^^ War hoy..Laas Caanood faraha ka qaad hadaadan wax kale rabin. :mad: Quruxley, I must be missing the homesickness gene or something. Ciid iyo boodh uun baa ii muuqda.

Welcome

Eid Mubarak all. Kill Xu Dead, Nothing much. Stuck in the office, am afraid. But, I'll be leaving early afternoon to get some shopping done for the kiddies. Hope you all have a good one.

Eid Mubarak to one and all. Warm wishes and Allah's Blessings to you all. Have a good day.

^ So what is your question? What's your problem people? Can't you ever follow rules? :rolleyes:

^ LoL... Desperate times indeed. 3 years to find a man AND to bear 3 children? That's a tall order! Perhaps we could set up a Benevolent Fund for The Impregnation of Bishaaro right here on SOL? Which some of the more caring brothers could donate their sperm to, and you or any other Somali woman who craves children but dislikes the baggage that come with them (i.e. Husbands) could benefit from? Wot you think? A good idea? **Gets Pound signs in her eyes** Did I say a 'benevolent fund'? Erm...

^ You make a valid point. :cool: Callypso, You're quite right. Feminists have been at the forefront of every struggle, be it Women's, Civil, Worker's, Children's or Refugee rights and everything in between.

Hi all, LoL @ Johhny...behave. Baashi, I believe there's more to feminism than that. For millions of women, feminism isn't about sexual revolution, abortion or queerism. It is about simple survival. However, that's beside the point. The focus of the thread isn't to debate the philosophy of feminism per se. It is to discuss the possibility that feminists may have inadvertently become the remaining activists for public morality. I have read so many articles discussing the fraying fabric of society as well as the negative impact of popular culture (sex, drugs and rock & roll). And I am always surprised to learn that the authors are feminists. Isn't that interesting? The only people who seem to care about these issues being feminists? Those who, according to so many people, should be glorifying in these 'freedoms'? Makes you think, doesn't it? Can I ask why your on a feminist website? You could say I am attracted to the dark side.

Dearest Zu, my deepest condolences to both you and your family. May your father rest in peace and may Allah grant him Jannah. Amiin.

^ LoL. Sheh, you might be flogging a dead horse.

