This is just of the hell of saying: Let there be light, a garden, fashion, a tower, a flood, some jews with rules, some odd books, shepherds, wise folk and a carpenter, stories with morals, stories without morals, passion, some more odd books, apostles, more light, fire, violence, guilt complexes, monsters, an end! Story begins High hopes, people stuff up, try again. Moments of great clarity and more high hopes. Try again and learn from your mistakes. Great role models, great stuff ups. Become what you are! High hopes, disappointments. Don't repeat the ****** things, learn from the past. Value yourself, value others. We are a W.I.P. The story goes on ... cheers See the humor side of life'.,. there is more to life than being serious

I for once would like to explore in the unspoiled lands of New Zealand, and have an un spoiled vacation in Queenstown, or some where in the south island ( thank God ofr Peter Jacksions Explorations of New zealand "the sheep shackers".....kiwis are quiet a nice bread to share a pint or pie with..... cheers

its'nt* I meant cheers Sorry for the double posting

I thought we were going to be serious about the thread since its over 2 yrs old or so....... come on fellas and chicks its that hard to put forward what u actually do for aliving.......I thought putting a figure on how much U make on a yearly amount was more difficult..... PS >>>>>>Event Co-ordinator as profession...and God Knows its all fun cheers

Zu Mate, why a finger nail for each thumb, how about You chop the whole finger.... but i must warn You, I have mastered the art of Kung Fu and Could be kinkin U to the curb b4 u lay a finger on my nails..... in a fashionable way :cool: cheers

Zephy...... The saying I heard was "Ha isfaanin ee ha lugu faanshee"......i dont know if its widely used tho...... cheers PS I dont see the need to disclose the amount i earned last financial year ...., but it was a decent package, cant complain ---alxamdulilaah cheers

a New bible that can be read in 100 mins has just been published...Who needs that long? Here it is in less than 400 words.......... for those in a even bigger hurry, tkaen from The Guardian. God created heaven and earth in six days. He then made Adam, quickly followed by Eve when he saw that Adam was bored. Their descendants proved a real disappointment, so he flooded the world and started again. But God continued to have a lot of problems. Abraham was OK, but Jacob cheated on his brother and Joseph was such a prima donna that his brothers sold him into slavery. Moses tried to lay down the law but it took an almighty strop for anyone to notice. Joshua killed a lot of people; so did Gideon; in fact most of the judges and kings were lying psychopaths. Understandably the Jewish people needed to relax, so they sang psalms to the tune of Kumbaya. Back in the action and it was still looking grim. A few grumpy prophets apart, it was bloodletting on a grand scale all the way. Things improved when an angel got Mary pregnant in 1BC. Joseph was very understanding about this and nine months later Jesus was born. Various shepherds and wise men paid their respects before Jesus was whisked out of town to escape Herod. He spent the next 30 years chilling out before beginning his ministry when John the Baptist was arrested. Jesus tried to avoid publicity but it was hard to keep a low profile when he was pulling off stunts like raising the dead. So it wasn't long before he collected some disciples, and from these he chose his main crew, the apostles. Much of Jesus's teaching was captured when he spoke about the meaning of humility during the Sermon on the Mount. Apart from forgiving sins, he also said that anyone who divorces and remarries commits adultery. These views made him extremely unpopular, but calling himself the Messiah was the last straw. When he rode into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday he knew his days were numbered. On the Thursday night he was betrayed by Judas and taken before Pontius Pilate, who offered the Jews a chance to reprieve him. They refused and he was crucified and buried. He rose from the dead on Easter Sunday. Jesus reassured his followers he was for real and over the next 40 days he made a number of other appearances before going up to heaven. cheers

Meeshani waa laysku hanjabayaa...... :rolleyes: cheers

A good pair of denim jeans goes a long way, come rain or shine.......we love them and we live in them...comes in every style, every mood and every budget.....Investing in a pair of the sexiest, latest hip hugging denim jeans goes a long way for the fashionably conscious... :cool: cheers

A wealthy married man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he said he would pay her a large sum of money if she moved to Italy to raise the child. He would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card and write "Spaghetti" on the back. He would then arrange for child support payments to begin. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. Honey, she said, "You received a very strange post card today." "Oh, just give it to me and I'll try to explain it," he said. The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white and fainted. On the card was written: "Spaghetti,Spaghetti,Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without".

