Originally posted by Lychee: Is it normal for a women to have a commitment phobia? Maybe I should seek some medical help. I mean, it's usually men who have these issues, right? :confused: Are you even committed to someone at the moment, or is it just random fear?

Hugh Jackman & Rachel Weisz

Its sad when you think something as beautiful as a mutually consented marriage is the same as going to 'prison', when its basically a 'symbol' that you want to spend the rest of your life with this person that you love. You or your fiancee could die the very next morning as a newlywed, or you could clock in 70 years together, you simply don't know, so please don't insinuate that 'marriage' is somekind of hideous thing in life that will hold you back on your dreams, and must be avoided with all cost. This anxiety has nothing to do with marriage, but instead the little voices in your head use this as a cloak to hide what your really feeling, and why in your mind 'marriage' feels like deathrow. To me its very simple and natural; Q: Do you love love her? A: I love her. Q: Does she love you? A: She loves me. Q: Is there an alternative person in your life? A: There is no one in the back of my mind i'm waiting for. Q: Is there an alternative person in her life? A: There is no one in the back of her mind she is waiting for. Q: Will you support her with her dreams? A: I won't hold her back on her dreams. Q: Will she support you with your dreams? A: She won't hold me back on my dreams. Q: Does your parents and family love her? A: They love her more than they love me. Q: Do her parents and family love you? A: Yes! TOTAL = Marriage is a beautiful symbol that should give anyone genuinely in love a euphoric feeling of anticipation, not ''Lious Theroux goes to San Quentin prison''. If these questions in your head come out with different results or your not sure then most likely your marriage will score an F, and you should seriously reconsider. Originally posted by Aaliyah416: somali kids in the diaspora are good example..abt 70% of them are being raised by single moms ...and they are lacking descipline, education, and obviously religion...just my thoughts... my 2 cents What in the world?, you ripped that figure straight from a study on African American single mothers and have applied this on the Somali community. Why?

Chocolate force him, get a few male relatives of yours and force him. If my sisters husbands acted like this i would go Jeepers Creepers on them and eat the flesh of their rotten corpses, and i would seriously stomp the hell out of these corrupt Wadaads if they dared to open their mouths. I'm not a violent guy btw. also women need to wisen up, because some enter relationships that have only one ending and thats a freaking train crash. Judge a potential companion by how he treats other women in his life, wether they be his sisters, mother or an ex-wife, if he treats them like sh1t, then its not rocket science what your own fate will be in the long run.

Smell like their dad? Some women are really disturbing.

Script Alert: Ding Dong, Ping Pong Kling Kling, Ring Ring

Script Alert: Ding Dong, Ping Pong Kling Kling, Ring Ring

Nayaada* Stop this terrible business now! Somali women look the best when they stay natural. Its like your painting purple flowers on a smooth red Porsche, why the hell would you do that for? *I love the safety of internet.

Well sister Max, it was exactly our African brothers who sided with the Emperor when President Aden adressed them on this issue. Every group of people were and are mistreated the world over, name me an ethnic group and i can find you dozens of examples, this however does not mean one can justify it. There are plenty of wealthy black South Africans who could invest in these townships, but they prefer their victorian neighbourhoods. They have a non-white president and a majority non-white cabinet and armed forces, they have the power to balance the inequality in that country out, there is no need to look for an apology from Queen Elizabeth II or Queen Beatrice, because the former monarch's country colonized S.A and the latter monarch's country was the origin of the settlers. Its South Africans and Africans in general who have the power to change. You are not eating the fruits of slave labour, modern Britain was build by ordinary folk who worked 18 + hours a day in coal, copper and other unsafe factories, these workers included underage British children performing back breaking child labour, these famine plagued and disease ridden people were the backbone of Britain's industrial revolution. The slave trade only contributed 5% to the British Economy. Remember it was the British navy that abolished slavery wherever they went, and they went everywhere! Many other minor countries at the time like the US and Spain followed suit. If this British redemption of their bloody slavery past had not occured who knows when this disgusting practice would have ended, maybe the West like Saudi Arabia would have only outlawed it 40 years ago?

Maxaatiri, WAKE UP, this is not your damn fight, we don't have a slave heritage, and unlike our African brothers across the continent we seek to destroy the badly drawn colonial borders not preserve it. Instead of asking for an apology about events that did not include your people, or did not happen in your lifetime, why not ask the South Africans to stop killing Somali entrepreneurs, since it was us as a people who welcomed their refugees and their leaders in Somalia while they were still under a brutal Apartheid regime. This is happening today, not Cecil Rhodesian times. Wake up! btw On the China issue, why is it when the Chinese invest in African economies and award big sum loans it is called 'neo-colonialism' or 'exploitation', but when the United States did the same thing 60 years ago in a wartorn and famine stricken Europe it was called the Marshall plan?