Attention Seeker The Radio 1 broadcaster Sara Cox recently complained about not getting whistled at and "leched" after by men in the steet. Rosa wonders what affect her example is having on young women and takes issue with Cox's insistence that there is "no such thing as unwanted attention". Ah, let us all pity poor Sara Cox, radio broadcaster who, in a column for the Guardian supplement G2 on the 14th of June [i've Still Got It], admitted that one of the things she was refusing to accept about motherhood was the fact that men no longer whistle as she walks past the building site or the vans at traffic lights, just because she’s hidden behind her newborn daughter. I must admit that I know very little about Sara Cox, and I’ve never heard her radio show. So I began to read her article with an open mind, and even when I saw the heading, “Just because I’m 30 and pushing a pram doesn’t mean I don’t want men to whistle and lech after me†I was merely mildly intrigued as to what she had to say. And it was interesting, not because I especially care what she thinks, but because her view reflects the attitude many young women take, which, although it’s not necessarily ‘anti-feminist’, is an attitude that certainly holds feminism back. It’s part of this ladette culture that you see in the nightclubs and bars late every night in town. They drink beer to excess, flirt and dance with men as if the world is about to end, and then quite simply throw up in the middle of the street, right next to the pissing blokes. Many consider it a backlash of lad culture, because these women, although not at all to be considered submissive, and most certainly more empowered than the women of decades ago, are still conforming to the degrading culture of the ‘lad’ that many contemporary feminists are fighting to withstand. Often throwing themselves at men and taking pride in the fact that strangers find them so sexually alluring that they have to draw attention to it in public, it is this aspect of ladette culture that is evident in the article by Sara Cox, and it is this that really irks me. The model-turned-broadcaster admits right at the beginning that to enjoy being leered at by complete strangers is, “(I know it’s) pathetic, shallow as a teaspoon and just a touch vain†and yet continues to announce that she is proud of this. This is something I’m coming across more and more often these days, where women (and they always seem to be women) will happily admit that they act pathetically and are very shallow, and yet not only do they continue on in this way, but they also take pride, pride in this quality of their personality. Since when is being shallow and pathetic seen as a good thing?! The answer is since women began adapting to the rise in lad culture over the past few decades, which in itself is considered a backlash of feminism. It’s been a gradual process, and has coincided with the rise in popularity of the lad magazines (such as Nuts and Zoo) that populate the shelves in shops, and ever since men took that it was perfectly acceptable to make it quite clear in public, often using obscene language and gestures, exactly what they want some women to do with them. Admittedly, Sara Cox does not regard “raunchy requests†and “drooling†as at all desirable, but accepts that whistling is somehow ‘alright’, despite the fact that the same thoughts and motives are behind it. However, I could not judge her, and for a brief moment I felt something close to admiration for the woman who had quite shamelessly picked her nose to ward off the advances of “two men of definite dad-age in the car next to mine.†But that was until I read the next part, where the young mother began to notice a pattern. It was to do with her daughter. When walking along childless, she noticed that she could still get the occasional whistle, even if her appearance was less than her normal well-groomed self. But when accompanied by baby Lola, even with “swaying buttocks snugly hugged by tight denim, hair swishing like a thoroughbred’s tail and just a hint of cleavage, steeling myself for the deafening catcalls as I pass the building site…†shock, horror!, not one man will whistle. Not only that, but she seems quite disappointed by it, even comparing it to “when a funeral cortege drives by, they lower their eyes as if mourning the passing of my whistlebility.†But now it’s my turn to be stunned. Did she really just compare the worth of her own apparent attractiveness to that of a human life?! Does her ‘whistlebility’ really mean so much to her?! How is it that such a seemingly headstrong young woman can really value the way in which strangers make it clear how little they value her as a human being? Because that’s what it’s all about. We all know that men don’t whistle at you because they think you might be an interesting/kind/sensitive/funny person to get to know, they do it because they view you as a sexual object, and they want you to know that. And they do it not to make you feel good about yourself but to fit in with the lads, announcing to the whole world exactly what it is about you that makes them want to sleep with you. Of course, everyone is different, and I’m in no position to tell anyone what to think or how to behave. But it does worry me to see exactly how integrated within our society this tendency is. Sara Cox hosts a radio show every Saturday and Sunday on Radio 1, broadcasting to a vast number of listeners, most of whom are of the younger generation. When what young women really need are decent role models, this is what is available? How are we expected to defy the sexist male attitude that sees women as objects to be admired, when all we get from those women in the media is a happy declaration that being whistled at in the street is a Good Thing? Surely we should be challenging this view, not accepting it! And what about her daughter? Does she want her daughter to grow up believing that to be valued you must be attractive to men? After all, this is the purpose of the female sex isn’t it? This is what they want and we should all be glad for being able to please. To parade in front of men, teasing them and flirting with them, hoping against hope that they’ll notice us, because otherwise our worth will simply count for nothing. Because, according to her, “there’s no such thing as unwanted attention.†This is a simple call to all men that to act as sexist as they want in front of children. As Naomi Wolf once said, “To live in a culture in which women are routinely naked where men aren’t is to learn inequality in little ways all along,†and isn’t this just another ‘little way’ in which the younger generation are learning inequality? Frankly, I think Sara should be glad that the men who work on the building site near her are being so considerate by refraining from whistling, because there are many women out there who are still intimidated by those who couldn’t care less that you’re walking with your children. It doesn’t take long to find stories on message boards on the internet of women all over the world who suffer the indignity and humiliation in front of their children, after men have shouted obscenities or treated them with less than respect, simply because of their gender. And even for women without children, they should not be treated as if they are merely objects of desire. I’m fine with those who think these things about passing strangers, but when you voice those opinions or desires in such an intimidating way, you’re degrading the one you’re desiring, and taking away their dignity. For a broadcaster to declare that women should be proud of their ability to attract the attention of men (who, incidentally, should be concentrating on their building work), is not only reinforcing the stereotypes of male sand females that drives the wedge between the sexes in even deeper, but it’s also patronising and also dangerously damaging to the feminist movement. Street harassment is a hot topic for feminists, and a cause of great annoyance. But for me, the fact that it was a young woman openly praising this trend in our culture, was what made the article surprising and worrying. I can’t help but wonder what effect this has on the woman’s audience, on the younger generation, who are more likely to be influenced by the media’s misconception and often degrading treatment of women. And surely this cannot help the situation. And Sara can say all she wants about how fabulous it is to be noticed and to receive attention for such shallow reasons, and perhaps for some women she speaks the truth, but her last words, "there's no such thing as unwanted attention", are so final, so decisive, it hands the power back to the men. They still have the upper hand, and now they have permission to continue in their ways. But she’s wrong. Because believe it or not, there is such a thing as unwanted attention, even if women like her have no concept of it. By Rosa, 6th form student Source

