Two parents take their son on vacation and go to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water. He comes running up to his mom and says, "Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!" The mom says "the bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says, "Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!" Mom says, "the bigger they are, the dumber they are." So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says, "Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!" @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Jenny went straight round to visit her grandmother. When she asked how her grandpa had died, her Gran explained, "He had a heart attack during sex on Sunday morning." Horrified, Jenny suggested that shagging at the age of 94 was surely asking for trouble. "Oh no," her Gran replied, "we had sex every Sunday morning, in time with the church bells - in with the dings and out with the dongs." She paused, and wiped away a tear. "If it wasn't for that damn fire engine going past, he'd still be alive." @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Maria is a devout Catholic: She gets married and has 17 children. Soon after the last child is born her husband dies. A few weeks later she remarries and over the following years has another 22 children with her second husband. After the last child is born her second husband also dies. Within a month Maria is engaged to be married a third time. Unfortunately she becomes very ill and dies. At her wake, the priest looks tenderly at Maria as she lies in her coffin, looks up to the heavens and says, "At least, they're finally together." A man standing next to the priest asks, "Excuse me, Father, but do you mean Maria and her first husband, or Maria and her second husband?" The priest says, "I mean her legs." @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother. The first said, "I built a big house for our mother." The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver." The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can't see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to teach him. He's one of a kind. Mama just has to name the chapter and Verse, and the parrot recites it." Soon thereafter, mom sent out her letters of thanks: "Milton," she wrote one son, "The house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house." "Gerald," she wrote to another, "I am too old to travel. I stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!" "Dearest Donald," she wrote to her third son, "You have the good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious."

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?" The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that." So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great University!" The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt! I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts? The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million could buy?" The boy pondered the answers for a few days, and then went back to his dad. His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?" The boy replied, "Yes, Sir. Potentially, you and I are sitting on three million dollars... but realistically...we're living with two sluts and a queer"

Title.. THE ENDLESS QUEST TO MAKE MEN MORE LIKE WOMEN ... NEW EVENING CLASSES FOR MEN ALL ARE WELCOME OPEN TO MEN ONLY Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants The course covers two days, and topics covered in this course include: DAY ONE HOW TO FILL ICE CUBE TRAYS Step by step guide with slide presentation TOILET ROLLS- DO THEY GROW ON THE HOLDERS? Roundtable discussion DIFFERENCES BETWEEN LAUNDRY BASKET & FLOOR Practicing with hamper (Pictures and graphics) DISHES & SILVERWARE; DO THEY LEVITATE/FLY TO KITCHEN SINK OR DISHWASHER BY THEMSELVES? Debate among a panel of experts. LOSS OF VIRILITY Losing the remote control to your significant other - Help line and support groups LEARNING HOW TO FIND THINGS Starting with looking in the right place instead of turning the house upside down while shouting "It's not there!â€, You’ve moved it!†or “We’ve run out!†– Open forum DAY TWO EMPTY MILK CARTONS; DO THEY BELONG IN THE FRIDGE OR THE BIN? Group discussion and role-play HEALTH WATCH; BRINGING HER FLOWERS IS NOT HARMFUL TO YOUR HEALTH PowerPoint presentation REAL MEN ASK FOR DIRECTIONS WHEN LOST Real life testimonial from the one man who did IS IT GENETICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO SIT QUIETLY AS SHE PARALLEL PARKS? Driving simulation LIVING WITH ADULTS; BASIC DIFFERENCES BETWEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR PARTNER Online class and role playing HOW TO BE THE IDEAL SHOPPING COMPANION Relaxation exercises, meditation and breathing techniques REMEMBERING IMPORTANT DATES & CALLING WHEN YOU’RE GOING TO BE LATE Bring your calendar or PDA to class GETTING OVER IT; LEARNING HOW TO LIVE WITH BEING WRONG ALL THE TIME Individual counsellors available I thought that was funny cheers

I have read 7 habits of highly effective people a few years back and its a Good book to add to your bookshelf Has any1 read "who Moved My Cheese" its a must read...

Qoute I see we got an up and coming Ayan Ali Junior wannabe. Sweetheart its a terrible thing when u refuse to live within the parameters of womanhood simply because youre in constant denial and competition with men. All this feminism will lead u to a lonely apartment at the age of 40, with no man nor kids. Accept your position in society and ulle have less comptempt...... I see you have taken the issue a wee bit personal and started attacking me agian.....mate say your piece as the topic is concerned and stop stalking me ..... I would be the better mature adult here and wont counter attack your baseless comments..... peace

Goonle...... Who's we, i didnt know that U lead a group of Juries around here.........as for what i want or do is none of your business....so stick to the topic at hand here and comment on if You have any...Not foxy intentions or desires........ peace....