Originally posted by Janna: Back in the days in Somalia I have been informed that it was physical abuse used against Somali women to bend to the will of a Somali man. Now, that it is modern times, our men have upgraded to emotional abuse since this is a greater tool to crush those women that are above them. Spare us these hearsay 'unsubstantiated' sob stories of 'Old Somalia', Somali women were always a force to be reckoned with in Somali society, not these pathetic docile creatures that your painting in your post. They could marry whomever and where ever. It was common back in Somalia for a woman to divorce and marry, then divorce and again re-marry, and none of these situations were polygamous marriages where she became a second or third wife and none were done under duress. Secondly Khayr doesn't speak for all 30+ or young Somali males, who from my own experience don't fear women who are more succesful than them, which in our community is actually nothing but a myth, so i'd appreciate it if you didn't generalise or threw us all under the same damn bus.

Thanks for indirectly confirming that your earlier point of ''polygyny being historically the norm'' was wrong, by ignoring my rebuttal. As for your other weak argument of women outnumbering men in our community, where is the proof? How do you know the excess of females are actually adults, capable of entering serious commitments like 'marriage'? Where is zie proof, mein herr?

Khayr stop embarrassing yourself, 'Monogamy' was the mainstream form of marriage, not polygyny, which was usually practiced by the rich of society, who were demographically speaking always a tiny minority compared to the vast poor majority. Secondly i don't see why a succesful Somali lady over the age of 30 should settle for a polygamous guy and become a second-class wife when there are plenty of 30+ single Somali men.

A human Alpha male is the XY half of the 'Alpha pair', the other half ofcourse is the XX Alpha female. Polygamy without good cause i.e 'low-population'/'shortage of men' is an unprogressive and animalistic inferiority complex comparable to the ''little man'' syndrome where the tiny guy feels he always has to prove himself by being extra aggressive, similary with our case the Polygamous individual by hitching with more females than is necessary, believes his manhood increases as a result. Poor Beta males, i pity them.

Originally posted by Cawaale: Lol typical Dailymail with their Fu Manchu complex.

xaax

Congrats brother Dabshid, may your son grow up to become a healthy young man, Insha-allah.

Sisters that become second/third/etc wives, or allow their husbands to have several more spouses are such ignorant WEAKLINGS. If i ever hear something like that coming out of the mouth of the person i love, i would drop her on the spot, like a brick. These polygamous brothers who have difficulty maintaining what they already are responsible for, should stop deluding themselves thinking their a 15th century Mamluk Sultan.

The majority of these Somali cities and towns have historic sites. map of Somalia The following is from a PM that i send to sister Ismahaan who visited Somalia recently: My advice for you when your visiting S-land is: First destination: Hargeisa -There should be an old giant Fortress in the city(i think its best if you asked a local Hargeisawi knowlegdeable of the area where the precise location of that large fortress is and he/she might show you even more historical sites which are still unexplored) -Laas Geel rock painting Cave complex Second destination: Amud and Abasa -Two large stone cities(you can see some ancient ruins of Amud if you type ''Amud,Somalia'' in google images) (^ both of those cities are situated in the Borama area which is close to Hargeisa) Third destination: Saylac - Sa'ad ad Din Island and the medieval ruins and shrines - Old City walls - Ruins of the old quarter of the city - Qiblatain Mosque and others (Saylac is in the Awdal province and close by Borama) Fourth destination: Bulhar -Ancient Port city with lots of historical relics (close to Saylac) Fifth Destination: Berbera -Old stone city of Biya Guure - a few miles east of Berbera(again ask a local Berberawi to show you the way) -Ancient Dubar aquaduct (Berbera is next to Bulhar) Sixth Destination: Heis -Ancient city with lots of relics (close to Berbera) Seventh Destination: Mait -Ancient city with many ruins (next to Heis) Eighth Destination: Erigavo - Ancient Stone city of Maduna in Eel Afweyn which is close to Erigavo(type in Maduna, Somalia in google images and you will see some interesting remains of that city) - Dervish Fortresses in Erigavo I will continue with P-land Destination: Bosaso -Old palaces of the Alula dynasty -Several Forts -Historic mosques and shrines -Old port Destination: Taleex -Fortresses of Taleex -Shrines of Sayyid's mother and father Destination: Las Khorey - Palaces of the Gerads - Several fortresses - Old port Destination: Qandala - Old stone city - several palaces and forts Destination: Hafun - ruins of Ancient Opone - ancient harbour - 18th century forts Destination: Hobyo - Many 19th century ruins such as forts and palaces - Ajjuuraan Palace with seven arches. There are also several other important sites and places such as Bargaal, Botiala and Bandar Beyla with lots of historic heritage. Now lets continue with Southern Somalia Destination: Warsheikh - Historic mosques and shrines - Pillar tombs - City walls - Ruined houses Destinations: Merka and Barawa - Many old mosques, palaces and shrines - The old sections of the cities that have houses four or five storeys high - Stone Towers Destination: Gondershe - Old citadel - many historic mosques and shrines Destination: Luuq - Old city - ruins of historic mosques and tombs Destination: Bardera - Old citadel Destination: Mogadishu - 13th century Arba Rucun mosque - Fakr Ad din Mosque - Jamia University - Almnara Tower - City walls - Shingani - Hamar jajab - old lighthouses - etc There about twenty or more historic cities and towns that i have left out such as Mareeg, Jasira, Kismayu, Bur Gaabo, and Ilig because the historical heritage there is very similar to the above.