The Pleasures of Smoking You light a cigarette and inhale.through the science of technology and the efficiency of the body, it takes 5 heart beats and 7 seconds for nicotine to reach your brain . ahhhh nicotine stimulates your brain to release dopamine ( the pleasure centre ). Your body experiences a surge in heart rate and blood pressure, blood vessels squeeze smaller ( diminishing oxygen and reducing circulation in the hands and feet ), and brain waves are altered. Ohhhh. sweet addiction. As acknowledged by university smokers, smoking the benefits are..just to name a few...... -Improves Concentration, Reduces stress & tension Controls appetite, Reduces anger and Frustration So why do so many people bug you to quit? Coz they care Thought I bring some humor in the topic cheers

I fail to see the connection between the suicide and the ramadan....... I think the ramadan being around the corner publicity is over done in SOL....so far there were more than a few threads dedicated to it and yes we get the message, But No need to tie its knots to sad stories or why such and such person committed what ever they did......... cheers

Hey Johnny B I would have voted for U, but unfortuately I dont know how to cast a vote or a star what ever its called on this site.....I give U 2 thumbs Up cheers

IN THE BEGINNING (read the whole thing...) In the beginning God created the heaven and the Earth. And the Earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Devil said, "It doesn't get any better than this." And God said, "Let there be light" and there was light. And God said, "Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit," and God saw that it was good. And the Devil said, "There goes the neighborhood." And God said, "Let us make Man in our image, after our likeness, and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air and over the cattle, and over all the Earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the Earth." And so God created Man in his own image; male and female did He create. And God looked upon Man and Woman and saw that they were lean and fit. And the Devil said, "I know how I can get back in this game." And God covered the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. And the Devil created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 79-cent double cheeseburger. And the Devil said to Man: "You want fries with that?" And Man said: "Supersize them." And Man gained 5 pounds. And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair. And the Devil brought forth chocolate. And Woman gained 5 pounds. And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad." And the Devil brought forth Ben and Jerry's. And Woman gained 10 pounds. And God said, "I have sent thee heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them." And the Devil brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained 10 pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof. And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds. And the Devil brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPNand ESPN2. And Man gained another 20 pounds. And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil." And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And the Devil peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And the Devil created sour cream dip. And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And the Devil saw and said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest. And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery. And the Devil canceled Man's health insurance. Then God showed Woman how to peel the skin off chicken and cook the nourishing whole grain brown rice. And the Devil created light beer so Man could poison his body with alcohol while feeling righteous because he had to drink twice as much of the now-insipid brew to get the same buzz. And Man gained another ten pounds. And God created the life-giving tofu. And Woman ventured forth into the land of Godiva Chocolate and upon returning asked Man: "Do I look fat?" And the Devil said, "Always tell the truth." And Man did. And Woman went out from the presence of man and dwelt in the land of the divorce lawyer, east of the marriage counselor. And Woman put aside the seeds of the earth and took unto herself comfort food. And God brought forth Weight-Watchers. It didn't help. And God created exercise machines with easy payments. And man brought forth his Visa at 21 percent. And the exercise machine went to dwell in the closet of Nod, east of the polyester leisure suit. And in the fullness of time, Woman received the exercise machine from Man in the property settlement.

