Line up every politician, past (and still alive), present, and possible future.. March them up in a straight line. Blindfold them all. Open fire, till each and everyone is dead. Pray for their souls. Get on with our lives in our country.

Bulo n OG-girl...May Allah bless you!!!

Greetings Judge, jurors, members of the prosecution and defence, SOL community and all the illegal aliens here with us today. In light of recent revelations, I have re-assessed by position and have undertaken a monumental decision. Ladies and Faaraxs, due to unforseen circumstances, I have decided to step down as a member of VeVe's...erm I mean to say Lakkad's legal team and resign. **Getting ready to throw the baby out with the bath water** Explosive new information has come into light which could turn this whole case on its head. Although, it has been a hard decision for me to reach, I have come to the realisation that the SOL community needs to know exactly what is happening in their midst. Therefore, I have taken the unprecedented step of REVEALING ALL!! First things first tho. I shall not make my exit without addressing the spurious and quite frankly silly allegations made by none other than that brown and white cow >>> **Points furiously at X-quisick** False claim #1: As for Barwaqo, the runaway slave also known henceforth as Desperado, take this! (flashing her and getting immense satisfaction that she can never have what i have!) Could someone, preferably your honour (smiling sweetly at Judge Lucky), please inform this poor misguided hag that blinding unsuspecting folks with her skeletal figure, isnt something a sane person does! Furthermore, since when has having a flat chest (or "two asprins on an ironing board" as I like to call em) become enviable? **Looks confusedly around at the gathered crowd** I suggest the stick covers herself quickly b4 we all die of excessive laughter. **Chuckles delicately before giving X a pitying look** False claim #2: Ur Honor, I hereby call upon the mental institution and the convent to reclaim its runaway oldie, as she is suffering from EXTREME delusions and jealousy. LIES! I have, in front of me, a signed document from the director of the Psychiatric Section of SOL Community Hospital himself, Mr Gediid, who is prepared to swear to my mental stability and incredible clarity of thought. I'm as sane as anyone else here today. Nay, I'm saner than most here. **Waves at Gediid** (Hoping G has the new Prozac prescription for me) By far the worst false claim #3: Things I have that Desperado desperatly seeks: 1-youth(aging heifer) 2-youth 3-my own hair (as she has a weave that would put whoopie to shame) 4-my own teeth (ms dentures) 5-a man! (she's still looking into the magazine when sean connery was a youth, oldie!) If X-qiusick is young, Tony Blair is my grandmother. If she has a man, Arial Sharon will give birth tomorrow. Unlikely tho it sounds, she does still have her hair and teeth, which is quite a miracle. Then again, can a few straggly pieces of grey be considered hair? And damn!..its not a crime to floss once in a while. Oh, the embarrasment of it. Imagine competing with me! With ME, a qalanjo by any other name. Tut tut tut... Now for the explosive news I mentioned earlier... LAKKAD and DARMAN have concocted this whole thing as a publicity stunt!! Several witnesses have come forward and are willing to testify under outh that they overheard these two buffoons discussing their dastardly plans! We have all been had, my fellow SOLers!! **Trying to calm down the sudden furor** I'm sure you are all as shocked and dismayed as I was when I heard this unbelievable news. However, why should we be surprised? After all, Lakkad and Darman have been close friends in real life for sometime. I'm just surprised none of us thought to question the possibility of this whole case being a sham in the first place. I would advice the court to arrest both culprits and convict them for wasting both our and the Court's good time. Send them down!! I'm done and dusted here. *Sways out of the courtroom without a backward glance**

WoW...hard for a sista to say no to such an offer, but am afraid I'm already taken. But I just hate not doing anything for you, so here is some insider info... *Whispering*...I hear X-Quizit is single and looking. If you don't mind having Canadian, rather than British, Citizenship, and if u dont mind putting up with a cranky, muscular and lonely bird, you may be in luck. True, being Canadian is much less exciting than being a Brit, but beggars cant be choosers. Sharci is sharci, no? Good luck and God bless. PS: If things dont work out with X-quizit, there's always a last option..>> Athena. *Looks around quickly b4 running out of the room* :eek:

^^ You know Qaxooti, David Blunkett is introducing those ID cards soon. I suggest you get your derriere to the HOME OFFICE and seek asylum, before they deport your tea-drinking, sharci-less badhi back to the bush. AlwaysLearning: I must say I was surprised by the quality of people I met offline, truly nice peeps So you finally decided to show your face when I couldn't make it? :mad: Waan fahmay sheekada. Micna malaha tho, I will get my own back maalin dhow. :mad: PS: Glad to know you all had a great time without me.