Originally posted by NGONGE: quote:Originally posted by Adam.: Non-sequitur Ngonge, the occupiers influence was non-existant, not on our religion, not on our culture, not on our way of life. My grandfather and mother lived as their ancestors did before and after these imaginary lines were drawn. My grandfather and mother did not lose their first language the way many younglings in our community do today. My grandfather and mother went reguraly to their local mosques undisturbed and the Ayaan Hirsi syndrome was an alien concept. My grandfather and mother socialised with other Somalis, unlike me and the majority of Somali diaspora who go to school, work etc with a myriad of different people. Its disingenous for you to say that the issues faced by us today is comparable to the issues of our grandparents, which was irrendetism and self-determination. Nonsense. Many of your grandparents worked as lackeys for Italians, British and French. Many (inside their own country) picked up the habits and styles of these people (ilbax all the way).My grandparents were either nomads or worked for other Somalis. It is you who is the revisionist historian here not me. For starters you paint the picture that there was a heavy presence of occupiers in all walks of Somali life, when we all know what they represented was tiny skeleton administrations that had no real impact on our society outside the issue of African borders, unlike the diasporic communities who are literally conditioned to fit in the societies of their host countries. You talk about 1% that marry reverts or whoever on the one hand and dismiss the same 1% of your grandparents who did exactly the same thing. Neither cases are nowhere near 1%, and marrying out has been a historic reality(though insignificant) since B.C times all the way to the 19th century, because Somali traders visited other port cities in the Red Sea and Indian Ocean and vice versa. Don't pat yourself in the back and say you are facing bigger or different problems, saaxib. On the whole, the problems are the same. It's only the people paying attention to them and making them seem bigger nowadays. What part of us living in foreign lands with different religions, cultures and social norms fails to register with you Ngonge? We are outsiders, no matter how many Somali cops patrol the street, it only takes one thug to ruin it for the rest, it only takes one radical to ruin it for the rest. We are facing issues that are very different to the ones of our ancestors, where the occupiers were the outsiders. I made it clear that the current generation is the most significant one in steering the course of the Somali diaspora that no other generation had been tasked with in the past simply for the fact that the Somali diaspora before the war was minuscule. However, if you want to be petty and compare being in a school class with non Somalis to eedo xaawa having her first glimpse of electricity, I would only ask you to note all these things down for a future date when you're in need of a laugh. What do you mean? Somalis had the wheel, had the sail, had the compass, had ventilated houses, had stone anchor shanks, had textile machines, these things come natural with global trade, as eedo Xaawo noticed when her tv was installed in the 70s or 80s, but i fail to see how your example supports your stand that eedo Xaawo living in a land populated by her people, where her culture is practiced, where her language is dominant is comparable to the situation in the modern diaspora where her niece Ebyan lives in a society where the Somali language is not dominant, where her religion is not dominant, where her culture is not dominant, where her people demographically are not dominant.

Lady_Somalia i aint buff, but ya still deserve dem five gunshots in the air Brapp brapp brapp brapp brapp booyaka! Ima finna get some to eat, cause G's need to stay in shape. Ya don't kno.

Crash Bandicoot.

Fellas, what turns you off in a women? -Timid women -Smokers -Drugs users -Fanatics -Not capable of making up her own mind -To serious -High maintainance -Not capable of comprimising

Originally posted by Sherban Shabeel: Germany didn't lose the war. Germany won the war. Look at the European Union today. Today Germany is using 100% of their society. A non-agressive Germany would have become Europe's economic and political leader by default, due to its large population. The war was actually a giant blunder that set them back for more than 40 years afterwards, divided between two superpowers, thats hardly a victory, not to forget all the money they had to pay to multiple 'victor' countries for decades, or the stigma that came with being the nation that had murdered so many people. You have a very interesting definition of 'victory'.

Hayee,i bought this today for Ibti, how many steps up the ladder is this?: btw on a serious note, does anyone fear their loved one becoming a target if you give very expensive gifts like necklaces etc?