Look Fella smoking isnt a big deal and its by choice..mind You its unhealthy for both sexes... first of all who are you judge others whether they smoke or have any other habits for this matter If You are so called Muslim man then Help men correct their own negative attitudes toward women. Refuse to indulge in insulting comments or incorrect statements about women. Words that degrade women ( of Nay religion) reflect a society that has historically placed women in a second class position. Women are worthy of respect like any other human being. Learn to respect women of all religions and learn to distant yourself from the double standard opinion in your head that its okey for men to smoke (whether Muslim or ethicist) and forbidden for women. we need to recognize the extent to which our values of judging others have shaped and continue to influence religious policy If we are to create a society in which ethics and social structures are based on not judging others, freedom and dignity,then....... Thou should Not Judge others……Only God is to Judge cheers

We all seem to have one way or the other short term memory loss, The worst thing about misplacing or losing a mobile phone, is all the un- replaceable Numbers/contacts in the memory, as for the phone is concerned, a basic Insurance should cover the costs. Besides on the good note the loss helps You get a free upgrade of a new phone/or of the same value it was insured for. May I strongly recommend mobiles that are pc friendly which could be hooked up ur laptop/desktop to upload all your phone contacts/received massages / numbers/memory………saves the daylight out of jesus when push comes to shovel. I once forgot my wallet in a friends place and showed up at the airport 30 min b4 flight departure going over to another continent , by the time I called up I had 2 choices, miss the flight or leave the wallet behind and wait in the next stop to be sent via the DHL……so my friends its normal to forget things Hope U cope a day or 2 without a mobile

Walalo Xafsa, I am no expert when it comes to which diet or plan would suit each individual, but I will share what I know when it comes to healthy tips on loosing and keeping fit. First of all let me touch some base about the cabbage soup, also known as the Soup diet and a closely related cousin of the Negative Calorie diet: Basically its a very low calorie diet; the Cabbage Soup Diet works, temporarily, by cutting daily calories to near-starvation levels, coz all U eating is vegetables that have been boiled. the Cabbage Soup Diet plan is very strict. The idea is to eat as much cabbage soup as you like every day - enough to keep you full up, but its ridiculous You will or can only carry on such diet on a short term to lose certain kilos, and how is it You lose those kilos, coz U have limited ur average daily calorie intake required by your body due to its weight and height. On the short term most people would lose weight very quickly. However, the loss of weight will come from loss of water and muscle tissue not from fat reserves. The combination of foods "allowed" would force most people to nearly starve each day. SO walalo this is a short-term "quick fix" diet to lose weight quickly. It is not a solution to a healthy, long term eating plan. Dietitians say A balanced, healthy diet combined with exercise is still the most effective and safe long-term way to lose weight. However the results are gradual and require perseverance." Walalo so eat more often but fewer calories this way your diet should create a mild caloric deficit. In other words, your body should burn off more calories than you take in and do power walking or brisk walks for 45 min for 3-4 days and that way U don’t have to leave ur newly born child with no one……it’s a win win sitaution……try to ovoid eating Carbs during late at nite, infact stop eating Carbs from 5pm 0r 6pm onwards…… Hope that helps Cheers

Hi Gals Okey here it goes, I am sure almost half of us in here owns or had owned a pair jeans. They might be washed up, Rugged, sexy, versatile and possibly the most popular item of clothing around, jeans are never go out of fashion, in fact they keep on being reinvented by the season. Nowadays, the right pair can take you all the way from your desk (on Fridays since it’s a casual day wear) to dinner to the dance floor and back again. Denim is an essential must have -- Great-fitting jeans are the ultimate wardrobe essential -- and the hardest to find. Ones that both fit and flatter your figure and what to pair it to suit different occasions…. So lets share in here some classic save the day sort of Jeans dress code with out going through fuzz of deal……!!!!!……I could come up with a few (Hint: the options of dressing up with pair jeans are limitless) The Cant Be Bothered Look>>>>>>>> fitted T.shirt with low-cut bootleg denim jeans, to go with Sketchers/sneakers…don’t forget the belt The Not too casual yet not dressed up rebel>>>>> straight fitted denim with a classic top that does the business day/nite to top it up with khaki bobmer Jacket, shoes (boots or open toes flats/medium heels) The Casual Summer Look>>>>>> folded denim up to get the three quarter look pants, paired up with stretch cotton cuff shirts, top it up Fitted one button microfibre/denim/any fabric jacket complete it with flat out in low-rise tie shoes The Chic/flirty/Dressy look >>>>>>pair the low cut Denim flares with tunic three quarter inch sleeves and top it up with flirty heels. Add a few classic jewelry pieces and you are ready to head out for an evening (let your imagination do the math to the endless possibilities). So lets here it how many of U felt that pair of jeans is an ultimate investment Next time we gone talk/discuss about Perfumes/Make ups/Essential Accessories

