-Serenity-

Nomads
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Everything posted by -Serenity-

  1. LOL@ u lot. I've been tempted to join and so I shall. Khayr, isnt gardening sort of feminine? Too Feminine for a man who blvs in the ardent separation of gender roles?
  2. Has the dirt-slinging even reached ur kitten-box Wildy? Awwww. Ignore my dear. Ignore. Welcome back .
  3. Ok Xiin, you want me to speak out? I will. Hopefully u will b more generous with the grades. Originally posted by xiinfaniin: Nuroow , this subject is neither trivial nor superficial. The fact that it is contentious does not deem it unimportant. Polygamy is surely making to the top of endangered-prophetic-traditions list and it needs to be brought, constantly, to the nomad’s attention. Of course you can only do so much to educate and tutor, and the crowd may some times become unreasonably unreceptive to your message. Repeat it, my good friend, for with repetition comes perfection. Polygamy isn't a problem by itself, and it may even be a positive experience for many families (note the word 'families', polygamy isn't just about the man's happiness or satisfaction when he comes to the fabled "crossroads of options" as some would have us believe). The problem resides in the Somali man's use of polygamy. Contrary to Nur's assertion that polygamy is the solution to numerous unnamed societal ills, polygamy for Somalis is the societal ill. It's the cause of family break-downs, long-standing sibling rivalry and feuds, absentee fathers and most unforgivably the demise of fatherhood as a concept and reality. Nur’s posts absolve the blame of the man - completely. He is here to tell the women – put up or shut up. Almost everybody here knows of at least a few families and children where there's no father figure. Others have themselves hardly ever seen their dads even if they had the fortune to meet them. Are these not societal ills? How is polygamy going to provide a solution for these when it is the cause of them? With marriage, and polygamy, comes a huge responsibility. If one is advocating for multiple marriages, they should also be addressing the conditions, restrictions and consequences of undertaking the extra responsibilities. A husband's legal responsibility to his family cannot be thrown out with a couple of flip lines reducing the price of polygamy to a wife's unhappiness. Another major problem with Nur's take on this topic, is evident in his glib way of marginalising the wife's rights in polygamy. Nur only ever looks at this topic from the husband's point of view – his fulfilment, his needs, his happiness, and his options. bot Farax and Xalimo are in marriage for mutual fulfillment of their needs, these needs however do change with the passing of time, at which point a Farax may come to a crossroads of options. Its all about the Farax. Farax changes. Farax wants something new. Farax must have a way to get it. Farax has options. Farax. FARAX. FARAX. What about HER? The dutiful wife, remember? What about her fulfilment? Her needs? Her happiness? Her options? Why are they not mentioned? Are they not worth considering? Has she not invested in the marriage as well? Has she not chosen to marry THAT particular faarax as opposed to another, maybe better, one? Has she not put energy, effort and love into that marriage? Has she not made sacrifices (most likely bigger than his) for the sake of her family? Is she really worth so little consideration that her husband should be encouraged to seek another wife if he feels he is at a ‘crossroads of options’, without at least first trying work through whatever problems may have brought them to that crossroad (note the use of ‘them’ it’s not only the faarax who will be at the junction)? If these topics are targeted at women, especially the women of this forum, why do they not address the women’s concerns about polygamy? SOL sisters have responded to these topics over and over and over again, without any acknowledgement, while their concerns are frequently reduced to mere jealousy. The only advice Nur seems to have for sisters, is to become strong-willed and accept being in a multiple marriage for the sake of Allah, which is all well and good, but it makes one wonder why such advice isn’t offered to the married men that are being actively encouraged to seek new flesh? Why is Nur always so quick to advertise polygamy, when he can just as easily advice the men to be strong-willed for the sake of Allah? Who would this policy really benefit? Sacrificing your ‘wants’ for the sake of your family and children is something that’s completely absent from the mind of most men (and unthinkable by Nur) while women around the world (and especially those blessed Somali mothers of ours) continuously do it not only out of necessity but out of choice because it’s the responsible and honourable thing to do. Would it be unreasonable to encourage married men to accept monogamy for the sake of their families? Or to praise those who happily accept single families and who may even be satisfied with the one wife? Should sabr only be for women? And is unhappiness and pain only acceptable for women? Nur's relentless posts on polygamy, his chosen method of delivery as well as his utter lack of empathy and consideration for the position and feelings of the wife can only have a negative impact on females. Maybe he should give his next polygamy-vehicle bit more thought. To your 2nd post: I am happy to report, are good and well. Among many other eNuri products, polygamy is one of my favorite ones and I like how the brother handles it with a dose of humor and creativity. Along with the other natural product xabad sowda and occasional references to how cool qudbo-siro (interesting word) is. We noted . Predictably, ambitious girls like you will not like such encouragement, and until you wrote those few words I took you as a one of few who understood the issue for what it is, and not for what some have imagined it to be *Stunned* Whatever gave u that impression? *Bemused* What do you mean by ‘understand’?
  4. ^ Why don't you join eNuri and become his secretary of women affairs? Why don’t I poke my eye with a rusty nail? Both worthy Q's.
