family for her? tst,tst...She might have been his bit on the side,and for religious reason he married her..hard truth eey! Nevertheless,your friend as sucessful as she is,she needs to start loving herself a tad bit more,value herself and seek what is rightfully hers...a happy,fulfilling relationship with someone that is available to her.Life isnt a reharsal,this is it folks!,she got to let go of him,or join him in Africa...but cant hang around waiting in the wings for ever...why waste time, how precious time is!! my two cents of advice!

WOL...Vipi Mambo? Uko wapi leo?

Inshallah in two weeks time,my journey will take me around the East African Islands[Zanzibar,Madagascar and Seychells] and if time permits might have a detour to the old country...Berbera,Burco ,Lascanood and Xudun...all if time permits!

^^Loool,@ are you from Saudia.. You could have just posted your response on the thread already there,with the same tittle...

^^I am intrigued,I must go and found out this top kept secrets..Lol

^^My question is , did she knowingly marry the man knowing he had a wife,kids and lives in another continent or did he get married to the other wife after they got married, and his sponsor wasnt sucessful? There are many grounds for divorce in Islam,she needs to state hers clear,seek the advice from an imaam..and inshaallah all will be kheyr. Sophi, that program is an interesting in sight to polygamy, I watched several episodes.

Originally posted by Adna: salaam. A Couple were married, and they both live in two different countries. forexampl, eroupe and africa, the wife tried to responsor the huspand and it has been four years since they were married,so the husband has an other wife and children. she has been very pateint and now she feels her bilogical clock is ticking, Ladies if this was you Would Ask for a divorce? thank you Sister Adna, I would like to thank you for your question and the great confidence you place in us. Unfortunately with limited knowledge of the situation it’s hard to even come up with an opinion. It would be useful if we knew what her views are and if the husband had consulted her when he decided to take on the second wife. She needs to seek counsel from those who possess wisdom, experience, and knowledge and seek to solve the outstanding issues between them after gaining insight and advice from them. Has your friend addressed this issue with her husband or elders? I'm confused,did she marry this man knowingly he had a wife and kids and lives in another continent? or Did he marry the other woman after her?

Well special as gifted and talented, I grant her that[<<< I am scared of her]

Writing reports filled with sugar coated comments can be really irritating,why cant we just tell the parents their kids are little demons,and if I can be allowed to spank them they will be better people and better yet productive individuals. Corporal purnishment needs to come back to school,these spoilt brats will not only leave school,without a decent education but will drug down those whom want to learn...I say bring the caning back.

Originally posted by Xanthus: ^^^She's marrying one of the SOL nomads, they met here, it was love at first username , the rest is history, now it is going to be seven weeks of sun, wedding bells, love and lazying about, as well as being scrubed and pampered. I kind of feel sorry for her she's going to get soooo lazy ^^^^ Ha Ha Ha Ha...wallahi that made my day, your so gifted!!

Originally posted by Cara: Munira , I love children's shows too. My favorite is Sesame Street. So tongue-in-cheek, that show. I'm sure a good number of the jokes are aimed at grown ups. When my older cousins would rather watch wrestling, I always side with the preschoolers Cara,they sure beat this reality shows,or grown up dramas...I love the sense of humour in these kids program. Johy Bravo,what a mama's boy! typical!!