Being an avid reader of newspapers and articles published both by the established and ‘alternative’ media; I have noticed a rather fascinating trend. Today’s emerging moral baton-holders all seem to be feminists. It occurs to me that modern feminism has become the one remaining upholder of decency and morality in the West. The people you see most protesting against the revolting (and decidedly misogynistic) images and ideas promoted by popular culture, other than religious groups, tend to be feminists. Most of the writers advocating for public decency and human dignity also tend to be feminists. How come, I ask myself? How have Feminists, who have invariably been portrayed as sad lesbians suffering from penis envy who believe they can appropriate men’s God-given status, come to be the only people taking a stand against the smut and trash sweeping these societies? I know this must be killing those of you who foam at the mouth at the mere mention of the F-word, but do feminists have something to contribute to society after all? Below is a rather smart and thought-provoking article written by a young teen in response to some moronic remarks made by a popular radio-personality. Enjoy.

Originally posted by Kashafa: Aerowyn(the authentic Welsh spelling, mind you, yours is anglicised), The homies can handle me. How will they ever learn how to stand up for themselves if Mother Hen is always rushing to shoo away the King Rooster. P.S. I didn't see you talking about 'negatively-charged electrons' when an esteemed Nomad called another equally esteemed Nomad a 'flaming racist bigot'( a very eloquent insult !!). but hey, don't sweat the small stuff. Keep it moving. Just ease off the partisanship. Enjoy your Afur(not dinner, but a full-fledged Afur) Dear Kash, You're rather likeable, I must say. Even at your most belligerent. If I recall correctly, you gave back as good as you got. But you already know that (not one to suffer fools gladly, are you?)! I also hope I am not as partisan as you seem to think. I like to believe that I would back you up as well, if I supported your position (hasn't happened yet, but still...) My comments were directed more at your 'solution' than any slagging match you had with others. Don't get me wrong, I think your view is more chivalrous than the average faarax's (most would rather just insult and curse the girl before calling for her death for the dishonour to her family without giving a thought to the guy responsible), but why must the punishment be so excessive? Surely, the punishment should suit the crime? I can't help wondering if you were perhaps an LAPD Officer in a former life? I'm also concerned about why the poor example must be a Jamaican? I hardly think that many Somali girls are impregnated by Jamaicans, especially when there are more than enough being impregnated by Somali morons who invariably never fail to slither off and disappear like the cowardly snakes they are! Maybe we should look into cleaning our own sewers before we start killing off other races? Just a thought. Have a nice dinner as well. :cool:

Originally posted by Viking: Aeronwen, Good communication is always commendable between parents and their children. Nevertheless, this does not always guarantee that the young will abstain from indulging in pre-marital copulation. I think those of us who live abroad are sometimes drawn to the ways of our occidental hosts, they usually have good communication with their children, but besides our apparent "inferior" communication with our parents, we seem to respect and honour them much more. The most important thing is not being a "buddy" to your child but to teach them Islamic morals (either at home or instructed at a madrasa with a knowledgable macalin ). At the end of the day, they will be making their own decisions and education (of the Deen - morals) would be more important than good communication with parents. That's just my opinion. I agree that a parent cannot be a 'buddy' with their children. They have to be a parent. Teaching them Islamic Morals and making sure they understand what they are being taught, is that not education? Would it not require good open communication between parents and children? Why should either be confined only to foreigners? And where does the West come into it? Simply being told that something is haraam, is not enough anymore. The education children receive at home must be more comprehensive and more effective. Nothing else will do. The fact of the matter is, if you are bringing up young children in a country contrary to your values and culture, you would be best advised to stay on top of the game. What worked for our parents in Somalia and Arabia in the 1960s, 70s and 80s is NOT going to work for the parents and children of today in Europe and America. They must adapt to their environment and, more importantly, they must give their children the critical skills and tools they need to survive in these countries. We all love our parents regardless of their parenting styles, but that does not mean that they shouldn't get the blame when they are not doing their jobs. The more we deny that parents are to blame for what's happening to our youngsters, the more the community will experience monumental problems.