@ ^^ Baadiye Gurl, now i could be wrong but i interpreted as "opposing opinions" . Interesting interpretation. Much like Ngonge, I take 'objectionable language' to refer to offensive, crude, vulgar or sexually explicit comments, rather than simply opposing views.

LooooOOOOOOoooooL!!!!! @ X... **Sharpens her claws** This is war! I categorically deny the claim that I am jealous of X-Quizit's figure. As if!! ** Quickly takes out her compact mirror to check her appearance** (Ahh...Just as I thought...I look thoroughly ravishing ). I'm afraid X does not have a leg to stand on. The case is clear cut...X-QUIZIT is just plain incompetent. It is a miracle she was able to finish Law School. Then again, if I recall, she did get her qualifications from 'abroad'. Probably the Cayman Islands. But I digress from the issue at hand. I am sure your honour agrees with me (looking earnestly at lucky) that the complete disregard shown by X-quizit in trying to defend Lakkad at the beginning makes her unfit as a lawyer. Therefore, only a dismissal will do at this stage. Now, in order to clear my name, I would like to address some of X's supposed reasons for my presence in court today ---> One, Lakkad specifically requested my help and expertise in clearing his name. I'm sure he realised his mistake in hiring two untrained heffers almost immediately. He was always such a smart lad. For another, I couldn't give a monkey's whether X once dated Lakkad centuries ago. I'm sure even she was somewhat handsome once upon a time. Lakkad has of course confessed all his terrible mistakes to me b4hand, and I have duly forgiven him for past indiscretions. And finally, could X stop flirting with Legend of Zu, please? Its wholly unbecoming. Not only is he from Darman's camp, but he is also a married man for God's sake. How can one trust such a laywer I ask? **Makes eye contact with each of the Jury to drive the point home** Athena does not have to be dismissed. She can assist me in the case. **Hands Athena a Ribena**...such a hard-working assistant. Shall we have a recess for lunch your honour? (Eager to treat Judge Lucky to lunch)...

I cant withhold sex if I want to punish him? Aw shucks! Where's the fun in that? Hmmm...gotta figure out another plan now.

**Door crashes open** Click, click, click... Barwaaqo lays her briefcase on the table, takes a deep breath and addresses the court... As a member of the SOL community I'm UTTERLY OUTRAGED AND ABSOLUTELY APPALLED at the treatment of such an esteemed member of this site as lakkad by none other than that slander-mongering DARMAN! **Points angrily at the offending object** :mad: I would also like to advice both the court (nods at the honourable judge Lucky) and the defendant to fire his incompetent lawyer, Ms X-Quizit!. Unlike Athena, (hey girl...nice blouse! )who defended her client with courage and unflinching loyalty, X-Quizit endangered the defendant's whole case by ASSUMING HE WAS GUILTY OF THE ALLEGED PLAGIARISM from the very beginning! If I could kindly draw the attention of the court to Exhibit A, an earlier quote from the inept laywer in question: LoL Nomad, now u forced me to be on ur side, so I must defend u although I didn't agree with ur plagiarism, but im gonna let the lawyer in me come out. This clearly shows X-Quizit to be implying that her client is guilty. Is this something a remotely clever laywer would dare say in front of the prosecution, jurors and the Judge? I say NO! *Thumps the table with her palm for dramatic effect* I myself believe that there's something revoltingly unhealthy going on between the chief prosecutor, Underdog, and the defendant's useless laywer X-Quizit. Perhaps X-Quizit believes sending Lakkad down for a crime he didnt commit will endear her to Mr Caveman? This whole trial has the nasty odour of a conspiracy. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, A CONSPIRACY! between those two unholy creatures! >>> **points dramatically at the two offending objects in question** Now, as Lakkad's newly appointed barrister, I would like to request the court to DISMISS this shambles of a case due to the incompetence of the defense council (Sorry Athena...but what the hell were u doing letting X convict your client in your presence? :mad: ), and the sleazy and quite frankly illegal behind-the-scenes activities of Underdog and X-Quizit. **stares distastefully at the two-mentioned individuals b4 throwing her hair over her shoulder and looking away** As for Darman, we believe he made up this whole story as a way of getting the attention of a certain SOL lady. One who rebuffed his attentions, we would like to point out, for those of Lakkad's. (Well, what do you expect? Lakkad is HOT!) **Smiles sexily at the defendant** Therefore, this whole case is nothing but lies, lies and more lies, made up in order to get back at our client. Would the court please do as we suggest and lay this whole circus to bed? Thank you Judge Lucky. Thank you members of the Jury. We know you'll do right by our client. **Delicately sits down and crosses her legs**