  5. Xiin, I was wondering when you would show up. For a min, I thought the Nur-Protection-Brigade had dismantled. Which was rather shocking.. since your interests are tied to his . Yes, we do need constant reminders of how men have misused Islam as a backdrop to continually put the Muslim woman down and place her worth, esteem, feelings and capabilities last. Thanks indeed. *Amelia gives this e-nuri project a (i.e. bullpoop) tag*
  6. Originally posted by Nayruus: Are shia Muslims? Amazing.
  7. Naden, questioning is one thing. We question to seek an understanding and gain knowledge. Skepticism on the other hand is contrary to belief. You cant blv in something if you doubt it, can you now? Especially since belief/faith is having confidence in the unseen.
  8. For everything there is a season, ladies. I cant blv you remain unconvinced of the great social construct that is polygamy, even after 10 topics. Like the sheikh said, another marriage is not necessarily bad. Anyways, what does a man have to do to reserve the right for a new nookie around here? Shish!
  9. ^ I’ve a hard time deciding if ur a complete looney or a misunderstood genius. SB, I suppose that a fair argument to make. I too get critical of Muslim actions when it irks me. However, pray tell how denigrating some1’s reply specially when it concerns the Almighty, is criticism? I’m referring to this quote: The purpose of life is to worship the lord that created you. That is the purpose of life whether you believe it or not, accept it or not. How sad!I think you should reserve ur jolly and sarcasm for the right opportunity. And no Muslim should have any ‘suspicion’ or ‘skepticism’ regarding the word of Allah or for that matter the purpose of life… it defeats the purpose of belief… wouldn’t u agree?
  10. Originally posted by Kashafa: Check out this lecture by a ex-Air Force man who's title is the same as your question. That has to be one of the best sites I've seen in a while. Not only can the lectures be completely downloaded for free... but also transferred to ipods. Amen to that K.
  11. Originally posted by Pi: Anyhow, looks like someone is going through an identity crisis. Somalia has so many problems? Why am I a Somali? Waaaaaah Waaaah (violent wailing and breast-beating). When the wailing subsides, you'll be just fine. Thanks for the vote of confidence a*se. :rolleyes:
  12. Originally posted by Alle-ubaahne: They definately need to have a policy towards that inevitable reality , to make sure they reduce the burden of their forthcoming ordeals. *Shudders*
  13. SB, you’re a funny guy and sometimes you make good points. However, this consistent belittlement of Muslims is rather suspicious. I mean, no matter what you say you blv in, doubts creep in when one ‘sees differently’ with every topic discussed under Islam. Also, whether ur a Muslim or not is really no-body’s business on this site… these are mere discussions… but it would be good if u gave Islam its due because a lot of norms and values in Islam are considered admirable by non-Muslims… which is something I don’t see you do (I could be wrong as I haven’t read everything u wrote on these boards). MMA, character-assassination? That was uncalled for.
  14. LoL@Ducoqabe. First of all, the nick belongs to a respectable brother in these woods...so please give it back! Secondly, the title clearly said 'pick up line', not pick up speech. Thirdly, the scariest thing in the world is a man who proposes marriage during the 1st conversation. My 1st instinct screams sex addict runtii. But its only because I've seen brothers who are clearly sexually frustrated and go around asking as many sisters as possible to marry them (thinkin they are goin about it the Islamic way) with no regard for the woman they marry... its the marriage thats more appealing. Lastly, the best pick up line of all times still remains (atleast for me) 'Hi, my name is so-and-so... and I would like to get to know you'.
  15. Amelia: Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Why? Because Somalia has done Nothing. Nada. Zilch. FOR ME. Infact, my association with the place seems to be the only bane in my life.
  16. A woman wearing MACAWIIS What a sight! I'll definitely try one if its that comfortable. Intrude the last remaining sacred garment of the male-folk
  17. What meaningful 'advantage' is there to holding on to the Somali language?
  18. Castro, everyone knows am as innocent as a new born baby...as pure as the driven snow...as unreacheable as antarctica ...
  19. Yup. I am. I hope you've started to apply for jobs. Try not to fall into the graduated-but-no-job cycle that most somalis do. To some people, graduating seems to be the end (getting that fancy paper) and not means to an end (a job). Start applying for whatever position you see yourself in now. On average you're expected to fill atleast 25 - 40 applications, of which you will most likely get 3 interviews. Slim? I know. But nothing good comes easy. I've only done one but have every intention of doing more soon. For some weird reason, I blv I'm just lucky. I only applied to 4 places for my placement year and got an interview for 2. But then gap year jobs are a lot easier to find than graduate positions. p.s. We should have a ball.. why not?
  20. I guess this is a good time as any to tell you all about my 1/4th chinese ancestry and another 1/4th yemeni.
  21. Originally posted by Ducaqabe: I wonder if you would put forward the same reaction knowing people in your block, or city whom you go to school or work with, have as many sexual partners as you can image, probably more than 58 before they tie the knot or reach 40 years. I doubt if you go around and call them pedophile, akhas, or STIs? Please spare filmka aad inoo digeysaan. I dont think those ppl brag about it and expect to get cheered...and specially not about laying a 13yr old.
  22. I've had a closer look and the text appears blurry to me too. I'm using IE. Also, the page just covers slightly over half the space... unlike the forum... and that maybe why it seems 'congested'.
  23. Zafir, you shouldn’t try to score brownie points with Admin at my expense. I've no problems with the new features and think they are all a great addition. Your little analysis of my quote, im afraid, was off-mark. I understand this is a privately owned site and was actually upholding the owners’ right to do as they please without every1’s ineffectual suggestions. Of course, now that he is here and listening to all your suggestions...it might not be so 'useless'.