Lolz Rahima....GYMs are cheeky buggers that are there to rip people off.....its their middle name..... You should advertised on a local paper or an auction site and do a Tranfer of Membership once U have a potential buyer....since your deal would be much better than the one the GYM would be offering to new members and prolly U have a cheaper rate cheers

….Skinny lil Xalima ey! Lucky Bugger So do U alternate your resistance training days and Cardio work out days Mizz,? If You want to gain weight (healthy one that is due to your massive shrinking body….Just kidding Gal) then you should do more resistance training. Only do no more then 10-15 min of Cardio, besides You will still burn calories while doing resistance training. And since size isn’t the issue in your case trying eating carbs with your protein, so that consumed Carbs would be the immediate fuel while working out, instead of your body going to your reserves, which is why your loosing more weight, instead of gaining. For both with anemic conditions, shouldTry prunes and dried apricot, they are known to have good source of Iron. They say Consuming Vitamin C, meanwhile, helps increase the amount of iron your body absorbs. Chick peas/red beans is a very good source of Iron too. Zhep, I guess that covers your work out routine ( those Bloody platforms ..... do run up the stairs mise you use the Escalators....lol just being cheeky) If you are intending of cutting back on all dairy products, due to its benefits of reducing Hay fever, then how do U intend to get ur calcium intake, unless otherwise U were planning to take supplement or switch to soy products which they say, it is a good source of high-quality protein, B-vitamins, iron, and calcium. cheers

Hi Ladies The below discussion is all about how we Xaliimo’s stay healthy/fit through everyday life. As women, we all want to look and feel our best. This is not always easy, considering the busy life today's woman leads and the many responsibilities she may have. It can be tough to find time for exercising and eating right to have that toned body or even maintaining it, not to mention controlling stress! Having a healthy diet is sometimes easier said than done. It is tempting to turn to less healthy food choices the likes of take away after a long day at work/school because they might be easy to get. And yes who can resist the good old Baariis iyo basto not to mention with hilib…..As they say You are what You eat! Developing and nurturing a positive body image and a healthy mental attitude is crucial to a woman's happiness and wellness… So how do You ladies stay in shape? (lucky for some who have High metabolic Rate and are genetically skinny) What’s the do’s and don’ts in your daily diets? Do you have a balanced diet that suits your lifestyles? Are there especial foods that are high in content of (Carbs, Fats or Proteins) You Ovoid and what sort of healthy eating habit do your body normally responds to? As for me, this is what works for me to maintain my ideal body weight: -Try not to skip breakfast or any meal for that matter unless otherwise impossible Snack on fruits -Stay away or minimise the combination of Basto/bariis plus hilib (don’t get me wrong ladies basto / bariis/hilib is good food but it has a way on showing up on your hips…..) -Try to cut back on bad Carbs and instead try to stick to complex carbs especially those high in fibre, water, minerals and vitamins -Eat lots of ….chicken/red meat/tuna/ Veges…not too keen on salads -Jump on the exercise wagon 2-3 times a week, preferably high impact Cardio workouts Q Has anyone tried Pilates or Yoga……I know I haven’t and wanted to know what’s the Fuzz is all about? So that’s my piece……let the sharing of what works for whom begin

Good On U fidel but one must ask what ur ineterest is on the "Monogamy: Fidelity and Infidelity in Animals and People" might be, not that i am a firm believer on monogamy toghether forever as humans co-exists and soon be people of utter most enemies for physical/emmotional reasons, but ur choice of books is a worry to digest in the first place? they say "Once a cheater always a cheater. Is this statement true? Do you think people should be allowed one mistake" personally we should be all allowed some window of chance, so far as infidellity dont live exclusively within our consciousness, or in the core of our being, Infidelity attacks the essence of what we desire. that dont mean U cant cheat in one aspect or two, but U need to repent once an for all for the sake of those around of U..... I I havent read this book but I am looking forward to it, to see what it has in store for us? May God bless and forgive Us all..Amiim cheers