CUTE, Ahh...u want sheeko in la taxo huh? I see.

Silent_Sista, I have a feeling you reminisce too much about this guy and ur past relationship. I bet you think about him whenever you feel low or depressed and make yourself even more miserable? Am I right? If so, I would suggest you undertake some drastic actions. To move on, you've got to completely wipe him from your conscience. Put him in your 'it never happened' book. Forget him. You won't feel so wretched if he's dead and buried to you. Insha'Allah b4 u know it, you will be hard-pressed to remember his name.

^^ I'm not sure how such an assumption could be drawn either. Since when does not being circumcised translate to not being a virgin? Unless we are still dealing with those old reer-baadiye myths in this age and day? :confused: King 450 Remember he might be asking you bigger then the question .He perhaps one who values his Culture,and want find out if you still hold intact your Culture or it evaporated in the air. . Could you elaborate more on that statement please? What do u mean by 'still hold intact ur culture'? Circumcision correlates directly to holding on to ur culture, miyaa? Makes me wonder if a girl un-circumcises herself when she loses her culture? :confused: Or am I taking it too literally?

Without a reason huh? LoL...not much of a dilemma really. I'll stay in....and withhold sex for 'no good reason'.

^^ Wa salaam GJ Originally posted by Geel-Jire: Good attitude helps you to get laid LoL...havent heard that b4. Regarding the topic, I wonder if 'perfection' could be in the eye of the beholder, much like 'beauty'? Kaafi, I consider myself to be perfectly imperfect.

LoL @ OG-moti and Nomad. I have to agree with the above nomads on Silent Sista...that girl is NOT silent. Ya Allah...I luv her tho, she puts ppl like Hibo and Raula in their place when they start abusing us Brits. Which brings me to part deux of my list: Raula...comes across as composed and not one to suffer fools easily on SOL...but my goodness, inantu is BRILLIANT! I feel uneducated everytime she's around. Damn sujuis..they are taking over! :mad: Mrembo...always was smart and sweet, laakiin a wicked sense of humour ayeey qarinaysay. But it all comes out in Paltalk. OG-girl...I concur...too sweet. Cant say anything bad about her. Hibo...was always direct and charismatic and somewat full of herself..hehehe. Its all good tho...I like strong personalities and this girl HAS IT ALL. Somealien...an Alien with split personalities. Scary, witty and occasionally hilarious. Xena-Fan aka Scorpion...too damn smart for her own good. I used to think she was too aggressive previously but my opinion has been revised. Sweet girl. I'll leave the male nomads for another time. Ameenah...u need to join us in Paltalk girl! Wot u waiting for? :mad:

Hmmm...cant believe I haven't seen this topic b4. WoW...ta very much ppl. Admin deserves all da praise. Nur...shukran. Gediid...the perfume is appreciated, but where's the uunsi mate? Ayoub...my whip is ready for you. Anytime.

