sad

Bilaal, masha-Allah. Jazaka-Allahu-khairan for your input. This discussion is actually going better than expected. So please continue. Bilaal, can you give us perhaps some guidelines into avoiding common pitfalls and make a stable program.

^this because many of the wadaads are devoid of knowledge and compassion. A friend of mind, a shaykh himself, told me about the story of his shaykh in the saharan desert. One of his shaykhs had his first child in middle age. This is because his first wife was barren. But for years he did not marry again fearing that this would hurt his wife even though she gave him permission. Finally, he gave in after his mother insisted and married again. This is a real shaykh, he was willing to never have a child again so that he would not hurt her. Obviously his Mom was very delighted with her grandson.

anwar how is your islamic uni decision going??

I'm thinking of literacy improvement program for mainly Somalis, but open, to all Muslims. The problem, I can't do it for free, and you know that vast majority of people would never pay for such a thing. So it is a catch-22. This will only be feasible when we value education enough to take it seriously. That is how the Asians were able to achieve what they achieved because of the deep respect they have for education and discipline.

unless we know our roles in such a relationship, it is difficult to make sense of how these things work. Just look at biology; women in general are attracted to men with a lot going for themselves, preferably more than themselves so that they can be leaders/guardians/protectors and can feel secure she and her children will be taken care of under his shade. many women raised in the west with feminist attitudes find this very distasteful even though it is a biological reality. it is just the way things are. I will now run and hide behind my chair...

This is the kind of thing that only a qualified shaykh can do something about or say something about.

Answering my question with a question. Why don't you pray sincerely to God whether you believe in Him or not and ask Him to show you the way? You have nothing to lose. One has to understand that Iman is a gift. May we all receive and continue to receive this gift from Allah! Amin

Originally posted by chocolate & honey: There are many, many sub communities here. So do you mean Somalida? Yes.

Only Allah knows who is going to paradise or hell.

Dear Johny, You must first decide if faith in a Creator is something you desire. If so then the only way is to inquire those who have it how to get it, if not, then please mind your own business and cease this. That is unless you've decided to wage war against those who believe. In which case you're an enemy to all those who believe regardless of how they came to that believe. Other then that, I wish all the best for you.

Again thank you all. You really do have much more patience than I or perhaps you work at better schools than the one I work at. I teach all boys. It seems that teaching in America, especially in public schools, is akin to babysitting. Many of the students I have, the vast majority of them, don't know the basics of what they should've known in 6/7 grade. I have juniors who don't know how to add, subtract, divide, and multiply fractions where as the state expects them to be taught algebra 2/precalculus and because of that the parents do expect that as well? It is very sad. It seems that parents don't answer that their children are not going to benefit from math and science taught in English when their children don't know english well enough to understand concepts or read the questions and understand what the questions are asking for let alone apply knowledge they didn't receive. This I found to be a big problem for a big chunk of my students it is problem for the vast majority to a lesser degree. Those who do well are those who can read and comprehend what they read properly. I feel very sad for the future of our communities and poor inner city children. Is any teacher here involved in any efforts to remove illiteracy from our communities?

Life is hard and we're going to be faced with hard choices, to each his own decision. my opinion is that it is better for a family to be poor but raise children with akhlaq and taqwa than the vis-versa. Unfortunately, for children to be raised with that requires lots and lots of time and sacrifice from both parents. Parents should be ready to sacrifice their material well being for the wellbeing of their children in this world and the next. I believe parents would profit twice, worldly and other-worldly, from such a strategy. Single parenthood is one of the worst things that could happen to a family. and I face this daily in our community.

Thank you all for your heartfelt responses. You certainly have something I don't, perhaps, male teachers and female teachers have a different impact on students. Malika, I've heard the importance of being fair and consistent many times, but I'm at a loss when it comes to practical application. Would it be fair to treat chronic disrupter and a good student who makes an honest mistake once in a blue moon with the same level of sterness? Who decides what is fair? Adolescents that are constantly monitoring the teacher with their own view of fairness? Please if you don't mind give me some examples, you too Chocolate&Honey, because I know that also not being uniform will make the chronic disrupters testy. "Ohh look, you won't punish him cause he's your favorite student." Many feel as if I have a personal grudge against them. Sayid, thank you for mentioning the stick. My question for you is, where is this possible in the states or western europe without risking a lawsuit? It is given that an established school simply can't do that. My second concern would be are muslim/somali parents being wise when they use the stick in an attempt to discipline their kids? I've seen kids who are like donkeys. The use of the stick has lead to the necessity of the stick in order to have the kid behave. And this is a sticky problem many teachers face. Kids must behave in class, however, the stick is not there for those who are used to it. I just don't think it is wise for any to be using the stick. You can discipline the child when they're a toddler by being consistently firm no matter what tantrums they throw. No means No no matter what. This is how they'll learn to follow the rules instead of being spoiled. I used to get whipped a lot as a kid but day in and day out, it never prevented me from doing what I wanted to do. The more it was used the less effect it had on me. Raising children is a tricky business, many parents just don't know how to do it.

Originally posted by Rayyan*: ^^The good guy gave his good advice sheekhuna. both of them are good.it all depends the intention of the learner. "ItaquAllah yacalimakum Allah". co-relation between taqwa and knowledge. I'd just like to double-up on Rayyan's advice. That is the crux. Try to really purify your intention only for Allah and not for influence or prestige. Allah (SWT) is the teacher no matter where you are.