That's really sad. Even I know of his gabayo. Allah ha u naxariisto. Allah UU naxaaristo , eheladi iyo dadki uu ka tageyna samir iyo imaa Allah ka siiyo...amiim..amiin..! Amiin.

That's a spectacular CV indeed. I only watched the first series of The Apprentice. Grand. :cool:

Lo0oL. Kashafa, stop, stop, STOP! If the hole you're digging gets any deeper, you will surely be taking a fatal freefall to God knows where. Talk about being negatively charged! :eek: Viking, The sex education you are talking about is not the parental education we are talking about. Opening communication lines with your daughters/sons, helping them talk/work through their problems/angst and giving them the confidence and self-esteemed required for them to make the right decisions and/or to say NO when they need to, is hardly the sex education they teach in schools here. No one is asking for the parents to teach their children how to use a condom or a coil. That would be above and beyond their remit as parents.

Useful article. It helps to understand that, altho a woman can essentially have a child anytime between the onset of puperty and menopause, the best time for it - healthwise - would probably be in her 20s. It boils down to priorities, I guess. If having children is very important to you, it is best prioritised. If it is not so important and you have other priorities, it might be worth putting off. Whatever the choice, the important thing is to understand that the later you put it off, the more problems you're likely to have. That way you won't suffer regrets and disappointment if things don't work out in the future (having gone in with open eyes). Of course, it all depends on wuxuu Ilaahay kuu qoray.

X Generous, perhaps, but rather naive. Every woman out there may be as good as the next one, but they cannot all suit you (even if your needs/requirements are exactly the same as every other man's, which, let's face it, they probably are). You couldn't possibly gel with all of them. But I understand the need for self-protection. The belief that all men are inherently destructive, selfish and just plain evil has sustained me as well. And it worked for a long time.

It is said that love is not real love unless or until it is tested by pain and tragedy. Unrequited love is the most tested love of all. It requires colossal strength and belief to keep burning. Perhaps that's why Boodhari's love feels ever eternal. Xoogsade : I like to think every woman is just like the other and all give womanly thing in terms of warm feelings and etc, so why pain yourself when you can get one? Well, that depends. Do you believe you are like every other faarax out there? Do you have nothing more to offer than the next Jaamac? Is there anything special about you, as Xoogsade? I believe everyone is unique. How many people out there look, think, feel, behave and dream like you? Not many I would wager. Personality, outlook, habits, attributes, likes and dislikes, chemistry...Just a few of the things that determine who we are, and who we fall in love with. Humans are not generic. Alexus : Somaliaonline is place where men are 30 plus and the girls never past 22. Some never pass 19.

Ok. I thought it may have possibly had something to do with hunger, but it is not a word I have come across before. Gaajo, baahi, oon, haa, but not Caqday. Kool...I will prolly start using it nonstop now. :cool:

^^ The US is just finishing what Muslims started a long time ago. You can hardly blame the vultures who come to feast on our dying carcass when we laid ourselves out for them.

Originally posted by A_Simple_Muslim: I think when it comes down to gudniin Vs. possibility of abortion -- I rather chop my little girls stuff. I just think it will save a lot of POSSIBLE suffering. (PLEASE NOTE THE WORD POSSIBLE) Chop her bits off to save possible suffering? LoL...that's mighty kind of you. May Allah protect any daughters you have. Amiin.

^ Maybe he has nothing useful to add. Originally posted by Alle-ubaahne: Whenever you hear about the contention of people against Gudniin, think about the freedom of sex, women's emancipation for downright causes, undermining the whole concept of Gudniin in Islamic rituals and so forth and so on. Which 'Islamic rituals' require female circumcision?

Originally posted by Khayr: what stage this is set up for but rather to make a mockery of Muslims and Divide them up more and more. Muslims can hardly blame others when they are the ones busy killing and dividing themselves.