hey Nomads Good to see that U have different opinions in different books and so forth, which's a good starting point to exchanging ideas....... Did any1 read about Sun Tzu's "Art of war" not that i am initiating any art of war but just inquiring about if any1 might have come across it, as the art of war might relate to other factors in daily life... it just happens to be one of the old time books I admire in reading and learning an ongoing living experience....... If i were to recommend one or two books of my old timers would favourites it be "Art of War" by Sun Tzu and the seat of the soul by gary Zukav's Theme("There is a great vision that comes from beyond the personality. Each of us is now being drawn, in one way or another, to that same great vision. It is more than a vision. It is an emerging force. It is the next step in our evolutionary journey). and i am sure alot of U might have heard of it.....i recommend on the art of war and see how it would adapt/ or relate to ur daily life or to our lives and how could benefit from such benefits offered in the old days wisdom cheers :cool:

yeah right....Give me a break dee ehm ehm funny that U say that sis, I am inclided to believe that I am nothing, yet but another beginner on SOL, since my posts are below the minimuim #'s to be a fully qualified for Silent stalker's position..... :cool: "Read not to contradict and confute, nor to believe and take for granted, nor to find talk and discourse, but to weigh and consider." cheers

Qoute All the real players here know the only two reasons a brother gets married. Most important of all its to keep your seed alive and create a new generation, Suaal, did some .... person inform You that ur so called mis guided seed( sperms with lack of direction to start wit) or with such mentallity would Go far beyonds the borders of the unrealistic life? secondlly, did it ever occur to U that most ladies choose to keep clear of men with idiotic behaviours or with your sort of mentalities and of Ur breed coz they knew what they wanted/ and more capable in achieving more in life instead of having or accompanying ****** with retard seed producing factories ( I dont wish to point fingures here)...( no offence to the good men...I only have a beef with the above Nomad) We all have affections, and we often say that we "love" certain things, activities, situations or people in this case what we would like to take the micky out of as we say in my parts of the planets Waryaa waa inanka isku sheegay ganoole, next time isku Xishoo and try not to generalize topics single handed respect fellow sisters and brothers [ July 19, 2005, 11:25 AM: Message edited by: Zephyrine ]

And here we go again with a new topic, I finally finished The Da vinci Code By Dan Brown and am currently reading on Angels and Demons by the same author and (finally!) and having a grand time in reading these books and I give it 2 thumbs up!!!! its a must read for those of You that havent read it yet....needless to say its has been hailed by book critics. What are you reading, and how is it? and would U recommended it to members of SOL cheers....

Hey there, Sis, sorry for assuming that U were a sis, since I made the least effort in reading through the whole thread, call me lazy or what ever, I take blame of all counts found guilty of.....sound like a saint/nun lolz soon U folks might ask why do u choose christain identities, only Lord knows such myterious questions than Y must one ask? anyway, kinda forgot what was I to ask....blame it on the sheydaan that made me forget...looolz Yea h right why would one marry??//..... If U ask me, just to get laid...lols thats just a joke....okey on a seriuos notes may be you want to be a passionate, intense relationship, and it's crucial to be committed than the whole marriage circle might suit U . call me a mad pyscho analist....or what ever........but tend to be a firm believer of the cynical world..lolz with bit smiles since i happen to have white teeth that are symmetric....... cheers '"Read not to contradict and confute, nor to believe and take for granted, nor to find talk and discourse, but to weigh and consider."

If Only life was that simply in order to answer what we women want and how men would attempt to inderstand us in the simplest form, would have we transmitted stone ages sort of singnals ( brothers No offence but might I add some of U are way behind in the signalling age..lolz) Unfortunately, now adays ladies would like to have it all ( wealth, status, looks and educational back ground( to back up logically argumets) yet at the same time be a charismtic sort of bloke with a charms of a saint, with killer looks( preferablly tall build and looks after one self would be an advantage) not to mention the havin a click on chemistry would a bonus plus. yeah right....dont we all love that.....( in may case I advice keep on dating and filtering through no rush so far as ur famlies are aware of what U r up to in the long term....lolz) yeah right!!!! lets go back to subject at hand so what makes U thing U have the right to base him on a scale out of 10, Just cause u might have thought that he might be the right person? There's no right person, so stop worrying about it. The truth is, most of us won't just meet one person and stay with them for life, but three or four serious lovers( husbands if U want to be politically correct ) Each of those people will have been right for us at that time, so relax. and stop lableing a certain frame on the back sets of our mind frame. Pay attention to your gut reaction research has shown women are usually right when it comes to spotting unfinished business when it comes to his package or playing up fronts. that dont mean women themselves dont have a game of their own,.so stop being an angel and be upfront . If it appears he's just still healing from his/(or may be our own darkness past and are still comparing with others we have had, but truly does want to be with Him/her, then i reckon take a leap of faith. We'd all love it if our partners had never loved anyone but us. Sadly, it's virtually never the case. Moral of the story, none of us whether male or female gender is a saint or a nun, and within us enclosed in our lil own thoughts are, that we are entitiled to find our perfect match which is a far fetched.... God bless us all and may we all find our so closed of a perfect picture in our lil perfect set minds.... A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. – Herm Albright