Darman.. Ur in da wrong occupation. Become a private investigator...that's ur calling! So who's da dude then? I wanna kno...

LoL...Interesting. Am game for this game.. > Sue: I have always thought she was completely bonkers. And i was right...she's off the wall. > Athena: I used to think of her as a trouble maker, which she is but she's also incredibly nice to ppl she likes..like moi. > Shujui: For some reason I used to think he was an old man...dont kno why. But he's da opposite...young and sweet. Same with Jamaal-11. > Sophist: Sophist used to do himself a dis-service. Anyone who read his old posts would probably have thought him a stuffy old man (much like I did), but he's the complete opposite. He's the funniest, most entertaining human alive. Sharp as a shard of glass too. > Lakkad: I still have the same opinion of him from when he joined SOL, that he's absolutely fantasticos. > Legend of Zu: Used to think he was an extra-terrestrial....having discovered that he's from Australia, I have been proved right. To be cont...

LoL... *Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Istupudhity... Good one.

^^ Its a phase dear...u'll get through it soon. I hope. Insha'Allah. Addicted to SOL...and more recently paltalk. Cue even more sleep deprivation.

Xu, NGONGE...WLC to SOL. Thanks for ur intros. Name is barwaaqo, am obviously a female, trying to find an occupation at the moment, talk to myself when no-one's looking, listen to Somali music, varied interests. Barasho wanaagsan.

LoL @ Yous lot...LMAO! Sue...where on earth do u live? Wembley Central? Bisinka... The nearest marfish/makhaayad to where I live is in the next borough...so I dont have any problems with da 'Khat bums' lol. Anyways, I agree with the new bloke on da block NGONGE...its a Somali ting. Forget about cafe's, have u guys seen what happens at weddings, riwaayads and any other Somali social gathering? Yup...da faaraxz are ALWAYS standing outside. Always..even when the management beg them to come inside. At least they are consistent in that, eh?

Originally posted by Darbi: I hate job hunting! Ditto. I would rather have a tooth removed without any anaesthetic. I hate Mondays, ppl who talk through films and cooking.

Bambina, Sweetheart, I wouldn't waste my breath if I were you. The feminist discussion has been exhausted in other threads with no positive outcome. Let it go sis...No point in flogging a dead horse. QQ, So, whenever Darman posts, its because he wants to hook up with a SOL sista eh? First it was OG-girl, then DA, who's next? Anagaa wax aragnay... *Shakes head* Regarding the topic; There's too much pressure put on young girls to get married these days. Often to the point that they would marry anything and ultimately end up being one of those dreaded 'single mothers'.. The number of very young single or separated mothers (in their early 20s) is rising fast, which is so sad. They dont have much support, no-one gives a shit about them (being a divorcee is still stigmatised...even a divorced guy wouldn't want to marry a divorced woman). Despite all this, however, we still continue to advocate for girls to marry at a young age. So we can end up with even more single mothers? So we can have more juvenile delinquents from broken families, who grow up to be irresponsible and unproductive members of society? WoW...what a future we have ahead of us. My position is fairly simple...everyone (male or female) should complete their formal education, or gain some professional skills at the very least, before they attempt to get married in order to provide well for their families (notice the emphasis placed on 'well'...relying on council housing and benefits does not apply). Marry at 25 or onwards...where one is still young, but with more maturity, capability and education. What's wrong with that? eh? Answer me damn you! Having said that, we are all destined for different things, therefore I dont think it really matters at what age one gets married. As a hundred ppl already said, wixii kuu qoran waad heleysaa, God willing. Raxmah, Sweetie, I feel for you walaahi. But at least your relatives care. LoL...my relatives have never approached the subject with me, which is a little mystifying. The only thing they ever question me on is school, 'have u finished ur degree? what about your masters? why dont u apply for a job with this or that organisation?'. Being a geek has some advantages after all. I suspect they all think I'll never get married. SomeAlein...make space for this potential gumeys.

LoL @ STHLM lady! Ahahahah... Kynda, Asking such Qs is in very bad taste. If you were getting married, he probably has the right to know...but its still unpleasant.