Wax ku dhaafay oo naf leh ma jirto. Meeshaan madaxaa lays haystaa habeen iyo maalin. Sheikh Nur baa lagu soo daayay General section-ka. Tumoow & tarxiil baa meesha ka socodo. Washamsina waa laguugu qaadaa, inta indhaha laguu duubo. Made me laugh out hard Good one Naku, it was a Classic analyzation of current issues around the General section.....One wonders why the Islam section isnt in use! cheers

Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary. THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much that her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question. (second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she wondered wistfully. (Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, ****** , Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!" (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent. (Gary) Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F--KING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" (Rebecca) A-hole. (Gary) ***** (Rebecca) F__K YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL! (Gary) Go drink some tea - whore. (TEACHER) A+ - I really liked this one

3 girls died and were brought to the gates of heaven. Upon entering the gate they were halted by Peter and his obedient. Peter asked the girls, "Before entering you must answer this simple question. "Which is ...?", they replied in unison. "Have you been a good girl?", he asked the first girl. "Oh yes", she said. "I was a virgin before I got married and was still virgin even after I got married." "Very good", said Peter. "give this girl... the golden key." "Have you been a good girl?", he asked the second girl. "Oh,quite good", she said. "I was a virgin before I got married but was not after I got married." "Very good", said Peter. "give this girl... the silver key." "Have you been a good girl?", he asked the third girl. "Oh no, not at all",she said. "I practically have 5ex with every guy I met before and after I got married. Anywhere, anytime". "Very good", said Peter. " give this girl.......my room key."

A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job." The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year." The guy, wide-eyed, says, "You're bullshittin' me!" The social worker says, "Yeah, well... you started it." cheers

A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job." The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year." The guy, wide-eyed, says, "You're bullshittin' me!" The social worker says, "Yeah, well... you started it." cheers

shit Happens •Taoism: Shit happens. • Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens." • Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit. • Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not. • Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening? • Hinduism: This shit has happened before. • Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah. • Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible. • Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel. • Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it. • Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else. • Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen. • Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it. • Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it. • Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another. • Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another. • Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it. • Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!) • Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay. • Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again. • Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us? • Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work. • Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday. • Creationism: God made all shit. • Secular Humanism: Shit evolves. • Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray! • Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind. • Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit. • Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit. • Utopianism: This shit does not stink. • Darwinism: This shit was once food. • Capitalism: That's MY shit. • Communism: It's everybody's shit. • Feminism: Men are shit. • Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us... ???†?????????????? Cheers

eehm...we do care damn with cricket.....Daah apart from that we recken there is much more to life then cricket and Rugby.....let alone any favoured Aussei supported sport...AFL goes along way cheers

There are loads of places to hang out, depending on what sorta music U fancy or crowd.... Try the Bar Rumba. they play all sorts...thursdays...is mainly known for Drum & base....they also play hip R&B and Old funky soul Music as well....not to mention Salsa music and a funky House music......Worth checkin it out...They do especail guest DJ's most week ends as well cheers PS they do host comedy clubs as well which kinda kick starts your evening ....

THIS IS THA FIRST TIME THA BRITS BEAT US AUSSIES IN LIKE WAT? 30 YEARS?....NOW IM NOT GOOD WITH STATISTICS BUT I WOULD CALL THA A FLUKE!!MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA......FLUKE... correction Mate....it has been since 1987.....not 30 odd years ago....and yes it will another 18 months were we face the Aussies in down under( home soil) , and You can bet ur 2 cents that we will retain the ashes series....with likes of Flintoff....an all rounder...You can kiss the ashes good bye for the next decade to come cheers

How's every1 doing on this wednesday ...... Thought I might as well bring thr troll section to life...... How about that ashes series ey!.....Non stop celebration in Uk for the last few days ey... Cheers PS Its about that those BloodY Aussies Lost

Cajaa'ib....... Indha adakaa reer Gar dheereyaal.... Next think we hear or see will be Gar dheereyaal demonstrating infront of all entertainment venues to spot/stop any muslims that are about to commit sins......bal Maxaa kaga shan iyo toban aha.....shaqalaan baa haysa...... cheers