Fridays is the most looked forward to of the week in anytime of the week...... to me fridays is the begining of endless time of being free and partying till the dawn since there is no work U have to report to on saturday/sunday. it also means stay or hang out on thursday nite out since friday day wont be longer than other week days. Getting up on fridays mornings looking forward to the next 48 hours as the best in ur working week.......(Be ur own Boss for some of U's) life is nothin but a party and at ur own time frame ( provided ur finances are well planned for the occassion, i seriously dont endorse in blowing it all on a weekend) so... come 08.30am t0 1pm means serious work and what so ever called meetings and forcasting for the week to come......01:00pm to 02:00pm means so called lunch which we spend planning ahead for the nite ahead ( what does that tell U, we the employees are a bunch of lazy buggers) after 4pm comes the after noon tea, and from 4pm on wards, a whole day/nite blossoms namely known as the friday symptom......no need to explian such symptoms folks...( use ur imagination if it comes to worst) come 5ipm ish comes the calling around....of who is doing what on a friday nite and what have You........ and then comes the saturday afternoon, as most ppl would have have slept in on a saturday day, due to a late nite on a friday....... and there starts another usual cycle on what's on in town and around...... and God bless on long week ends,,,especailly saturdays with a sunshine on the forecast and before U know sunday comes knocking on ur damn door....damn on sundays........ God Bless the week ends and Fridays since its the start of such a blessing.......... cheers

Buying a home is the big dream to most ppl and its not surprising then,its also the single most likely area for ppl to get ripped off. The only conclusion( that I personally could reach) to why we somalis dont like getting in to morgage is simple; we dont like being tied down to a long term finance( 15 -25 yrs long) hanging around our neck, why is it that we can committe to a car finance, or a personal loan or be it credit card with interest as high as 19.5%. Yet a simple morgage is such a big headache, or may I be politically correct in somali terms as being big fat Ribo......yeah right!!! its amazing how hypocrite we tend to be when it suits our interests putting religion aside......( dont get me wrong here ...i am not anti religion but merely stating the facts of todays life style). Amazing isnt when its all good and okey to claim benefits of all kinds and sorts, reason being its all okey to rip the social welfare off since its only western Governments and its by all means halal money,( we all in here know some one that claims benefits as if its a Godly right regardless. Yet its a big ribo when we take loans( let it be credit cards, hire purchases, car finances for so called short terms even though it attracts high interests) on the same term we all know some family member if not ourselves that firmly beleives that(morgage for long term is wrong and big ribo) yet the chances of one day owning the house and passing it to our children is a great possibilty. Makes You want to ask the question sometimes whether we as somalis have our own religion that is seasonal for certain occassion! cheers

Hello Nomads If the last bullet were for use to something productive, personally I would have wished it was a machine gun that fired with unlimited bullets at will and would have used it on the ignorant poeple with stiff stubberness that existed in this wide world...... "If you think education is expensive, try ignorance". cheers Read not to contradict and confute, nor to believe and take for granted, nor to find talk and discourse, but to weigh and consider." Immediate

Hello Dear nomads Didnt watch the show, therefore, my comments are very limited to such subject at hand or to that broadcasted show in discussion, needless to say that I still have enormous respect for Oprah and for all the good deeds she does for the love of Human kind especailly in regards to women from all sorts of ethnicity....lets not get carried away from one aspect of explaination which might have been purily driven to boost broadcasting ratings for that immediate purpose....... cheers “Read not to contradict and confute, nor to believe and take for granted, nor to find talk and discourse, but to weigh and consider."

My piece here is: None of us in here can advise U on what U should be doing or even thinking of for U to act on......simply we might have our no good on adds on's here and there nac nac for the sake of saying a word of .....this is honesty in it's simplist form...Lolz...Moral of the story is get your priorities straight and Know what is best for U and what suits U in that current situation.......apart from that I wish U all the best in which ever direction U choose cheers All Nomads.... “Read not to contradict and confute, nor to believe and take for granted, nor to find talk and discourse, but to weigh and consider."